Wandas POV

We were all quick to get back on the jet once we realized we weren't about to find anything here. I guess this person they're after is pretty good at making sure there's no real evidence.

Of course Nat and I exchanged some words about the whole 'Yelenas mission' thing. Ultimately we didn't really know. Clearly that must be the same person Fury had Yelena looking for. I'm surprised she wasn't here. But who knows, she's probably pursuing other leads.

Actually I haven't seen her in awhile.

The ride was rather quick, but I was still ready to just pass out when I got home. I had no intentions of doing anything else. The mental weight of everything that is going on is just exhausting. I no longer wanted to have to think or worry about what any of it meant.

The thought of there being an enhanced out there doing who knows what? Only makes me believe there's more of us enhanced than any of us could have imagined. And if they aren't on our side.. whose side are they on?

—————

Waking up the next morning I decided I would forget about the whole prospect of a new enhanced person possibly taking over hydra or whatever the hell else is happening and just let Tony, Fury and Steve worry about it.

I knew my girlfriend would be tired as hell from yesterday and I wanted to do something nice for her. Since she had to work today, I figured I would surprise her and her firehouse with some donuts. I know for a fact that Alex loves donuts and I'm sure the rest of the team will, too. Because who doesn't love donuts?

Don't answer that.

Once I was ready I made my way to the donut shop where I picked up the few dozens I ordered and then made my way to the fire house, my smile matching the sun today as I thought about getting to see Alex.

Trudy at the desk quickly greets me once I'm in the building, "oh, hello Wanda! Is um.. is Alex expecting you?" She acts kind of worried.

I brush it off, "no, I was actually hoping to surprise her and the team with some donuts!" I hold up the boxes for emphasis.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure they would all love that, but.."

"Did I hear donuts?" That would be Max.

I turn to her and do my best to open the top box, "you sure did. Would you like one?"

She looks at me bewildered, "is that really a question?" She then grabs a donut.

I laugh, "only a rhetorical one."

She takes a bite before speaking again, "so.. Alex knows you're here? She asked you to come?"

Why is everyone acting so weird? I've visited the firehouse before without her knowing ahead of time. This isn't exactly new.

"Noooo, I was going to surprise her. With donuts." This is quickly losing the excitement I had.

"Oh. Well, I'm not sure where she is but.."

That's when I see her dressed in her usual fire house attire. Her brows are furrowed and her gaze is focused in front of her.

I glance over her outfit one more time. She looks so damn good, I have to hold myself back. Also remembering the donuts and not wanting to lose those.

"Hey, baby!" I somewhat yell out to get her attention.

She stops dead in her tracks and turns to face me wearing a frown. "Hi. I didn't expect you to be here." Her tone is robotic, emotions seemingly having no place.

"Oh, well, I wanted to surprise you!" I say still excited and with my smile. Then I remember, "I have donuts!"

She hesitates, but I know the power donuts hold over her, so she reluctantly walks over to me grabbing two donuts once I open the box.

She takes a few bites. While she is enjoying the donut, I take a moment to study her face better. There's bags under her eyes. I can see a mix of pain in them, even as they stare distantly.

I look over to Max who offers me a sympathetic smile. Trudy does the same thing.

What the hell is going on?

Before I can ask, Alex speaks up, clearing her throat first, "thanks babe. I'll, uh, I'll see you later, okay? I have a lot of work to catch up on with.. everything."

She gives me a small smile before placing a peck on my cheek. Pivoting, she walks away without another word.

I'm left very confused as I watch her exit the same way she had entered.

"What..." I start.

Max is quick to take my arm and pull me into a separate room.

I wait expectantly.

She lets out a quick breath, "Wanda.." she searches my face, but I am so confused I have no idea what she's looking for.

"Yes?" Don't make me beg, here. I usually like to save that for Alex, and she prefers it that way.

"We.. the shift she picked up yesterday? She.. she was a little late. There was a huge explosion at a department building. We.. we tried to.. get everyone out. But.." she drifts off. She's pleading me to make the connection so she doesn't have to.

Unfortunately, I do.

"No.. she. You lost someone?"

Max hangs her head whispering, "yeah.. we just.. couldn't get to them in time before the building collapsed. She.. I know she's blaming herself right now. I.. I don't know what to do or tell you. A loss like this can really mess with someone. I know she's acting like she doesn't want you around but.. be there, Wanda. Wait until after her shift, maybe. But be there."

She's casting that same pleading look, and I understand once again. I nod my head confirming, "I will be."

—————

I take one last deep breath as I stand in front of Alex's door, bracing myself to see her.

She doesn't answer when I knock so I try the door handle, which opens easily. I roll my eyes at her lack of security.

After entering and locking the door, I call out, "Alex?" I start walking around when there's no response. Searching through the living room and dining room and kitchen, I find no one. "Alex?"

I know Max said she was sure Alex would head home after work, but maybe she stopped somewhere else.

That's when I spot her. Through the back doors I can see her with her feet in the pool. Once I grow closer I can hear the faint sound of music as well.

The beer bottle in her hand doesn't go unseen.

I gently open the door and walk closer, saying her name once I am.

She must be really out of it because she didn't hear or see me.

"Holy shit!" She just catches herself in time to not fall in the pool all the way under.

I let out a small chuckle as she hoist herself up, "sorry babe, I thought you would have heard me."

"The fuck.. you. Came out of no where! Like a damn ghost," she laughs at herself after slurring her words.

No..

"Hey, sunshine. Now that you scared the shit out of me, want to get naked?" She wiggles her eyebrows. It's so tempting. And she's adorable sitting there with her pants rolled up to her knees. The sports bra is a little more than distracting.

Focus back on the matter at hand.

"Alex, no.."

"Come on, Wands! I've missed you," she gives me a pouting face as she attempts to get up out of the pool.

Attempts. That just confirms it for me more.

After I grab her arm to stabilize her, "Alex.. you're drunk. I'm not.. we can't. Let's get you.."

She rips her arm from my grasp, "no."

She turns towards the house; I follow.

She's at least going the direction I want her to go. Being by he pool as drunk as she must be.. nope. She's making her way to the fridge and grabbing another beer.

I go to take it from her, but she's surprisingly too fast, moving it just out of my reach.

"Wanda," her tone has a warning to it.

"Alex, please. Let's just.. put in a movie, get some snacks, we can cuddle or.."

"No." Her tone is holding some finality to it.

She goes to walk back outside, but I can't let her, not when she's like this.

I flick my wrist, casting a red glow on the door and effectively stopping her from opening it.

She tries a few times before noticing, "seriously Wanda?" She seethes as she still looks at the handle, "let me out."

"No. You're drunk. You don't need to be by the pool when you're in this state. If you just let me help.."

She whips around, stepping right in front of me so fast I barely had time to react.

"I. Don't. Want. Your. Help."

The words hurt, but I know it's only because she's hurting.

"Maybe not, but I can help. If you let me. Please, I don't want you to be.."

"What?! Don't want me to be what, Wanda?" She backs up, waving her hands around.

I'm a little stunned.

"I.. I just want to help you! I don't want to see you like this!"

She scoffs, a sinister smile taking over as she shakes her head. "Well, Wanda, I hate to disappoint you, but maybe I want to be like this! Maybe this is who I am!" She tops it all off with a chug of her beer.

I feel the anger building in me, the fuel she always use to feed me. She wants to be like this? This is how she wants this to go? She thinks this is going to solve anything? Then, fine. This is who she is. I can match this. I can top this. She wants to hash it out, I can get into it..

And it's as I'm about to yell all of this at her that I.. I truly look at her, at the state she's in. Anger seems to be radiating off of her, I can tell by her posture, her stiffness, like she's ready to fight. But her eyes.. they're giving away the pain shes trying to hide. I see it. The way she's trying to drown it all out. I know she's trying to get a rise out of me. She wants this fight. She wants an excuse to push me away.

I'm not going to give it to her.

Instead I walk up to her slowly and watch the confusion take over her expression. "Wanda.."

And I pull her into me

She freezes at first. But I don't let go.

"I'm here, Alex. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you. You are not alone. You don't have to do this alone."

I hear the sobs briefly before I feel the tears on my shirt as she sinks into it, wrapping her arms around me.

"Wanda.. I. I could have saved them I.. if I had just.. if I was there on time.. I.."

I keep my arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back as I speak, "hey, no. Don't do that. Don't put the blame on yourself."

She brings her head up, "but it is my fault, Wanda. If I had just been there sooner.. I could have saved them. I should have saved them. I should have.." the break in her voice shatters me.

She's holding so much guilt over this.

"This isn't on you. You couldn't have known. You can't carry all of this. You did your best. Sometimes.. sometimes we don't get to save everyone. It sucks. But you've saved so many people.."

"Well, I should have saved this one, too."

I can sense she doesn't want to talk anymore, but she also stays in my grasp.

After awhile I take the chance, "can I get you some water? Then we can lay down? Watch a movie?"

I feel her nod her head so I slowly walk us over to the couch, placing her down before grabbing her water.

She drinks it down before laying on me.

I let her just lay on me.

"Hey Wanda?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry.."

"I know. It's okay."