The sound of waves crashing, the smell of the salty ocean, and the feel of the warm sand between my toes relaxes me.

Sitting on the beach with a smoothie in my hand, I stare out at the endless ocean. I feel at peace here.

"Hey you."

I turn at the sound of his voice, a smile on my face as he walks towards me carrying our baby.

"Hey baby. Did he just wake up?" I look at the small baby in Harry's arms. He's squirming around but remains quiet. His big green eyes stare at me, making my heart burst with love.

"Well... I kinda woke him up."

"Harry!"

He sits down in the sand in front of me and holds our chubby baby up so that he's facing me. Harry pouts while our baby looks around curiously.

"I'm sorry, but look at his little face! I missed him and he was taking too long to wake up. Don't be mad mama."

I want to be mad, but all I feel is happy. I laugh and take our baby in my arms. "I'm not mad papa, I missed him too." I snuggle the baby close to me and inhale his baby scent. Harry laughs and joins in on the snuggles.

I love my little family.

︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

I wake up with tears streaming down my face. Sitting up, I stare into space trying to remember every last detail of the beautiful dream.

I've been having these dreams for the past week. They're not all the same, but they always have Harry and our baby in it. They always end up happy.

It's better than the nightmares I've been having, but when I wake up, I still feel pain. Pain because I know that these dreams are something that will never happen.

But happiness because I get to see my soulmate again.

I swing my legs over and sit on the side of the bed, trying to calm down. I take several deep breaths before getting up and going to take a shower.

Today is the day of my 10 week appointment and I am extremely nervous.

I haven't experienced any bleeding or anything but I still don't know if my baby is okay or not. I like to think that they're fine, but not knowing is driving me up a wall.

I'm anxious to get in there and see my baby and know that they are okay. Because of my dreams, I feel like my baby is a boy, but I don't want to assume. Honestly I'd be happy with either gender.

After getting ready, I leave my room and knock on the guest room door.

"Liam, are you ready? It's almost time to go!"

"I'll be out in 5 minutes! Go eat!" Rolling my eyes at his muffled response I go down to the kitchen to find something quick.

The day that I called Liam over to surprise Daria, he spent the night with the intention of flying back to New Jersey the next day.

That never happened.

He put it off, and put it off again... and put it off again. Two weeks later and he's still here.

I love that my best friend is here with me everyday, but I constantly scold him because of the work that he's missing. He's essentially, put off the construction to be here with me. He hasn't said it out loud, but I know that he's worried about us and wants to watch over us. Us being Daria, me, and my little bean.

No matter how much I assure him that we're all fine, he doesn't budge.

The rebuilding of his apartments mean so much to him, so I'm going to seriously talk to him later and demand that he go back home.

In the kitchen I grab a banana and a mini bottle of orange juice, since I'm not that hungry. I wouldn't eat at all, but Liam would probably pitch a fit.

As I'm finishing up the banana, Liam finally comes downstairs. I throw away the peel and walk to the door. "You ready?"

He puts on his shades as I open the door. "Yeah, let's go."

We take our own cars because Liam's meeting up with a potential manager for the apartment complex after the appointment. He didn't tell me until last night, and it's pretty weird since I didn't know he was even looking for a manager. I guess he is still doing his job, but it's not hands on.

The car that I was renting is gone, and I decided to buy a permanent car.

I fell in love with this car, and I could picture driving my child around in it. As soon as I saw the car, I knew that it was my car.

Speaking of cars, even though that day was rough for her, Daria is completely in love with her new car. She now drives herself to and from school and I can tell that she loves the freedom.

I bought her a journal to express her feelings because I know that she sometimes feels weird talking to us about it. She writes in it nearly everyday and that makes me feel like at least she's getting some type of help.

As for me, emotionally, I'm doing better. The agonizing pain I felt over my dead husband is still there, but I had to put it in a box and shove it to the back of my mind. For myself, my child, and my family.

I find that I can say his name now without feeling like I'm going to break. I talk to my baby all the time about Harry, even though their ears aren't developed yet. I tell my baby what an amazing man he was and how much he would've loved them.

It's sad, but I want little bean to know who their father was. I want beanie to know everything about their dad.

I close off my thoughts and focus on driving. Feeling hungry all of a sudden, I notice that I have another 10 minutes before it's time for my appointment. I know there's a McDonald's around here somewhere...

Liam is following me to the obgyn, so he doesn't suspect a thing as I reroute to the nearest McDonalds. Thankfully, it's not far away from my doctor.

As soon as the golden M is in view, my phone rings.

I already know it's Liam, but I don't pick up until I'm securely in the drive-thru.

"Hello?" I try to make myself sound as innocent as possible, but Liam is always quick to catch onto my bullshit.

"El, don't even start. This doesn't look like a doctor's office to me."

I roll my eyes and move along in the line; it's almost my turn to order. "Well, I can't help it Li. The baby wants McDonalds."

Liam sighs. "Alright then, but I'm not going to explain to the doctor why we are late."

"Shut up, we're not going to be late."

Finally it's my turn to order and my mouth salivates as I look over the menu. "Hi, can I have a 20 pc spicy mcnugget, a spicy mchicken with extra extra pickles, 4 hash browns, a double hamburger, and a large orange pineapple smoothie?"

"Will that be all, ma'am?"

"Yes."

"Okay, your total is 17.75. Please pull around to the second window."

"Thank you!"

As I pull around, I get out my debit card. For things like this, I try to use my own money that I saved from working at the library. I only use Harry's money strictly for big stuff, like houses or cars. Even then, I feel wrong using his money. I don't know why he left everything to me. I didn't work or earn that money, and everytime I use it, I feel like a certified gold digger. If I were to tell this to the guys back home, they'd probably think I was crazy, but it's just how I feel.

After paying for my food, I put the obgyn address on my gps and set my car for automatic cruise control. Then, I dive in to the delicious greasy goodness.

By the time we get to the obgyn, mind you it wasn't that far away, I have devoured everything except that I still have 6 chicken nuggets left. Patting my bloated stomach, I grab my smoothie and get out of the car.

Liam comes up next to me and holds my hand. "Enjoy your food?" I smile at him, thinking about how good everything tasted. "Yes I did."

"Did you even eat all of that?"

I look at him confused as we enter the building. "How do you know what I ordered?"

We're at the elevator now and I press the button for the second floor. Liam answers my question when we get on the elevator.

"Your hungry ass didn't hang up the phone."

A blush coats my cheeks and tears suddenly well up in my eyes. "Are you calling me fat?"

Liam looks over at me and his eyes widen. "Oh shit, no El, you're not fat honey."

My lip wobbles and I feel like a little kid. "B-but you said-" Liam cuts me off by pulling me into a hug. "You're not fat honey, I was just joking. We always joke like this, El."

Tears blur my vision and I get frustrated. "I know! I don't know why the fuck I'm crying right now."

Liam pulls back and looks down at my pudge. "It's your hormones honey."

I roll my eyes suddenly getting irritated. The tears dry up quickly and I completely ignore what he just said. "The fuck you calling me fat for anyway? I saw you order something too, Liam." Liam's eyes nearly pop out of his head at the sudden switch up, but before he can say anything the elevator doors open.

I storm off toward the door, not caring if he's following me or not.

How dare he call me fat? I'm carrying a baby for fuck sake. I should be calling his ass fat, he's not carrying a damn baby.

I go to turn the doorknob when I'm gently pulled back by my elbow. I yank my arm out of Liam's hold but I do turn around. Crossing my arms over my chest, I wait for him to speak.

"You're beautiful Ellie."

My anger melts away instantly and I hug him. "Liam, I love you."

I hear him sigh in relief and I giggle. "I love you too, honey." His voice sounds weird, but I brush it off and pull away.

"C'mon, I have to go sign in."

We enter the office and I immediately go to the front desk and sign myself in.

"What time is your appointment, dear?"

I look up to see a tall, older man with silver hair. He's dressed in navy blue scrubs and wears a stethoscope around his neck. He looks to be in his early 60's, but he's very fit.

"It's at 11."

He looks at the clock and smiles, making the crinkles around his eyes stand out. "Right on time dear, you and the father can go right on back."

My heart doesn't palpate like it normally would. I don't even bother to correct him. Instead, I look back at Liam and take his hand as the male nurse opens the door for us.

He leads us to an examination room and tells us that the doctor will be here shortly. He then gives us one last look before leaving.

I get comfortable on the table, while Liam stands awkwardly beside me. I laugh at his stiff posture.

"Are you nervous Li?"

"I should be asking you that."

"Well I asked you first, so you have to answer."

He stands there like a robot, but he eventually answers my question. "I'm nervous as fuck. I've never done anything like this before."

"It's okay, Li. I'm new to this as well, but I know that it'll be fine. Plus you're my best friend and my support. You don't have to do anything, that's what the doctor is for."

He finally unfreezes and gives me a funny look. "You mean I don't have to hold your legs up while she looks around up in there?"

The question catches me off guard and I burst out laughing. Liam's cheeks tint pink, and I know he honestly has no clue, but seriously?

He crosses his arms at me and pouts. "It's not funny."

I try to kill my laughter, but giggles pour out. "I'm sorry Li. No, you won't have to do that." Liam just huffs and sits down in a chair, away from me. His behavior just makes me want to laugh harder, but I hold it in.

As I'm calming down, there's a knock on the door. Dr. Watson walks in with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Ellie how are you?"

I smile back at her, feeling completely comfortable in her presence. "I'm mostly good. This is my best friend that I was telling you about, Liam."

She turns around and Liam stands up. "It's nice to meet you Liam, I'm happy you're here." They shake hands. "I'm happy to be here, Doc."

"Well let's get started, shall we?"

Dr. Watson sits down and Liam comes to stand next to me.

"Now, before we have a look at your baby, tell me how you've been. I didn't miss when you said that you've been mostly good."

I sit up a little before answering the question. "Well, I've been extremely nauseous lately. It's mostly in the morning and the afternoon. The feeling doesn't last long, but when it hits me it hits hard. Sometimes, I can't even eat because I know that it's just gonna come back up."

Dr. Watson frowns as she writes on her clipboard. "Hmm, okay. What else?"

I don't look at Liam as I say the next part. "I've been having really vivid dreams this past week. They're so vivid that I believe that they're reality until I wake up. It's not really a problem, I just wanted to know if it was normal. Also, when I can eat, I eat like a freaking cow on steroids. I feel like I'm consuming way too much food, but I can't help it because I feel like I'm starving."

She nods and continues to write. When she's done, she stands up. "Step over here for me, Ellie. We're going to take your weight, okay?"

I nod, get off the table, and step onto the digital scale. The number I see makes my eyes widen and I instantly feel embarrassed.

Dr. Watson writes it down and tells me I can sit down again. I sheepishly sit on the examination table, feeling self conscious about myself.

"Okay, let's start with the nausea. I will prescribe you some medicine so that it won't be as bad as you're telling me. Hopefully, with this, you will be able to eat when you need to. You have gained 15 pounds in these two weeks-"

Hearing her say it out loud makes me cringe and I completely tune out the rest of what she's saying. I fiddle with my hands and tears well up in my eyes. How could I have gained so much so fast?

I've been eating like a pig, that's how.

I have always been comfortable with my body, but now that confidence is crumbling.

Even though he didn't really mean it, Liam was right. I am fat.

"Ellie?"

I snap out of my pity party to see Dr. Watson and Liam looking at me worriedly.

"Ellie, what's wrong dear?" Dr. Watson looks genuinely concerned and I can't help the tears that fall from my eyes.

"I- I know that I gained a lot of weight, but I can lose it."

Liam grabs my hand and squeezes it and the doctor shakes her head. "No dear, weight gain is fine. Do not try to lose weight because that will only put your baby in danger. Okay?"

I don't want to put my only baby in danger, but I just can't get over how much I've gained.

I just nod and wipe my tears.

Dr. Watson continues and tells me that the vivid dreams are normal, and that I'm starving because of the irregular eating due to the nausea. We talk a little bit longer before she goes to get the ultrasound machine.

When she's gone, Liam hugs me and runs circles on my back. "You're okay, El. You're okay." I just hug him back and fight off more tears.

Liam pulls back a little so that our faces are inches apart. His brown eyes stare into my own with so much emotion swimming in them.

"You're beautiful."

I never know how to accept compliments, so I just try to be jokey about it. This is no exception.

"You're bootyfull too."

Liam scrunches up his face and gently bops my forehead with his own. "El, I'm being serious."

"I-" I'm cut off by Dr. Watson and a nurse with a huge bun walking into the room with the machine.

Liam jerks back from me like he's been burned, but I brush off the action.

As they set up the machine, Dr. W instructs me to lift up my shirt. I do what she says and look down at my pudge. Little bean is getting bigger, as I can tell that my belly is a bit more rounded.

"Okay, the gel will be cold like last time, okay?"

"Okay."

Liam holds my hand again as she presses the wand to my stomach. The gel is literally fucking ice, but I make sure to keep still.

After a bit of moving around, Dr. W points at the screen. "There's your baby."

All of the stress and anxiety melts away as I stare at my little bean, knowing that he's safe. I look over at Liam and he has a look of wonder on his face.

"What is that?" Dr. W mumbles this to herself, but I hear her. My head snaps towards her.

"What's wrong? Is my baby okay?" Fear is the only thing I feel.

Dr. W doesn't answer, she just starts to move the wand on my belly and looks at the screen intently. "Adele, come look at this, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" She calls the nurse over to look at the screen as well and I feel utterly horrible. If something is wrong with my baby, I don't know what I'll do.

"What the hell is going on?!" Liam practically shouts, scaring all three of us.

Dr. Watson just smiles big at him before smiling big at me. Smiling is a good sign, right?

"Ellie, you're having twins!"