Oct 21

2:48am

He was surrounded by darkness. Sweat dripped down his forehead as the eerie voices coming from all around him grew louder.

She won't survive.

She won't wake up.

He wanted to make them stop, but he couldn't. No matter how many times he shouted at them to remain quiet, they'd just start all over again.

He felt suffocated by their constant bickering. There was never a moment of silence.

She won't live.

And it's your fault.

Entirely your fault.

You could've saved her.

But you didn't.

You couldn't.

You're weak.

So weak.

How pathetic.

Doesn't it hurt?

Don't you feel guilty?

Knowing you could've saved her?

Hahaha foolish boy.

You're so weak.

So helpless.

So useless.

Now she will die.

And you're the only one to blame.

Y̷̧̧̟͆̚͝͝o̶̳͉͗͝ụ̸̺͉̙͖͂̌͑̽͘ ̴̤̪͚̘̟̓h̷̞̹̫̣͙͛ű̴̻̰̕r̵̩̘̓͝t̵̰̠̻̻̝͌̾̂̈́ ̸̳͕͌̐̋̈́̿ẖ̸͉̦͇̥̓̒̚̚ę̵͎̺̯̏ŕ̴͓̘͛͛.̶̼́̄̍͘ͅ

Xiao shook his head over and over again while ruffling his hair in frustration. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. QUIET," he shouted at them but to no avail.

He could still hear the voices, blaming him for all of it.

"Everything... was going fine. Why did this happen? Why did it have to happen?"

Because you don't deserve to be happy. To be peaceful.

"What could I have done?"

Nothing. Since you're weak.

"I— know."

Pathetic.

"Stop speaking to me."

You never did deserve happiness. Not after letting it happen.

"Please."

Did you really think things would just go back to normal so smoothly?

"I—"

Did you think y/n would help you feel better?

"No, be quiet. Just be quiet."

How naive of you to think that.

You're a fool, Xiao.

Keep living a lie.

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Xiao continued visiting Qiqi on a daily basis. He would run for the school exit the moment he heard the bell ring.

Every day, he prayed to the archons to not let anything bad happen to Qiqi. But every day, he felt as if he was only fooling himself. The male was gradually losing hope.

Today was another day for him to be disappointed. The girl still wasn't showing any signs of waking up. And this truth was becoming too much for Xiao to bear.

He took in a deep sigh before entering Qiqi's room. And once he walked in, he saw the little girl still sound asleep.

He brushed his front locks backwards with his hand while another exhausted sigh escaped his lips. "It's hopeless," he mumbled to himself.

He gave Qiqi one last pained look before leaving the room.

After walking back outside, Xiao decided to take a seat on a bench near the hospital. He leaned his head backwards on the bench and stared at the bright sky.

"It's hopeless," he repeated.

○●○

"You look defeated." Xiao heard a familiar voice come from beside him. He quickly turned his head and saw someone he didn't want to see.

He narrowed his eyes at the black headed boy who took a seat on the bench.

"What are you doing here?" Xiao asked, in an irritated tone.

"I'm here for the same reason as you are, why else?" Zixin replied as he rolled his eyes.

Xiao sighed as he shifted his attention back to the empty sky. "What do you want from me then?" He muttered.

"Nothing. You just looked really sick."

"I'm not sick. You should leave now."

"I was planning to," the other male exhaled loudly as he got up from the bench.

Before leaving, he turned around one last time to look at Xiao. "You really do look defeated. I wonder if you've lost hope for the girl."

Not saying anything more, Zixin took his leave. Xiao didn't respond. He only closed his eyes and crossed his arms. 'What would you know about being defeated?'

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Oct 21

4:01pm

are you alr

you haven't said a thing in these past couple of days

yea, i'm fine

did you check up on qiqi today

yea, still nothing

oh, i see

hh but i'm sure she will be fine

how do you know that

i can't guarantee it but i do think it's too early to lose hope

it's been months, y/n

still no progress

and just when she was abt to get better, things had to go downhill again

there's no point in hoping for something that clearly won't happen

so you're giving up?

i'm not giving up

i just think i'm lying to myself by saying there's a chance she will get better

but there is a chance she will get better

no, there isn't

it's fucking dumb continuing to hope for it

i don't think that

don't give up on qiqi yet

it's easy for you to say that because you hardly remember what happened

that's not true

it's not easy for me either

you don't know the state she was in

how hurt she was

but i do

i saw her get hit, i saw her lay on the ground fainted and hurt, i saw everything but what did i do?

i did nothing

but you weren't able to do anything at the time

exactly

because i'm fucking weak

i knew what was going to happen but i wasn't strong enough to prevent it

that's not true, xiao

you know it wasn't your fault

but it was

i appreciate what you're trying to do

y/n, but it was my fault

i could've helped her but wasn't able to solely because i'm weak

and i hate myself for that

i can never forgive myself

pls don't say stuff like that

we don't even know for sure what will happen to qiqi

she might recover for all we know

didn't hu tell you?

the odds are against it

she

there's a good chance she won't survive

i don't know what to tell you anymore

except, it's too soon to give up

i need to go now

alr...

take care pls ily

Seen at 4:07pm

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Oct 21

4:08pm

You quickly put on your shoes and began running to Hu Tao's house. Your head was empty and the only thing you were thinking of was the conversation you just had with Xiao.

Your eyes were slightly teary but you remained running. You had to see Hu Tao right now.

It took around 6 minutes of running to get there. And when you did, you were a mess. Your face was drenched with tears, your lungs were fighting for their life, and you were panting non-stop.

You rang the doorbell a few times and Hu Tao opened it moments later.

"Y/n? What the hell happened to you??" Hu Tao asked in a worried tone, while quickly wiping your tears.

"I— don't know what to do anymore," you mumbled, still panting in between. "Here, have some water." The brunette hurriedly grabbed her water bottle and gave it to you.

You took the lid off and did a quick water fall. "Thanks," you said while handing it back to her.

Hu Tao gave you a reassuring smile. "Of course," she said, patting your shoulder.

"Now, tell me. What in the world happened?"