Standing by the window I was shedding mixed tears of happiness and sadness after hearing the voice mails and messages....

I was happy inside hearing Hussain's voice thinking he cared for me but all the happiness just got vanish from the last voice mail he send....

He was....he was literally crying. Listening to him cry. I cried along for making my husband this weak. He never cried... but he cried for me, he cried for Anaya...

This was enough to prove me that he loves me and our daughter Anaya. Somehow I was feeling guilty for making him like this, for making him this weak. What he did to me was fine. He was stressed at that time. I should've understand him... but I didn't.

I was all in my thoughts when I felt presence around me. The presence was of Hussain ... my husband. Before I could move or do anything he came closer to me and hugged me from back and I stayed the same

"huss...."

"I'm sorry Amaya" and again before I could speak he cut me in the middle and spoke... no actually he apologized and started speaking what was inside his heart.

" Amaya, I didn't mean to do that I'm Sorry. But seeing you here I got carried away with my anger and just did the worst thing to you"

I found his voice cracking so to make him relax I moved my hands from his which were up on my stomach and he spoke again.

"Amaya, mai bohot dar gaya tha. All saray news channels tmhare aur sidharth kay bare me bakwas bata rahay thay aur...aur phir... phir police ne mjhse kaha kay unhain 2 dead bodies mili ..."

(Amaya, I was so scared. Every news channels were show crap about you and sidharth, and...and then...then the police told me that they found 2 dead bodies...)

I felt his grip tighten around my stomach when he was speaking the most painful part... and he spoke again

"Amaya mujhay unhai...unhain daikhnay jana para tha"

(Amaya I had to... had to confirm them)

he said and I feel the right part of my neck a bit wet.

OH MY GOD! Hussain is crying

My inner voice alerted me and I quickly turned around and hugged him tightly right at that moment he busted out his tears and started crying hard repeating the same words

"main dar gaya tha Amaya... mai bohot dar gaya tha"

(I was scared amaya...I was so damn scared)

"Hussain shh...please don't cry please I'm sorry for putting you in this situation... I'm really sorry" I spoke to my husband making myself cry more.

He gripped on my waist tightly meanwhile I gripped around his neck and we stayed there like this for don't know how long, staring him like this all broken and shedding tears I cursed myself for doing this to him and then at that time I promised to myself inner self.

I promised myself not to leave him in any situation until he say me to leave.

Stopping the beeping sound of my alarm I woke up seeing the most beautiful face beside me, I smiled seeing him like this relaxed moving quickly to the kitchen after getting myself ready I helped Shifa in making of sehri *food before fasting* with a lots of talk and soon we got busy making our husbands awake.

This will be the first time I'll be spending Ramzan with my whole family... Shadi hoty he Hussain k sath shift hona tha Mumbai

(after our marriage i had to shift in Mumbai with hussain)

it was not the easiest thing but it was for his bright future.

And now seeing him reaching the stars I'm happy for what we sacrificed,

Going near to my sleeping hubby I shook him twice, thrice and he all replied with the "hmm"

"hussain uth jayen...sehri ka time hogaya hai"

(Hussain wake up... it's time for sehri)

I spoke and he again replied with the "hmm." Getting the idea what I should do I whispered in his ears

"Hussain Abba arahy hain hamary room ki taraf"

(Hussain father is coming towards our room)

And with that he quickly opened his eyes and jumped out of the bed and with two big steps I saw him closing the door of wash room.

I laugh a bit seeing the childish side of my husband and he came out saying

"jhuthi...abhi sirf 3:30 horahe hain sone ka time ha ab bhi "

(liar... it's just 3:30 I still have time to sleep)

"No you don't... sehri kon karega?"

(No you don't...Who will do sehri then?)

I argued and he just walked to me hugging me tightly he jumped to the bed making me fall on him.

"Hussain yeh..."

(Hussain this...)

I tried to speak but he cut me halfway by saying

"sh... so jao, Allah Allah Allah Allah"

(sh...sleep, Lord Lord Lord Lord)

He said and patted my head from his free hand to make me sleep. I actually loved this moment of our life... I got remembered the old days when we were newly married couple.

He was the same jolly kind of person like he is now...I was getting lost in his love... in his heartbeats I was hearing, in his scent slowly deeply when I heard Abba's (Father's) voice calling my name. My eyes shot opened and I quickly moved from hussain. Even hussain got up and before father he came in.

"amaya beta sub hogaya to ajao roza rakhna hai k nahi hmm?..."

(amaya if you are done then come wanna fast or not hmm?)

He questioned to me when Hussain replied taking a chance to talk to his dad.

"Don't worry we will be coming downstairs in 5 minutes" he spoke and just got a glare from him, no word nothing just one disguised look and he started walking out of the room.

"maaf nahi karengay abbu ap mujhay"

(you won't forgive me dad?)

Hussain spoke but he nor listen nor stopped... as if he didn't heard

seeing Hussain's sad face I quickly got nearer him and speak softly

"abbu"

(dad)

"Abbu maaf kar dijeye na Hussain ko "

(father forgive hussain please)

Listening this. His lit up face shows anger again and I continued

"Main bhi maaf kar chuki ap bhi kar dijye. Itne saal bad apka beta ghar aya hai..kisi nay theek tareqay say galay tak nahi lagaya ussay khushi se...mere liye maaf kar dejye please"

(I already forgave him dad, you should also forgive him, your son came back home after so many years nobody even hugged him with happiness... forgive him for me please)

I was in the middle of talking waiting for dad to speak when Hussain came out and spoke.

"abbu, mujhay maaf krdein"

(dad, forgive me)

"bus ek baat yaad rakhna Hussain, Amaya bhi humary liye bilkul waise he hai jaise Maha hai"

(just remember one thing hussain, amaya is just like the person we consider maha as)

He spoke and left the room leaving us two alone there.

At the dining table all was ok everybody talks with Hussain, ami (mom) shower all her love on him like he always said mama loves me more, we all were together like a happy family.

Dad. Shehry and Hussain went to mosque to pray fajar and we all ladies including Maha prayed at home together...

It's sure a blessing of Ramazan that we all are together, I was doing the plates alone when I found Shehry going to his room and I called him to stop, he stopped.

"Thank you" I just said first and he make a confused face. Seeing his confusion I spoke.

"...For making everybody talk with Hussain" listening to this he smiled

"jub biwi ho razi, to ham qoun dein ussay phansi"

(when wife is ready, then why would we hang him on rope)

He said twisting the real idiom and I smiled at my jaith (brother-in-law)... well he is more like my brother...

"Roza lag raha haina"

(feeling the fast right)

"No sain"

" jhut na bolo lag raha hai"

(don't lie I know it does)

"Nooooo... I'm ok"

"Maha moti (fatso) just don't try to lie I know you are hungry, wait hey... did you actually fast or laying to us"

Here I am teasing my only younger sister and seeing her hell of irritated from me and here it comes.

"Mamaaaa..." she spoke making my ears pain from her loud shout

Well I don't find mama anywhere but then Amaya came out of nowhere and quickly spoke.

"Maha barish horahi hai"

(Maha its rainig)

She said and the door was closed in a blink of eyes, Maha even got vanished from her placed at the same time and then I found Maha Amaya along with Shifa enjoying the rain in the Backyard.

Soon Shehry came out giving company to Shifa and Maha, Amaya made up a Jodi and started dancing with the horrible bhangra and other steps on my movie songs. I also moved to the rain calling them in as they all will be sick after this but then Amaya said NO to come like a little child...

Seeing her happy my inner side was happier and then I also moved out to the rain... making myself wet for my family to have fun with them.

Mom dad were settled on the side seeing all of us happy dancing in rain. Zaviaan was still sleeping but I found my baby Anaya coming out of the door chirping happily... mama got her to make her sit on her lap but she was continuously staring towards me.

Whenever I gazed her, she opened her hands as she do when any of us come to hold her. Knowing she want to come in this rain I quickly moved to mama and took my angel in my arms and make her wet in the rain.

She clapped her hands chirping happily and I saw a smile automatically coming to my lips seeing her like this.

Don't know what got inside Shehry when he placed Anaya at the center and made a circle with all of us and shouted....

"oh nacho sary jee phad ke"

(oh dance as much as you want)

And we all literally danced crazily sometimes bhangra and sometimes other foolish steps. I just loving being with our family, being what I am showing what I am... no act nothing just me...