(But i am sorry i lost it :"()

Laying lazily on my hotel's bed I was continuously changing my sided as sleep was nowhere to come when I got to remember about the guy who just kissed the officer and then his coins. It's still present in my hand bag.

"huph mai kiyoun soch rahi hoon us k baray main"

(Why am I thinking about him)

I mounted to myself

Your'e thinking about him because he gave you coins taking you as a begger.

so what's the big deal it must be a mistake anyways begger here are clean as well. Some are playing guitars some plays piano if I find him again I'll return it. And you'll return it only if you leave this room

Why will I go out from this room, I am here to work not on vacations its acity of lovers anyway and I don't have one so.

really....!

Just a thinking created a full war between my heart and mind and stretched it to another level, I even myself couldn't understand the last part

"kia waqai mere paas koi pyar karnay k liye hai jis k sath mai ye sehar ghoom sakoon?"

(do I really have a lover with who I can explore this city?)

I asked myself gazing my baby Anaya who was clapping her hands seeing the cartoon

"Anaya..."

I mounted myself happily and moved myself to her asking her happily

"Anaya will you visit Paris with mama?"

listening to me carefully she planted a kiss on my head and said in her baby tune

"Yayaya yayaya"

Listening she is also ready I smiled widely and handing my hand bag and carrying my baby in my arms I walked out to explore Paris before my new job starts tomorrow.

Just stepping out of the building I got to see the beauty of Paris all tall and amazing, yeah talking about the Effie tower

"omg such big tower"

I mounted seeing and then gazed to my daughter who was halfway seeing.

Her mouth was all open in an 'o' shape and I smile seeing her liked this. I waited for her to get a complete view of it and then moved to the opposite side of the Effie tower.

Walking and walking and walking my tummy starts aching me badly and from that I got to know I haven't eat anything yet. Walking more I was finding any halal place or something when I found one. Sitting on the outside table and ordering just a chicken sandwich with a coke I waited for my order and moved my head here and there.

"Wait...I know this place...."

I mounted to myself and then started trying to recognized the place

"oh my god!!!"

I mounted remembering. Shifting my baby's gaze toward me I speak up to my daughter

"Anaya see ye wohi place hai jo mummy nay tv pe daikhi thye queen movie mai jab kangna aunty nay kachi fish order ki thye and then khai thye... yaad aya?"

(Anaya see it's the same place from the movie queen, remember when I showed it on TV where kangna aunty ordered an uncooked fish, and she ate it)

I asked my baby but she was like null

"aray baba daikho na yahan se bhi Effie tower dikh raha hai,bilkul issi table pe bethi thye kangna aunty ab aya yaad"

(Oh my see baby I can see effie tower from here it was the exact table kangna aunty sat on, remember now?)

"ma'am your order"

The waitress came holding mine order and I smiled inner mounted

Main bhi na bachi say puchnay lag gai,pagal hoon mai bhi

(What am I asking a kid about this, seriously I am stupid)

As my sandwich came I filled the bottle with milk and handed it to Anaya. The place was all silent and I was enjoying the silenced as my whole 5 years of marriage goes with this silence, picking my sandwich with my both hands I make it near my mouth and was about to eat

"Harjaiyaan! mila woh hone ko juda kyun "

(The cruel one! Why you met me when you wanted to be apart)

someone started singing no actually started shouting and made all of the people scared. But what happened to me was most horrible, whole my sandwich touched the ground and hugged it making me to die for food once again standing up with anger I gazed the man sitting next to me who's eyes were still close and who was singing the song.. Gazing him I got to remember

"yeto wohe kameena hai......"

(He's the same bastard)

Plugging in the headphones I walked out to the streets of Paris to enjoy the night alone in this dark night, where nobody knows who I am and nobody will be like OH MY God RH RH

Well it's very awkward if I'll be telling someone I can't walk if I won't listen any sad song well but it's one big default in me now a days. Walking on the known streets I played one of the songs 'my Sam' loves the most Harjaiyaan from Queen

Saaye saaye phirte hain jidhar mudoon

Baithi hai ruswaiyaan bhi uske door

Hoo behela phusla ke

Khudko naseehatein karoon

Jhooti moothi si tooti phooti si

Ho dhundhli dhundli si

Main toh idhar-uhdar

Phiroon roothi roothi si

(Wherever I turn, I can see only shadows

Even grief is upset from me and sitting someplace far

I whisper and try to advise myself

(Advice)Of a false kind, (advice) of a broken sort

Like a faded (distressed) person, I roam around here and there

Being upset)

The song started with my walk making me actually to walk slower than normal, today the song was making me extra sad as I met 'my Sam' a day before and she was all behaving as she don't know me and I was all begging her to be back in my life. one day she will and I know it she will

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi mujhe woh gaya kyun

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi mujhe woh gaya kyun

(That cruel one!

Why did he meet me when he finally wanted to be separated (from me)

These shadows

Are the only thing that he gave me and went x2)

I crossed the same road which I once crossed with my love happily hand in hand and here I am all alone listening her favorite song making her alive with me.

Kandhe yeh bhaari se

Dinko dho nahi paate aahan

Chunti rahun main yeh lamhein

Gir kyun hain jaate aahan

Kyun bunti main raahun kismat ke dhaage

Kyun khud hi main chiloon

Ho udhte udhte reham se

Main minnatein karoon

Jhooti moothi si toothi phooti si

Ho kisko ab yeh padhi hai

Main ukhdi ukdhi hoon roothi roothi si

(These shoulders are not able to carry the weight of the day

I am choosing moments and they keep on falling

Why do I keep weaving

These strings of my destiny

Why do I scratch myself?

Why do I keep pleading my dismayed ego?

(Pleading) Of a false kind, (pleading) of a broken sort

Who cares anyways how lifeless I am nowadays?

Being upset)

"hayat what are you doing in public"

"okh stop it hayat"

"hayat what are you trying to do"

"masti baby masti issay masti kehtay hain"

(Fun baby fun we call it fun)

I remembered the old days of mine which I spended with my love here in Paris which were making me sad here when I am alone.

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi mujhe woh gaya kyun

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi

Mujhe woh gaya kyun gaya kyun

(That cruel one!

Why did he meet me when he finally wanted to be separated

These shadows

Are the only thing that he gave me and went

Why did he go?)

As I'm not the one who will leave everything for a girl and cry my heart out alone sitting in a room but her old memories were making me cry and to make myself relax I grabbed one of the seat from an unknown restaurant and tried to sing the lyrics

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

(That cruel one!

Why did he meet me when he finally wanted to be separated)

I just started singing when one of the waiter from there came holding me and through me out of that place where I saw that...

umm kia naam tha

(umm what was the name)

Kameeni yeah Kameeni "hey kameeni"

(Bitch yeah Bitch "hey bitch")

I mounted waving a hi at her but she completely ignored me

Kamal hai mujh jaisay handsome banday ko ignore kar dia doosri hoti to ghar le jati... Ghamandi kaheenki

(Wonder full how can she ignore a handsome guy like me, if it some else she probably would've taken me home. Rude person)

The curtains were moving with the wind wave showing me the shades of sun directly to my eyes which makes me awake so fast.

"Yesterday's night was fun"

I mounted to myself while stretching and yawning when my eyes fell on the front clock.

"its 8:30... shit"

Getting up as quickly as I can I only brushed my teeth and made Anaya ready First as I have to leave this place and want to shift to the place with my all luggage and want to shift myself to the new apartment which my company have hired for me.

Making Anaya to see a cartoon I get in to the washroom just to change the cloths only. Applying a little makeup to look fresh I leave the place just in 15 minutes making one of the hotel's man to hire a cab for me I waited for it while clearing my left bills here when the cab came and took me to the place where I want to go.

'Samyat care' was the place where I wanted to go

My journey was all bored and unhappy as I didn't knew the language which people were speaking here and what my cab driver's was singing.

the place come just in some 15 minutes and I was 10 minutes late here in the office with all my luggage and my baby, well the man who interviewed me allowed me to take my baby with me so Anaya was all the time with me

Coming in I found all the eyes on me as I was the weird kind here wearing shalwar kameez when all of them were in western wear.

Sitting on one of the desk who had my name there I waved the lady there and she smiled

"New here"

she asked

"Yeah applied for my assistant job here I'm late"

"Well you are not the boss is not here yet"

She replied chuckling and soon got busy in doing her work and me have nothing to word took care of my baby while reading a little about us on the site given.

2 hours later the same girl said me to come with her as our new boss is here and want us all in conference room specially me as I'm his new assistant.

I walked in the room behind the girl as I don't know the place yet

getting in all the people settled themselves at the places leaving me to sit at the right side of my boss's chair, moving my gaze here and there I was taking the view of the building when I saw the same man coming that

kameena (Bastard)

"Good morning ladies and gentleman I'm the boss here R.H"

He said while entering and I tried to hide my face with a file.

"Rehan Hayat is my name and here is my assistant"

He then gazed me and the conference room become all silent until that kameena (Bastard)

speak again

"array kameene tum"

(Hey Bitch you)

(Hungry)

Laying lazily on my hotel's bed I was continuously changing my sided as sleep was nowhere to come when I got to remember about the guy who just kissed the officer and then his coins. It's still present in my hand bag.

"huph mai kiyoun soch rahi hoon us k baray main"

(Why am I thinking about him)

I mounted to myself

Your'e thinking about him because he gave you coins taking you as a begger.

so what's the big deal it must be a mistake anyways begger here are clean as well. Some are playing guitars some plays piano if I find him again I'll return it. And you'll return it only if you leave this room

Why will I go out from this room, I am here to work not on vacations its acity of lovers anyway and I don't have one so.

really....!

Just a thinking created a full war between my heart and mind and stretched it to another level, I even myself couldn't understand the last part

"kia waqai mere paas koi pyar karnay k liye hai jis k sath mai ye sehar ghoom sakoon?"

(do I really have a lover with who I can explore this city?)

I asked myself gazing my baby Anaya who was clapping her hands seeing the cartoon

"Anaya..."

I mounted myself happily and moved myself to her asking her happily

"Anaya will you visit Paris with mama?"

listening to me carefully she planted a kiss on my head and said in her baby tune

"Yayaya yayaya"

Listening she is also ready I smiled widely and handing my hand bag and carrying my baby in my arms I walked out to explore Paris before my new job starts tomorrow.

Just stepping out of the building I got to see the beauty of Paris all tall and amazing, yeah talking about the Effie tower

"omg such big tower"

I mounted seeing and then gazed to my daughter who was halfway seeing.

Her mouth was all open in an 'o' shape and I smile seeing her liked this. I waited for her to get a complete view of it and then moved to the opposite side of the Effie tower.

Walking and walking and walking my tummy starts aching me badly and from that I got to know I haven't eat anything yet. Walking more I was finding any halal place or something when I found one. Sitting on the outside table and ordering just a chicken sandwich with a coke I waited for my order and moved my head here and there.

"Wait...I know this place...."

I mounted to myself and then started trying to recognized the place

"oh my god!!!"

I mounted remembering. Shifting my baby's gaze toward me I speak up to my daughter

"Anaya see ye wohi place hai jo mummy nay tv pe daikhi thye queen movie mai jab kangna aunty nay kachi fish order ki thye and then khai thye... yaad aya?"

(Anaya see it's the same place from the movie queen, remember when I showed it on TV where kangna aunty ordered an uncooked fish, and she ate it)

I asked my baby but she was like null

"aray baba daikho na yahan se bhi Effie tower dikh raha hai,bilkul issi table pe bethi thye kangna aunty ab aya yaad"

(Oh my see baby I can see effie tower from here it was the exact table kangna aunty sat on, remember now?)

"ma'am your order"

The waitress came holding mine order and I smiled inner mounted

Main bhi na bachi say puchnay lag gai,pagal hoon mai bhi

(What am I asking a kid about this, seriously I am stupid)

As my sandwich came I filled the bottle with milk and handed it to Anaya. The place was all silent and I was enjoying the silenced as my whole 5 years of marriage goes with this silence, picking my sandwich with my both hands I make it near my mouth and was about to eat

"Harjaiyaan! mila woh hone ko juda kyun "

(The cruel one! Why you met me when you wanted to be apart)

someone started singing no actually started shouting and made all of the people scared. But what happened to me was most horrible, whole my sandwich touched the ground and hugged it making me to die for food once again standing up with anger I gazed the man sitting next to me who's eyes were still close and who was singing the song.. Gazing him I got to remember

"yeto wohe kameena hai......"

(He's the same bastard)

Plugging in the headphones I walked out to the streets of Paris to enjoy the night alone in this dark night, where nobody knows who I am and nobody will be like OH MY God RH RH

Well it's very awkward if I'll be telling someone I can't walk if I won't listen any sad song well but it's one big default in me now a days. Walking on the known streets I played one of the songs 'my Sam' loves the most Harjaiyaan from Queen

Saaye saaye phirte hain jidhar mudoon

Baithi hai ruswaiyaan bhi uske door

Hoo behela phusla ke

Khudko naseehatein karoon

Jhooti moothi si tooti phooti si

Ho dhundhli dhundli si

Main toh idhar-uhdar

Phiroon roothi roothi si

(Wherever I turn, I can see only shadows

Even grief is upset from me and sitting someplace far

I whisper and try to advise myself

(Advice)Of a false kind, (advice) of a broken sort

Like a faded (distressed) person, I roam around here and there

Being upset)

The song started with my walk making me actually to walk slower than normal, today the song was making me extra sad as I met 'my Sam' a day before and she was all behaving as she don't know me and I was all begging her to be back in my life. one day she will and I know it she will

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi mujhe woh gaya kyun

Harjaiyaan mila woh hone ko juda kyun

Parchaiyaan deke hi mujhe woh gaya kyun

(That cruel one!

Why did he meet me when he finally wanted to be separated (from me)

These shadows

Are the only thing that he gave me and went x2)

I crossed the same road which I once crossed with my love happily hand in hand and here I am all alone listening her favorite song making her alive with me.

Kandhe yeh bhaari se

Dinko dho nahi paate aahan

Chunti rahun main yeh lamhein

Gir kyun hain jaate aahan

Kyun bunti main raahun kismat ke dhaage

Kyun khud hi main chiloon

Ho udhte udhte reham se

Main minnatein karoon

Jhooti moothi si toothi phooti si

Ho kisko ab yeh padhi hai

Main ukhdi ukdhi hoon roothi roothi si

(These shoulders are not able to carry the weight of the day

I am choosing moments and they keep on falling

Why do I keep weaving

These strings of my destiny

Why do I scratch myself?

Why do I keep pleading my dismayed ego?

(Pleading) Of a false kind, (pleading) of a broken sort

Who cares anyways how lifeless I am nowadays?

Being upset)

"hayat what are you doing in public"

"okh stop it hayat"

"hayat what are you trying to do"