《Collateral Damage》7
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Now that it was on the table all Alexander could think about was what she said. Her casual suggestion of him fucking her, taking her, just like that, just—just like one of his hookups. Except it wasn't like one of his hookups. They weren't strangers who mutually agreed that they were sexually attracted to one another and wanted a brief, sexual encounter. No.
He was practically her caregiver, wasn't he? Could he look on mirror and say, I am going to have sex with this woman...after I pick her up from school? No! He just—no! He whipped his clothes off, tossing then in the hamper, sighing. A groan left his lips as he stretched.
He turned on his shower, letting the water heat up, putting it around his waist. Just as he was about to get in a knock came at the door. He sighed, and went to the door. Who could possibly be at his door? He opened it, finding Audrey, who shouldered past him.
"You know your address is on Google for free right?" She remarked flippantly. "And cover up, you look like a slut."
"I—what? This is my house,"
Audrey looked him up and down, noting his slim waist, the tattoos snaking down his arms, his toned abdomen, light wisps of dark hair peeking out from that towel. "And?" She remarked, sitting on the couch, looking around.
He scoffed, shutting the door. "Come in Audrey," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's not enough you leech me of every dime you've also gotta leech my time too?"
Audrey crossed her legs. "I dunno. Do you not leech your fortune off the poor and avoid taxes, while you fuck some bimbo on a yacht on a 'vacation' like you've ever worked for anything in your life?"
Alexander blinked. "Fucks sake."
"That's a yes," she grinned.
Audrey took in the sights of his home. It was...bland. Expensive, and coordinated but nothing of note. No personal photos, no sign of hobbies, just papers stashed this place and the that. His dark hair was down now, messy, framing his face.
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"Did you consider what I said?"
He'd turned his back to her, arming his alarm system. "I told you, Audrey. I'm just too old for you—"
He turned around, finding Audrey in front of him, he'd brown eyes peering up at him.
"You give me every thing else. I'm not a kid, Steel. I'm not a kid, and I'm not your kid. I just—" she turned around, wrapping her arms around herself. "I uh...I fucked that kid. So you wouldn't get any ideas about me wanting you to take my virginity or something—"
Alexander frowned, turning her around. "What?" He hisseed.
Audrey licked her lips, her eyes darting away from his intense gaze, his brows furrowed in anger.
"Why would you do that, Audrey? Do you know what gave to some stupid kid? Just to tell me that? Huh?"
Audrey looked between to his eyes. "What do you care? You said it's weird right? To even think of me like that." She closed her eyes. "You know what...I'm sorry I shouldn't have come. You...you told me no, and...I should've respected that."
Alexander grabbed her hand, stopping her. "Listen...I know you think that this would be simple. You hate me, and I...barely tolerate you. But sex complicates things in a very unique way, Audrey."
His voice washed over her like sin. Why was it so smooth, and deep with that light rasp?
"Someone is going to start having feelings. And...it's probably not gonna be me. I can't return those feelings for anyone. I'm just not capable. You're going to get hurt, Audrey."
Audrey pulled away, frowning. "Since when do you care if I get hurt? My life has been fucked since the beginning, didn't you tell me that?"
Alexander didn't love to be around Audrey. She was rude, abrasive and half of the time she was insulting him. She reminding him of his guilt and for that, he despised to be around her, to feel that dull ache of humanity that capitalism had almost completely crushed.
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But he knew better. It was such a naive statement. Just sex. There was no such thing. She didn't understand that, a testament to why this was never gonna work.
"Maybe so," he sighed, "Audrey listen. There are plenty of men looking for what you're looking for. I'm just not a candidate. You're my responsibility, remember? My investment. I'm telling you...I am not a stock wanna choose."
Audrey nodded, and turned around. "But you're not a good enough person to stop me, are you?"
He looked away, letting her hand go. She reached out, touching his face. "Because it's an easy score. And you're a businessman. Even though you have a persona, an illusion of humanity, there's nothing really there, is it?"
His lips turned up, his gaze dull. Her fingers hesitated over his chest. His large hand closed over her wrist, pressing them against his skin, over his tattoo.
"I guess not," he mumbled, putting his hand around her waist, and pulling her in. "Not enough to stop you. Not enough to say no. But enough to warn you. Even if we kept fucking for 20 years straight. I am not going to love you. I can't."
She shrugged. "I didn't expect anything else of someone like you."
He scoffed. She wasn't the first. They all went in with the illusion that he was awful and they could never. And then they did. They always did. It was probably the soft, but meaningless touches. Gestures he never meant as more than they were.
Her lips pressed against his neck. Alexander pulled her shirt off her body, discarding it on the floor. She was right though. If he were a better person, he'd turn her away. He'd listen to his instinct, to the dull ache, telling him stop now, before she got hurt. But the way her cleavage shimmer, and her lips glistened, her eyes sparkled.
He leaned down, stopping before their lips touched, shuddering. "It's okay to stop. We can just go back to—"
She smashed her lips against his, drawing a grunt from her. His arms around her waist, picking her up off the floor, holding her to his chest. She shimmied out of her jeans.
Alexander panted, pulling her panties down, carrying her to the bed. "Was he big?"
"What?"
He chuckled. "Your little boyfriend?" He asked, an edge in his voice, as he threw her down. Audrey shrugged, nervousness creeping under her skin.
"I dunno."
"It's probably gonna hurt," he murmured, slotting himself between her legs. "It may hurt a lot. I'll be careful. I'll go slow. Listen to your body. I'll listen to you."
Audrey looked between his eyes. He had freckles on his shoulders. So human, for how much of giant he seemed. Her fingertips dusting them, her breath catching in her throat. He moved down her body, putting her thighs on his shoulders. Audrey stared at the ceiling in fear.
Maybe she wasn't ready. Maybe he was right—
The warmth of his breath at her entrance cut off the thoughts in her head. Her eyes shut tight. Different. His tongue explored her, coaxing desire from her. The dull throbbing that she started with was now a raging ache, as he took her to pleasure with his mouth expertly. When he was done, he poised himself at her entrance.
For a moment, they just looked at one another in disbelief. Was this really happening? Were they really going cross this line?
Alexander jolted forward, burying himself to the hilt, and waiting, going still, drawing a cry from Audrey's lips, and a small tear. He kissed her cheek, and kept still.
"Take your time. Let me know when the pain subsides," he whispered, playing with her hair, looking between her eyes. He peppered small kisses on her face, smiling so softly at her.
She thought she understood. In an instant, his soft touch, it felt like he cared. She reminded herself he didn't.
"I'm ready," she whispered.
Alexander nodded, setting a gentle pace. Her eyes welled up. This wasn't a good idea. She could already feel herself getting weak.
He was right. Fuck her, he was right.
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