Scarlett pov

When I stepped out of the bathroom I saw Lena sprawled out on the bed fast asleep. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. I lay down next to her and she snuggled up to me in a matter of seconds. I just witnessed something truly magnificent. I made her scream my name and beg all in one. She looked so mesmerizing and I wish I could have gotten a picture of how she looked.

I've come to terms I have feelings for Lena. Strong and very painful feelings. I realised this when she left for England and I kept thinking of her. She was everywhere and to top it off Colin wouldn't shut up about her. He even made me watch her in the Buckingham palace. When she got those medals from the royal family. I have to admit I am hurt I found out from Colin, but I know well enough that I shouldn't feel such way. I don't deserve to feel any sort of hurt. I let her go.

Now I regret letting her go. Why? Because I for one am pregnant. I.. I got pregnant while she was away. And to top it all off my wedding is in a month or so as well.

I shouldn't have slept with her. I should have stayed away and let her be happy with Alex. Who am I kidding. I loved making her scream my name. I enjoyed in the feeling that maybe Alex will hear us. The're not official yet but I have a strong feeling they won't be after this either. Maybe I am selfish.. Maybe I am a monster. I just couldn't watch her be happy without me. She is completely able to find happiness without me. That scares me. She already moved on. She told me herself that she doesn't feel as much as she did before. Maybe she thought of this as a one night stand. Maybe she wanted to get this out of her system.

I can't stay here. I can't sleep in the same bed as her and I can definitely not be here when she wakes up. Oh God what will I do? I can text her and when she wakes up she'll see. Or I can write her a note. Something nice and sweet so she doesn't get hurt by me. Lena is a tough nut to crack. I bet she won't even feel a thing. Yeah. I'll do that. I'll write her a note and leave.

I sneaked out of her room right after I put the note next to her head. She will see it as soon as she wakes up. The lights are off and I can tell Alex went to bed. I should too. I pick up my keys and tip toe to my car. I can't do this. I can't do this. God I feel horrible doing this. But this is for the best. If Colin found out I slept with Lena he would leave me at the altar. He would try to hurt me the way I hurt him. Thats the type of guy he is. He is more traditional and he reminds me a lot of my father.

The funny thing is, Lena and Colin could not be more different. They both radiate a different energy and act very differently. Lena is the mysterious rich girl everyone wants to date and Colin is the nice funny guy that is friend zoned by everyone. I spoke with Colin and he told me I should try to watch what I eat, for the baby at least. I agree with him. I gained a lot of weight and I should try to be more careful.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What have I done? Oh my fucking god what have I done?? I left her alone after sex with just a note. I did what I never thought I would. Now she will probably never want to speak to me again.

I wanted to do that for a very long time. She made me feel so hot and cold at the same time that I don't think I will ever forget the sensation. Colin came home to me and we had a lazy day in. I felt a pang of guilt when I saw him and I couldn't shake it off. I didn't want to seem suspicious so I decided to have sex with him. Of course I didn't cum but thats not the point. As long as he is happy I am too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It has been two days since I did what I did. I can't reach her. She sends me to voicemail every chance she gets. It is so frustrating I just gave up. She probably hates me by now. Or she is already on a plane back to England. One of the two.

I hope she arrives to my wedding. I want to see her that day. Even if she is not the one on the other end of the isle. I should talk with Chris or Lizzie about all this. I should try and see what to do right now. I don't want to lose Lena for good. She means too much to me.

I get a phone call from my mother, fantastic..

"Hello." I answer trying to sound chirpy

"Hello darling. I didn't ask you, how was your lunch with Lena the other day?" She asks

"Is that why you called?" I ask

"No I wanted to see how my daughter feels after seeing her friend she may or may not like more than that." She says

"Mother!" I scowl and she laughs

"Don't you pretend this is not the slightest bit of true. I know what she means to you Scar. There is no point in being ashamed." She says

"I'm not ashamed."

"So you admit you do have feelings for her."

"What?"

"Aha! You can't take back what you just said. I knew it! So how was it I want to hear all about it." She says

"It was nice, we talked and had some italian. I liked her company and then we separated and went home." I lie. I can't possibly say we slept together.

"Thats it?" She asks

"Yeah. It was pretty boring." I say

"Huh. Alright. How about you and I go out to eat somewhere. Some quality mother daughter time." She suggests

"I guess I could." I say

"Fantastic. Pick me up at 2." She says and hangs up.

Jesus even my own mother loves Lena. I mean everyone does. What isn't there to like honestly. Ugh Scarlett get a grip for god sakes..

.

So my mother and I spend the rest of the day together. Her and I had a few chats about Lena but I gave her only vague answers. I know she wouldn't approve and besides, it is not any of her business anyway.

When I came back home I got a call from Chris. He kept asking about Lena but I didn't say anything. It turns out she's not responding to any of his calls either. Huh...Thats strange and slightly concerning.

I go sleep and see I have a message from Colin. He told me he can't make it home tonight because he got held up at work again. Thats great. Fantastic. Just wonderful. Can you sense the sarcasm?

I was rudely awoken by someone almost knocking down my doors.

"Jesus Christ I'm coming!" I yell putting a robe onto my body.

I open the door to see a random woman standing there.

"Who are you?" She asks

"I could ask you the same question. How did you get past security?" I ask

"They know me so they let me get past. Where is Colin?" She asks

"I don't know. Probably at home right now."

"Can I see him? It's urgent."

"I'm afraid he's not here. What did you want to talk about? I can tell him you were here." I say

"It's rather private. I can't talk about it with anyone."

"But you can talk about it with Colin?" I ask

"Well yeah, of course I can. Colin's my fiancé." she says

"Colin is your what?" I ask furious

"Colin in my fiancé. What isn't there to understand." She says

"Come inside. It's freezing out."

"Oh thank you. I never knew he had such nice roomates." She says walking inside.

We sit in my living room, on the couch.

"Tell me, how long were you two together for?" I ask.

"Before we got engaged?" She asks

"Yes." I answer through gritted teeth.

"We were together for almost a year. Then he purposed." She says with a disgusting grin on her face.

"When did you plan to get married?" I ask

"Some time in december. We plan on doing it close to the holidays. So all of our family can come from Boston." She says

huh so she's... she's not oblivious.. she's just in love?

"I didn't catch your name." She says

"It's Scarlett" I say sourly

"So you're the fantasy girl. Nice to finally meet you." She says

"The fantasy what?"

"The fantasy girl. Colin and I talked about you. Did he get you a ring already?" She asks

"What?" I ask confused.

"Didn't he explain everything to you?"

"What is there to explain?" I ask

"Colin and I are in an open relationship until we get married. We let each other live out fantasies we wanted before we made it official and got married for real." She says

"So wait I was just a fantasy to him?" I say with tears in my eyes.

"He must have liked you thats for sure. But yeah, he told me all about you." She says

"This can't be happening." I say and stand up.

"Oh but it is."

"We sent out wedding invitations! We even found a venue." I say

"Did he send them out?" She asks

"Yeah. I sent only one." I say

"I assure you, no invitations were sent out by him." She says calmly.

"Get out of my house this instant." I say

"Scarlett I'm sorry he didn't tell you."

"I am carrying this man's child and he considers me a game?!" I yell and she bursts out laughing

"Whats so funny?!" I yell.

"Scarlett.. he.. you're not really pregnant." She says between laughter.

"Yes I am. I got three different tests." I say

"Did Colin buy them for you?" She asks

That little shit. He bought me fake pregnancy tests???

"I am sorry if he hurt you. I thought you knew." She says sincerely.

"Just leave. Please just leave." I say and walk to the kitchen to get some water.

She listens to me and walks herself out of my house. I sit on the kitchen floor and start to sob. I couldn't stop myself. I gave myself to this man. I loved him. And he just.. he just used me like that. For his own twisted little fantasies. He used me like a was a rag. He used me like I... a lot like I used Lena. Is this God's way of getting me back? Or karma flying back to me like a boomerang. Whatever it is, it worked.

I walk back to my bedroom and lay back down into bed. I can't believe this. I can't believe someone is capable of doing something like that. Purposely using someone to get a thrill before they lock it down. I met his family.. His mother liked me. I met some of his friends. I met everyone important in his life, well beside his fiancee, who's name I didn't get by the way. Is this what everyone knew that I didn't? Is this the reason everyone hated him so much?

I fell asleep after I stained all of my sheets with streams of tears. I can't believe there are people that would do such a thing..