Tonight's my first real date with Jax in years and I'm so nervous. I guess we're just trying to figure out what to do with ourselves and with our relationship because it's new territory for us both. We never really dated, and I'm kind of looking forward to it. I'm curled my hair perfectly, I've put on a beautiful amount of makeup with a smoky eye, and my favorite pair of gold heels. I know I look good, I look better than I did on my date with Evan.

And it's because of the dress I'm wearing. I didn't expect to find one in the back of my closet with tags still on it, especially since I never bought it, which makes me believe that Jax bought it years ago and hid it, maybe it was for a birthday or something, I don't know. But I fell in love when I saw the design and cut of the fabric, along with the low back and cut outs that I know will make my back look great.

I'm kind of proud about how my body looks. I know I've lost weight, but I like the way I look now. I know I'm tiny, but being bigger always made me self conscious and somewhere in my life I thought being skinnier would fix that. It didn't fix my problems, but it did fix my self confidence a lot more than I anticipated.

"Ry! You ready?" Jax tells from the bedroom. He's been waiting for an hour on me. The last time he saw me was when I opened the door in a bathrobe and messy bun making him laugh as I tangled the kids.

The kids are with the nanny at Jax's townhouse and apparently having the time to their life with her.

I open the bathroom door and walk out to see him sitting on the bed with his white button up that showcases his arms. He's wearing tan leather shoes and navy pants that make him look so damn good. I never see him without a hat either, and his hair is fixed and pushed back off his face. Of course he's still got his wedding ring on, and he looks so handsome. He came ready while then having to wait on me and he still looks good.

"Fucking hell." He whispers under his breath staring up my body as my self consciousness kicks back in.

"What?! Is it okay?!" I ask immediately pushing my hands down the fabric as he smiles.

"It's not come here." He tells me as I immediately walk over to him. What's wrong with it? Did he not buy it for me years ago?

"Is it too much?" I ask as he pulls his suit jacket from the bed. He grabs my hips and throws it around the back of my butt before tying the arms around my waist. What the fuck?

"There. Nobody will see my piece of ass." He tells me as I immediately drop my jaw and push his shoulder. Asshole.

"I thought it was bad! You butthole!" I exclaim as I take his suit jacket off. I turn in front of him and show him the back before his sitting figure stops me. He places his hands on my hips as I turn back around and then pulls the fabric of the dress down on my thighs.

"Jax!" I scold as he stops and pulls away. "When I bought this years ago I had no Damn idea it would look this good. Hell no. You can't wear this, I'll be hard all night long and I'm fighting the urge to turn you around and fuck you from behind on the dresser." He tells me bluntly as I laugh.

"Too bad it's you and your hand tonight babe." I charmingly tell him as he grabs my hips standing up. He towers over me as he rubs my bare back setting my skin on fire. He starts trailing his hands lower when I grab his arms stoping him.

"Above the waist mister." I tell him as he stops his hands and kisses my forehead.

"Fine. I have a question though." He tells me as I nod and he pushes my hair off my shoulder to look at my necklace. It's the gold chain that he bought me years ago, it's solid and in a snake kind of pattern, but I loved it then and I love it now. I still wore it when we were apart.

"Hit me with it." I tell him as he nods. He takes his suit jacket and puts the navy coat on before I adjust the collar and pull his white shirt down in the front a bit the way I remember him liking.

"Will you put your engagement ring and wedding ring back on?" He asks me bluntly before pulling them both out of his pocket. I'm shocked to say the least, because him asking that is a huge deal.

I don't know how I feel about doing that because we have just got to a good place. And now he's pushing me just like before.

I pull away slightly as he starts again, "Just while we're out. I want people to know I married you, I mean look at you, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and all." He tells me as he smiles down at the rings and then at me. Why not play into the fantasy tonight? Tomorrow we'll worry about the real world.

"Fine. But I mean what I said. I'm giving this a chance, and if you push me too much I'm walking away." I tell him as he nods.

"I know. Which is why I'm not asking for you to wear it permanently again. I know I lost that privilege to ask you that." He tells me as I nod. I take the rings from his hand and slip them back onto my ring finger as he smiles at it and rubs my hand. I will admit it feels normal again, but I don't want to get my hopes up too fast.

"Good. Then let's gets going." I tell him as I grab my clutch. He slips behind me as we walk through the house and he finds his keys on the table.

"Shit. I almost forgot." He tells me pulling me back as he rounds the corner to the hallway and I see a beautiful set of light pink roses.

"Flowers on the first date right?" He asks as I laugh and take them from him. He holds my hip as I set them on the kitchen countertop in the vase with a little water. He had it all together with the white vase and it's beautiful.

"Thank you. I think this so the first time you've ever bought me roses." I tell him as he looks down as his hands and nods.

"It is, and that'll be different from now on. I mean it, I'm changing." He tells me as I smile. I think I like this new Jax better than the one I even married.

"Okay. I like that." I tell him back as he grabs my hand leading me to his truck. He opens the door for me to get in and then follows going around to the drivers side and gets in. He surprises me when he reaches over and holds my thigh before he drives out of the driveway and starts down the road. Feeling brave I sit my hand on his and rub his veins as he drives.

I missed this so damn much, and I just know I'm making the right decision.

"So where are you taking me?" I ask him as I look in the backseat and see all the kids sports equipment and Maddie's sandals making me smile.

"Somewhere really nice." He tells me as I nod. "We can afford it right?" I ask as he laughs. "Ry I got it all, we're good." He tells me squeezing my thigh as I smile.

Somewhere between our small talk and laughing at each other he's pulling into one of the spots I'll never forget. "You remember the underground?" He asks as my anxiety kicks in. Oh my god no.

The kidnappers. The men who took me. The fact that I was pregnant. It all hits me as I stare up at Jax like a deer in headlights.

"Oh my god Ry no. Baby." He tells me immediately pulling me to my chest. "Oh my god what the fuck did I do? Shit Ry this place isn't the underground anymore. The whole thing got busted up years ago when the cops found out about it, the building got tore down and the underground was taken apart. Baby they rebuilt a different building and it's right on the strip, meaning it's the perfect place for a fancy restaurant with a wine tasting bar downstairs. I figured you'd like the idea of the place we met and you love wine, and wineries but we don't have a real one in the city, not shit..." he tells me as I look up into his eyes with my teary ones.

I had no idea all of that stuff. I hated this place after what happened to me, and although I was fine, it still messed with me and emotionally I wasn't okay for a while. But this, he knew me and he knew what I used to like five years ago, not much has changed at all, but he knew what I liked and this was one of those. Wine tastings always made me so excited, and I always wanted to try different ones with him.

"Jax the thought it's beautiful okay? Thank you. I just sometimes I think about it." I whisper as he pulls me to him and grabs the side of my face in his palm.

"I'm sorry baby, I love you." He tells me as he leans down and kisses my lips. I kiss him back and softly rub his arm without telling him how I feel. Because although I always will love him, I can't get hurt again and I'm not ready to say those words just yet.

He moves his lips and tongue with mine before pulling away and rubbing my face again. "So you wanna do this and see what all the rich people talk about here?" He asks as I smile and nod, "Thank you for the thought okay? It means a lot, I didn't know all that stuff. Especially since I wasn't allowed back here and I physically couldn't do it." I whisper as he nods.

"Good. I love you Ry." He tells me again pecking my lips before he hops out and opens my door. I hold his hand in mine as he helps me out of the truck and gives the valet his keys. He holds me in his arms walking to the doors before he whispers in my neck, "You okay?" He asks as I nod.

"I am. Ready for our first date in the same place you almost died?" I ask as he laughs and stops at the door. He points to the left and where a small little flower shop has been placed.

"Right there. I met you right there." He tells me as I smile and kiss his cheek. Then we're off into the building and down the stairs for his reservation. To my surprise he's bought us both full passes meaning I can try whatever I want.

And I do, I try them all after we've ate dinner. Making me toasted, and a whole lot intoxicated.