When I wake up the next morning, I find myself ravenously hungry, so I decide to cook a big breakfast. Before I go downstairs, I make sure to put on a long sleeved shirt to hide the gauze, along with shorts. I decide to wait on brushing my teeth because I'd rather not taste toothpaste with my food.

I'm going to try to be happier from now on, even if I have to force myself. Fake it till I make it. I have to do something, or else this sadness will consume me. I briefly thought about going to a therapist, but I can't trust any therapist to tell everything to. Plus, I'm not crazy, so I don't even need it.

When I go down to the kitchen, I remember that I never went grocery shopping, so we have no food in the house.

"Ugh!" Trudging over to the refrigerator anyway, I want to see how big it is so I know what it can fit.

When I open the large silver fridge, my jaw drops.

Fresh food, packed to the brim, some practically falling out. "W-what? How?" I'm in a daze as I stare at the fully stocked vessel. Then I notice a yellow sticky note stuck to a carton of orange juice.

I figured you and your sister would be too exhausted to shop, so I picked you up a couple of things! Enjoy. -Mrs.P

Mrs.Prince? Why would she-? When did she-? This is definitely not a couple of things. Then it dawns on me.

Yesterday when I was late meeting her, she was walking out of the house with some bags. I wasn't really paying attention then, but now I know what she was doing.

My emotions overcome me as happy tears trail down my cheeks. I have to send that sweet woman a thank you gift and pay her back for this.

Wiping my eyes, I get out the ingredients I need, and start cooking.

It takes about an hour to cook everything that I'm craving. Just as I'm almost done, Daria sleepily enters the kitchen and plops herself down at the table.

"Ellie, why are you up so early? It's too early to even think, ugh." I smile at her. "I woke up hungry. Plus it's only 5:30, D."

"Only 5:30? My God woman, that baby is turning you into one of those annoying perky people in the morning!" She rests her head on the table and turns to look at me. "Are you human?"

I laugh at her ridiculousness. "Pfft, I'm definitely not a morning person, but I'll wake up at any hour for food."

"Well, I can't argue with that."

"Are you hungry? Everything is almost done."

"Of course I'm not going to say no."

"Alright then." I slide the last french toast onto the rest if the stack. "Done."

Daria walks over to the counter where the food lays, and she immediately grabs a plate and fills it up.

I fill my own plate up with one of everything, along with a mango, banana, pineapple, and cayenne pepper smoothie. Another thing I've been craving.

Daria sniffs at the contents in the blender, makes a face, and speed walks her way to the table.

We eat in comfortable silence and I even get up for seconds. By the time we are done, I am stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Daria goes to get ready for school while I pack up the leftovers in tupperware bowls. After that's done, I go upstairs to quickly get ready.

I do my basic morning routine, and change into denim jeans and black flats. Annoyingly, I find that I can't button my jeans all the way. Huffing, I put my hair in a half up half down style, and grab the car keys.

When I get downstairs, Daria is already ready in her school uniform, looking cute as a button.

"Daria, I love your hair!" She has flat ironed her naturally curly brown locks, and it falls just below her shoulders.

She blushes slightly and touches the straight locks. "Really? Thanks, Ellie."

I throw my arm around her and give her a warm hug. When I pull away, she has a certain look on her face, but I can't figure it out.

"Come on, let's get you to school."

▪︎▪︎▪︎

After I drop Daria off at school, I decide to go home and unpack for real this time. As I pull up, a black car is sitting in our driveway with its lights on.

Fear instantly strikes me as I remember the horrible feeling of being watched yesterday.

Who the hell is this?

I put the car in park, but I don't get out. This time I make sure I have my gun, and that the safety is off. I keep the gun low and out of sight, but I have it pointed straight at the mysterious black car.

The car's lights turn off and the driver's side door opens. I aim the gun, panic making me not care about hiding it anymore, and get ready to shoot.

As I see someone get out of the car, I almost shoot but, stop when I suddenly recognize the person. Getting out of my car, fear is replaced with anger as I stomp my way over to the car.

"You idiot! I nearly fucking shot you!"

Liam laughs and puts his hands up in surrender. "Surprise!"

Rolling my eyes, I put the gun away and hug the tall man. He squeezes me gently and kisses my forehead. When we pull apart, I still wear a scowl on my face.

"I'm happy to see you, but you're still an idiot. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Well that would've ruined the surprise, El. Plus, I told you I was gonna visit once you guys were settled."

I really look at him as he explains his whole surprise plan. Liam has his hair in a messy quiff on his head, and he has a bit of scruff on his face meaning that he hasn't shaved in a couple of days. He's wearing a black Nike hoodie with Jean's and converse.

He looks like the Liam I went to highschool with, except for the hair. As I stare at him, it really hits me, how much I love and quite frankly depend on him. I don't know what I would do without him.

A slow smile spreads across my face, and I throw myself at my best friend for another hug.

He hugs me back, but I can tell he's confused. "Hey, what's this for?"

Tears fill my eyes as I just hold onto him, feeling anchored. "I-I'm just happy to see you is all."

Liam pulls back and catches a tear with his finger. "Hey, now. I know I'm great and all, but no need to cry, El."

I laugh through my tears at his foolishness. "Shut up, it's the hormones."

Before he can respond to that, I take his hand and drag him towards the house. Inside, Liam looks around, nodding approvingly.

"I like it, El."

I sigh out in relief. I'm in love with the house, but it's great that Liam approves as well.

"Um, so, are you hungry?" I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, searching its contents. "Let's see, there's leftovers from breakfast or I can cook some chicken fried rice?"

Liam follows and gently pulls me away from the fridge. "I'll get it. Now go sit down and rest."

I frown at him. "But-"

"Butts are for pooping. Go rest."

"Fine." Grumbling to myself, I reluctantly sit at the table, resting my back on the comfortable chair.

Liam takes out sausage, french toast, hash browns, and eggs. As he reheats them in the microwave, he turns to me.

"Now. You can go ahead and tell me why your wrist is bandaged up."

Shock freezes my mind. My eyes flicker to my wrist to see a little sliver of the bandage sticking out of the long sleeve.

Damn it. How the hell did he even notice that?

Panic grips me when I realize that I can't lie to him. I mean, I could, but he would see right through me.

Running a hand over my face, I suddenly feel very tired. Liam still hasn't said a word. He's waiting patiently, watching me as I have my freakout.

The microwave beeps and Liam takes his food out. Joining me at the table, he continues to watch me and doesn't touch his food.

Sighing, I avoid his eyes as I reluctantly tell him the dark events of last night. Only when I'm finished do I dare look at him.

I'm shaken to my core when I see his tears.

"So, if I didn't call you, you would be dead right now." It's not a question, more like a statement to himself.

Seeing him cry makes me relive the shame from last night, and my throat becomes tight with unshed tears.

He doesn't say anything else after that. Liam just sits there, watching the food in silence.

I can't stand it any longer. "I'm sorry Li. I just... I felt so overwhelmed in that moment and I just wanted to be with him... with my mother."

He slams his hand down hard, nearly making me jump out of my skin. "And what about us, Ellie? What about your child? Daria? How do you think that poor child would've felt if she found you like that?!"

The shame feels raw now, like rubbing salt into a wound.

"I know, Li! I- after she knocked on the door, I snapped out of it! I realized everything you are saying. I realized how selfish I was being! But damnit, I'm not okay Liam. I feel so far from okay! I feel so detached from myself, as if I'm walking underwater with no way to breathe. It wasn't supposed to be like this! I wasn't supposed to be alone-!"

By now, I'm a blubbering mess of tears. And even that is exhausting. Liam is on me in seconds, gripping my shoulders and shaking me.

"You are not alone! You are not alone! You. Are. Not. Alone. Fuck. You're the only one I have left El. I can't loose you too." His voice starts out as a yell but gets quieter by the end of his sentence. Eventually, he pulls me and I collapse into his hug.

"You are not alone."

"I know."

"I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me."

"Okay."

▪︎▪︎▪︎

We stay in that position for a while until I truly do believe him. Until I remember that I have plenty of people that are still alive who love me

When we do finally pull apart, we look at each other and laugh. Our thoughtless giggles releasea some of the tension. We try to speak of lighter topics, even though the dark cloud remains overhead.

As Liam eats his warm-ish food, I interrogate him on our family back in New Jersey.

"How are Josie and the twins?"

"They're good, getting real big and crawling everywhere. Josie's going stir crazy since Zayn won't let them go anywhere."

I smile just imagining the twins getting into all sorts of mischief. "You know, I'm their god mother, but I'm doing a rather sucky job of it. Wait a minute, you said that Zayn won't let them go anywhere?"

Liam nods. "Yeah. We still don't know who or what did that on that day, so it's a safety precaution."

That day. He's talking about my- our wedding day. The day everything went to shit.

In all of my intense grief, I never really thought about who could have done that to us. Now, it's all I can think about. I close my eyes briefly and see his bullet riddled bloody body laying on the hot sand. When I open my eyes again, Liam is carefully regarding me.

"Are you okay?"

"No. But there's something I haven't told anyone."

"What is it, El?"

"That day, on the beach, when I found H-" I try to be strong and say his name, but pain prevents me. I try again. "When I found him on the beach, his body was shot full of bullets. What happened was not an accident."

Liam's eyes widen, but he continues to eat while watching me.

I sigh in exasperation. "What is it?"

"I'm trying to figure out if you can handle this conversation, or if I should just keep my mouth shut."

I lift my chin a little and try to make myself seem stronger than I'm feeling. "I can handle it."

Liam sighs. "Well, after we left in the limo, the gang stayed behind to clean up. They knew about the bullets and they found remains of a grenade."

I try to breathe normally, like I'm not affected by his words. "What?"

"Yeah. They wouldn't tell me all the details, but it wasn't an ordinary grenade."

"What does that mean?"

Liam sighs again. "Like I said, they won't tell me everything, so I don't know. Technically, I'm not an official member, just someone who's to be trusted."

My mind wants to dissect the information that's been given to me, but I push the urge away. If I really think about that day, I will only suffer from doing so. Instead I just nod my head and move on in the conversation. Plus I know that the guys are doing everything they can to find out what happened.

"So, how are Louis and Ava doing?"

"They're still going strong. Louis wants to tell her about his lifestyle, but he's not sure how it's going to end up."

I roll my eyes. "Well of course she's going to freak out, it's a normal reaction. He needs to tell her before they get too serious."

After my disaster wedding, Louis finally gathered the balls to ask out, his now girlfriend, Ava. She was at the wedding, so she saw everything that happened, but to non gang members who attended, it was just a random terrorist attack. I was happy that she still wanted to be with him, despite everything that happened.

After another hour of talking, Liam suddenly grasps my hand. "It's going to be okay, you know. You are going to be okay."

I put in the effort to give him a real smile. "You're going to be okay too. You're parents would be proud of you, Li."

His cheeks slightly turn pink and he looks down. I know he misses them just as much as I miss my husband, but he won't say so.

Again, I vow to myself to be a better friend and seem like I am happy, for everyone's sake.

"So, I hope you're staying here?"

Liam nods. "I can only stay for the night, because I have a meeting about the construction site tomorrow afternoon."

"Aww. But I'm happy you're at least spending the night. Daria will be ecstatic to see you!"

Before Liam can say anything, my phone vibrates. I laugh. "Speaking of Daria..."

I answer my phone immediately. "Hello?"

"Hey El, I have a question."

"Yes, what is it? Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"No, I'm at lunch with some of my friends."

I sigh in relief. "Okay good. What do you need?"

"Well, Winona's roommate went back home for the night, and she's alone. I was wondering if I could just stay the night with her? Just until her roommate comes back."

I'm surprised into silence. A sleepover, in the dorms? My mind instantly thinks of all the things that could go wrong.

See, the school has dorms for the students, but it's not mandatory to stay there. When we first looked at the school, Daria told me that she didn't want to live in them. Is she changing her mind?

"Ellie, you still there?"

Daria snap me out of my overthinking. "Oh, sorry. Uh, who's going to be there? I know it's not just going to be you and Winona."

"W-well, our other friend Simone, will be there, but that's it I promise!"

"As long as there's no drinking, no boys, and that the night watchman is there... you can spend the night."

She squeals, "Yes! Thank you Ellie!"

"You're welcome, Dar. I'll pick you up after school tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay! Bye!"

Before I can say goodbye back to her, she hangs up. I sit there for a second and realize that Daria is branching off, and trying to be her own person.

I can't blame, nor stop her from doing that.

Then why do I feel so... forgotten?

"Hey, so Daria's not coming home?" Liam asks, his voice quiet like he's trying not to startle me.

"Um, yeah. She's having an impromptu sleepover with her friends. Oh shoot! I totally forgot to tell her that you are here!"

Liam shakes his head. "It's better this way, let her have her fun."

I nod and watch Liam as he gets up and puts his plate in the dishwasher. I guess we'll be having a sleepover of our own.

I wonder what the night will bring?