"Sal, you didn't tell me you look better than me in dresses," I gasp, looking my partner up and down with a mortified expression. "Also- I had no idea you own platforms."

"You didn't tell me you look better than me in a tie," he chuckles.

"Wait, let me get a picture of you two," my mom calls from the kitchen.

"Okay," I laugh.

She scurries over with her phone in hand. My mom gestures for us to stand closer to each other, so Sal puts a hand on my waist. She smiles and takes a few pictures, then holds her arms out for a hug.

"I love you, be safe, okay? Keep your phone with you at all times. Tell me if you decide to stay the night at Sal's, but ask if you want to stay anywhere else," she tells me as I embrace her.

"Okay, I love you too," I smile and reluctantly let go. "Thank you for letting me miss school for this, by the way."

"You're welcome. Now go, get out! Have fun!" she laughs and waves us off.

I laugh and take Sal's hand. Larry whistles at us in the hallway, and I wave. Sal seems a tad irritated, but I know he thinks it's funny. He holds my hand all the way to the car. The ride is about an hour, so I offer to drive, but he declines as usual. It's honestly a miracle that we didn't get pulled over with how hard we were headbanging...

My boyfriend turns down the music, "I forgot to mention, but I barely know this cousin. He invited me, and my dad is making me go. His name is Ian, he's getting married to some person named Gryffen."

"Okay. Now you have to introduce me to your family, which means you have to marry me after this," I grin.

"I will, don't worry," he laughs and pats my knee.

"Where is this place, anyway?"

"Just up the road here. It's at some church."

"Is it one of those pray-the-gay-away churches?" I cringe.

"I have no idea. Gryffen uses they/she, so that either means the family doesn't know they're nonbinary, or they accept them."

"Hm. Can I put some mascara on you? Just for the sentiment, not your appearance. You're pretty either way, of course."

"Sure."

Sally Face pulls into the parking lot and takes off his mask so I have some elbow room. I take it out from my mini-backpack and lean towards him. He looks at me doubtfully, obviously not thrilled to have something so close to his eyes.

"Hold your eyes half closed, I'm not going to get it on your eye, I promise," I instruct, holding it up to his face. He does a good job not blinking or pulling away. "All done."

"If I don't look like Kim Kardashian, we're gonna have an issue," he teases me, taking out his phone. He takes a picture of us after putting his mask back on. I smile just in time, looking up from putting the item back in my bag.

"Okay, we should probably go in. Do you think you can sit still for a while?"

We get out of his car and start heading toward the church, "Yeah, I'm not five, heh."

"I know. You're just high energy," he puts an arm around my waist.

"And you're just done with my circus before I even started acting like a clown," I sigh dramatically.

"That's not true, I told Larry to stop being rude when you were broken because of Hello Kitty, didn't I?" the boy laughs.

"Yeah, you did."

Sal guides me in and makes it about halfway to the pews before someone calls his name. He tightens his hold on me a little and turns around to face a slightly older woman. She's donned in all white, and smiling brightly. That is, until she sees his dress and... Well, my entire outfit.

"Sal, dear... Who is this? Did you two trade clothes in the car?" she chuckles nervously.

"This is Y/n. They're my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. We didn't trade clothes, and it's nice to see you too," he says in a cheerful voice. She definitely noticed him hesitate.

"...I see. Well, I'm Sal's Aunt Mary, but you can just call me Mary. It's lovely to meet you, Y/n," she smiles tensely and extends a hand.

"You too, Mary," I shake it firmly and smile politely, though I lean a bit closer to Sal. It's one of those pray-the-gay-away churches.

"Well, we should get going," my boyfriend says, already pulling me away.

"Remember when I said that one guy in RDR2 smelled like cornflakes and tap water? I think you guys might be related," I say in a low voice.

Sal snickers and relaxes his grip on me. I grin for real this time. We manage to get about three feet closer to the pews before someone else steps in front of us. Sal nods hello, but they open their mouth and start talking, much to our dismay.

"Hey! I haven't seen you since you were just a little thing! Why don't you take off your mask?" they say excitedly.

"It's a prosthetic," I mumble. How irritating.

"Oh, it's... What happened?"

Gods, this person is nosy. Don't you know how to shut up and mind your own business? Sal doesn't seem bothered by the question, though.

"I would rather not say," he replies simply.

"But-"

"I'm dating him, and I don't even know. Please respect his boundaries," I interrupt. I make sure to use the sweetest voice I can, so I don't come off as rude.

"I'm his great uncle Joe, I should get to know," the man frowns at me ().

"I'll be living happily with him while your flesh is falling off the bone in your tomb like your wife's overcooked and underseasoned ribs, so I have more of a right to know than you ever will. I'm his family because I respect his boundaries, not because I think I have the right not to," I sneer. "My name is Y/n, and it's nice to meet you too."

He stares at me, appalled. I stare back with a grin still plastered on my face. I straighten my tie while maintaining eye contact.

"You need to learn to respect your elders," he scolds me, pointing a finger in my face.

"You need to learn to respect when someone says 'no.'"

"Don't you tell me what to-" Sal's great uncle pokes my chest. Hard.

Sal grabs his hand and twists it to shove him back with just enough force to make the man stumble a few steps. Nothing that would break his ancient bones. I hear a few gasps from around us, and everyone takes a few steps away.

"Don't touch my partner/boyfriend/girlfriend again," he says, loud enough so the people around us can hear. "When I say no, I mean no. When they say no, we both mean no."

Collective whispers surround the three of us. Well, now I know who isn't coming to our wedding. Gotta love a great first impression, too. Joe regains his balance, and brings his elbow back to hit Sal.

"What would God think? Hitting a poor boy with a prosthetic face in the middle of church? He's your family, you said it yourself!" I cry, feigning a look of mortification. "Ephesians 4:31-32!"

I hear a few murmurs from the crowd, and they're all holding good ol' great uncle Joe accountable. His face turns beet red, but he doesn't drop his arm. No, instead he turns to me. My blood runs ice cold. I barely have time to flinch as his knuckles rush toward my face.

.

.

I let out a quiet whimper and slowly open my eyes when his hand doesn't come in contact with my face.

"I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THEM," Sal yells. He'd pushed him a little, only enough to throw his punch off balance. Before I can even register what just happened, Sal lets go of my waist and punches the old man in the nose. I can tell he went at him with all he had.

"I am so, so sorry," I hear a masculine voice whisper. I feel a hand on my forearm, and glance over to see a man in a very formal suit, more formal than everyone else. I assume this is Ian. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, just like the pictures I've seen of Diane. He pulls me away from the scene and slings an arm around my shoulders to guide me to a room in the back.

"I will be right back, please make yourself comfortable," he speaks quickly and quietly. I just look at him with wide eyes. What the hell is happening? He leaves me to myself and the acolyte robes hanging in a nearby closet. The room is small, but there's enough room for a couch and coffee table. I gingerly sit down and try to calm my nerves.

Ian and Mary come back a minute later escorting Sal. His knuckles are bleeding and his breathing is heavy. They give each other a worried glance and sit him down next to me. Ian sits down on the other side of me, while Mary stands adjacent to the doorway with a hand over her heart, pale as a ghost.

"I'm so sorry about this. Joe is leaving right now, and I can assure you that nobody here thinks either of you are at fault. They saw what happened, and unfortunately, so did I. If there's anything I can do for the two of you, please do not hesitate to let Mary or myself know," Ian says calmly. I hold my boyfriend's bleeding hand on my lap so it won't stain his white dress.

"Thank you, but you don't have to apologize. It's your special day, and I don't want someone else's actions to ruin that for you, nor do I want to draw anymore attention to myself. Please, go enjoy your wedding," I force a smile on my face.

"I appreciate your understanding," he pats my shoulder and leads a shaken Mary from the room. She gives us a sympathetic nod.

Sal sighs and leans back, "What was that Bible verse you mentioned?"

"31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

"Why the fuck do you know that?" he laughs suddenly after a long pause.

"I memorized it just in case your family turns out to be a bunch of toxic Christians," I snicker. "You can thank my eighth grade history teacher for making me learn how to memorize stuff."

"Jeez, what did they make you memorize?"

"The Preamble, the amendments word-for-word, and 140 facts in one week, twice a month."

"And you passed?" the blue-haired teen looks at me incredulously.

"We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America."

"How long did they give you?!"

"A week, but obviously no class time," I shrug.

"That is... The only reason you're passing your classes, isn't it? Survival instincts?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, you learn something new every day. Unless you're in eighth grade- then you learn twenty new things."

"Pretty much," I grin. "I say the Preamble in my head the way she made us recite it when I get anxious, so it forces me to slow down."

"That's kind of genius," Sal chuckles. I lay down on the couch so my head is on his lap and close my eyes.

"I have no idea why I didn't say this already, but thank you for what you did back there. I'm sorry I almost killed your uncle by making him so angry that his blood pressure was through the roof."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I almost killed him. He deserves worse than a broken nose and disl..."

"Sal. What did you do?" I open my eyes and look directly at him. "Look at me."

"I dislocated his shoulder," he mumbles, avoiding my gaze.

"Look at me and say it clearly."

He meets my eyes and speaks so I can hear him, "I dislocated his shoulder."

"UM- you are the love of my life, the light... But I thought the broken nose was plenty," my eyes widen.

"He put his hands on you. He was about to make your face look like mine. I don't fucking care if he's my uncle, Hitler, or God himself- he still did it."

"I don't care what my face looks like, nor do I care what yours looks like."

"Love, my face was ripped up by the same dog that ended up giving my mom rabies and killing her. It's not about what your face looks like, it's about the pain that asshole was about to put you through to make it look like that."

"Sir, I just made your family hate me," I sigh. "My face is not my concern."

"Don't you 'sir' me. You don't get to use it like that."

"You, sir, are a fish."

"You, pet, need to stop with the Arthur Morgan quotes," he raises his eyebrows at me under his mask.

"I can't do that, you might mess up our future."

"How?"

"I have a plan," I smirk. "Don't mess it up."

"No, stop."

"I just need money. One more big sco-" Sal cuts me off by grabbing my thigh. I gently smack his hand away, so he gently smacks my face. I gasp, "You did not."

"I did, boah."

"I'll turn you into a goddamn cauliflower."

"I'll leave you stranded in Tahiti."

"I'll steal your wallet in the middle of Guarma."

"I'll push you into Blackwater and handcuff you to Micah."

"That's too far. This is why you're my third favorite parasite."

"Tch, you're still my ringworm," the boy sighs.

"And you're still the Arthur to my Lenny," I giggle.

"I better be," he lifts his mask to kiss my forehead. I grin and briefly kiss his lips before he pulls it back down. Sal flicks my forehead, "No."

"Oops."

"Keep your head still."

I frown and poke the pressure point behind his ear and jaw. He grabs my hand and gives me a look. I give him a look back.

"Strike one."

"Wait, holy shit, I forgot we're at your cousin's wedding," I squeak. "What time is it?"

Sal checks his watch, "Starts in ten minutes."

"Whew. We should probably find some place to sit. Are you still bleeding?"

"Uh... No, but there's dried blood," he says, glancing at his knuckles.

"Don't wipe it off with your spit, your saliva breaks it down and it'll start bleeding again," I tell him as I sit up.

"I don't care," he licks his thumb and wipes it off. It starts bleeding again.

"I told you," I sigh and stand up. "I don't think a pink bandaid is fit for the job, so we're gonna have to ask someone for a bit of gauze, okay?"

"It's not that big-"

"Sal, I'm doing this for the sake of your white dress, too. I know that could not have been cheap."

"You got me there."

"I know, come on. Let's ask Mary."

- Timeskip rendez-vous jeudi (Thursday) -

My mom and I are sitting on the couch looking at the pictures Ian and Gryffen sent us from their wedding. They're all gorgeous. Those two make a beautiful couple, and my mom and everyone at the ceremony agrees.

There's one of Sal punching uncle Joe, and a few of him yanking his arm back while pinning him down, which I personally thanked Ian for as soon as I saw it. The rest are group photos that Sal and I are in. I showed her the ones with a bandage wrapped around Sal's hand and what caused it last.