All Katy and Crawford were doing was begging me stay. In my heart I really want to, but I know what's best for all of us here and it will be easier for everyone if I just leave. I had never planned on telling Crawford or anybody that was going to leave, but Katy had to mess that up and now it's so much more harder to just leave them. I thought long and hard about leaving, and long and hard about what Katy said and how I'd make her life miserable if I left. I thought her life was already miserable, which was why I was leaving. I wanted to make everything better for her. All I want to do is what Crawford what's to do. Make her happy.

After thinking I decided to give this another chance. If staying makes Katy happy, then I'll stay. I just don't want to be in the way because I know she likes Crawford more then she likes me.

I spoke up after what seemed like forever with Katy starring me down, giving me the look saying 'you know what the right choice is, so you better say it'.

"Fine....I'll stay"

Katy and Crawf both stood there shock. Katy looked at Crawford and Crawford back at Katy, and then both at me.

Katy's smile grew wider and wider, and she pulled me into bone crushing hug.

"Yay!! I'm so glad your not leaving, I don't know what i'd do without you." She said while pulling away from our hug.

"Now I won't have to be stuck with Crawf" Katy laughed.

Well now since I'm not leaving, I still think it's best for Katy and I to spend time apart. But I also don't want to completely ignore her. It's going to be so much harder to stay away.

.

When I found out that Chris was planning on leaving without telling me, it kind of hurt. I don't understand why Chris would want to anyway, everything he has is here. Another thing that bugged me was that Katy knew, why did Chris tell Katy and not his own brother? Since when was Chris even as close as I was to Katy? I don't know when all this happened, but to be honest I felt betrayed. At this point it didn't matter to me what Chris did. The only reason I begged Chris to stay, is because Katy asked me to. I can tell that Chris means a lot to her, and I wouldn't want her to be all depressed if he left. Sure i'd be tree for her, but there's some things I can't do that Chris can. That's why, since we both like her, we both have to be there for her.

I can already tell by the look on his face is that he wanted to stay as far from Katy as possible. Maybe because he wants to give space or something else.

Just watching as this all plays out between us, it's obvious nothing will be the same. Nothing will be like how it used to be. All because of this one girl and feelings that are getting out of hand. It's something that neither Chris or I can control, and maybe that's why we do the things we do. We want to do what's best, but not realizing how things will turn out. Not thinking what people will be effected.

It makes sense now. That's all a possible reason as to why Chris was going to leave. Leave it to Chris to go to extremes. I've had the same feelings as Chris, but never once was I going to leave, I know how that will effect Katy. Chris on the other hand doesn't.

In the moment everything seems to be okay. Katy is happy the Chris won't leave. Me and Chris are happy that Katy's happy. It's sort of like an every day thing, it's normal. You know other then the whole us begging Chris to stay, and not leave.

I hope everything plans out how Katy think it will. I don't want her to be disappointed that everything is completely different. Or that Chris is so distant from her. Knowing that it'll most likely end up that way, I want to make sure Katy's okay. Hopefully Chris won't take this to extremes, but by the look on his face he's definitely thinking about it, or something important that's bothering him.

I decided to take Katy home, so she doesn't have to be here all night. She probably needs some rest anyway.

It was a completely silent ride. I could tell Katy was thinking about something, but I didn't ask. If she wanted to talk she would've said something.

"Hey Crawford, do you know what's wrong with Chris" she decided to speak up as soon as we reached her house.

"No why"

"Oh...just cause he said something and yeah....just wondering....well bye and uh thanks for the ride home"

"Yeah sure"

Katy got out of the car fast and walked inside. I wish I knew what Chris told her. She seemed pretty worked up about it and like she couldn't concentrate on anything else but that one thing Chris said.

Theres only one way to find out.

I know asking Crawford what was wrong with Chris and even bringing Chris up was a mistake but I didn't know what else to do. Ever since Chris said what he said in the room, it's been keeping me distracted. It wasn't only just in the room he said it, sometimes when we talk he says it, in the letter he mentioned it, and when I was mad at him for leaving, which he isn't now. All I want to know is why he says it, if he doesn't mean it. Why he also talks about Crawford. Why he doesn't care enough to try. All of these are bugging me. It's all because of this one comment. He uses it all the time, but it seems like it means nothing. Like he means nothing. Like I mean nothing.