Alex's POV

"So, I know you all have been waiting a really long time to hear this, and I am very grateful for your patience. I know some of you had other plans for where I would be, but thanks for giving me a chance."

I look over to Wanda who gives my hand a squeeze, letting me know she's here with me, she has my back.

"Of course, Alex. We're just glad you're okay," Steve answers.

"Thanks Stevie Wonder. Anyway, as I was saying. I apologize ahead of time for anything I may say while reflecting back on these moments. They weren't fond memories and they bring up some shitty feelings. So be prepared." I take a deep breath trying to push back the tears. Fuck this. Why is this so hard?

"It's okay, Alex. You're good. We're just here to listen. It'll be okay."

I nod my head, kissing her forehead because I can.

"Okay, so I guess I should start at the beginning? I don't know if you already guessed it or not, but I'm originally from Hawaii. It's where I grew up with my parents, where I want to school, all of that good stuff."

Most of them nod their heads or offer some sort of acknowledgment.

"I loved my parents. We were always laughing and joking. It was so easy with them. We didn't have much, no one in the town did, but we were happy. In that home in that town, it was my favorite place, my safe place. Until it wasn't."

Just take a deep breath. This is where it gets hard. Just breath, don't think about them.

"So.. so I was about 10 when it all went to shit. Um.. it was a normal night as any. My parents and I had just finished dinner, I helped my mom clean up. We were going to watch a movie.

"Then.." fuck. Wanda rubs my arm, attempting to calm me down. Luckily she's my rock, so it works.

I just have to get out of my head. Not think about it as a memory, just a story I'm passing along.

"That's when they broke into our house. There were so many of them, from every direction.. we didn't.. My dad, he.. he tried to get me to run, to hide me. We had an escape plan. Which I didn't realize until much later that that isn't exactly normal." I chuckle slightly, trying to keep my tone light.

"But, our plan didn't accommodate for 15 guys swarming at us at once. Nor did it take into account that they'd have my parents captured before I could utter the word 'shit.' Which.. they shot them. Right there in our living room. Didn't even hesitate.

"My mom tried to say 'I love you' but um, they wouldn't let her. I guess they had a quick and painless death. But I had to witness it. And no child should ever have to do that."

This is where I drift off. I can tell myself a hundred times over to keep it tucked away, to not let the emotions surface, but then the image of them being shot, their bodies falling forward, the blood seeping into the carpet.. it all replays in my mind over and over..

"The gunshots.. kept ringing in my ears. I know it stopped their hearts, but it stopped mine, too. They were everything I had, and they were gone within seconds."

I look up and notice I must have said more than I thought of that out loud. Nat and Spencer both have tears in their eyes. Annnd so does Bucky and Clint.

"So I froze. The only time in my life I didn't know what to do. But what ten year old knows what to do when their parents had just been shot dead in front of them?"

Rhetorical question. Don't answer it.

"Anyway, my freezing and the fact that there was way too many of them lead to them capturing me and taking me back to their little hell hole.

"Which is where I found out my parents were some sort of secret agents trying to get information on hydra, very deep under cover. No, not for Fury. I guess hydra found out they were moles, sent agents to kill them. I was collateral damage." I wince, knowing it's what I called Wanda. "A bonus, for them."

And now on to the parts I've shoved so far back they hardly even existed anymore. I kept enough on the surface to tell the story. That's it.

"How did I find out they were some sort of double agent? Well, the lovely workers at hydra figured I knew something, so they tried to beat it out of me. Yeah, because parents tell their ten year old they're spies trying to take down some huge organization."

Fucking idiots.

"Eventually they figured I didn't know anything. Took the idiots long enough to realize it. But once they knew I didn't have any information, I was pretty useless to them.

"Until one of their crazy leaders thought I'd be a great test subject. Fucking Baron Strucker. And if you haven't drawn the conclusion yet, that's how I got my wonderful gifts." And this is where I demonstrate my powers. Just a little ball of fire does it.

"Any questions?"

They look around at each other, no one really speaking up-

Until, "uh, yeah." Tony raises his hand. "Why did you hate us? We worked against hydra."

I chuckle darkly, "oh, you naive, arrogant man."

"What?" He has the audacity to ask.

"Yeah, you went after hydra, alright. For the fucking scepter. All you did was ambush hydra bases looking for that one fucking thing. Didn't pay any mind to what else might have been there or any other hydra bases afterwards. Once you got what you wanted, you let the rest go, free to do whatever they wanted to whomever they wanted."

"That's not fair. We had no idea you were there," Tony tried to defend himself.

I scoff, "yup. Because if you found the two little twins, there clearly couldn't have been others tucked away in hidden places, right?"

"No one else was at that base. We looked. And all records said the rest didn't make it."

"I wasn't just talking about that base, Cap. They had other kids other places. I mean, hello? Lying is the least of the evil things hydra does. Not that it matters now. They used all of us for our skill set until we weren't useful. Kept torturing us and pushing our abilities until we broke."

"You knew about us?" I hear Wanda ask behind me. I close my eyes, I didn't really get upset like this when I was telling her. Didn't get to this point. Like I said, it hardly existed anymore.

"I knew of you. Of course we heard about the twins. You were their favorite. We could never live up to you, but they loved to make us try." I'm not trying to hurt her, it's just the truth.

"I am so sorry, Alex. We were told no one else survived. None of the other test subjects-"

I stop her right there, "I'm not blaming you. Not anymore."

"So you don't blame us?" Steve asks.

I grit my teeth. "I'm trying to let it go. Obviously I held on to that anger for a very long time. If any one of you had just thought for a moment to actually stop hydra, that maybe there was more to what you saw, then maybe I wouldn't- maybe I would have gotten out sooner. Found a home like Wanda did."

"We are so sorry, Alex. I know we can never make up for what we did, but if we could do it differently-"

"We would. Without a second thought," Clint cuts off Nats apology.

"I know it was never on purpose. I know now it wasn't as selfish as I thought. But it sure was hard to shake that. That anger fueled me. Everyday just sitting there. I had heard the twins got out. They got their anger out on us for losing their prized possessions. Or, myself. As by that point, months after the twins were gone, I was the only one left to make it. They didn't want to risk anymore of their projects escaping or switching sides, so they started training us harder. Most of us couldn't make it.

"I got my anger out, too. One day, as they were trying to expand my powers, I just- I let it all out. I lit it all on fire. Just- let it all burn. All of their research, their torture devices. They couldn't touch me. I was on fire. I knew I had a limit, it's why they kept trying to push me to go longer, I was going to reach it. They usually had some sort of control on me, but they took it off so I could be my full potential. Unlucky for them, I did."

I try to calm the anger, I got out. I'm not there, they don't have me. They can't touch me. They're gone. I destroyed their bases, they can't touch me. I'm not-

Wanda wraps her arms around my waist, I sink into it.

"If I didn't make it out that day, I didn't care. I couldn't be there any longer. I was going to take them out even if it meant I was gone, too."

"Wow." Clint's voice is low, but I still caught it.

Then there's silence. A silence that goes on far too long for my liking.

"So. More questions? No questions?"

"I.. I don't even know what to say, Alex. I.. can't say I don't regret not pushing further on hydra. We were mistaken to think of them as gone when we took down ultron. I'm sorry," Steve is very sincere.

"Fuck. I know I had it rough, but you were just a child. I- I can't even imagine. I am so sorry," Bucky is quick to respond. Soon enough they had all said some sort of apology.

"Alex.. I was an asshole. I shouldn't have jumped to those conclusions, called you what I did. I am so sorry you went through all of that, no one deserves that."

I swallow the huge lump residing in my throat, "uh, thanks guys. That means a lot. Apologies accepted." I guess?

"But.. I do have another question."

"Yes, Tony?"

"Were you just burning down the hydra bases out of anger or.."

"I never worked for hydra. Voluntarily. Once I escaped.. well I was pissed for awhile at just about everybody. But I knew they were still out there and my escaping along with the twins switching sides.. well, I knew they'd be looking for their next big thing. I couldn't let it happen.

"I started keeping tabs on them. Better tabs than your little shield club. Tracked down when they were making hand offs or trying to get new people. Then I would stop them, burn the building to the ground.

"With all of you thinking I was on hydras side, Pushing to look harder at hydras bases, knew it was only a matter of time before hydra figured out I was against them. And who I was. So, I went on a little spree. I finished what you never did. Maybe I haven't stopped hydra, but they are definitely headless at the moment."

"Okay. That checks out," Tony answers.

"I ended on the Hawaiian base because that's the building they kept after they took me, then burned my town to the ground. So yeah, that one was out of anger. It was never my intention to hurt any of you. Sure, I was taught you were the shit on my shoe, but you're still people that make mistakes.

"And um.. besides the fact that I thought you were worthless superheroes that only cared about themselves.. I was worried you'd try to use me for my powers. Only want me because I can control fire and teleport. Make me bend to their will with no freedom. Just like hydra."

"We would never.. if you wanted to join the team that's one thing. We'd want to help you, of course. But we are under no assumptions that you're going to just magically want to work with us. We don't use people here," Steve answers.

I nod, "I know that now. But at the time, before this one here," I nudge Wanda playfully, "I uh, didn't ever see how you were different than what I expected."

"Well, I am very glad you gave us all a chance. And I'm thrilled that you're making my little magical friend happy," Thor says, smiling at me. "I'd like to think of you as my friend, too."

"Me too, big guy. Me too," I wink at Wanda who blushes.

"Well. That was a lot. Alex.. I could never imagine going through all of that. None of our pasts are less just because we all have one. We've all seen blood and done things we aren't proud of. But we're all trying to do better, be better," Spencer says, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder.

"Thanks, Spence."

"So, how about we-"

"Woah. Okay, sorry everyone, but I am finally here!"

That damn voice.

I turn around slowly, seeing her smile before her eyes meet mine. Like deer in headlights.

"What the fuck is she doing here?"