After my first week of working for Micah's dad, I'm convinced that it was the best decision of my entire life. I'm getting paid a decent amount, the work is easy but not too boring, and I get to see Micah every day. After his classes, he'll come sit in the office with me. He has to do his homework and I have to answer the phones and do my job but we're still together, which is really great.

And then, when work is over and if Harrison isn't in his office, we can lock the door and make out for a little while on the couch. We'll go to dinner after that and then we'll part ways because he has study groups with people from his classes. Two nights during the week, I have clients at night but I manage to get back to my apartment by three in the morning both times, giving me a solid four hours of sleep. It's not a lot but as long as I get some coffee in the morning, I manage to get through the day.

The weekends are still better than the weekdays because Micah and I aren't bound to just making out on the couch for about half an hour until we get too hungry and need to go eat. We can kiss and do just about whatever we want when we're in my apartment, just the two of us. On Saturday, we wake up together in my bed, naked from the night before. When we have our weekend sleepovers, that's usually how we wake up.

We're still lying in bed and I'm listening to Micah tell me about one of his classes when there's a loud knock on the front door but before I can get up to put some clothes on and answer it, the door is opening by itself.

"Ellie, I have some news," Casey says as he is coming into the apartment.

"I'm naked," I say quickly and he immediately turns around after he's shut the door. Micah and I both get up and start getting dressed to spare my brother any mentally scarring sights. "It's good to see you, Case. How's school?"

"It's fine. Anyway, I was doing some research and did you know that the statute of limitations on rape in D.C. is fifteen years?" He asks me, still facing the wall as I throw a shirt on and then I'm sliding some shorts on too. "So that means that if you and Josie both file reports then-"

"Micah's here too, Casey," I interrupt him from talking anymore because I didn't tell Micah about that part of my childhood and I was hoping on keeping him out of that. "So let's get something to eat and then we can talk about that later."

I don't look over at Micah because I'm not entirely sure what his reaction will be when he hears what Casey just said.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Ellie," Casey apologizes as I go into the kitchen to get out some food for breakfast. It'll just be cereal and orange juice because that's easy. "Hey, Micah. I'm sorry that interrupted you having sex with my sister, but this is important."

"Hi, Casey," Micah greets my brother, ignoring the sassy comment, which is good because I don't know if there was a good way to respond to that. I'm sure that he has a ton of questions now though, so I have to prepare a speech on how terrible things have happened in my past and how they are in my past, and I'm over them. I don't want him to feel sorry for me, or worry that I'm still suffering from the trauma of what happened to me so long ago.

I mean, I'm of course not completely healed from what Davis did to me when I was a teenager but I think that I've healed tremendously in the past four years that I've been out of that house and I don't think that it affects my day to day life. However, that won't remain true if Micah starts treating me differently because of it.

"You should be focused on school, Case, not worried about me," I inform my brother as he joins me in the kitchen. Micah stays in the living room though, maybe processing what he heard or to give me some time with my brother.

"I am focused on school, Ellie. I'm multi-tasking," My brother defends himself. I pour myself a bowl of cereal as Casey gets the milk out of the fridge. He then inches closer to me so that Micah can't hear him say, "Ever since Josie told me what happened, I can't sleep. I can't stand feeling so helpless, and so I have to do something."

"It's already over," I remind him. "It's sweet that you care so much, but there's nothing that'll make it any different."

"It'd be better if he was in prison for what he's done. Not even just to you or Josie but think about how many other girls he's done this to, and gotten away with it," He adds.

"I know that he belongs in prison, that's why I put him in prison," I say to my brother. "When Josie told me that he hurt her, I got him put away so that he can't hurt anybody else again. I know that I should have done it earlier but it's done. He's not in jail for what you think that he should be in jail for but the main point here is that he is in jail."

"I don't like that nobody knows what he did," Casey says. "He's a shit person and the entire world needs to know what a shit person that he is."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does!" He insists. "Even if he's in jail for something else, he still technically got away with this."

"I know, but I don't care. It's over and I know that it's hard for you to except because you just found out about it, but I've done all of my moving past it and I'm not going to go after him again," I tell Casey.

"Fine," He eventually gives up and then glances into the living room before telling me, "Micah hasn't moved for a solid three minutes."

I turn around to see my boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed with wide eyes and when he sees me turn to look at him, he looks up at me but doesn't really move.

"Yeah, well, we've only been dating for a few weeks now so surprisingly enough, I have not given him an in depth analysis of my childhood traumas," I inform my brother, going back to my conversation with Casey. "Are you spending the night?"

"Oh, no, that's okay. I've clearly just burst a bubble that you should probably deal with before he turns into a statue," Casey mutters. "Sorry about that. I'll get going."

"You can stay longer," I say quickly. Mostly because I miss him but also because when he leaves, I have to explain things to Micah that I want to leave unexplained. "I miss you."

"I'll come back next weekend instead," He suggests.

"Okay. And please take it easy on the getting revenge on Davis thing," I ask him.

"No promises, but I'll try," Casey relents. I give him a hug and remind him that I love him before he's leaving again. I turn from the door to face Micah again.

He's just been sitting there for a good ten minutes now, at least, not saying anything and hardly even moving.

"It was a long time ago," I start by saying that, like a disclaimer. "So it's nothing to freak out over."

"Freak out?" He finally speaks up. "Not freaking out. There is no freaking out here."

"You haven't moved in ten minutes," I remind him. "Look, Micah, I didn't tell you about this because it isn't a part of who I am anymore. It's not an important thing to know. All of the things that happened in that foster home feel like it was another lifetime ago, you know? Like it didn't even happen to me."

"But it did," He says as I sit down beside him on the edge of the bed. "Happen to you, I mean."

"Yes," I admit to him. "My foster father would get horny when he was drunk and he'd come into my room. He would threaten Casey if I didn't cooperate and it was really awful. But I spent a long time getting over it, so there's no need to dwell on it or make a big deal out of it."

"Not making a big deal out of it," He promises me. "It's just hard to wrap my head around."

"You don't have to wrap your head around it, you can just stop thinking about it right now and pretend like the last half an hour didn't even happen," I remind him as I take a bite of the cereal that I'd poured.

"But he's not in jail?" Micah asks me.

"No, he is in jail, just not for touching me," I answer him. "He's just all around a shitty; he had a few past drug busts. So, when they found the cocaine that I planted in his house, they arrested him for that and he'll be in there for a long time. Josie was in his care and so when I found out that he had hurt her too, I got him locked up and that's why she was staying with me until her dad could take her again."

He doesn't say anything for a while.

"I don't want you to treat me differently because of this. I know that it's a lot to take in but I don't need you tip toeing around me or looking at me like a sad puppy. I'm only saying this because the last boyfriend I had found out and he wouldn't have sex with me after that because he was afraid of triggering me or something. But I'm not triggered, I'm not suffering from PTSD. I am healed from what happened to me when I was younger."

"It's just so insane," He trails off in his own thoughts before continuing, "When I was a teenager, I was worried about failing chemistry and my forehead breaking out. It all seemed like the end of the world to me but at the same time that I was freaking out about some stupid science test, you were going through all of this crap."

I put the bowl of cereal down on the nightstand table and take his hand in mine. "Well, you know my motto. 'For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken.' So maybe all of the bad things that happened to me meant that there were good things happening for you."

"That's not fair at all."

"I know that it's not fair, but it's what happened," I remind him. "And it sucked, all of it. It sucked that my parents didn't want me and it sucked that my foster father was a drunken pervert. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't let any of that crap destroy me, and I haven't. I think that it's made me stronger in some ways. Besides, if any one of those things from my past didn't happen, I might have never met you, so I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Micah turns toward me and presses his lips to mine. "You're the most amazing person that I've ever met."

"That's all I've ever wanted to be," I say jokingly. "Anyway, can we please just forget that this happened?"

"Okay," He assures me with a nod. "Yeah, if that's what you want, I'll just forget like all of that just happened. And don't worry, I won't stop having sex with you. I know that you wouldn't be able to live without this body."

That makes me laugh. Despite the weird mood that Casey had caused in the apartment, Micah succeeds in lighting up the mood with just two sentences. "I'd really appreciate that. I do really love your body."

I actually love everything about him. I love his body, his smile, his eyes. I love the way that he laughs and the way that he licks his lips. I love how sweet he is, and how patient he is with me because I'm afraid to tell him about every part of me. I love the look in his eye when he's looking at me. I know that it's too early to decide that I love him but I love every single thing about him, so wouldn't that mean that I love him?

Maybe not, because I think that loving somebody means that you know their flaws, and you accept them. I don't know Micah's flaws, I can't find any part of him that I don't think is absolutely perfect. I think that what feels like love right now is just infatuation, which is what happens in a new relationship.

"Your cereal is getting soggy," Micah informs me as my mind starts to drift.

"That's okay," I decide. I don't care if my cereal gets soggy right now, I just want to stare at Micah for a little while longer because the more that I realize how much I like him, the more that I'm understanding that I won't have this forever. I have to stare now, while he's here, so that I can remember him after he's gone.