Three years later, Eleanor Gordon published her anthology of poems titled 'Micah' that immediately sky rocketed to best sellers lists around the country. She used some of that money to go to school to become a social worker.

Here are some of the poems from that anthology.

12 years old is too young to know the taste of a cock,

But you didn't ask how old I was,

I don't think that you even cared.

Tell me, did it feel good to take everything from me?

Had my body, my tears, and my soul,

In the palm of your sweaty hand.

16 years old is too young to binge drink through my pain,

But if I was sober every time

You knocked, I'd have died by 18.

Tell me, could you smell the cheap alcohol on my breath

When you forced your nasty lips to mine?

Or how I slurred when I begged you to stop?

18 years old is too young to be left all alone

In a world full of monsters like you.

There are so many men like you.

Tell me, do you miss me now that I've gone away?

Miss my body, my tears, and my soul,

That you once held in your palm?

I am 22 now and I'm still too far too young.

But would I ever be old enough?

Age doesn't give you that kind of strength.

So I sit, left alone since eighteen, binge drinking like I learned at 16 to forget the cock that I first tasted at 12.

I remember one time,

I asked him why he did this.

Because I couldn't understand

How a human could not care

So much about the pain he caused.

He said, "girl, I'm just bored

Of the routine I've got here.

I go to work then I go home,

My wife nags, the children whine.

And with you, it all just pauses."

And I started to cry.

I didn't want to be just

a pause button on his remote.

Every time he pushed me,

My battery would drain some more.

I suggested some other

things that could interest him.

I said, "you could golf or play cards,

watch sports, learn to knit. But please,

Please just don't touch me anymore."

I thought that I could show

him how badly I was hurt.

I told him, "When you use me to

pause your stupid little life,

It's like I am stuck in rewind."

I could tell that he didn't

care all that much about me

Because he laughed and told me to

"suck it up, my little girl,

we're paused. And all we've got is time."

I never understood why I felt forgotten

Because to be forgotten, somebody must

have thought of you at some point.

But nobody ever thought of me.

I was not forgotten, I was just alone,

But I always felt like everybody who

was supposed to love me had

forgotten to love me somewhere down the line.

Alone at 8 years old is a scary place to be

And I didn't know where to go, I was lost.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

Just one tiny stupid girl against the big bad world.

But the moment—the very first moment

That I looked into his eyes, I didn't feel lost

anymore. I knew that I had a purpose

And it was to protect his eyes from what mine have seen.

So when things got rough, I wanted to run

but he wouldn't let me. He didn't do

anything on purpose, never asked me not

to leave like I wanted to. It was his eyes that made me stay.

He needed me like I needed somebody when

nobody was there. But for him, I was there

And I was the only one. I couldn't leave him

here alone. He would hate that place that I came from.

Eventually, he knew that when I was sad,

He'd see the tears and then just sit down

with me and put his hand on my arm and

he'd whisper, "I'm here. Why are you feeling sad today?"

But of course, I never gave him a real answer

because it was my job to protect him from

the reasons that I was sad. So that he would

never have to be sad like me. I protect him, that's my job.

But that kid will never know how many times he's saved my fucking life.

I will kiss you

I will fuck you

I am yours for the night.

Just tell me what

you want tonight

I will make your dreams come true.

I'm expensive

but I'm the best

Because I know what you really want.

You want the sex

but that's not all

You want somebody to hear you

in a world that never listens.

I will fuck you

I'll blow your mind

but after that, you'll tell me what you're thinking.

I'm expensive

but not because

I have sex with you the way you like.

My body is just

a body.

You buy me for

my listening

because you need to be paid attention to.

I will give you

the illusion

that I care about your problems.

That's all you need

the illusion

but once I count your bills, I'm on to the next

sad rich man that needs to be heard.

The first home that I ever lived in

was a condo near a lake

and it always smelled like smoke.

Mom went through a pack a day.

She said that it helped her feel calm

when she got anxious.

But she had an anxiety disorder

and she was always very anxious.

The second home that I lived in

was a small shack in D.C.

and it smelled like rotten garbage

because it was right next to a landfill.

I didn't live there very long but I

remember the kitchen well

because my mother covered the floor

in her blood when the cigarettes couldn't calm her anymore.

The third home that I lived in

was a big house in a suburb,

and it smelled like whiskey

because he loved his whiskey.

The whiskey made him horny and so

I learned to hate the smell.

Because it's all that I could inhale

when he got on top of me.

My new home is number four

and it's a tiny apartment

and it doesn't smell like anything

because it is brand new and all mine.

The smell of smoke makes me choke,

the smell of trash makes me think of blood,

the smell of whiskey makes me gag,

But the smell of nothing comforts me and it's mine.

I watered you, nourished you,

I guarded you with my body.

Hunched over with my back to the world

like a shield protecting a treasure.

I watched you grow in the safety

of my protection.

I guarded your blooming buds

from the rain, and the snow.

My body was wet, and frozen.

My spine ached from bending

over you for so long. I was tired.

But I was strong, and I stayed bent.

The back that I held like a shield over you

had been stabbed by a man

many times, as I whispered to you

that the world was beautiful.

And you grew, believing that the world

was beautiful.

Because you could not see the bleeding

wounds that I hid on my back.

I made sure your soil was pure from my blood

as I watched you grow until you could see.

You were no longer small enough to be protected

by my tired shield.

The first snow was the hardest

because I wanted to lean over you again

to protect you from the cold.

It's all I've ever done, my only purpose.

But you stuck your tongue out,

and licked the snowflakes out of the air.

You braved the storm with a strength

that I saw in myself when I became a shield.

That strength is in our roots.

The strength within us that looks at a

blizzard and decides to make the best

of a spinning disaster.

I watered you, nourished you,

I guarded you with my body.

You grew into something

more beautiful than I had ever hoped.

I remember

The first time i saw you

When your eyes were still alive

And glimmering

Like light piercing through the ocean waves

Happy and content

I remember

When your hair was still curly

And that rusty red-brown-bronze color

That made knots form in my stomach

Each and every time you ran your hand through the strands

You hated it

Every rusty

Red

Brown

Bronze

Strand

And I loved it

And I loved you

I still love you

No matter how much you changed

No matter how you have no semblance of love for me

No matter

You weren't skinny

You were covered in pimples

And black heads

And scars

And stretch marks

And curves

All these signs

All these marks

Show that you lived

That you're alive

You hated them too

You dyed your hair blonde

Empty

Artificial blonde

That looked nothing like gold

Not even the fake gold painted on fake wedding rings

But you thought it did

Your eyes sunk into the abyss

They're now dark

Dead

Cold

They're an imposter with the same colors

That I fell in love with

Your scars didn't heal

In fact

you added more

They covered the stretch marks

And the freckles

And the beauty spots

They covered the beautiful constellations

Knitted across your body

Telling their wise tales

With darkness

You thought you'd be happier

Changing who you are

Not eating

Punishing your body

Darling, I can see your bones

I can see your body screaming

I can see you screaming

But, Baby, how can you be happy

When you stare into the mirror

And never be satisfied

By pushing everyone away

Everyone that loves you

How can you be happy

When you can't recognize who you became?

Because I remember

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The agony comes in tumultuous waves

each stronger than the last

I always try to stand tall and

pray that they will pass

But as the water throws me down

and leaves me nearly dead

I lay there remembering

that I wish that you had said

"you're worth it, and I'll never let you go"

But the truth is, you never taught me how to surf and now I hardly know

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