The next morning I'm awoke by kisses being placed on my jawline, down my neck, and to my breasts. I instantly start moaning when his hair tickles my nipples as he moves down my body. I move my hands to his scalp as he moves his hands rubbing my breasts down to my thighs. When he opens my thighs I'm given the gift of his tongue, right on the sweet spot I need it.

He fucks me on his tongue, between my folds, with his fingers, winding me up before he's giving me the most amazing morning with a sexual release. I orgasm holding his hair and moaning his name without even opening my eyes the whole time. I know who he is, his tongues the same one that I've been French kissing all night long. The same one that fucked me so many times last night.

I sigh as he comes up kissing my eyelids as I open my eyes. We're both still fully naked, tangled in bedsheets and he looks so good. He always has, but bed head on Jax is a new level of sexy. I keep my hands in his hair rubbing it with my hands as he holds the side of my jaw in one hand and massages my hair with the other.

"Good morning to me," I whisper rubbing his lips as he nibbles on my finger and I feel his erection on top of my thigh. I move my thigh and settle him between my legs as I smile onto his hand settled on my face. I lean over and kiss his finger before I see his wedding band still there. While thinking about it I move my hand and see that I never took my rings off last night. Having them just made it feel real and better.

"What's going through that beautiful brain?" He whispers rubbing my jaw as I move my hand into his view. "This is a little bit," I whisper looking at my wedding band.

"Keep them. You make the choice then. If you want to wear them, wear them. If you don't, then don't. But I'm still going to wear mine." He tells me as I nod and lean forwards and kiss him.

"About last night." He goes to start as I smile. "I don't care about the dates rule. We'll still go on dates but I need this afterward, this is us Jax and we both know it. We're sex fanatics when it comes to each other and we always have been." I rant out as he smiles and nods.

"I was hoping you'd say that. How about this, no sex unless we go on a date, that way we're growing in our relationship emotionally and in our connection." He tells me as I smile.

"Absolutely. You better not fuck this up." I whisper as he smiles.

"Oh, I'm about to fuck this all up." He whispers to my breasts massaging them as I smile. "Go for it." I whisper as I'm woken up the best way possible. And life can't get any better, or at least it doesn't feel like it can, I'm on cloud nine.

___

After waking up Jax and I are on the way to relieve the nanny from her big night. Jax holds my thigh in his hand as we drive there and it's nice, it's like it used to be.

"We need to do this again. I liked it." Jax tells me as I smile. I liked this too, the date, the afterparty, all of it just felt perfect.

"We do." I whisper while he rubs my hand in his. He rubs my wedding band as I smile. I haven't taken it off yet, and honestly I really don't want too. I feel like we're finally in the place we were supposed to be in, and I love him.

"I don't expect you to forgive me overnight, but Ry, I do love you so damn much." He whispers over to me as he rubs my hand. I just can't say that to him yet because I don't fully trust him anymore, and he'll have to work for it.

"Thank you." I whisper back rubbing his hand. He pulls into his house and immediately opens my door taking me out of it before we walk to the front door. "You've never actually been in, I think it's time to change that." He whispers as I smile and nod.

He opens the door and immediately we're bombarded with our kids hugging us like they always do. We thank the nanny and Jax pays her heavily before we're with the kids again, ending our time alone together.

"So what did y'all do?" I ask Maddie rubbing her hair as she smiles. "Puzzles and pizza and dancing." She tells me as I smile. I see her face smiling wider when she moves to hug Jax and he kisses the top of her head making my heart melt.

They start talking as I grab Kurt hugging him, and Lance kissing his cheek. He instantly wipes it off before I glare at him and do it again. But as I look over my shoulder and see the kittens Jax rescued from the house running around, along with our kids, it finally hits me.

This is what I've always wanted, and we're finally getting there.

___

It's so good. We're finally back in a really good place, it's so good that I can confidently say I love my husband again, the way I know I should. And tonight, tonight makes date nine.

We haven't had sex, contrary to what we thought, our dates consist of putting the kids to bed, after washing them, cleaning dishes, and lunch breaks at the hospital.

Jax has been amazing, he's amazing. The small gestures he's doing now, even simple flowers when he knows I've had a hard day at work, or cooking dinner when I'm exhausted, he never used to do that. And now he is, and that makes me really appreciate everything he's doing to make this work with us.

But I'm worried that I'm caving too quickly, and I'm worried that I'll let him in and he will end up hurting me again. Which I can't let happen, and which is the reason why my moms on her way and doesn't even know about Jax and I. Ever since retiring she comes up every few weeks to see the kids, and she loves being a grandmother. I just hate that I'm keeping a big secret from her about my relationship.

She'll figure it out when she sees a few of Jax's clothing items and shoes here, along with his work stuff, and the fact that we're both wearing our wedding rings again. And he's been nonchalantly trying to pull out our wedding photos and engagement photos again. But the only one I've let stay up is above our bed, the rest of them are still tucked away. I just feel like if they stay stashed away then so does my heart and it can't break of I don't open it all the way up.

I just don't want to hurt again, and loving someone makes that a reality. But today I've made Friday breakfast for the kids since they don't have school on Friday's, and Jax didn't leave last night. He's still in my-our, whatever we should call it, our room. He's in boxers, and only boxers, not that we had sex, he crawled into bed with me and when I pushed him out he just grabbed my hips and made me the little spoon so he could cuddle.

It was nice, something that hasn't happened in a while, and it felt good to wake up in his arms. When my mom comes and takes the kids with her though, then I know it'll be different tonight. She's already been planning a weekend at the beach with them, and when I asked constantly to drive them there she insisted on coming and getting them.

So now I'm in the kitchen with pancakes, bacon, and eggs made waiting on the kids to wake up in the next thirty minutes which I know will happen. I'm washing the dishes when I hear the bedroom door open signaling Jax is awake. I don't know how to feel about it right now, him staying here. He hasn't stayed the night in years, and years.

It was nice but it felt like it used to and I don't like that. I just feel like he could hurt me again, he could hold my heart in his hand and crush it.

He comes into the kitchen in only boxers as his presence fills the space behind me. "Morning baby" he says to me before wrapping his hand around my hip and kissing the side of my head. He moves to kiss my lips when I slowly back away that way he can't.

"What's wrong?" He immediately asks caging me between him and the countertop. He wraps his arms around me and starts rubbing my back as he stares into my face. Before I know it he's wrapped his hand around my chin and is rubbing my jaw to keep my attention.

"Nothing." I whisper as he shakes his head yes. "I just don't want to get too comfortable together, that's all." I tell him as he stares blankly, meaning I have to explain further.

"What if you decide to leave again? What if I open all the way up and you leave me? What will I have left Jax?" I ask as he rubs my jaw.

"Ry listen to me right now. Never, never again will that happen. Baby look at me, I know you don't fully trust me and that's okay, it's understandable. I'll be here when you're ready. But that doesn't mean I won't kiss the living hell out of you first thing in the morning." He whispers down to me before pulling my jaw to his face and kissing my lips. This time I let him move his lips with mine before giving up my resistance and kissing him back.

I just know he's not leaving again. I can feel it, but then again, I didn't think he'd leave the first time. I love him though, and my ability to hold a grudge is slowly falling apart because I know I'm letting him in. I hold his muscular arms as he pulls me closer to him and palms my hair in his hand.

I'm moving my lips back with his when the kiss turns into making out. His hand moves to my behind when he lifts me onto the countertop elegantly and opens my thighs. I grip his head in my hand and pull his lips close to mine when he rubs up my bare thighs to the seems of my athletic shorts.

"The kids" I whisper pulling away as he starts kissing down the side of my neck, all with my eyes closed. He smiles into it and nibbles on the skin there while moving his hands up my thighs as I laugh. "Umm, they can wait." He whispers pulling back to kiss me again as I smile into his lips. I'm rocking onto his waist and I feel how hard he is for me already, and this is so damn difficult.

"Really Rylee Jane?! You told me a divorce was in the works less than a month ago!" I hear behind Jax as he breaks away from my lips and pulls around. I'm caught red handed when I see my mom holding the spare key to the house in her hand.

She's glaring at Jax, as in enough to kill him glaring, and she's looking between him and I as disappointed as she can be.

Fuck.