"Hudson," I began, feeling my face redden, "We don't need to have this conversation." And if he was going to force this conversation on me, I would certainly prefer that he didn't do it in a public place. I stopped walking.

"Yes, we do," Hudson shot back instantly. His eyes were following his beloved dog, but his words were fully intended for me. "I might've been drunk, but I wasn't blind, princess. You pretty much crumpled when I told you that I didn't date."

He was right. Of course he was. I had even just told Jen that we would sort this out because I was the kind of person who needed closure. But now, faced with the consequence of what I would have to say and all of the things I would have to admit, I wished I had never said anything at all.

"I'm not here to make you uncomfortable by pushing anything on you, but I can't know where your limits are if we don't talk about it," he pressed. "This is all about figuring each other out."

"There are no limits that we need to worry about," I shot back. I could hear all of the things he wasn't saying now. And I hated it. I jammed my hands in my pockets and began walking along the paved path again. Though there was still snow covering the majority of the ground the path was clear and dry. And I couldn't bear to stand still and have him stare at me for another second.

"You're a liar," he said back, almost sounding annoyed now.

"Fine, my limit is that we only continue on with our professional relationship," I stated, but the words felt raw and weak in my throat. It was one of the last things I wanted. Feeling how his mouth had moved against mine, knowing how he tasted had to have changed the way I saw him now. And when he had told me that he had wanted to kiss me for so long it had melted me even more. How could I pretend that it had never happened, that I didn't want more?

"What?" Hudson gasped, no longer pretending to be searching for his dog in the distance. His chocolate eyes stared at me with such intensity that I had to look away.

"It was a drunk kiss, Hudson, not a marriage proposal."

Which was true enough. I didn't have the right to ask him for anything more than what he had given.

"So that kiss meant nothing to you?" Hudson grilled, seeming offended.

I had to forced myself not to flinch at that. It wasn't just the damnation of the words, it was the pain that was laced into each one. I might've tried to hold onto a tough front, but Hudson wasn't having any of it. He might've been the one to say that he didn't date but he clearly wasn't expecting this.

"Nothing means as much to me as my work," I replied, dancing around his words. "You want to know what's going to make me uncomfortable? Knowing that my job is in someone else's hands just because I lost my head and kissed them a few times. What else makes me uncomfortable? Not having the stability of a relationship. I'm not a laid back, easy going girl. I need commitment. I'm putting a lot on the line for this."

"I'm not asking you to put a lot on the line," he argued with a shake of his head. "I'm not asking you to risk anything, that's the glory of no commitment. If it doesn't work out, then who cares? Neither one of us gets hurt, your job stays intact, and we both get laid."

"Excuse me?!" I hissed.

"No, that came out wrong."

"You think this is all about sex?"

"No, princess, I don't. That's not what I meant. It came out wrong, but we get to have everything. We can hang out, we can kiss, we can hold hands if you want. And yes, we can sleep together, but we do it all without running the risk of anything. You can sleep with other people, you can keep working, you can do whatever you want. We're both adults, this shouldn't be this big of a deal."

It was then that I was reminded that his mother was a serial cheater. He wasn't trying to hurt me. He was just trying to protect himself. I could imagine that he had spent months of his life picking up stray pieces that his mother left behind, trying to keep the family together. Connor had destroyed me, I couldn't imagine the carnage if I had a child.

"I would never cheat on you. I've been cheated on, I know how much it hurts. I know what it can do to a person," I whispered, peering up at him through my painted eyelashes. If I wanted any chance of being with him properly I would have to channel my inner Richard. "Hudson, I don't want to hurt you, but I can't be in an open relationship, or just be friends that fuck."

I knew the words were harsh ones before they left my lips, however when I saw his shoulders tighten and his gaze intensify I knew that I had struck something raw.

"This isn't about that," he snapped.

Apparently my psychology skills were not up to par with that of a legitimate therapist. But it was too late now.

"Yes, it is. For both of us. I can't pretend like I'm any better off. Connor hurt me beyond what I thought he could. I don't know when I'll be able to get over it completely."

"Penelope, you don't know my situation," Hudson bit.

"I know, I'm not saying I do. I'm just saying that I can't do this the way you want to," I explained.

"Well, I don't want to give into your need to be in a committed relationship."

"I think that we are coming at this all wrong," I said carefully, trying to backpedal. I had hurt him, I knew that much. Calling him out like that, putting his wound out in the air had stung. And it had hurt me too, but I had done it on my terms. He had confided in me and I had used it against him.

"No, actually, I think you're right," Hudson said suddenly.

"You do?"

"Yeah. This isn't going to work. The best way to move forward now is going back to the way it was. You're my photographer and I'm your talent. That way you don't get your feelings hurt and I don't get tied to someone."

At that I had to take a step back, like he had physically scalded me.

"Hudson-"

"No, you're right," he interrupted. He let out a low whistle causing Max to lift his head and then gallop over at full speed. "I'm glad that we got all of this cleared up. It's getting late and I need to take Max to the groomers. I'll see on the mountain this weekend."