POV Cammie

Two days have passed and I didn't hear from Kara. I let her hundreds of messages but she didn't answer. Till now.

Kara

Me: Hey, yes of course!

Kara

Me: Perfect, see you there.

It's 7 pm, time to leave my flat and go to the restaurant. Kara is waiting outside. It is a small vegan restaurant. The place of our first date...

- Hey Cam, how are you?

- I've had better days, you?

- Same I guess...

We stay here, looking at each other in an awkward silence. Then she moves toward me and kisses me.

- I love you Camden Scott.

I break the kiss and answer that I love her too. We enter in the restaurant and order. I engage the conversation:

- So... what do you want to talk about?

- I want you to be honest, I am ready to ear you. I need to understand...

- I don't know what to say...

- Do you love me?

- Yes Kara, I do love you...

- Did I do anything wrong? What happened with Shannon? Do you want to end this relationship?

- You didn't do anything wrong, you are perfect, since the day I met you. About Shannon, I really can't explain it. I mean, when we broke up, we were still in love but just it wasn't enough for us to be happy, we needed to grow. She is my first love and I guess I never stopped loving her, I don't think I ever will. But I met you, I fall for you, what we have is true.

- So what? Was the Shannon thing a mistake?

- I wish I could tell you that, the truth is... I wanted it to happen. I never meant to hurt you. But all those years we didn't spoke and I thought I forgot her but... In Spain I don't know, we just clicked. I mean, it was easy to talk with her and be with her... I thought we finally moved on and were able to be friend. I wanted us to be friend... Be deep down I felt more. And I am ashamed and angry and I never wanted to cheat on you, but I felt more. I am still in love with Shannon. I can't help it. I have feeling for both of you and it's killing me. And when you left I just... I am a beach, I don't deserve you...

Kara is crying right now and I am using all the strength I have not to do the same. I take her hand in mine and she doesn't push me away.

- Kara, I wish I could erase everything and never hurt you the way I did...

- What happened in Spain?

- We spend time together... we spoke a lot. And the last night, we were in a bar and those guys went to talk to me but she came to rescue me and we kissed. We leave the bar together and kiss again but then we stopped because I am with you, and she is with Cary.

- Is that all?

- I...

- Cammie, you hurt me like no one did in my entire life. You broke my heart and I am struggling to just look at you right now. But I love you, and I can understand, I still think that we belong together. I love you and if you want us to continue our way together I can forgive you. Not today, not tomorrow but I will.

- I don't know what I want Kara, I don't deserve your love. You deserve to be fully loved and treated like a queen.

- Do you want to break up with me?

- I don't know. How can you be so understanding, and calm, and perfect?

- I am not calm. I am devastated, but I can't lose you. I love you and I can fight if that's what you want. Shannon was your first love and maybe you needed to spend time with her to have a proper closure. I don't know. I don't want to think about it. I just want to think about me and you. I fucking love you Camden Scott, with all my heart.

- I...

- I will let you time to figure out.

***

I am scrolling on my phone. Shannon put a message on the spain conv' with a link to the pictures she took. I spend two hours looking at them. This girl is skilled. I watch the portrait she made of me...and it hit me. Just in this picture, I can feel loved. I feel her gaze on me, the way she turns the camera to capture small details on me. I feel loved and my heart is jumping of happiness. It seems stupid but I can't explain it. It moves me.

Kara let me space to think. I didn't texted her, neither did she. I spend the week alone, focusing on myself. I went to the sea, my happy place. The reflections of the sun on the water bring me peace. I am in the present, not thinking about anything else but how beautiful is this place. I breathe slowly. Memories start to flow in my mind

I am looking at the sea; her arms are around my chest, warming my body and my heart. Her smile is the 9th wonder of the world, the 8th being her eyes. I am the luckiest girl in the world. Having her in my life is a dream. I am sure she is the one I will marry. I never was that kind of a romantic person but she makes me believe that soulmates are real. She is mine. She is the half soul that completes mine. She is my everything, I can't think about a life without her. I feel a breath in my neck, making me shiver. I got goosebumps. Every day I feel more loved and I love her more. Every day I discover new things about her which make me fall harder for her.

Her thumbs is caressing my cheek and I smile harder than before. I turn to front her.

- How is it possible that you are so perfect?

- When did you became such a romantic Camden Scott?

- When I met this crazy beautiful soul who made me believe in soulmates... I think you know her, about that size, brown hair, amazing beautiful blue eyes... Her name is Shannon... Shanbam her nickname...

- She looks great, would you introduce me to her?

- Back off, she is mine.

- Yeah, whatever. I've heard that she is crazy in love with you anyway so I wouldn't have a chance.

- Tell me more about what you heard...

- She talks all the time about you so it will take a while to tell you everything... But for the main idea: she is completely in love with you, with your green eyes. She can drown into them and she feels so special when you look at her.

Shannon stops to speak for a second. She looks at me deeply, with so much love in her eyes. She kisses me, softly, in love. I am the one feeling special.

- Cam, every time I picture the future you are in it with me. Our life together is a fairy tale with a beautiful happy ending where the two princesses end together, holding hands and kissing each other in a beautiful tiny house with a dog and two cats... I love you so much that my heart feels too small sometimes to contain all those feelings. You're always in my head, making me smile. Even were we fight you are the person I want to hug and ask for comfort. You're a dream that became reality.

It starts to rain, waking me up from my thoughts. I don't know how long I stayed here, it is almost night. Shannon is the one who bring me to this beach for the first time... and it is still the place where I come when I need to think. She offered me this refuge. Somehow, I feel connected with her and it calms me. I know what I have to do.

I knock at Kara's door. She looks exhausted. Her eyes are red from crying. I feel terrible seeing her like that. I breathe deeply and try to find some courage to talk.

- Hi, can I come in?

- Hey...

She opens her door completely. Her living room is a mess; she didn't do the dishes for several days and a lot of trash is on the floor and on her table.

- What do you want Cam?

- Are you okay?

She gives me a glare. She's obviously not okay.

- Kara, I...

- It has always been Shannon right? You guys just can't help it... I knew it the second I saw you too together... I never had a chance

- I love you Kara, I never intended to hurt you

- Am I wrong though?

- I...

- What I thought, you can leave now...

I don't want to leave her like that. I guess I have no right to decide. The week after that is really tuff. I cry all the time, thinking about her and how I broke her heart. Mine is broken too, you can't erase more than 3 years relationship in a finger clap. I feel empty, even dirty because of guilt. Now I need to find Shannon because all this pain can't be for nothing. I chose her over Kara, and hopefully she chose me over Cari. I believe in a happy ending. I call Jess, asking her for news. She tells me that Shan went to Dallas visiting her mom. I miss Debby too. She always was so nice to me, the best step mom in the world!

I would like to take the first plane and go in Dallas. I obviously don't. I asked Jess to tell me when Shannon would come back to LA in order to surprise her. And now I am at the airport, waiting for Shannon to see me and my stupid cheesy sign. I was never the romantic one in our relationship, but today is a special day. Today is the beginning of a new life with the woman of my dreams. I see her looking for someone in the hallway. Jess is not here, I wait till she notices me. Our gazes meet. Surprise, understanding, happiness. She walks toward. I never hugged someone that hard.

- Cam...

I don't answer, I just kiss her. This is too good to be true. I love her so much. I start to cry from happiness.

- Stop crying looser, I'm gonna cry too!

- You'r the looser

- Not today... So, you chose me?

- You're my soulmate remember? I'll always choose you.