i feel my heart sink down to my chest

and then slam through the concrete flooring,

through the crusts of the earth;

creating a hole through the inner core.

the breath catches in my throat

like a match catching flame,

it burns until a lump puts it out.

my shoulders drop,

my knees give out.

i become numb.

i become broken.

i feel like i'm scattered into a

million pieces on the ground.

the pain doesn't stop;

not until the rain comes,

it pours down my cheeks,

as hot as ice.

and then when it's all over,

i was hoping for a rainbow

but instead i got a migraine

pounding on my head

as if it were a locked door.

but it didn't open.

i refused to let it budge.

i don't think i can ever open up again.

i build walls higher than mountains,

i dig moats,

i fill them with my blood, sweat and tears.

i shut the windows,

i board them up and let the drapes down.

the outside looks the way the inside feels,

lifeless.