I don't know why but I felt like my heart was ripped out of me and chewed on. I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her. I tried to convince myself this for weeks now and I already knew how I felt about her kind so why is it that her doing this feels so fucking bad? I was beyond angry with myself, I had no idea what was going on inside me and I was going to lash out.

Let me out my wolf said

I was downstairs now and everyone I walked passed would look at me with concern and worry, mostly with fear. I saw Raven coming towards me from the dinning hall with a slight smile on her face as I was walking by, "hey baby," she greeted trying to touch me but right now I didn't want her near me.

I pulled my hand out of hers and kept walking ignoring her pleading calls going straight to the back. As soon as I was outside and the cool night air hit me I started walking away from the house and as I was I began to shift into my wolf. My nails began to grow and the clothes on my back started ripping off as my bones were shifting into beast mode I've shifted so often that the pain that you normally get when shifting felt like the pressure when you crack your knuckles, two legs turned into four paws and now I was full beast with fur covering all of me.

I was going to my spot on top of the hill where you can overlook the mountains, it was just where our territory ended and from there anyone and anything is fair game. It was my go to spot every time I needed space and a break from everything, it was where I could think and come and talk to them it was where I felt their presence and the only place I could be right now. I got to the top of the hill and sat there looking out into vast open space,

You didn't have to choke her like that my wolf said to me, I knew he was upset but he wasn't that angry with me

"I know I just-" I started trying to figure out exactly why I got so angry with her but I couldn't finish. She was right I did the same thing and more everyday with Raven sometimes right in front of her so why is it when she was with Jack I was ready to beat his ass and end her? Why do I feel so betrayed?

You really need to ask? My wolf asked but it sounded more like sarcasm

"But I don't," I said

Yes you do. We do and it's about time you stop denying it

"I can't" I cried, I can't just ignore the fact that she's what she is. She could've been anything, anything else a god damn fairy if I care anything but human. Every time I remember what she is I see it happening again and she has the audacity to call us monsters? To call me a monster! I don't want to get close to her and I don't want to feel like this about what happened in there especially seeing her tear up like that. It hurt me even more.

Trust your instincts he said

My instincts? My instincts say to mark her and claim her as mine to let everyone know once and for all who she really belongs to only then will they keep their eyes off her. I don't want anyone seeing her like that ever again or anyone's lips touching her skin and her lips on no one else's, no one but mine. The moon goddess gave her to me and it's time everyone knows, the thought of her with someone else sickens me.

You can't just mark her she might reject you considering you two aren't on good terms

Reject me? If she does then she might not even make it to see out the house. Wait, wait, wait, what am I saying? I don't want to mark her, I don't want her. Maybe I'm just thinking this too hard she should be allowed whoever she wants just as I'm allowed whoever I want. I let out a loud and frustrating howl coming from deep within, I was so confused and so lost as to what I should so I laid down on my stomach and place my head on my front paws closing my eyes trying to reach the only people that have ever helped me and gave me all the answers, I needed them right now more than ever.

Later that night I heard a loud howl coming from deep inside the forest, it was pretty loud considering I could hear it from inside the house all the way on the third floor. I had an inkling of who it was and I just sighed, I picked my hair up putting it in two French braids getting ready to sleep though I didn't get much of that, that night.

-

-

-

The day next tow days after that went by pretty slowly if not slower than ever, I was trapped upstairs in my room as usual but this time I felt more alone than ever. It was as if a piece of me was gone and I felt like I was going to need a transplant if not I would die. This all came from my heart and it was sore and the only person coming to mind was Mason. I haven't seen him since he saw what he saw and I missed his sass, his little waves on his head that never stay in that weak ponytail he does, the way all his muscles tense up when I look him in the eye after giving attitude, I miss those beautiful blue eyes and that god sexy smirk. I missed him and he was no where to be found and I couldn't come up to ask Lilly, I swore she knew about the incident I've been feeling on edge about it all, I just ignored it and carried on with my boring days and each night being the hardest to sleep.

-

-

"Hey wake up," Lilly shook me waking me up

I groaned and turned around giving her my back, I literally just fell asleep no more than an hour ago and this girl wants to wake me up already.

"Wake up!" She said louder shaking me more aggressively to wake me

"Come back when it's lunch time," I whined

"I've got something to show you," she said excitedly

"Later" i mumbled I couldn't be bothered right now I was too tired. All night the one thing that kept running through my head was Mason even though he should be the last thing on my mind I couldn't help it. I felt terrible and I wanted to apologize properly for what I did and what I said, even though the things he was saying to me were completely out of pocket I couldn't careless at this point. I just wanted to see him to tell him that I really am sorry for trying to hook up with one of his pack members but he never showed, if it weren't for that heart wrenching howl I heard outside the other night I would've thought he was with the dumbass and I wouldn't have felt so bad.

"It's from Mason" she said her voice low as if she knew he was the person I was thinking of

My eyes opened as soon as I heard his name and my heart raced, in the pit of my stomach I could feel knots forming. I turned back around to face her, "what is it?" I asked

"Can't say it's a surprise " she cooed a smile spreading on her face

I groaned irately and sat up completely "this better be worth it" i said standing up

She giggled and clasped her hands together, "trust me it is"

I told her I was going to shower and change out of my jammies first when she announced the surprise was downstairs I wouldn't want the whole house seeing me like that. I showered and couldn't help but think about what this surprise is, I never thought Mason as the surprise type. Maybe he's kicking me out, that's not very surprising considering how everything went down last night... but - never mind.

I got out the shower and dried myself putting on a black cropped tee and overalls, I put only one of the overall arms over my shoulder and left the other hanging I left my hair out in its wild curly state and walked back out the room seeing Lilly had come back with my breakfast. I sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up the plate she had set on them night stand near me.

"Can I get a hint of the surprise?" I asked her picking up a first spoonful of food

"I don't think that's how surprises work especially for this one," she says "if I give a hint I might as well tell you the whole thing"

"Do it" I urged, I honestly couldn't think of anything Mason could surprise me with right now and my anxiety was getting the best of me, I honestly didn't wanna get kicked out of here...

Silence consumed the room briefly as I ate my food but of course that didn't sit well with me, "is he kicking me out?" I asked bluntly trying my best to not show how much the thought of that bothered me

She looked at me momentarily and frowned shaking her head, "my god Autumn no" she said in surprise "why would he kick you out?" She asked

I pouted my lips slightly, "as if you don't know" I say sarcastically

"Know what?" She asked her brows furrowing looking into me as if she would find the answer written on my forehead

I simply shook my head and said nothing finishing my food while she just stared at me suspect. After eating she took me downstairs and everyone who I passed by greeted me warmly and happily making me feel even more welcome than I've ever been. Why does he keep me hidden from them? We turned to the west wing of the house, Mason never took me to this side this was where the office door was. As we walked down it I could see the office door down the hall and then we stopped in front of a double doored room with tape in the middle covering something. I turned around and saw across from me was another room but it had the same kind of security lock the training studio has.

"What is this? " I asked her confused

She simply smiled and started peeling the tape from off the door and as she did letters appeared one by one I read each

It didn't hit me until the doors opened and I was now stepping foot into a massive design studio. The room was gorgeous the floors made of white marble and the ceiling was all mirror with champagne colored chandeliers that lit up the room like none other and the diamonds on each chandelier twinkled nearly blinding me. The walls were covered in silk material, as we walked down there were mannequins dressed in my latest designs from the show and some of my accessories and shoes were on the walls in a little space cut into the wall just for that and a glass covering them. We entered the main design room and machines and wall to wall of different fabrics and materials. There was racks and racks of clothing just begging and waiting for me to transform them into something gorgeous, cabinets and drawers filled with all the equipment I would ever need and different work stations with their own sketch boards and separating the room from another room was a giant mirror that turned into a sliding door to an office that had all my achievements. My old modeling covers and pictures all around the office framed and my own personal designs that I sketched on the walls as wallpaper, there was a desk and a huge chair behind the desk was a clear glass door leading straight to the heart of the garden. The room was so beautiful and amazing I was lost for words, this was by far the best surprise I could have ever gotten.

"Mason doesn't want you upstairs all alone anymore, he's made this just for you and only for you he calls it Autumns sanctuary he's also said that no one is allowed here without your approval and consent" Lilly said unable to stop smiling at my reaction

I was amazed and this took my breath away, he really did all this just for me? That was the sweetest most selfless thing he's ever done for me. I had to see him now I needed to thank him as well as apologize, my heart ached some more.

"Where is he? Where's Mason I've got to thank him" I asked her wiping the happy tears away

Lilly's happy expression started falling getting more serious, "he's not here, he's gone on a trip" she said

"Trip? With who?" I asked, he didn't tell me he was going to be away

Lilly shook her head, "alone,"

"Is he coming back?" I asked timidly,

"Of course!" Lilly chirped "he's supposed to be back this Friday"

I nodded nodded but couldn't shake the feeling I was feeling inside, it felt like guilt mashed with sorrow. I hated it and I never yearned for his return so much. The first thing I'll do when he comes back is apologize then obviously thank him for this.