Alex POV

It felt like hours of silence from Wanda after I let those words come tumbling out, so I was panicking.

Who the fuck asks someone to move in like that? It wasn't even something we've mentioned let alone talked about, and now here I am asking her to move all of her shit in with my shit?

Of course she doesn't know what to say. I put her on the spot and she has no idea how to let me down gently. Clearly this was a mistake. I shouldn't have even thought it, yet my dumbass said it out loud.

Not that I don't want it. Of course I want it. I want to be with her as much as possible. To get to wake up with her in my arms before I attempt to sneak away and make some awful breakfast for the two of us.

To spend our nights wrapped in blankets and each other as we watch some of our favorite series. Or dancing around our house as a random song played in the background, but we couldn't care less because all we focused on was each other.

OUR house. Damn that sounded good. It felt good, right. And I wanted that so badly with her.

But now I'm worried I ruined that and broke her in the mean time.

So I try to fumble out some words to back track what I said, "I mean like.. not actually. Like just for a few days? Like a get away? Or you know what, we don't have to. We can just move on and pretend like I didn't say anything."

I didn't say I'd be good at it.

But I'm finally stopped from vomiting up nonsense with a hand covering my mouth.

"Just stop talking?" She asked. But her hand was still on my moth so I just gave a gentle nod. She scans my face, or what she can see. "Did you mean it?" she whispers.

She lets her hand fall from my face so I can answer properly, "it's something I've wanted for awhile. To get off shift and know I get to come home to you? To make new memories in our house with you? It would make my house the home I've been wanting it to be. It would be everything to me." I grabbed her hands as I spoke, kissing one after I was done.

"Woah!"

And I'm being pushed back on the bed again. "Yes! Yes, I would love to move in with you!"

"Really?" Because most of the time dreams don't come true. And when you think they're real, reality comes crashing in, demolishing everything you thought you built."

"Yes!"

I need to be sure, "what about the avengers stuff?"

She waves it off, "I don't need to live here to be apart of the avengers. If they need me I'll be there. Tony doesn't live here all of the time and he makes it work. So we can stay at your house and, on the occasion, at the compound. But my home, our home, is each other. And I don't want to be away from home any longer."

Before I realize what I'm doing, I have us up and swirling around the room, the biggest smiles plastered on our faces. I slow us down, getting as close as I possibly can to lean my forehead against hers, "that was incredibly cheesy."

I'm lightly pushed back, but I don't even feel it. The sound of her laughter clouding my every thought, filling me with a high I will forever want to chase.

"Way to ruin the moment," she teases.

I shake my head, "nuh uh. I only made it even more special." And I kissed her. Because this amazing woman is my girlfriend and she just said she wants to live with me. That I'm her home. And there are no words I can articulate that could possibly express how happy that makes me.

And our giddy selves stayed with us through the whole night as we ate the soup and the snacks, burned through a season or so of a show, and laughed like I've never laughed with someone.

It seems illegal to be this happy with someone. Like at any moment the rug will be pulled and I'll be on my ass looking at the dark clouds, my sunshine taken away from me.

But I won't let that happen. We've both been through a lot. And I'm not letting anything take this away from us.

——————

So I'm panicking again.

I've been staring at the firehouse 11 shirt that has 'Maximoff' written on the back so I could 'officially' welcome her as a member to the family. Which is so damn cheesy. But I think she'll love that.

I'm running around my house like a mad woman trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing, what the heck I was thinking.

Yes, I'm trying to make room for all of Wandas things. But I'm mostly just pushing shit around as my head runs wild with how stupid this all is.

Hear me out.

Wanda, an avenger, is going to be living in my house. All the time. We'll be together all of the time.

And I know I want it, more than anything. But now that there's been a few days to process what I actually said and committed to, the reality of everything is sinking in.

No, I'm not afraid of commitment. If my track history shows anything, it's the opposite. They're the ones leaving me. So it's not..

Well, shit. I'm the common denominator here. What am I doing to push them away?

Shit.

I must be shitty to live with. That's when they all gave up on me. That's when all of my relationships went to shit.

Yeah, there's only been two. But does there really have to be more? How many times before something becomes a pattern?

I can't even focus on that right now.

Why?

Because.

Because.. there's so much she doesn't know. So much I've kept hidden. Not just form her, but from everybody. Yeah, from you, too.

Calm down. We practically just met.

For the most part, none of this has ever bothered me. It's safe to keep small parts of yourself hidden from people. Then they never truly know everything. They can't hold that over you or tear you apart with it. There's always a few pieces of you left over to mend together.

I know it's detrimental as well. Never fully giving yourself to someone. Never letting anyone fully in.

But it's safe. It keeps you safe.

Because giving everything over to someone means they hold all of the power. They have all of the information. And for someone to decide that they don't like all of you.. it's soul crushing.

And I'm even crazier because I want to share it all with Wanda. I don't want to have any secrets with her. I want her to have all the information because I trust it in her hands.

She's been through some shit. She's done some stuff she isn't proud of. We've talked about it. And I know that would have been a great time to come clean, but the scared cat that was living inside of me at the moment held my tongue.

And now here I am about to have an avenger move in with me and there's still so many things unspoken.

I can't do it. I can't live with keeping anything back from her. Not anymore.

And it might cost me everything. It might be the bag that breaks the camel. But how can I live with her and hold these secrets? She deserves to know. She can't commit to this anymore without knowing.

It's a risk. A big one. Because she could chew that information up and spit me out to the wolves. It's a possibility.

And as messed up as everything is, I trust her.

I trust Wanda Maximoff.

I trust her to take that information and love me still. I trust that she'll still want me. I trust that it will only bring us closer.

And since she is moving most of her stuff in here tomorrow, well, that doesn't leave me with much time to do so.

How do I say it? When? Should I make her a dinner first?

I have no fucking clue because I have never done this before.

No one else knows. I've kept this locked away in a tall tower guarded by lava and a dragon.

No one was suppose to make it to the top.

If all of this wasn't enough, I get a call.

One I don't want to answer right now, but I don't have a choice.

It's short. Not sweet. To the point.

And now I can't think about anything else.

Wanda will have to wait.

Because something bigger than myself and her and us is still going on in this world.

And I know they're the avengers and they save people.

But they can't save everyone. And they have to follow rules. And they can't break their nails unless it's on camera..

Sorry that was a bit of resentment still hidden in the back, there.

The point is, I have shit to do.

And you can't be there for it.

So kindly see yourself the fuck out.