"...a mother will become anything

if her child's life is threatened..."

It is not possible for my mind to be at peace anymore. It's in turmoil with only one thought eating at me. Keira. I can't go on like this without reaching the brink of madness. I have been selfish in many moments of my life without being bothered. This time with Keira, it feels different. I can't just walk away from this. It's one of those things Tony would compare to kicking a puppy. It is cruel to kick a puppy. Everyone friend at that. Kei is the puppy and by turning my back on her, I'm kicking her. I can't live with myself. The guilt is too much.

When I met Kei, I had no idea this how things would play out for us. If I had foreseen this, I wouldn't have pursued her. What was I thinking? Was I thinking? So many consequences have resulted from my actions. It made Margaux more aggressive and determined to be a problem. It made Jason more abusive towards Kei. It cost me my job, the only thing I have out my sweat and blood into. I'm an alcoholic in the making no matter how many times I tell myself I'm not. Now she's in jail because Mancini is after me.

I won't be able to live with myself if I don't do anything.

"I would like to speak to Detective Rowland."

I never thought I'll ever walk into this place willingly. I guess there's a first time for everything.

"He's right behind you." She pointed at the man staring at me like I'm a Christmas present tucked under the tree. This must be his happiest day.

"Detective Rowland."

"That's formal! What happened to Timmy?"

"I'm not in the mood." I told him in a flat tone. "Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"My office." He led the way. "Have a sit. What can I do for you?"

I took a moment to think this through.

One, I'll get arrested.

Two, I'll lose Maddie.

Three, I will lose my freedom for nothing less than 20 years.

Is she worth it?

Yes.

I love her.

This is the right thing to do.

Fuck love for making me this weak.

"I killed Jason Burke."

He looks pale, wife eyes, almost like he will pass out any second now.

"You're just admitting this? Without a lawyer? Just like that?"

I shrugged.

"Is this a game you're playing? Is there a catch? Is it a ploy to embarrass me?"

"I killed Jason Burke." I repeated.

He can't believe it. The man hounds me for a confession and when I do, he can't believe me?

"Sit there. Don't move." He hurried out.

A few hours ago...

"What does he want?" I asked Russo in a solemn tone.

"He wants you to confess to Jason's murder."

"How can I confess to something I didn't do? They will ask for details... details I dint have!"

He passed me a sheet of paper. "Memorize everything. Repeat it to the detective."

"What does Mancini have to gain from this?"

"I'm not Mancini. I can't answer that."

"You know something Russo, one day I will make both of you pay for this."

"I'm looking forward to that day."

As soon as I finished studying the sheet of paper, he snatched it from my hand.

Presently...

He has been gone a while. I didn't tell my father I'm leaving. I snuck out. I knew they wouldn't let me go. They don't understand how hard it is for me not to help Kei. I want to be her hero even if I'm doomed to lose my cape.

He came back with a sealed bag. Fitz, the man he is always with joined us.

"This was on my desk last night. They are still running ballistics on it but it does not hurt to ask you." He unsealed the evidence. It's a gun. My gun. The gun that was not in the safe and up till now I'm wondering how it got out of the safe. How did it end up in police custody? I know who is behind this but who are the little pawns being moved around? "Is it yours?"

"Yes."

"Will we find your prints on this?"

I took a moment.

One, I'll get arrested.

Two, I'll lose Maddie.

Three, I will lose my freedom for nothing less than 20 years.

"Yes."

"Again, do you want to call your lawyer?"

"No. I murdered Jason Burke."

"How? How did you do it?" He narrowed his eyes at me. "When did you do it?"

"It was a Wednesday night. I was drinking. I'll give you the bar address so that you can confirm it. He came in and he threw a fit about my relationship with Kei. I'm not known for being peaceful. I have a short fuse. When I'm drinking, it gets shorter. He talked about Kei. He had no right to mention her after he almost killed her. We got into a physical confrontation. We were separated and I left."

"Where did you go?"

"Nowhere. I sat in my car and I waited for him to leave the bar. I followed him to the Ballard compound. I didn't go in. I waited outside."

"Did you hear shots fired?"

"I was blasting metal rock in my car. I couldn't hear anything. I waited until he came out. I jumped him, tied him up and out him in the trunk of my car."

"Which car were you driving?"

"I don't remember. I was high."

"You don't remember the car you were driving?"

"I have one too many. Some have never even been driven."

"After abducting him, where did you take him?"

I left him in the trunk as I tried to think about what I can do to punish him. When I got him out of the trunk he said he would kill Keira. I snapped and shot him."

"How many times?"

"Three."

"Where?"

"To the chest."

"What did you do with his body after that?"

"I waited it out. The next day after Kei left, I buried it in the compound."

"Where did you bury it?"

"Next to the barn, under a willow tree."

They looked at each other. "What was the plan? To incriminate Keira?"

"No. I intended to move the body later on but I was high out if my mind for the days that followed. It was a sloppy mistake."

They looked at each other. "Excuse us." They left me.

They have to believe me. If I'm not arrested and sentenced, Kei doesn't get out.

"I dont buy anything he's saying. I just don't.'

"Isn't this what you wanted? A confession from Nick? He's confessing!"

"The details are correct. His timing is right. What he's saying is all correct except for one thing."

"What?"

"He's not the shooter." I grimaced.

I badly wanted it to be him but it is just not adding up. Nickolas Bale is not sloppy. That bastard is as conniving as they come. The master of mind games! Sloppy, no. He's not. He's too smart for sloppy and he loves her too much to make that mistake. He knows the story probably detail after detail but he did not shoot Jason Burke."

An officer came to us with a sheet of paper. He gave it to Fitz. I leaned it to look. "Ballistics just came through. The gun belongs to him and his fingerprints are on it."

"The riffle has Keira's fingerprints. But the trajectory of the bullet was of a shooter who is 6'1. Keira is 5'8. She's not the shooter. She hadn't confirmed or denied it."

"When are you releasing that information to her lawyer?"

"When I get to the bottom of what is going on here."

"So should Nick be arrested for murder?"

On any other day, I would say yes! But something is just not adding up.

I returned to him.

"Mr Bale, you are free to go."

His eyes narrowed. "Why? I killed Jason Burke. You should be arresting me!"

"Go home."

"Timmy! I did this! Kei had nothing to do with it! I should be behind bars. Arrest me and let Kei go."

"The justice system doesn't work like that. The riffle that shot Jason Burke before you did has Keira's fingerprints. Her clothes were found with gunpowder residue from that riffle. Even if her shot may not have killed Jason, she still shot him and will he prosecuted for it. As for you, I don't buy your story. Go home."

Mancini would not be happy about this.

I have to get arrested today.

I grabbed my gun and shot his arm. It went through. As he yelped out in pain, I dropped the gun. I got down on my knees and put my hands behind my bed. I got cuffed. When Fitz pulled me up I stopped beside Timmy. "It's not personal."

Daddy says there are two types of people in a confrontation.

Fighters and runners.

Keith had always been the fighter. He never shoes away from a confrontation. His unusual strength is a plus for him. I'm a runner. I know how to run fast in the opposite direction from conflict.

But when enclosed in a prison with nowhere to run, there's only two types of people. Fighters and victims. The latter is not a problem to me. I hate fighting so I would rather be a victim. However, when a woman is pregnant and she has to protect her baby, there's one type of person she can be. A fighter. That is what I'm doing right now.

It's in the middle of the night. Moon has been coming on strong. It's not just the remarks but an obvious expression of intimacy between us. I don't see that happening unless I'm a corpse. She snuck into my bed tonight. She thought I would be easy prey until I elbowed her in the face and palmed her nose so hard that I drew blood. That is when things got ugly.

It seems there is a section of women in this prison who don't like Moon and they happiness came together in my support. Perhaps we all need to blow off some steam. It doesn't matter because the guards are here. The alarms are blaring. We are all getting taken down. I don't wish to be tackled. I lay down on the floor before I got asked.

I will fight now more than ever because there's an innocent life relying on me to keep it safe.

The runner can be a fighter if properly motivated.