Parties are meant to be full of sex, drinks and drugs right? They're meant to be out of this world, especially during your teen years. But this party is absolutely awful.

I don't know why I agreed to go, I should've known Chuck would be here. He still hated me and that sucked and all, but the worst thing is Nate. He was refusing to talk to me. I know Chuck's his best friend and everything but still. I still loved Serena and she cheated on Blair with Nate. He had no right to judge me. The hypocritical bastard had done so much worse than me.

I sighed and watched Blair dancing, she honestly looked happy without Nate. It was nice to see her so happy.

"Well you're the life and soul of the party this evening." Jenny said from behind me.

I turned around a shot her a glare. "I'm sorry, but it's never fun to see your ex practically shagging another girl on the dance floor. Honestly, is she trying to be the worlds biggest whore?" I ranted. Okay, maybe I was throwing myself a pity party but I didn't care.

"Rather than being sober and sorrowful, how about you drown them with tequila?" Jenny suggested.

I smiled at her and took the shot out of her hands. "I knew there was a reason you're my best friend." I laughed and tipped the shot down my throat. I relished in the burn it made and quickly sought out to get another one down there.

An hour later and I was smashed. I couldn't even remember how much tequila I had drunk. And I thought some guy threw some wine in there somewhere. Either way, I was drunk.

"You know, I hate it Jenny. I didn't even do anything with the guy and I'm treated like a piece of shit. But Nate- he fucks his girlfriend's best friend and he gets no reprocussions. He's still golden boy." I rambled to Jenny. "Well do you know what? I'm done with this crappy place. I'm moving in with my dick of a dad." I decided and took my phone out of my pocket and sending Blair a quick text which probably made no sense.

"Wait! A, where are you going?" Jenny called after me but I was already stumbling out of the door. I was trying to flag down a taxi bit kept falling over, tumbling and tripping.

I finally managed to track one down and I was inches from getting in it when two strong arms picked me up, and held me in their arms.

I looked up to see the owner of the arms and frowned when I saw who the arms belonged to. "I don't like these arms." I told Nate Archibald, nodding sternly.

I felt Nate's chest shake and I assumed he had chuckled at me. "Don't laugh at me! You're a dick, you know that? A complete asshole." I hissed at him.

"I know, I know. But you can't just flee the country because you're drunk and upset." Nate argued.

I bit his shoulder hard. "I am not drunk."

"Of course your not, but I'm still getting you home."

"I hate you, you know?" I told Nate as he carried me down the street. "I was worried sick about you. I had no clue what had happened or why you weren't answering your phone. Both of you. And then some guy shows me that I could be treated right. Who can blame me for going along with him? I barely even touched him yet I'm some major slapper." I tended to ramble when I was drunk. "And I missed my boyfriend but I missed his fucking best friend more. I didn't understand that, I still don't. I don't understand anything really. Except that I hate you, I understand that." Had I mentioned that I was stubborn when I was drunk too? "You fucked Serena while Blair was your girlfriend. Stop. Being such a big, jackass, loser face hypocrite."

Nate had carried me home and was now on the way to my bedroom. "I'm sorry." He said simply. "I've just had to be there for Chuck.

And then I lost it. I laughed so hard that I had to clutch my stomach. And then I burst out crying. Nate put me down on the bed and frowned at me.

"He needed you there did he? He fucking needed you? He didn't give a shit about me! He never cared. No one ever cares. I just need someone to give a damn about me. I need someone to care. I needed him there, but he wasn't. I needed Blair there, but she wasn't. I needed you there, but you weren't. You weren't there Nate. None of you were. None of you cared."

I wasn't sure how long I cried for after that. But when I was finished I found that I was in Nate's arms and ruining his Armani shirt.

"Let's get you to bed okay, Lexi bear?" The nickname made me smile despite myself. He used to call me that when I was five. "I'm gonna help you get changed okay?"

I just shrugged my consent and him and lifted my arms up so that he could take my dress off.

Nate seemed hesitant but he took the dress of me and slipped a silk nightie on. He laid me down in bed and looked at me for a moment. "I should go..." He said.

"Can't you just stay until I fall asleep?" I asked with a small pout. "You owe me for being such a dick." I told him.

He nodded his head and sat in the chair next to my bed. "Of course." He smiled as reached over to run his fingers through my hair. Soon blackness took over me.

**

The next morning I woke up with a dreadful headache. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair. After my usual unflattering yawning and stretching, I got out of bed.

The next thing I new I had landed face first on the floor, tripping over feet. I looked up to see the guilty person and came into contact with Nate.

I immediately stood up and whacked the floppy haired boy around the head. "Wake up!" I whisper-yelled.

"Ow! What did you do that for?" He complained.

"You tripped me up." I explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But never mind that now. Get out." I hissed.

"What? But I was thinking we could maybe spend the day together?"

I bursted out laughing at him. "No thanks. A, you're my sisters ex. B, your my ex's best friend. C, you've done nothing but ignore me recently. And D, you have to actually be friends with someone to hang out with them." I hissed and pushed him out of my room, slamming the door in his face.

Okay, maybe given my current state, slamming the door wasn't the best idea. But it worked for dramatic effect.

When I was certain the coast is clear, I went into Blair's room. But she wasn't there. She must've left already. I frowned and walked back upstairs.

What was Nate thinking asking if we could hang out? It was so wrong. And it'd involve us skipping school together, which would have had just been weird.

I was going to be extremely late for school, but I didn't care. I had to have a shower and make myself half presentable before going in.

I had the quickest shower of my life and got myself dressed. I let my hair curl and fall down my back with a simple pink headband to hold it back.

I ran out the door and got our driver to drive me to school. Hopefully I could make it in time for third.

I ran into Constance and got into math just in time, my heart racing. I felt stare son me, but I didn't care. I was only two periods late. It was a lot better than I thought it'd be.

Lunch came around rather quickly and I sat in the school gardens rather than at the steps. I just needed some time to myself. Not that it was going to happen, of course.

"Have you seen the new gossip girl blast?" Jenny asked coming to sit next to me.

I just shook my head and got my phone out. Sure enough, there was gossip girl.

Good morning upper east siders,

Most of us have already been up for hours. But some of us may have spent too many hours up last night.

Spotted: Nate and A leaving the party together. A looked worse for wear and Nate was there to be her knight in shining Armani. But we all have our suspicions when they turn up late together, looking slightly disheveled. We hope you had fun, A but remember in every fairy tail there's an evil queen. B may just be out for your head.

Xoxo Gossip Girl.

"Ugh." I groaned and put my head in m hands. "We didn't even turn up late together. I didn't know he was late. I kicked him out before I knew. And no, we didn't sleep together. When I woke up he was on the chair, fully clothed." I explained. "And besides, I'd never sleep with him. I couldn't do that to Blair."

"Well I'm glad to hear that." Blair said from behind me, making me jump. "I admit, I did come over here to battle. But then I realised that you're my sister. Even if you made the worst mistake, even if you made that mistake twice. I'd still love you." She said and wrapped her arms around me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes while hugging her back. "Okay, no you wouldn't. You're only saying that because I didn't make that mistake." I laughed. "I'm pretty sure you'd disown me if I did." I told her and kissed her cheek.

Blair looked up at me, her eyes watery for a moment. "Probably." She muttered before she composed herself again, making me very confused.

"Okay, well I have to get to class. See you later, B." I smiled and walked away from the crowd of girls.

I almost got the corridor before being pulled away. "I have pepper spray and stilettos on." I warned.

"Kinky." Came a monotone voice.

"Chuck." I sighed.

"Glad to know you think of me when it comes to kinky." I could practically feel the smirk on his face.

"No. I heard your voice. What do you want?" I asked, not looking at him.

There was a pause before he finally answered me. "Did you do it?

"Do what?" I asked, exasperated.

"Nate."

"No Chuck! I don't know if you've noticed but he's my sister's ex. And he's ignored me for the past week. If I had been sober I wouldn't have even let him take me home." I then ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "But even if we did, what would it matter to you? I don't know if you noticed but we're not together."

"And who's fault is that?"

"I refuse to take all the blame for this Chuck. I'm not just some pathetic little girl that you can bully into feeling like shit. Yes, I went on a date with another guy. And I'm sorry. But it's not like we done anything." I took a deep breath and looked directly at him, tears starting to swim in my eyes. "I didn't know where you were. I tried to call you. I called you so much I felt needy and desperate. I told you I loved you and you disappeared." My voice cracked as tears started to fall down my face. "I needed you Chuck. I needed you to prove to me that it was okay to feel. I needed you to prove to me that I could love you and even if you didn't love me back you'd still be there for me. But you didn't do that. And I want to hate you, but it sucks. It sucks that I can't hate you." I told him and stepped back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have just ran off, I shouldn't have left you on your own. But I had to. I needed space. I needed to get over the fact that-" He stopped short and looked up as if he had said to much.

"What? What did you need to get over Chuck?" I asked.

"The fact that I slept with your sister."