You're drunk. I can smell it from here. I locked myself in the bedroom because when you're drunk, and it pains me to admit it, I'm scared of you. I never know what you'll do. But right now you're sat near the bedroom door, begging me to come out.

You went out today, didn't you, Gerard? You were gone when I woke up, without so much as a call, a note or a kiss goodbye. And you were gone all day. I tried to call, but you left your phone behind.

Why are you so determined to keep secrets from me, dammit? Are you cheating on me? Do you have some strange new addiction that you won't tell me about? I know you're drinking again, a habit you've never been able to control - what about the drugs? The pills? And I swear to God, if you're taking cocaine again -

It hurts me when you cry. I can hear you crying. But my body won't let me go and throw my arms around you and promise that it's all gonna be okay. I want to, Gerard. Believe me, I do. But after so long of you not letting me touch you...

I don't know where the first letter went. I left it on your pillow but it was gone when I came back. Did you take it? Did you read it? You won't tell me, will you? No. You won't.

I'll leave this one in the same place, okay? And I'm gonna go comfort you, whether you like it or not.

I love you, Gee.

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