"I missed you too much."

This single line. This stupid single line, gave chills down Felix's body. As much as he was trying to deny it, he was weak for Chan- nO. NO HE IS NOT FELIX STOP.

Concentrate on your food Felix.

Felix clenched the spoon in his hand and dug into his food, savouring the taste. He would make sure to come here more often.

Suddenly, he felt a hand. On. His. Thigh.

He froze. The spoon, half way to his mouth, almost fell out of his hand. His heart started beating fast. Extremely fast.

Mmmm this food was really good.

Felix continued to eat, trying to act unbothered. Maybe if he did that, this man would stop torturing him.

But no. He assumed wrong.

Chans hand started moving up. Higher and higher, and then it went back down again. And then he squeezed the skin.

Felix this time, dropped his spoon. Thankfully, it fell onto his plate. Everyone looked up, and then resumed eating. No one suspected anything.

Chan was the only one who was sitting at this table, who seemed unfazed by absolutely everything going on.

Felix just needed someone to notice.

The hand moved again, up and down, Felix was sure he was red by now. The butterflies in his stomach wouldn't disagree.

This was the feeling he was trying to avoid. At least from this certain person. It felt as though only Chan could do this to him. Instead of feeling violated, he felt okay with it. If another were to be doing this, he would feel distaste. But he didn't with Chan.

This made him upset.

Chan squeezed again.

Felix abruptly stood up and stormed off. Where the bathroom was, he didn't know, but he would find it.

He saw a waiter and walked up to him, fists balled, "where's the bathroom."

The waiter looked taken aback, but at this point Felix didn't care, he was fuelled by anger.

The waiter lifted a finger and pointed in a direction to which Felix followed.

He saw a door with a sign of a man on it and barged in, harshly shoving the door open.

He was frustrated. Felix stood infront of the mirror above the sink, get a damn grip of yourself. But why? He hated resisting. That boy is playing you. But what if he's not.

At that moment, big hands grabbed Felix's waist and spun him around. "You think a lot."

Felix blinked. It was Chan, it was always Chan.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

His voice sounded so soothing. Felix didn't dare break the strong eye contact they each held. Although he didn't show it, this man was soft, caring and tender.

"It's you." He answered simply, "you're the reason. It's because you act like you care, and then take it back." Felix expanded, taking on a somewhat sad tone without realising.

He saw hurt flash in Chans eyes. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that." Was all he said.

Hands still on Felix's sides, he started to lean down slowly, but Felix turned his head. He didn't want this. "Chan," he sighed "please take the advice I already said to you and stay away from me."

"No."

The exact same answer as last time.

Felix's frustration built. "Chan just stop. I need you to get it through your head that i won't fall for your tricks." A tear ran down his face.

Crying again, like always.

Chan brought a hand up to Felix's face and cupped it, wiping the single tear with his thumb.

"What tricks are you talking about. I need you to trust me when I say that I care for you."

That's what he said last time.

"I believed you before. And you hurt me. I don't want to feel even more hurt...i'm scared." Felix's voice cracked on the last word.

He realised he had just blurted out the one thing he didn't even know himself. How was it that Chan could tell him things about himself that even he didn't know without saying a word.

Felix looked down, feeling more tears build and slip out of his eyes. He had gone through so much recently. He just needed someone for comfort that he could trust with his full heart at the moment. But he had no one, and this fact hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Chan." He sobbed, "I can't put my trust in you because I'm scared that you'll let me down."

He grabbed the sides of Chan's shirt. "Like my da- the man did. I think.. I'm paranoid. And I don't know what to do." He managed to force out. He didn't know why he was suddenly feeling everything again since Chan entered his life, but he didn't want to. He wished it would all just stop, but he had learnt that unfortunately, life didn't work that way.

"An-and when you went missing" he hiccuped, "I thought you were dead. And then at the funeral, I felt my heart shatter seeing your picture."

He pulled Chan's chest closer to him and poured his all of his pain out in tears. He wrapped his arms around his waist and he felt Chan's comforting arms around his. This was all he needed right now.

He would worry about everything else later. His world crashed on him again. Everything inside of him broke again. He had been through this so many times before. But this was by far the worst, every event combined and knocked him over. It mixed with Chans confusing feelings and his own and tied in to make a perfect duo.

After a couple of minutes staying like that, they had pulled away and Felix had sat on the sink, wiping his eyes and taking time to calm himself.

"Chan." He spoke.

"Yeah?" Chan answered hastily.

"I think I need help. Professional help." Felix squeezed his eyes tightly. He didn't want to admit this to himself. It meant he was exactly how his father had described him, but that man was no longer in his life.

"Like a therapist?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "This keeps happening, I've tried to hold it in, it seems like it only makes it worse." He spoke now monotone.

"It would baby. It's okay to feel like you need it." Chan walked up to him and stood infront of him. "It's better to get it as soon as possible. I can even take you if you want yeah?"

Felix didn't make eye contact with Chan, he would give in if he did. "No, this is something I want to do on my own. I need some kind of independence for once, I don't like the fact that I always need people around me to help me."

"Okay. Do what you feel is right."

Felix looked up at Chan. "You're different."

Chan cocked his head, "different from what?"

"Different from what I thought you were at the campsite. You have feelings."

Chan laughed, "you're so cute." He said as he pinched Felix's cheeks.

Felix blushed. He never would've thought Chan would be so soft. Had he changed or was he always like this? "Chan" Felix looked into his eyes, "thank you." He smiled softly, before getting shy. "For you know, letting me cry and destroy your shirt."

Chan chuckled, "you can destroy my shirts any day." He smirked and winked.

"I'm serious!! Thank you for being there for me."

"Now do you believe me?"

Felix cocked his head, confused.

"When I say I care for you."

Ohhhhh, well. Felix had a lot to think about. But he felt a lot less stressed about everything right now. So he would think about it and make rational decisions.

"Felix what is that face. That's your thinking face. Does this mean I can hit on you?" Chan exclaimed, excitement prominent in his eyes.

Felix didn't give him an answer. He didn't know what to think at this point. "Give me a week."

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IM SCREAMING SO HARD RN OMGFJDJDJDKKSNWN WHAT OKAY OKAY I'm cAlM

DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE I COULDNT FREAKING WAIT