my friend gets up

in studio class

and sings the same song

you sang two years ago.

it's beautiful.

he sounds beautiful,

but something inside me

cracks.

i am walking across

a frozen lake

and when he opens

his mouth and that first

note slips out

my foot shatters the ice

and i fall right into

the frigid water.

i spend the entirety

of that song gritting my teeth

and clenching my fists,

trying to keep a smile

plastered on my face

so he knows it's not him,

it's not his voice.

trying not to let anybody know

i feel like i'm drowning.

when the final chord

plays, i shiver,

pull myself onto the shore.

cough up icicles

and peel frost away

from my eyebrows.

even after two years,

i still find it strange how

the smallest reminders

of you zap the warmth

from me and leave me

frozen.