I woke up this morning with a huge headache. I turn my head and see the empty bottle of whiskey on my night stand. Maybe I went a bit overboard. I don't even know when I fell asleep. I get myself out of bed and head straight into the shower. I need to wash the stink away as soon as possible. It would be embarrassing if someone smelt it on me. I got out and took my phone with me. I didn't bother drying my hair. I went downstairs to the kitchen and was met with a smell of tea. My favourite smell in the morning. I answered some emails while I was eating eggs that Richard made. They were delicious. I love his cooking. I got an email from the organization about the number of people going to Palestine. If you don't know already me and my charity organization wanted to help out those in need in Palestine. There is basically a war happening and more people are dying from starvation than grenades. We want to help. Even if it is a 1% change, it will matter.

I put down all of my teams names and info and also my own. I want to do this with them and it will be a great way to spend some time away from everything and everyone. Especially Scarlett. I can't stop thinking about her and sometimes even dreaming. I am hooked on her and the only way I can resist is if I distance my mind away from her in a way that I can make myself busy with work.

♤ ♤

We are heading to the airport to finally go to Palestine. I am so excited. I always wanted to go there. Since it is a muslim country I decided I'll cover up a bit, just to show my respect towards them. I packed a lot of thin materials because I know it is hot there. We didn't take our jet because there is so many of us going. I don't want to do anything to risk us getting in trouble. We sent the supplies a day earlier so they will arrive just a few hours before us. We also have people there to keep it safe until we get to them. I organized my team and we decided we'll wear a certain colour so we can find each other easily. Especially in crowds. I can't wait to just get out of here and to be prepared for anything.

We land on an airport and we are welcomed by the local police. I talked with them beforehand and they told us it will be dangerous to help people on the field if we don't have bulletproof vests or helmets on. So I divided our group in two. Half of the team will go onto the field and help people there and the other half will help people under tents and in kore secure locations. I put on my vest and my helmet and put on a knife on my thigh. I am not permitted a gun but I can carry a knife just in case someone attacks me. All of us have backpacks so we can carry some supplies from the van which is guarded by armed men. We are all trained in first aid and we all have first aid kits in our bags.

We had lunch and got into the vans to go to Gaza. We thought the fire and the armed soldiers were going to be somewhere in the suburbs of the city but no. There are actual Israeli soldiers very close to the mosque. There are kids close by and families just sitting there. I walked up to a boy who looked like he hadn't eaten in days. I lowered my backpack and gave him a packet of food and water. He took it hesitantly and opened to see what is in it. Once he saw rice he immediately started eating. He didn't even sit down. I ushered him to sit down and to eat there so he isn't standing up. He sat down and pointed a finger to a pregnant woman kneeling and getting up after that. She was sitting on her knees with her palms on her knees. She was sitting just in front of the mosque. She's probably praying. I kept an eye on her to see when will she finish. I don't want to interrupt her. She looked around and saw me sitting with the boy. I walked up to her and said hello. She nodded with fear in her eyes. She must think I'm Israeli. I show her the England flag on my vest and smile trying to prove I have nothing to do with them. I take out two packets of food and two bottles of water. The boy comes behind me and nods to the woman saying something I couldn't understand. She smiled and opened it looking at the food. My heart almost broke when I saw her give some food to the little boy first. He shook his head and showed his pack. I just witnessed something completely beautiful and pure. I called my colluege over our radio's and he told me there is a bus coming to pick these people from the streets and into a safe place. I nodded and I moved on to another person.

This time it was an older man. He looked devastated and injured. I slowly approached him and took out the first aid kit. His leg was bleeding and I saw it got dirty because of the dirt. I got some liquid out to clean it. I showed him my hands and that I was unarmed. I also pointed to the England flag and be let me clean his wound. I wrapped it up in gauze and I stopped the bleeding in no time. I gave him a water bottle and a packet of food just like I did before. He looked me with sorrowful eyes and put the bottle down along with the packet. He raised his hands and muttered something under his breath. He started crying and kept telling me thank you in arabic. I smiled and him and showed him to the bus that was already parked.

"Marcus we need a person who talks this dialect to tell them where and what we are doing here. We're no better than the bad guys if they sit in that bus in fear." I say into the radio.

"I'm on it boss." he says and I can see him run to the van.

He does as I told him and two men come walking towards us. I point to the woman and the little boy first and sit down next to the man as he eats. He keeps glancing at me and when the man arrives. He told him what our goal here is and he reached out and took my hand kissing it and pressing his forehead to it. I don't know how I held it in then. He gets up and they walk away.

"You good boss?" Marcus asks

"All good let's continue" I tell him.

And so we did. There were a lot of children there that we picked up as well as mothers. What amazes me about these people is how they didn't lose their faith even in these life threatening situations. The amount of people I saw praying and thanking God whenever we helped is incredible. I was not raised to be religious and the concept of praying to something is nothing what I see myself doing. I've seen a lot of muslims and they just seem at peace.

We rode back in the bus to the camps we set up next to theirs. In the camps there is medical help provided, such as shelter and food and drinks. We got some clothes as well just in case someone needs it. I invested a lot of money here and it is all from the money I got after my fathers death. I put 30£ milion out of my own account and the rest is sponsors and donators from different parts of the world.

The day is about to end so we changed clothes and went to bed in the tents.

We woke up with a siren sound. When I got out of my tent there were soldiers all in a line doing push ups. Morning workout, really? I went to get myself some breakfast and I got changed into my gear. Today we are going to a very risky place and we are allowed to bring two vans. In one there is supplies and the other is for transporting the injured and homeless. I can't say I'm not nervous for today. It is a big thing and pretty dangerous task. I have two knives with me today. Thankfully yesterday's task didn't require for me to get my knife out. But I have a feeling today definitely will.

As soon as we got there we were met by dust and debris of buildings. There were bangs heard in the distance and we had to help people out. There were many injured and bleeding. I took one boy into my arms and carried him to the van. I took out a bullet from his leg and helped a medic stitch him up. I wrapped up his leg and gave him some food and antibiotics.

While I was walking along the street I heard some yelling. I searched for it and when I turned a corner I could finally see it. There was a woman standing next to man. He had big cinderblocks on his legs and couldn't move. I put down my backpack and rolled up my sleeves. The woman understood and moved one of his legs when I raised one of the cinderblocks just enough. I took a breath and helped with the other one. He limped out and I grabbed my backpack. I fell to the ground. Damn that was heavy. When I finally caught my breath I approached the man and saw that his leg was badly bruised which meant it was most likely broken. I checked to see if there is any bleeding and thankfully he was just bruised. I got up and offered my hand to him. I pointed to my vest and with that he took my hand. I put his arm over my shoulder and supported him all the way to the van. There I gave both of them some food and water while Marcus helped the man with his leg.

The day dragged on and as we continued I got progressively more tired. I lifted people and helped them walk. Not to mention the cinderblocks I had to lift to help a trapped man. It was all very overwhelming. When we got back to the van once again I sat down for a bit. I ate a banana and tried to calm my nerves. I had a gut feeling something was about to go wrong.

I swallowed that down and we headed to one of the buildings instead. We took a soldier with us and he was the first to enter the building. As soon as we walked in the soldier got attacked by two men who looked like Israeli soldiers. I was quick to react as I took out my knife and went towards one of the men. I stabbed his thigh and tried to take out his gun. I kicked it away and it hit the wall behind him. We fought with my knife in his leg. He seemed unbothered that a fucking knife was in his leg while he was trying to kick my ass. Emphasis on trying. I punched him in his jaw and he lost his balance and fell backwards. He hit his head and was left unconscious. I turn to the side to see Marcus and the soldier from before looking at me in shock.

"Why is everyone so shocked I can beat someone up" I say

"I don't know but that was awesome" he says and bumps my fist. Which is bleeding by the way. They took out the other soldier so we walked further into the building. I picked up the gun I previously kicked out of that mans hand and we walked up a staircase. We opened a door and inside there were at least 20 people.

"What is this place?" Marcus whispers to me

"A war zone." I tell him and we evacuate everyone from the building and guide them to the vans.

"You were a superhero today boss"

"thanks and now I'm super exhausted, let's go back." I tell him jumping onto the van.

"Why do you keep downplaying it. You literally kicked some Israeli ass today!" He says.

"Thank you Marcus." I tell him

"You're welcome. Do you want me to fix that" he says

"Fix what?" I ask

"Your face. You're bleeding from the fight." he says

"When we get back. Right now I have to rest. I feel like my back will give out"

"Whatever you say" he says and we stay quiet during the ride back.

We had some early dinner and I went to lay down a bit. I can handle a lot, but this is just enormous. The stress and swallowing emotions is just painful. Utterly painful. I wanted to cry so bad today. But I knew I'd look unprofessional and probably unstable so I kept it together.

Even though it is only my second day doing this I just feel like this is what I was left to do. I just feel so happy making these people feel safe and secure. This project is about to last two months and I can't wait to live through all of it. I just feel like I can do anything here.