"...some people create their own storms

and then they get mad when it rains..."

N

There's something I dread. It's in the words: we need to talk.

I don't like those words. It has a lot to do with Helena and my father using those words whenever I mess up. For them, correcting me means sitting down for a very formal discussion. I hate it. While Helena talks like a ruthless CEO who isn't afraid to cut her losses, my father sounds like an Admiral running a tight ship. He speaks with nothing but authority. The problem is that I hate to be bossed around. Helena and my father are bossy. I'm bossy. So it never ends well.

When she got me released, she said we will talk. It's been two days. She didn't say when and she's doing this on purpose so that I'm tormented to beg for her time. I don't beg. I won't. I'm comfortable with the standoff. No I'm not. I'm not comfortable with the standoff. I haven't slept all night. Margaux is still vexing me but I know better now. I won't engage her. She has already filed for full custody of Maddie and she is claiming that I'm physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Im trying my best to stay away from her and that includes my daughter because she won't come near me. Margaux has filled her head with lies.

At a time like this, I miss Gio and believe it or not my mother. Gio doesn't do 'sit down, let's talk'. He takes a casual moment to teach me something. If I mess up, he will find a way of correcting me without making a big fuss or shouting at me. I love my grandfather more than I love everyone else. We get along. My mother does not let anything go unsaid. When I was a child, she would correct me even before I make a mistake. Her way us pointing her finger at me, an overuse of hand gestures, shouting and fast speaking. But when she's done, she's done. She moves on. I miss those two.

"You will burn a hole in the carpet if you keep that up." Lupe addressed my pacing. "It's odd to see you around at this time of the morning... wearing pajamas." Her eyes noted the half empty bottle of whiskey. "And possibly drunk?"

"I'm not drunk."

"Still, you're drinking in the morning." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I needed something to take the edge off. Why am I even explaining myself to you?" I filled another glass.

She held my wrist to keep me from raising the glass. "Because I know you. Have you forgotten we have been around each other for 15 years? I know you drink when you are upset. Half of the bottle is gone in a span of two hours. Three bottles of whiskey in a day. Nick, you are crossing a dangerous line. Stop."

She took the bottle but I gulped down the glass before I surrendered it.

"My life is crashing and I can't stop it from happening. I'm trying but it's all slipping through my fingers."

"Let's talk about it."

I sat at the foot of my bed. She sat beside me. Lupe and I don't exactly get along. We have really good moments when we are the best friends. Then we have moments when we fight over trivial things. It's unheard of for a boss and a housekeeper to argue but Lupe isn't just a housekeeper. She has made herself a permanent member of my family. I can't get rid of her but she still expects a salary at the end of the month. We just make it work.

"Helena is pissed! She did not say anything to me but the words we need to talk. I'm still waiting. It's driving me crazy. I have a lot to lose Lupe." I gazed at her. "Bale Industries is everything to me. I know nothing else and if I lose... I don't know. Then there's Margaux. She's accusing me of assault. She has proof. I have never out my hands on her. It was that one time, a day ago when I squeezed her neck. Otherwise I have never touched her!"

"Of course you haven't. You have a hot temper but you don't hit women. If you did I would be the number one casualty because I annoy the hell out of you." We both laughed for w moment.

"Maddie. What happening? It feels like she's somebody else's kid and not mine. She saw me come home and she ran away. What is she telling my daughter?"

"I don't know. Honestly, she's being weird with me too. She's always with her mother. I don't know what she's being told but she's not friendly with me either." She paused for a moment. "What about this other woman? Tell me about her."

I smiled almost to a blush. "She's perfect."

"Aha... that word can't describe humanity but fine. Let's lead with that."

"She's wonderful. She's a sweetheart. She's like sunshine. She has this warmth to her that is endearing. She's kind. She's thoughtful. She's gentle. She's everything Margaux isn't."

"But she's another man's wife."

I lost my smile. "Her husband deserves to die."

"And who made you judge, jury and executioner?" She asked me.

"You don't understand. He almost beat her to death. He wrapped her up in a carpet and he was going to dump her, heaven knows where. I got there just in time." I expressed my bitterness. "So I heat the shit out of him. I did it for me and I did it for her. I took her away. He pressed charges against me for breaking and entering, aggravated assault and kidnapping his wife. That's why I got arrested."

"Dio! Your life has really taken a turn, hasn't it?"

"It has. I don't leave for scandals. Sure, I don't mind a juicy scandal but I'm not doing this on purpose. I didn't look for Kei. She walked up to me. She came into my life and unfortunately, I noticed her. And from that moment when my heart skipped that first beat, things changed. I didn't wake up that morning with a plan to have an affair with a married woman. I didn't wake up with a plan to beat up her husband. It was a day like any other until she came to the site and then things escalated really fast! I don't have control anymore. I am madly in love with her and I'll do anything for her. Absolutely anything."

Lupe faced the fireplace in front of the bed. A portrait of Maddie and I hangs above it. It's from the day she was born. I love my daughter and she was the only person who used to matter to me. Now there's one another on my list and it's like I'm gaining one and losing the other. Each with a consequence.

"I'm afraid of the hold she has over you. You are a man who exercises full control. For you to sound and feel this unhinged worries me because when you fly, you soar above the clouds. But Nickolas, what happens when you fall from the clouds? That is the part I'm scared of. I don't know this woman. She sounds wonderful but things on your end are not wonderful. You're life is indeed crumbling and you are at a point you need to decide what to save. Your career? Your love interest or your daughter? Because at this point, you can only have one. What will you choose?"

She kissed the top of my head and left with tbe bottle of whiskey.

I fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

What will I remain with when it all ends? What will be left?

"You don't have to do this Bruce. I'll be okay."

"It's fine. I don't mind." We both got out of the car. We are in my neighborhood. After leaving the station last night, we went back to his place. He insisted and I didn't want to be alone. "What are friends for?"

He placed his arm over my shoulder. He does feel like a friend. It never feels this way with Cole. Things are still a little awkward between us. I leaned into him feeling strangely safe.

"Thank you."

He blushed a little. "Who lives here?"

"My best friend. She hasn't been answering her phone. I just need to check on her." I looked over my shoulder at the house across the street. That is where I used to live. "I used to live over there." I pointed at the house.

"Is it hard for you to be here?" He asked me.

"Sort of. I have been chased down this street once. He was carrying a baseball bat. I was wearing a nightgown. I was screaming but none if these damn people came out to help. Except for Lorraine. She came out in a bath robe, bare foot and ready for war." I chuckled.

I like that Bruce is a good listener. He doesn't say anything about what I tell him. He only asks questions and nods. That's it.

"Lorraine Hall?" He asked me. "Brunette with electric blue eyes?"

"Oh yes!" We approached the door. "Do you know her?"

"Yes. It's a small world."

"What do you mean?" I rang the bell.

"If she hasn't told you then I'm not sure I should."

"Okay." I rang the bell again and again before I lifted a rock to take the spare key. "There's no spare key. There's always a spare key. This is weird. Hold on. I'll call her. Her number rang for a while and then the voicemail told me it's full. I don't think she has been checking her phone. "No response."

"Should we go in?" Bruce asked me.

"I guess. It's not breaking and entering if she's my best friend, right?"

"I have 'borrowed' a lot of Nick's stuff so technically,if the person is your best friend it's not a crime." He chuckled and started working on the lock. I watched and in seconds, the lock clicked. "Why don't you wait out here?"

"Okay." I stepped back. He opened the door slowly and walked in. He's walking quietly, his boots gentle on the floor. From where I'm standing the house seems fine. Lorraine doesn't own much. She calls herself a minimalist. Her living room has a TV, a coffee table and one sofa. I bought her a rug to warm up her space of white and grey. She doesn't keep anything personal around like photographs. Not even of herself or Terrence. Her house is impersonal.

"Come." Bruce invited me in.

"It does look like anyone has been home for some time." I ran my finger over the dusty coffee table. There's a tea cup in the sink and the tea has some mold growing in it. She really hasn't be Len around. "What if she moved out and we are breaking and entering."

"Don't worry your pretty head. What proof do they have that we are here? Don't touch anything." He slipped on a pair of leather gloves. He opened the closet. "Yup. She's gone."

I peeked inside to see it empty. There's nothing, not even a hanger. I immediately hurried to the room Terrence sleeps in. The crib is still here. It's still made with the white sheets. The little stuffed giraffe that Terrence loves is on the floor. I picked it up with sadness eating away at my heart. I looked at Bruce. "Where did she go?"

"I'm my professional experience, it looks like she left suddenly. She had no time to move furniture, just necessities. Was she in trouble with anyone?"

"Lorraine is a closed book." I answered. "She only opens chapters she wants to show. I don't know anything about her other than her two names, that she has a son, takes martial arts classes, likes to hit the gym and goes to law school. Beyond that, nothing."

"She sounds like a mystery. Let's check her school. Where was she going?"

"Yale."

"Let's go."

"I better get that back buddy!" I told the man who has taken my favorite knife.

"What do you want?" Russo asked me.

"What a warm welcome!" I'm outside the mansion. "Won't you invite me in?"

He scoffed. "After what you did?"

"Aw! You look so adorable when you're taking things personally!" I poked him. He caught my wrist.

"Katya, don't provoke the demons in me."

"I won't. Trust me, you're not the reason why I'm here. I want to talk to Mancini."

"After what you did?" He repeated it again.

Like Nick, I have deep roots in the mob. There are certain things in life that cannot be escaped like our identities. Even with ten different aliases, Lorraine Hall being one of them, I can't seem to outrun my past. A ghost from my past came knocking at my door. I didn't open. The next day I was gone. I have burned through two aliases since. I'm now on my fourth, having out Lorraine Hall on pause. That is my go to alias. I ditched everything including my best friend. That part breaks my heart because I have a personal rule. Don't get attached. I love Kei very much. My heart took to her without a fight. I didn't even realize she was growing on me. She's a sweetheart.

"Get over it. Mancini got in my way, I reacted."

"You stabbed him in the neck! You almost killed the godfather!"

"He didn't identify himself. It's not my fault he didn't react fast enough. I apologized and he got over it so get over it."

A bodyguard came forward and whispered something to him. He rolled his eyes and gestured me to follow. He brought me to the back of the house. There's a beautiful lake just a stone throw away. I'm in Sicily, at the godfather's mansion. This is my last stop before I disappear completely.

"The Russian princess." He smirked.

I looked at Russo. "See? He got over it."

"Leave us." Russo left with a lot of reluctance in his steps. "If you try anything, I'll drown you in the lake." He's smoking a cigar. "What brings you by?"

"You remember that offer you made me?"

After I stabbed him in the neck with a hair pin, he offered me a job as his hit man, not contract with lucrative compensation. At the time, I was only interested in finding my sister, who seems to be a ghost. Come to think of it, I understand why I was drawn to Kei. She reminds me of my sister. It's not Kei's nature because my sister is bad. It's the mannerisms. Katerina feigns innocence to perfection. Their eyes are also the same colour. Almost the same colour. That night I stabbed Mancini, we were both chasing after her ghost. I never saw her but he did.

"What about it?"

"I want it."

"It's been three years. Why now?" He asked me.

"Because I need a favor from you."

The devilishly handsome bastard smiled crookedly. "What would that be?"

"A hit."

"A hit? You are the daughter of a mob boss. Why not carry out the hit yourself?"

"Because I'm on the run and I'm too close to it. I have a rule. If I'm too close to it I contract. I'm giving you the contract to carry out a mob hit."

"Who is the target?"

I got a folded photograph of Jason Burke from my jacket. "This man." I gave it to him.

He looked at it. The name is on the back. He turned it and read it. "Jason Burke. What has he done to you?"

"His sins are not your concern. I want him dead by the end of the week. Once you confirm his death, I work for you for a whole year."

Mancini has a cryptic mind. Nothing is ever that simple with him.

"You must really want him dead to come to me Katya. I can do this. It's not a big problem. But I want four years from you. Once you're done, you walk away. We will be even."

"Four years for one hit? Are you crazy?"

"Four years for one hit and protection from your father. I will give you and your son safe residence in Sicily. No one will touch you or your son. You won't have to keep looking over your shoulder. Deal?"

"How do you know about my son?" I questioned him.

"Who had the balls to get you pregnant? That is the better question." He smiled. "Do we have a deal?"

For Kei, anything. Most importantly, I need this now. I need to disappear. My father cannot find me or my son.

"Deal." We shook hands.