Wandas POV

The words Alex spoke to me and their truth have been plaguing my mind ever since she spoke them.

And it's been more than a week.

Could she really be right?

We just sit around while of these bad things are happening around us and only decide to do something when it's a 'big enough' deal?

How much more could we be helping the community around us?

Even just helping clean up like we did the other day?

That shouldn't be a once a month pat on the back job. We should be doing it all the time. Most of the time only half of us are busy on missions.

And we only all get involved when it's something big.

So what's our excuse?

Or better yet, my excuse?

But then I also remind myself that we are doing good, we are making a difference. We have stopped some seriously crazy people from taking over this world.

Even if one of them was a brother to a team member and even he is a part of this team now.

Even if one of the monsters was created by a team member with goals of saving the world, but really giving it the want for world destruction.

Even if one of them was an old friend from back in the day controlled by a crazy group and he's a part of the team now, too.

So yes, we beat them. But we helped make them.

Ugh, I can't even argue with myself about it. I'm going in circles and the never ending headache I seem to have is enough to drive anyone mad.

I slump over in my chair, falling forward and resting my head on my arms.

Because even after she attacked me with even more viciousness, I still want to reach out.

I want to hear her opinion on what we're doing. How we could do better. How I can do better.

I want her to tell me why she hates us. It has to be deeper than us just not doing more.

But at the same time.

I can't.

It wouldn't get me any farther and she wouldn't want to see me.

Not to ruin anything for Yelena, either. I don't want to, I'm not going to. She's worked hard and I couldn't jeopardize what she's built

I just.. I don't know.

I don't want her in my head anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?" It's Nat. It's always Nat. Somehow she just knows.

I don't even bother to lift my head. I still don't think I can talk to her about this. The boundaries weren't exactly set and I don't want to make it awkward for anyone.

I could say she was there and we had some words, sure. But could I truly say why it's bothering me so much?

"I'm fine."

"I am offended that you even tried that bullshit with me. But if you don't want to talk about whatever has you moping around then.. fine."

I lift my head and narrow my gaze at her, feeling like there's some ulterior motive here.

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Why?"

"If you don't want to talk about it, I'm not going to make you."

"Okayy.."

"But you should do something. Whatever is bothering you, well,you don't want it to eat you up. It doesn't have to be me, but maybe you can talk to someone? Or go train for a bit? Or, I don't know. We could go to the gun range? Oo! Or smash therapy!"

I laugh at her excitement, "okay, it kind of sounds like you wanted to do things and you're using my moping as an excuse?" I mess with her.

"No! Well, kind of. They're things I have been wanting to do, but they could also help you with your stuff, too. It's a win win." She smiles.

I roll my eyes, but she already has me sold.

"Okay. What're we doing first?"

"Wait, you want to do all of it?"

I shrug, "sure, why not. Never know which one might help."

"Yes!" She throws her hands up in victory. "Let's start with training because throwing shit around always helps. Then I say we go to the gun range, and then to smash therapy."

"Okay. Sounds great to me.."

"And if you want to talk while we're doing any of it.."

"I will. Thank you."

"I will go get ready and meet you in the training room?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great!" She turns on her heels, starting off walking out the door.

I stop her, "hey, Nat."

She stops and turns to look at me, "yeah?"

"How long has it been since you've seen Spencer?"

"That.. is besides the point." She turns back around and continues her walk, "I'll see you in the training room in 20 minutes!"

I laugh as I watch her walk away.

That girl is so in love. It's adorable.

——————

"Okay, I wish I had your powers right now. That looks like an absolute blast!" Nat cheers after I just threw some dummy into the wall.

"I won't lie to you, it is insanely satisfying."

"We should train together more often."

"I completely agree. It would be a ton of fun to learn some of your signature moves to mess with the guys."

"If only you could teach me about your 'wiggle woos.' But I'll teach you anyway."

"Thank you, I'm very honored. And trust me, you would not want to get these powers."

She just looks at me for a second. I know. I went through the whole hydra thing..

But then we both laugh about it.

"I know I keep saying this, but thank you. For this. It really is helping."

"You're welcome. I know you can get a little in your head sometimes and need a little nudge to find your way back out."

Okay, that's too cute. And sweet.

"You're a good friend, Nat. I should tell you that more often."

She looks down at the ground, "Thanks Wanda. So are you." Am I though? "We really do need to hang out more. Outside of our double dates."

"We will," I assure her. And I do really want to have that friendship with Nat again.

"So.."

"I'm not quite ready to talk about it, yet. But I am having fun."

"That's all that matters, then. Are you ready for the next adventure?"

——————

"Okay, I may have magical powers, but you are an incredible shot. I think you're better than Clint." I can't help but admire her abilities.

I know we both got our.. abilities.. in ways we're not proud of. But we're doing something good with them. We are making a difference.

"Thanks. I'm not exactly.. proud, of what I can do because of what I've used the skills for in the past.. but I know I'm trying to fix that. I'm doing what I can."

"You are Nat. You're making a difference. Whatever you did in the past.. it's not you. You are an amazing person. I know for a fact I'm not the only one who knows that."

She takes a short breath and I can see her eyes are a little watery so I grab her hand.

"It's okay, Nat."

"Thanks, Wanda."

"Of course, Nat. What are friends for?" I bump her shoulder with mine.

"Ugh," she wipes her tears. "Aren't I suppose to be cheering you up?"

"You have been. That's the thing about friendships, we help each other."

Not us getting all sappy.

"Want to go smash some shit?"

I loop my arm around hers, "I thought you would never ask."

——————

"Now try the blender!"

I place the half broken item on the table and wind the bat back, ready to give this piece of junk a piece of my mind.

It gets smashed to smithereens.

"Yes! That was awesome!"

"It is crazy how fun it is to break things."

"I know. It's a freeing feeling. I get why people do this." Nat agrees.

"Shall we keep it up and smash everything to dust?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

And we did for about another 43 minutes.

The ground is covered in broken bits of TVs, plates, an older radio, that blender.

I never thought broken pieces could hold so much meaning. Because, even when something isn't whole, that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful.

Ugh. Nat really has me in my feels today.

Which, I guess, was her goal.

She knows what she's doing.

Not really wanting the day to end, I suggest we grab a smoothie afterwards. And also because they are delicious. And good for you. Another win win.

I got raspberry and Nat got blueberry.

"Mm. These smoothies were a fantastic idea, Wands. We should have more of them at the compound," Nat says as she sucks down the last bit of her drink.

"Yeah, this is really hitting the spot. We can grab some stuff tomorrow? Shouldn't be that difficult to make," I also finished my smoothie.

I've thought about this. I guess a part of me kind of knew I would tell her anyway. So I take a deep breath. I know this might make things a little weird. But if I can't talk to Nat about it, who can I talk to?