I knew this place so well, it used to be my safe haven. I knew the low lighting and the cheeky bartenders. I knew the smooth music and the sassy waitresses. My index finger was dipping between my lips the moment I got into the bar. My teeth bit down on the nail, chewing furiously as I settled myself beside Jen on one of the bar stools.

"Hey, don't do that," she scolded while flicking her hair over her shoulder. It fell down her back in glorious curls.

But Jen didn't understand the situation I was in. I wasn't like her. I didn't just exude confidence and glamour like she did. I didn't make jaws drop and eyes wander and I couldn't pretend that I was unfazed by the situation that I was in. I was average enough to be ignored by the everyday people around me. Yet, the people that knew me would never forget me.

And this little bar was packed full of people who would never forget or forgive.

"I'm so nervous. We shouldn't be here. We should go to McDonalds or something," I suggested, my eyes flitting around the intimate space.

"Penelope, we aren't going to solve anything by hiding. And look at this new Chanel jacket. Do you think that I could wear something like this to a burger joint?" she asked, smiling with one corner of her mouth.

"This place is crawling with them," I hissed.

"Welcome to Canada. Hockey players are everywhere. The point is that you are a bad bitch who has done nothing wrong. This place serves damn good drinks and you have every right to be here."

"Jen, please," I groaned. "His teammates are like brothers. I don't want to give them any more reasons to come after me then they already have."

"Think of this as the first step to getting your social life back on track." She paused briefly to order us both drinks. I'm sure the bright smile that she flashed the bar tender stunned him for a second before he could regain his sense. She either didn't notice or didn't care because her attention was back on me in seconds. "Besides, you are getting your career back on track, so why not progress in other aspects."

"I guess you're right," I admitted, though the idea didn't sit right with me. This kind of bar wasn't a part of my world anymore. And it certainly wasn't within my budget either.

As I spoke our drinks appeared and I took a heavy gulp, hoping it would help ease the nerves that were making my hands shake.

"So, tell me about working for Rush. It seemed like it all happened over night and we never really had a chance to catch up," Jen pushed.

"It did happen really fast," I agreed, furrowing my brow.

"Why don't you look happy? It's a great thing! They obviously love the work you have done with the snowboarders and they want to keep you on. That means stability and getting to be in those mountains a lot more often."

"Well, I'm kind of on thin ice because I was late for my first real session with them for Rush. My car got stuck on the mountain and it took a few minutes to get it out. The guys I work with may be laid back and casual, but the executive for Rush isn't." I skipped over the part about Hudson saving me, knowing that she would be more than happy to crown him as my newest knight in shining armor. "Plus, my pictures from the magazine haven't even been published yet so they have no idea what kind of work I do. I might've shown them a couple from my camera, but that would be before editing or anything else."

"The two snowboarders asked for you to be their photographer without even seeing the finished product from the previous session?"

"Right? It's totally weird," I gushed, finishing off my beer.

"It could be a really good thing. Maybe your reputation isn't as damaged as you thought," Jen encouraged. She would always be the optimistic one.

"Maybe," I agreed, smiling a little when the bartender pushed another beer towards me.

If good looks, a goddess like personality and a love for all things weren't enough Jen also had an incredible ability to drink. And with her buying all of the alcohol I didn't feel the need to say no. By the time Richard came to pick us up I had lost track of how many drinks I had and I struggled with walking in a straight line. A while ago I had been anxious but now I was laughing so hard I was snorting.

But Richard was more than patient with both of us. I could remember the way he wrapped one arm around each of us and guided us to his massive SUV. We both giggled like children when he helped us into the back seat. There he made sure that we had access to water and crackers. Jen pleaded for chicken nuggets and Richard didn't even argue. Once we went through the drive through he took me to my apartment complex and waited until I was inside the building before leaving.

I was just thankful I made it to my apartment on my own. It did take me a while to unlock the door though.

I was humming to myself as I kicked off my shoes, not even noticing the second pair of men's shoes already on the mat. All that I cared about was devouring my chicken sandwich and swaying my hips to a song that didn't exist.

He saw me before I saw him when I entered the kitchen.

"Have a good night out?" he asked.

"Jesus Christ Connor," I gasped, leaning against the counter for support. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Are you drunk?" he pressed, carefully loosening the tie at the base of his throat.

"Maybe a little," I confessed, staring at my handsome fiancé. Damn, I had forgotten how good looking he was. And I had forgotten just how those strong eyes could pin me.

"I've heard that your business is doing better." He took a small step closer to me.

"It is," I agreed, tossing out the wrapper from my food.

"That's great baby," he whispered, still moving towards me. His voice was low and gravelly.

I don't know how it happened. I don't know how I let it happen. One moment I was focused on my food, the next he was using his body to push me against the marble countertops that I had picked out myself. And feeling his familiar warmth while my head was filled with alcohol made me want to cry as waves of memories crashed into me.

I loved him so much. I had wanted to give him everything. He was my whole world and I wanted him to be my future. When I lost him I had lost so much of myself.

"I've missed you sugar," he murmured into my hair.

"I miss you too," I whimpered. My hands clung to the fine material of his suit jacket. I tucked my head against his chest, hoping it would steady the swaying world around me. But when I breathed in his cologne it only made me dizzier. Touching and holding all these things that I knew so well was placing me in an ocean of confusion.

Then, a finger curled under my chin, lifting my head. When I blinked my eyes, trying to clear the blur, I saw him watching me so closely. Then, his eyes fluttered shut and he moved towards me. I closed my eyes just as his lips met mine.

He tasted the same. His tongue swept against mine in a way that I could recall so easily. And his hands found their way under my flimsy top like they always did. And, in this place of disruption and unrest, it was magical to feel him, to know what was coming. I had known him for so long. I had given up my dreams to make sure that I could be everything he needed. And now I was what he needed.

But his lips moved away from mine. I let out a whimper of protest and moved to kiss him again. He stopped me but smiled at the gesture.

"God I want you Penelope," he growled out.

"I want you too," I mewed without a thought. I needed him. the consequences could wait until I was sober.

"Tell me something baby, did you stop taking your birth control after we broke up?" he asked.

I nodded my head, still trying to kiss him again.

"Perfect," he moaned. "I want to have a baby with you, Penelope."

And that was enough to make me feel very sober despite all of the heat and desperation that surrounded me.

"What?" I slurred.

"Right now. I want to have a baby with you. I want to make love, Penelope."

His eyes were half closed and he was keeping a firm hold on my body, holding me against him. I could feel every breath on my skin. I could almost hear his heartbeat and taste his desire.

But no amount of sensuality, closeness, or drunkenness would make me forget what he said.

He had never wanted kids. Neither had I.

And now that I was drunk and vulnerable it was all he wanted.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, that sexy edge falling away when I disentangled myself and grabbed my cell phone.

I ignored him and quickly pounded in three simple numbers.

"Get out," I ordered.

"Penelope, don't be unreasonable . we both want each other, right? That's all this is. You'll love it. you know that I can make you feel good."

"Get out. You have three seconds before I put this call through. Then, I'll make sure the cops take you out of this apartment in handcuffs."

Connor's eyes darkened. "You wouldn't."

"Try me," I warned. "Imagine what that would do to your fucking reputation."

And with a heavy sigh the entitled man admitted defeat.

For now, at least.