Without opening my eyes, I already knew they were puffy from crying last night. I squinted my eyes open to see that I was still hugged up to Zeus. His head was leaning on top of mine while his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.

I didn't move, I just laid there, not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed...or maybe I just didn't want to leave Zeus's side.

I felt him move under me as he began to wake up. His eyes opened and blinked a couple of times before focusing on his surroundings. I've never seen him look so relaxed before. He didn't look hard or emotionless. As weird as it sounds...he just looked like a regular guy waking up, a regular guy with god like features, but still... I liked it.

He looks down at me, I felt his fingers run through my hair as he asked, "You okay?" I felt my heart sky rocket when I heard his voice. Oh no...he's got that sexy, raspy, 'I just got up' voice.

He runs his own fingers through his own hair and my heart only kept racing as I looked upon his beautiful and sexy bed hair where it's so messy and unorganised...and freaking perfect. It was so different to the picture in the locket I still had around my neck. He was so stiff and serious in that photo, but seeing him here, he looked so different!

Memories of Leah, invaded my mind. I shook my head, "No, I'm not okay."

He turns over so than he was fully facing me, "It's okay to not be okay."

I looked down between us and I saw our hands interlaced, "I just feel so responsible."

Zeus sighs, "If you're responsible, then I am as well. Nikolai is doing this to you because he knows that you're my-" He suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

I raised my gaze, "I'm your what?"

He looked at me intensely with his glowing green eyes. His eyes left mine and was instead set upon our connected hands. He ran his thumb over my hand and said quietly, "Because he knows that you're my weakness."

I gulped, not knowing how to process such a thing, I rolled my eyes, "You mean because I'm your curse-"

He interrupted me firmly, "No. It has nothing to do with the fact that you can break my curse...you're so much more than that to me."

"I am?"

He stared at me like I was stupid. He shook his head and snickered while exhaling a small breath, "Yes, Lily, you are. I know that I'm an asshole but-"

"You are," I agreed.

I smirked when he gave me a pointed look before continuing, "I know I'm an asshole but with you just being who you are...you've somehow broken down my guard...and I didn't even know it."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how I was supposed to react. I've never been in such a situation where Zeus looked kinda vulnerable...willingly.

But I was scared. Was he tricking me? I could never know with Zeus, he was hot and cold all the time I couldn't keep.

I sat up and stood from the bed. Zeus straight away follows my action. I shook my head, "I can't do this."

Zeus stands from the bed without breaking eye contact. I took a step back and said, "I don't know if this is your plan or not. But I'm not going to fall for it. I'm not going to be fooled that easily."

I watched closely to Zeus as he slowly made his way around the bed, "You've tried to beat me down. You've reduced my value to nothing. I'm not anything significant to you. YOU are the one that made that clear to ME."

Zeus continued to take steps toward and with each step it became harder to breath, "I'm not going to be fooled, Zeus. This is all a part of your plan, I get it, okay? Just please stop playing with my emotions. I get confused."

"I did have a plan," Zeus said, "But it was already doomed to fail as soon as my eye laid on you. I didn't want to admit it, but it was,"

My breath comes out shallow as Zeus stops right in front of me. He looks down from his hulking height. He brings his hand up and cups my cheek, stroking with his thumb, he mumbles under his breath, "I should've known."

I ran my hands up his chest and whispered, "Known what?"

He pulls me close to him until there was no space between us as all. He cups the back of my neck firmly and said as he stared at my lips, "That you are my undoing."

Zeus's lips touches mine in such a gentle and savouring action. I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Our lips move in sync as if they were made for this very purpose. I've never felt so much emotion held in one simple action. I felt completely alive with him. I couldn't get enough.

There was a small opening of clarity as we were both lost in this sexual haze. What are you doing, LILY! I guess there was definitely some sexual tension between us for a while. I think we both just kinda let loose now that we had the chance.

A knock sounded at the door, Zeus growls in anger and separates our lips. He rests his forehead against my own.

"Who is it?" Zeus shouts.

"Zeus, we need you to look at something." Sozin said from the other side of the door.

Zeus groans in annoyance. He stands back and he stares at me, taking in every detail of my face. It felt like he was standing there for hours, staring when he finally looked away.

"I'll be there soon." He shouts without breaking our eye contact, "I'm gonna go have a cold shower now." My eyes automatically zoomed at his crotch and they were in shock as I saw a very big reaction from him. Holy Mother of Pearl!

He turns around and casually strides to the shower without saying a word. As soon as he shut the door. I had my own silent freak out. I sank to the ground in shock. I couldn't believe what just happened. Zeus kissed me. What does this mean for us? Does it mean as much to him as it does for me?

My head was on a high from feeling his lips against mine. It felt primal and instinctual. It felt so dominating...is it bad that I kinda liked it? But then thoughts invaded my mind, thoughts of what this all means. I didn't know where this left us. I was more confused as ever, but then I'm not at the same time. I don't know how that is possible but it is. I sighed and closed my eyes. I just hope that everything that was said was real and that I'm not the fool of the story.

I shook my head, I can't of that right now. Right now, I just need to get through this day without breaking down. Leah entered my mind and I felt all ounce of happiness leave me as I was only reminded of the predicament I found myself in.

A knock sounded at the door. I got off the bed and walked casually to the door and opened it, but no one was there. However, a reeking stench had immediately slammed into my senses. My face scrunches in disgust as I looked down at the source of smell. I felt myself become pale.

There was a giant bouquet of white lilys...drenched in blood. I took a step forward to quickly look down the hallway. I gasped in fright as I saw one of guards lying on the floor dead. His head was half severed off, blood was leaking out over the hall floor. I looked closer and gasped when I saw it was Jeremiah. NO no no no no no!

"Zeus!" I shouted out.

I heard the door to the bathroom burst open, "Lily?!" Zeus shouts I hear him running out of the room and he almost crashes into me, but stopped in time. I couldn't move, I couldn't stop looking at his face. He was dead because of me. Because I couldn't handle being a vampire. I should've just transitioned! Then all of these good people would still be alive!

Zeus looks down at the body then back up at me. He was shirtless, but wore some loose pants. He cups my face, "Don't look at him, Lil."

But it was like my eyes were a magnet to the dead body. Because I was the cause. Zeus forces my gaze to look up at him, "Don't look, Lily. You'll only fee worse."

I just silently nodded my head. Zeus steps back around the body and growls, "Fuck!" I heard Zeus shout in anger. He grabs the bloody flowers and throws them away, the blood whipping off and splattering on the walls. Red. So red.

"Stop." I said quietly.

Zeus couldn't hear me. He was pacing and swearing as he was picking up the flowers and ripping them to pieces. His hands getting stained with Jeremiah's blood. Innocent blood.

"Stop it!" I yell.

Zeus snaps out of his haze and looks at me. He looks at my face and his own angry expression falls. He comes to me, but I took a step back, not being able to stop staring at his red hands.

Zeus looks down at himself and sighs, "Go back to the room, Lily. I'll get people to come and clean this up as well as myself."

"Jeremiah is not just something to clean up, Zeus! He was a good person!" I shouted.

Zeus raises his hands in surrender and spoke softly, "You're right. He was a good person. He was a good person. He was a good mate and father,-" But Zeus stops himself when he released unknown information.

I physically winced. He had a family. And now he's dead. His child will grow up without a father and his mate could kill herself.

I cupped my hand over my mouth and said, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

I sprinted to the bathroom and released all of the content in my stomach. I felt weak, weak with guilt and responsibility. I took a deep breath to try and calm my heart. I couldn't believe that this was happening.

Zeus comes into the bathroom. He steps forward, attempting to help me but I held my hand up to stop him, "Just leave me, please. I need to be alone. I need to think."

Zeus stood there with worry in his eyes. He nods his head and said, "I'll check up on you later. If you need anything, I'll be in my office." I heard him leave.

I shook my head. I've never experienced such gore in my life. Seeing a man's head nearly cut off. It was horrific. The image was stained in my memory. Nikolai knew that I would feel responsible for all of their deaths. He's trying to make me crack. Trying to make me weak. He knows I am naive and innocent because of lack of sight through my years. I looked up at the sky and saw the moon. It was shining bright.

She was on my side. The moon goddess was helping me. I growled lowly, he will not break me down. I stood up on shaky legs and held my shoulders back. I'm not going to let him win. I gulped and walked out of the bathroom and back out of the hall. I was relieved to see that Jeremiah's body was covered with a white sheet, but it still was stained with crimson.

I marched down the stairs and into the library to do some research. I'm going to find the flower of Esme.