"...Apologizing doesn't mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego..."

Nick's POV

After I closed the door, I rested against it.

I gave in. He threatened to hurt Kei and I gave in. I work for Romano Mancini and by extension, the Mafia. He was clear that if a penny of his money goes missing he will take one of my hands. After that a limb for each offense. I would gladly challenge him on that but not on Keira's safety. There's no gamble there.

"Daddy!" Maddie hugged my legs. "Oh you're here! You're here! You're here!" She started jumping up and down, her arms raised for me to pick her up.

We shared a quick kiss. "Ciao piccola. You got prettier, didn't you?"

"Duh!" She made a stupid face and I matched it to make her laugh.

"I missed you."

"I missed you this much." She opened her arms wide.

He threw her up and caught her to turn her upside down, holding her by her legs. Her screams and giggles filled the quiet house.

"Have you eaten?"

"A lot!"

"Then let's turn you the right side up before you throw up! There you go! There you go piccola. Bed time? Why are you not in bed?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Well I'm here. Let's go to bed. Take me to you room. Go! I'm right behind you!"

When I set her down and she ran off my joy left with her. I'm reminded that I'm pissed at Kei for not taking an extra mile for me.

"Fatherhood looks good on you." Nonno spoke to me from the floor above. "There hasn't been that much life in this house since you used to live here."

"Even when Tony is drunk and loud?"

He laughed. "Tony is always th life of the party. Come up here. I want to talk to you." He walked on. I went up the curved steps to meet him. "How did it go with Mancini?"

"He got his way."

"Dio! The very thing I have tried to keep you away from..." He pressed the bridge of his nose. "What does he have on you? Mancini blackmails his way. What did you do?"

"It's not what I did. It's who. Keira."

"How? I don't follow. Are you involved with the girl?"

"I love the girl." I told him. "I think Mancini knows."

Nonno scratched his head. "You are still married, no?"

"I am."

"Marianna says she's married too. Is that true?"

"It is."

"So tell me something Nicko. What are you doing?"

I looked up at the ceiling. I blinked repeatedly. "I don't know what I'm doing but I know what I feel. I will not let her slip through my fingers. Our marriages will be done with and both of us will be free to be together. In the meantime,I don't see why we shouldn't enjoy each other's company."

"Dio! Did Mancini hit you in the head? Have you lost your mind bambino?" His voice rose steadily.

"I'm not changing my mind. Buona notte nonno." I kissed his cheek and left him.

A good night's rest should help. Tomorrow is the day of the overflow. My grandfather will have a lot of visitors over to celebrate his success with the winery. There will be a free flow of wine. He does this every year and this is my first one in ten years.

"Nickolas." I stopped when I heard Keira's voice. "Can we please talk about what was said this morning?"

"No." I declined without looking at her. "I'm going to bed. Tomorrow."

"I'm sorry Nickolas. I'm sorry about seeming flaky." She got closer to me. Her palms touched my face. "I want this too but I'm ashamed about the way we are going about it. I don't want to be your mistress. And while you think divorce is that easy, it's not that way for me. Jason won't just let go. I'm terrified not just of your wife but of him. My fear is greater than how much I want this. That is why I'm asking you for some time to figure it out. Please don't rush me. Just give me some time to be brave enough. Please."

How can I say no to her when she's pleading like this? I pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you for expressing yourself." I pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Good night."

She held on to me. "Do you want to come to bed with me?" She asked.

It's tempting.

"Daddy. Bed time." I turned to look at my daughter.

"I think I'll sleep in my own bed tonight. Good night Kei."

*

My father is more complicated than I am. He has been away half my life as a young boy only showing up for a week or two before leaving. I always tried not to get attached to him because it hurt so much when he left. At that time I didn't understand that he was having problems with my mother. Now I do understand how a man can be absent from his child's life.

"When you were fourteen, Michael Ballard invited us to Winchester. He wanted you to meet his daughter." He placed the chess board and the chess pieces on the table. "Black or white?"

"Black." I arranged the pieces and we slowly began our game.

"When she got home, Keira that is, you were in the stables. When you came from the stables she was asleep and just like that you never got to meet her. Isn't life funny? That your paths finally crossed?"

I find myself wondering how often I could have possibly crossed paths with her and not have known it. I don't believe in coincidences but I know that she came into my life at the right time. Any earlier and I would have probably eroded her innocence and walked away. It's the perfect time.

"It is. With a little help from Michael Ballard."

He chuckled.

We played in silence neither of us speaking. But my mind is far from the game. I am thinking of Keira. She is all I think about. I can't be helped. I am thinking of how I'll get her to trust me with her heart. I can see how much she holds back. I want her to just let go and trust me.

"Check mate." My father announced getting me out of my thoughts. "Where is your mind Nickolas?"

"Clearly not here." I answered leveling my gaze with his. We bear so much similarity to each other that it is scary!

"Is it Keira?"

"Every other time."

"Your grandmother isn't against Keira as a person but she's against the scandal attached to what you two are doing. You know she hates the press especially bad publicity."

"I know. It was one of her rules when she was employing me as the CEO. My issues with Helena will drag on for as long as the divorce is not final and the uncertainty of what Margaux will take for me looms over us. But I'll protect Bale Industries at all costs."

"You do that. Your grandmother fought a lot of board room battles and chauvinistic male relatives to get where she is. Value her hard work."

"I do. I value it."

"Now please go resolve things with your mother. Heaven knows I'm tired of being her punching bag when she can't take jabs at you." He chuckled.

I'm not looking forward to dealing with her. This is day two and we haven't crossed paths. I see her with Maddie but she avoids me and I avoid her. I can't leave Florence without resolving it. I promised Tony.

*

The only sound that can be heard through the kitchen is the sound of our knives clattering against the wooden chopping boards or perhaps the soup simmering slowly. Only the objects around us seem to be alive and involved in endless chatter but my mom and I are as quiet as the grave.

My grandfather seems to think that cooking together will force us to have a conversation. The issue is not the lack of conversation but the content. Shouting, insults, finger pointing and resolving not to speak each other, only for the vicious cycle to repeat itself.

What nonno doesn't know is that my mother and I have developed the art of speech without words over the years. We can totally do that too and exchange looks that kill. Only our eyes have been doing the talking and we understand each other perfectly.

We are like this because she has an equally domineering personality. So between the two us, no one is ever willing to compromise. In the absence of a compromise comes to birth conflict. That's why we argue so much. When I was a child I never obeyed her blindly. Being too clever for my own good, I questioned her. I demanded a logical reason and whenever she came up short giving me answers like: because I said so, I'm your mother or any other senseless crap, I turned her down. That made her lash out and I obviously didn't try to make any effort to calm her. I aggravated the situation by walking out on her or zoning out to her nagging. I also talked back occasionally as much as it earned me a whooping from nonno and my father. When she lost a battle, she turned up the waterworks and went crying to nonno or my father so that she gets me in trouble. She knew she could lose to me but I can never win against my father and grandfather.

That's the history between my mom and I. We are constantly at war over everything. We find reasons to fight.

I can see her gazing at me from the corner of my eye. She obviously hates the way I am slicing the carrots. She likes everything diced. I like everything julienned. It annoys her and I am counting down the seconds before she snaps.

It didn't take long.

She slammed her cleaver on her board. "Why can't you just dice them figlio mio?" She questioned furiously.

I know very well it isn't about the carrots, not in the least bit. This is about me never doing things her way. This is about me marrying Margaux behind her back. This is about me never bringing my daughter to see her. This is about everything but the carrots.

"I'm sorry." I apologized as hard as it is to utter those simple yet heavy words. She instantly frowned, her serious face softening gradually until she gave me a blank gaze. She slowly set down the cleaver still speechless. "Come here." I spoke opening my arms. "Come on mom, I know you want to." She didn't speak but she hugged me really tightly. I hugged her back kissing the top of her head considering she is way shorter than me by an entire foot. In my opinion, short women are fussy. That's why I like them above 5'6". "I love you and I'm really really sorry for being difficult. Please forgive me, per favore forgive me."

She slowly withdrew from the hug fanning her face frantically.

"Dio Nicko!" She exclaimed in a broken voice. "I just did my make up now my mascara is going to run. You have been the worst! But it makes me happy to hear you apologize."

I looked on expectantly. She's not saying what I need her to say. "Won't you apologize?"

She threw a mean look at me. "For what?" She asked me.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Are you trying to start something Nicko?"

This woman is unbelievable!

"You know what, I take back my apology. Go to hell!" I pushed the chopping board aside. It fell on the floor.

"I'll take you with me!" She screamed at me. "You're probably on the highway there, sleeping with a married woman! Shame on you!"

I paused at the door.

I took in a deep breath, willing myself to walk away but the high road is not one I drive on. I like the low one. I retaliate. I never turn the other cheek.

"You're not a saint! Take your hypocritical moral standards and shove them up-"

"Nickolas!" My father's voice silenced me. I looked at the furious man. My grandfather is there too, looking disappointed.

When I faced her, I realized that I'll always be the loser in this. She's feigning tears, fanning herself. She will always be the queen of all drama. She walked past me, right into my father's arms. "I don't know what is wrong with him! Did you hear what he said to me?"

"Apologize." My father demanded.

"No." I refused. "No! No! No!"

I walked away. This house won't be big enough for the two of us. I'm leaving first thing tomorrow morning.