Graycen was very determined to get better than it made Taehyung too proud. Even though she despised taking the SSRI that Dr. Hansen prescribed her, she still took it. Graycen took psychoeducation classes to learn how to deal with her mental illnesses and improved on her diet.

"What're you doing?" Graycen asked in amusement as she was about to play the exercise DVD that Taylor bought her. "I'm about to work out and it's more than likely going to get really annoying."

"I'm joining you."

Graycen laughed at that because she couldn't tell if he was being serious, but Taehyung pulled off his shirt. Graycen had to force herself to look away and cursed herself mentally for looking. Graycen eventually pressed play and started to stretch as the instructor instructed.

It was like a competition between the two. Graycen felt the urge to push herself to the limits when she saw Taehyung effortlessly working out. They were midway through and Graycen felt like she was going to pass out after running in place. The instructor kept urging that the exercise had to have high knees.

"Okay, next exercise is push-ups!"

Graycen huffed, "I'm not doing a pushup. She's crazy." Taehyung only chuckled as he dropped to his knees. "You're actually doing the pushups."

"Yeah, why not?" Taehyung asked as he got in a pushup position. Graycen forgot how fit he was and his strength. "At least try it. Do like five of them."

Graycen rolled her eyes before she mirrored his movements. She ignored Taehyung's snickers directed towards her and just started. The first three weren't too hard, but the fourth one had her shaking.

"You better not fall!"

Graycen took a sharp breath in, "Shut the hell up!" Taehyung laughed at that as he continued to do his pushups. Even having the audacity to hold himself up steadily to show off. Graycen finally completed her fourth one and by the time she finished her fifth one, she was laid out on the floor. Taehyung chuckled then got up to stand by her.

Graycen eyed his questioningly when his feet moved by her head. "Uh?"

"We're going to do leg throwdowns," Taehyung told her as he looked down to look at her, "just hold on to my ankles." Graycen's hands reached out to his ankles even if she felt her heart jumping around. "I'm not going to make you do a lot."

"Okay."

Taehyung pushed Graycen to do twenty-five and she didn't feel the difficulty until the nineteenth one. Graycen panted as she threw her hands over her face to cool down. Taehyung gave her some time before he proposed that they did crutches.

They only made it to ten because Taehyung took pity on Graycen who was going to pass out any minute. During the last crutch, she raised up to his hand then fell on to the side. It was in a bit of an awkward angle because Taehyung's hands were holding her feet down.

"I'm going to get you water."

—

—

Graycen didn't know what to think of Taehyung. He was so encouraging towards her, even when she was on her worst days. After Graycen had Elise finish her tummy time on her lap, she started to walk around the apartment with Elise in her arms.

Taehyung was finishing up work in the living room. That day Elise was extra fussy and Graycen had to countlessly remind herself that everything was okay. It didn't seem like a good day for her anxiety at all and thankfully, Taehyung understood.

"She's having a hard time, isn't she?"

Graycen sighed as she looked at the agitated expression on Elise's face, "Yeah, I don't know why she's so fussy today."

"I'll take her," Taehyung offered as he placed his laptop down on the coffee table, "you should take a nap."

Graycen was going to protest, but her body ratted her out. She released a pretty long yawn before she handed over Elise carefully to Taehyung. "Did she eat already?"

"Yeah, are you sure you want to take her?" Graycen questioned. "I mean I can still-"

Taehyung looked at Graycen firmly, "It's fine. Go take a nap and I'll wake you up if I need you." Graycen wordlessly nodded, rubbing her daughter's hair before going into the nursery room. She still wasn't sleeping in her room, she felt connected to the nursery room.

Taehyung didn't say anything about it. He knows that the process of Graycen healing is baby steps.

Later that night, Graycen woke up in a pissy mood. It was one of her mood swings and she hadn't had one in weeks. Graycen sighed as she slowly got up from the sofa. She moved to the crib to see Elise sleeping peacefully with her mouth in a pout. Graycen leaned over to peck her forehead before leaving. She needed to step outside before she lost control of her emotions.

Taehyung, however, was on his laptop on the couch with a mug in his hand, looking at her. "Did you eat today?"

"I had yogurt for breakfast?" Graycen was getting restless of him being on top of her. "I just wanna go outside to collect myself."

"You need to eat."

Graycen felt her face heat up from embarrassment and her fists clench, "Taehyung, I need to go outside. I don't care to eat right now. Just- let me go outside." Graycen was tearing up because of sheer frustration, she was doing well for a while now. She didn't know why she was having a big mood swing. Taehyung just sighed and opened the door to his balcony. Graycen didn't waste her time on stepping outside.

She closed the sliding door halfway and slid down to rest her back against it. She took her time to relax her breathing like she was told by Dr. Hansen. The feeling was almost unfamiliar to Graycen because she'd gone long without having one.

She didn't track the amount of time she was out there staring at the view from ahead. Graycen knew it had to have been a while since Taehyung came out with a glass of water. "I made food, I don't know if you want to eat out here or?"

"Uh, out here is fine." Graycen took the glass of water from him before he turned away to get back inside. It felt like Graycen was watching a movie when she was outside. She loved watching people outside or watching the sky change, even watching the moon. Although the moon was just there in one place, she found herself staying serene watching it.

Graycen was halfway done with her water by the time Taehyung came out with two plates. Graycen grabbed the napkin and plate from Taehyung as he placed his plate down near her. "Do you want a refill of your drink? Didn't think you'd be so thirsty."

Graycen smiled lightly, "That'll be great." When Taehyung took her glass, Graycen used the time to think about what all of this meant. She was lost at how encouraging he was being, it was almost as if they weren't going through a divorce process. Graycen was confused because she didn't know hot to get over him. How was she supposed to when he was this kind to her?

Graycen's thoughts were interrupted when Taehyung came back with his cranberry juice and her water. Taehyung sat across from her with his back against the railing of his balcony. However Graycen didn't like that, she felt anxious at him sitting there. It was rare that he could've fallen over, but it was still possible.

"Don't lean against that," Graycen frowned, "something could happen to you." Taehyung paused from drinking his juice before moving against the sliding door. He left a great amount of space against the two. "How are you feeling right now?"

Graycen took time to think of how she was feeling. She was so used to lying and saying that she was okay; not only to people but to herself. Graycen shrugged, "I don't know. I feel- I don't know. It's so tiring and I was doing well and-"

"- hey." Taehyung sternly said to not hear Nichole tear herself down. "You are doing well and I want you to know that. You're handling things well, so what if you cry about it? So what if you have bad days? Graycen, that doesn't take away it all that you're a great mother and a great person."

Graycen shook her head, "No, you're just saying that. I'm not good at all. I'm not- Taehyung, I'm sorry. And-"

"No, I'm the sorry one." Taehyung turned his body all the way so he could look at her. "I was calling you crazy and I was disregarding all your behaviors. If I would've noticed sooner maybe this could've been avoided and I understand everything a lot better."

Graycen just sadly smiled and shook her head so she could look at him, "No Taehyung, you really just don't get it. Even if you did pay attention to my change of behavior, it wouldn't have worked. You can't help someone without them putting in the effort to help themselves. My mental illnesses aren't going to excuse everything I've done.

I know right from wrong. I just have trouble with reasoning and I can work on that. I know I shouldn't have left you and act like I was the only one suffering. Don't disregard your feelings because of me. You had every right to be pissed off at me and not want me anymore. I pushed you away and maybe it's for the best because- I'm a mess. I'm a mess and I'm a terrible person and I-"

"-Graycen.

"No, I just," Graycen threw her head back against the sliding door, "I'm so selfish and you have every right to know what I've done. I'm a murderer and I- I'm the one who killed Drew and it's all my fault. Everything is my fault and I should've said something, but I was so scared of you hating me. I couldn't have you hate me more than I hated myself then and I just. I drunk the bad water- I didn't know- I promise and I swear I didn't mean to kill him. I- If it wasn't for my needs I wouldn't have drunk the water and harm him and-"

Graycen cried even harder when Taehyung pulled her into his chest. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry. I'm only saying this now and I just- it hurts to keep it from you and-"

"Shh," Taehyung rested his chin on top of her head as she cried everything out, all the pain, "stop blaming yourself. I don't blame you, you didn't know. Stop it, just stop it." Graycen pulled on his shirt some more because not only was she hurting, she needed him more than ever. This was the most she ever connected with him in all her years of knowing him. "I don't hate you, okay? I don't."

Graycen must've tired herself out because she stopped crying, just held on to Taehyung weakly. It wasn't until Elise started crying that they pulled apart. Graycen was going to get up, but Taehyung shook his head.

"I've got it," Taehyung assured as he stood up to his feet, "the food is probably all cold, but try to eat. Just eat a little bit, please?"

Even if Graycen didn't want to eat, how could she say no when he pleaded like that. He was concerned if she missed any meals so she nodded and picked up the plate. Taehyung made sprouted quinoa and chicken marabella. Graycen knew that the only reason Taehyung made that was because of her postpartum diet.

She appreciated him by her side even if they weren't really in a romantic relationship anymore.

-

-

A week passed from the heart to heart and Graycen found herself getting closer to Taehyung. Although she was still confused, she pushed it aside. This was the happiest she ever felt in a long time. Graycen did have happy moments wherein a moment she was "happy," but this time she was. It's when she was consistently happy mentally, not only in short bursts. Not only because of her relationship getting better with Taehyung, but because of Elise.

Graycen was grateful for everything, grateful that she had the strength to get better control of her mentality, and grateful for how things were looking up.

Taehyung joined Graycen on her postpartum diet, her yoga, and her exercising. Now Graycen was joining him as he painted. They were in his room, they made sure they put on a little face mask on Elise.

"I need to make a burgundy color," Taehyung said with his back towards Graycen, "I know I need red and blue, but I forgot the other color I need."

Graycen was sitting on the edge of Taehyung's bed, watching intently. "You're going to need a brown color."

Taehyung hummed, "Okay, can you mix the red and green for me then?"

Graycen nodded, "Sure."

As Graycen was making her to the paint, she stepped in the wet paint on the floor which was white. "Taehyung, you're so messy at this! I stepped in the paint."

"Gotta watch where you're stepping." Taehyung chuckled which made Graycen smack her lips. "The best artists always make a mess."

Graycen chuckled at his remark as she carefully mixed the red and green paint, patiently. "What are you best at?"

"Beating you at yoga and exercising."

Graycen rolled her eyes as she handed Taehyung the paint she finished mixing which was brown, "Since when was that a competition?"

"That's what I should be asking you," Taehyung laughed as he took the paint from her, "every time I join your yoga and exercise activities you always try to one-up me. I know you hate it when I join in."

"Correction," Graycen raised a hand so she can make her point, "I hate it when you try to show off."

"How do I show off?"

Graycen almost shouted out, "Because you always try to show off your muscles and you try to just- I just-"

"- So you look at my muscles?" Taehyung pushed his lips out as he nodded. "Interesting."

"That's not what I meant!" Graycen cried out then moved towards the door. "I gotta go. Elise needs her fruits."

"But Elise doesn't eat solid foods yet."

"Ugh!" Graycen groaned, leaving the room. Then she turned around when Taehyung called out to her. "Yes?"

"I heard painting is good for easing anxiety," Taehyung said with a smile, "you should paint with me and let's test the "I'm not the best" theory, yeah?"

"We will."

-

-

And they did, the next day. Graycen and Taehyung painted the best they could out on the balcony. They had Taylor over who was spending time with Elise. She mainly came over to vent to Graycen about her failed relationship with the guy Graycen didn't like. However, she was surprised at the sight of Graycen and Taehyung in aprons and face mask.

Elise didn't question it, just took Elise from Graycen's arms and went straight to the nursery. The pair closed the balcony door behind them so the fumes didn't go inside.

"Let's paint!" Taehyung competitively said.

The theory was tested and Graycen proved Taehyung wrong. They spent three hours to paint, taking necessary breaks to check on Elise. Graycen turned out to have the best painting of flowers on a beach.

While Taehyung painted a picture of food.

"Why did you even make that?" Graycen was having a laughing fit. "Burger King?!"

"What?! I didn't expect you to do so well."

Graycen couldn't stop looking at his painting, "Wow Taehyung, wow. There are seriously no words. I mean I was good at art, how'd you forget?"

"I was only joking around and painting what came to mind," Taehyung tried to make more excuses, "don't judge me. I didn't think you'd take it that seriously."

Graycen placed her paintbrush down for it to rest to cross her arm, "Just give me my credit. I deserve my credit, no?"

"Fine, you do. Congratulations to Picasso's wife!"

Graycen did a little spin before looking at his painting again, "Is this your way of proposing we should break our diet."

"Hell no," Taehyung exclaimed which had Graycen laugh more, "no. You're staying- we're staying on that diet. No matter how much it hurts. I put cooked fruits with my chicken for that diet, I refuse to give it up now."

Graycen laughed even more. Even if Taehyung was a big competitor, he felt like he won, either way, seeing Graycen smile so wide that he was seeing the anatomy of her mouth. He loved seeing her happy and it felt like the old Graycen was slowly coming back, not the Graycen that got consumed from untreated anxiety and depression disorders.

-