*****

"Mayra, please understand. You need to talk about it. Keeping everything bottled up inside of you is in no way healthy. I need to know how you felt when Aamir abused you. Even if you've buried it all deep inside your heart, I need you to resurrect it so that we can deal with it now."

Silence met his plea for answers. He was growing impatient, frustrated even, but he was a professional. He would keep his calm and his cool.

Moments passed and he simply looked at his client who stared at the painting on the wall. He had no idea what was going on in her head for her face was like an emotionless mask.

Both of them battled it out. Mayra refusing to speak and Gaurav refusing to let her remain silent. She had insisted that she wanted the time of abuse out of their sessions. She only wanted to speak of before and after it, skipping the most important part completely. Gaurav had refused to comply with it instantly. He told her that dealing with the history of abuse was going to be the crux of Mayra's recovery and that she had to be able to talk about it.

No amount of explaining on Gaurav's part seemed to have worked as she sat in front of him, adamantly against his requests and demands. And yet being the professional that he was he wouldn't back down.

He stared at her, his gaze unwavering, till he saw the barely perceptible slump of her shoulders. She then sighed, turned away from the painting and looked down at her hands.

"What do you want to know?"

Mentally doing a little sigh of relief, he kept his face straight and said, "How did it feel when Aamir first struck you?"

She flinched at the question but then took a deep breath in and said, "At first, nothing. Just pure shock. I didn't even register that he had hit me. I was on the floor and he was pacing the room in anger. Then it started to hurt, physically. Even then I was in shock. It didn't make sense to me that I had been hit. Abused. If it had stopped there, probably it would've been easier to forget I guess. It didn't though. I was called a 'whore' and a 'gold-digger'. That's when it started to hurt really bad in my heart. Like someone was squeezing my heart in their fist. Can you imagine, Mr Singh? When the man you've sworn your life to calls you that? On your wedding night? When the first day of your new life is horrible and it scares you to death thinking that your entire life is going to be the same? That your parents have given you up and the man promised to you won't take you in? Where do you go from there?

"I learned very soon in my relationship with Aamir that I had nowhere to go and that nobody was going to come to my aid. I could neither go back to my old life, because my parents had disowned me and neither could I move ahead. Divorce was out of the question. I was stuck, and the situation I was stuck in just deteriorated everyday and every night. It went from physical to brutal.

"I remember each and every time I was hit by him, Mr Singh. I remember the force with which his hand would strike my face. I remember the feel of his shoe when he kicked me. I remember the sound the belt would make when he lashed me. I remember the look on his face when he would strike me.

"But most clearly I remember the look in his eyes. The fire in them, the hatred, the disgust. That spark of achievement when I cried out in pain. I can never forget that. It still gives me nightmares. I know you expect me to try to reconcile with him because he regrets it and claims to love me. Everyone wants me to do it. You know what? I will reconcile with him, right now if you want, but you'll have to erase those memories from my mind. You'll have to make forget so that next time I see him smiling at me I won't look into his eyes, scared to see that look ever again. If you can do that for me, I'll reconcile with him in an instant. Can you?"

Gaurav was stunned. Not by what he was hearing but by the calmness with which all of that had been said. She spoke of her abuse as if she were discussing the weather! Emotionless and detached.

"Did Aamir tell you that he wants you to forgive him?" he asked.

"Of course he wants me to," she replied, indignant. "Its so obvious he does!"

Gaurav was quick to rebut it with a shake of his head. "Did he explicitly say it to you?"

Mayra frowned, "no."

"Did he imply it, indirectly or otherwise?"

"No, not really, but he.. he.."

"But what Mayra?"

"I know he does, ok! I've lived with him for two years. I know what he means and what he doesn't mean. I can read between the lines! I'm not dumb! He says he wants me to have him arrested. Yeah right! As if I will. If I wanted to do it I would've done it ages ago. He knows I won't!

"You know what else he says to me? He says that he wants me to punish him. He says that he loves me and that he's sorry. He says that he'll keep making it up to me even though there's no way that I would forgive him. Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe that under all of that he simply doesn't want me to forgive him and move on like nothing ever happened? Why would I believe it?"

"Because, may be, he's telling the truth."

Mayra was stunned at what she was hearing. "What?"

"You heard me, Mayra. I don't know if Aamir is telling the truth. I don't know if he deserves forgiveness. I don't know if you will forgive him. What I do know is that there's quite a similarity between Aamir's situation when Jaffar first approached him and your situation right now."

"How can you say that!" Mayra screeched. "How can you even compare! He believed a total stranger and ended up abusing me! I'm simply refusing to forget the fact that I was abused! How on earth -"

"Hold it right there Mayra." Gaurav interjected. "Listen to me very closely and try to keep your head cool about what I'm about to say."

Mayra continued to look at him, absolutely furious.

With a sigh he began, "look Mayra, what I'm trying to say is that when Aamir was approached by Jaffar and his wife was accused of being involved with him, he had two options - one to believe what Jaffar had said, or two to disregard everything, even the so-called proof, and believe you. I know what you see it as. You see it as a choice put before Aamir - a choice between Jaffar and you - and what hurts you so bad is that Aamir chose him and not you. You are heartbroken, even today that Aamir chose to believe him and not you."

Tears filled Mayra's eyes at that accurate assessment and Gaurav rejoiced over the fact that he was finally cracking the wall she had built around herself.

"But look at it from Aamir's point of view. He had a choice, but he had to choose between two people he didn't know at all. You were as much a stranger to him as was Jaffar at that time. Sure you were just married but only for a couple of hours. So what it boiled down to was whether he was going to believe the proof or make an informed decision after speaking to you about it like an adult should do.

"Let me be very clear about this, I do not support his decision, and I do not condone what he did to you after that, but what I'm trying to draw your attention to is the fact that Aamir made a decision about not believing you based on 'evidence' and not on an actual conversation with you.

"Now coming to your situation, you have a choice, also. You can either choose to give Aamir a chance to merely explain himself or you can choose to form your own opinion of what he wants with you based on the 'proof' of your past experiences with him. Sure, the proof Aamir had was entirely false and the one you have is entirely true, and also given that Aamir was wrong and you are right, yet its quite hard to overlook the similarity in your case, Mayra. The bottom line remains that you are repeating the same mistake that Aamir made - you are also arriving at conclusions without speaking to him first."

"I can't speak to him!" Mayra cried out. "He trained me never to be able to speak to him, ever! He made sure that fear was forever ingrained in my heart. I have to form my own opinions because he made sure I'll be too afraid to ask him to tell me his side of the story! And why should I ask? Why should I even have this conversation with him? What purpose will it serve anyway?"

"Mayra, it will help you move on."

Exasperated, Mayra threw her hands up in the air in a gesture of frustration. "Why don't you all get it?You all keep telling me about moving on! How difficult is it for everyone to accept that there is simply no 'moving on'! I'm in this situation - courtesy of my angry parents and an abusive husband and an uncaring family - and I'll be in this situation forever! And you know what! I'm ok with it. I've learned to live by the rules and I will live by them all my life. Aamir chose to have a slave instead of a wife and now he has one. It's his problem not mine. There is no moving forward. This is it!"

"No, Mayra. This isn't it. What you have isn't a relationship, its two individuals caught in a very unhealthy situation, and let me tell you something Mayra, unhealthy situations always come to an end. It can be a happy ending, or it can be a tragedy but it will end. Whether you like it or not, you will have to move on. This time the ball's in your court Mayra. Whether you choose to forgive Aamir or punish him, its entirely up to you. To continue with this marriage or to go for a divorce - this time because you ask for it - its entirely your call, but sooner or later, this status quo has to go. Mark my words."

That was so not how Mayra had intended to have that session to go and certainly not the way for it to end. She was angry, confused, hurt and furious. She was irritated at Gaurav and how he was always right.

But even she had to concede that Gaurav's forceful conversation that had led her to resurrect all these feelings within her were making her feel more alive than ever before since her marriage.

She sat in her room, contemplating over all that had transpired. All that Gaurav had said. For her to make an informed decision she would have to speak to Aamir. She couldn't do it, she knew she couldn't. Nobody could understand that, neither Gaurav, nor Faiza nor anyone else. She knew how her throat would freeze up, how the words simply would not flow out and how her tongue would glue itself to her mouth. Yes, her fear of Aamir was that paralysing, even today.

She was glad Aamir wasn't attending the sessions with her any more, it made it easier for her to talk when she knew that he was far away when she was saying things that would make him so angry if he heard them. She feared even thinking about them lest he read her mind. As paranoid as that was.

At least he would ask her about her sessions every time she had them. Today as he sat at his work desk in their room, scribbling away on a piece of paper, Mayra felt slightly devoid of attention as he didn't ask her anything. He had come back home late today, mumbled something about a "meeting with Zaheer", and sat down to work.

A feeling of dread arose in her chest at his behaviour. Was the Aamir of old coming back?

Aamir sat at his chair, confused as hell at what Zaheer had disclosed. So much information had been bombarded at him at once that he had had no time to process it all. Now that he sat down, the businessman had completely taken over to analyse the information and draw conclusions from facts. This time, he would not blow up when someone made an accusation about his wife. This time he would behave like an adult. This time he would make an informed decision.

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started to write -

Chronology of events -

Before Marriage - 1) Sameera and Jaffar get involved

2) Mayra treatens Sameera, their friendship breaks

3) Sameera gets married, shows Mayra's parents pics with asshole (Jaffar)

4) Parents angry, force Mayra into this marriage.

Aamir paused. This was so hard. The more he wrote, the worse he felt about himself.

After marriage - 1) I act like the world's biggest jerk. Farah and Faiza act like jerks too.

2) Faiza meets Asshole, secret "thing" going on.

3) I leave for USA, Asshole plans to kill Mayra. I ask Zaheer to prepare divorce papers

4) I return, get into the accident that Asshole planned, get paralysed

5) Mayra meets Asshole and Faiza, tells nothing about my accident to anyone.

6) Khalid screams at Mayra, yet she says nothing when he mentions "lover"

7) Faiza gets married to Irfan. And she's happy!

7) Mayra takes care of me like an angel. I get better.

8) I get back, try to make things normal. Doesn't work a bit.

9) Zaheer's idiotic assistant messes up, sends divorce papers, Mayra's accident

10) Faiza gets calls from Asshole again

Aamir looked at the list again and again. His head buzzed with so many questions. Why did Mayra meet up with him? What did she say to him? Why didn't she tell Khalid about Jaffar being the one behind that accident?

If Jaffar wanted Mayra killed, why would he meet up with her and discuss things in a cafe? And what was Faiza doing in all of this? Had she too been a part of the plan to have Mayra killed? Then why would she gladly get married to Irfan if she was that insanely in love with Jaffar?

What the hell was going on?

"umm.. Excuse me?"

Aamir turned to see Mayra looking at him from the doorway. She looked worried and tired. Suddenly it struck him that she had had a session today with Gaurav.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he said rising up. He gently took her hand and led her to the bed and sat her down next to him. "I completely forgot that you had gone to see Gaurav. How was it? Are you ok?"

Mayra nodded her head and said, "actually, they are calling us to dinner, we should go."

She was about to get up when Aamir stopped her. "We will, in just a while. Tell me first, how was your session?"

"It was ok," Mayra replied, timidly.

"Gaurav didn't give you any home work this time?" Aamir asked with a genuine smile.

Mayra nodded, too afraid to tell Aamir what the homework was.

"What is it? Or is it secret and you can't tell me?"

"Uh.. no.. Actually, he said .. he said that I should talk to.. to you.."

Aamir grew still. He simply looked at her and waited for her to continue. He had already been advised by Gaurav to let Mayra take all the time in the world when she was talking to him. He knew why being patient was so crucial. He was the reason why she had stopped talking in the first place.

"He said that I should talk to you and ask you if you really meant by what you said," Mayra concluded, hesitantly.

"About what, Princess?" Aamir asked her as gently as he could.

"About.. about you wanting me to punish you." Mayra looked away.

"Baby, look at me," Aamir told her. "Darling, please." He put a finger under her chin and drew her gaze to his. "Mayra, sweetheart, I mean every single word I told you since you woke up. I meant it then and I mean it now. You should have me arrested. You should punish me. Least you can do is grab my hair and pull it hard as you can, or grab a shoe and hurl it at my face."

Mayra giggled at that and tried to blink away the water that had pooled in her eyes. Unable to help himself, he kissed her cheek and smiled to himself when she blushed into a bright red.

"Princess, I do not deserve your forgiveness, and that is a fact. I have hurt you, in the most brutal way a man can hurt a woman, and there is no forgiveness for that. If you call the police right now and have me dragged to jail, I'll be a happy man, because I deserve to be tortured in there. I deserve to feel the pain just as I made you feel it. Mayra," he sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.

"Why won't you punish me, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice trembling. "Why won't you hurt me just as much as I hurt you?"

"I.. I can't," whispered Mayra, wiping her tears.

"Why not, darling?"

"Because it'll hurt me! Hurting you will cause me pain! Because I lo-"

Mayra shut her mouth, horrified. She sprang up from the bed and backed away in to the wall.

Aamir's heart leapt with joy at the words she was about to say but he knew why she was reacting as such. Sadly, he got up from the bed and started backing up, when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. "Princess, look at me. See, I'm not coming close to you, I'm moving back. I'm not going to hurt you, ok?"

Mayra wiped her tears and looked at him with wide open eyes.

"I love you, Mayra. I will love you forever, and I will wait for you forever. You don't have to be afraid of anything. I would rather die a painful death than hurt you ever again. How can I not love you when you tell me that after all that I did to cause you pain, you still wouldn't punish me as it will hurt you? How can I not fall in love with you every time I see you, because I see an angel every time? How can I not love you when you are my Princess, and you rule my heart? I am yours, Mayra, forever and always, and if you will give me a chance, I will bring a smile to your face and make sure it never leaves. Please, darling, don't be afraid of me."

He stood still and waited for her to make the first move.

Mayra, stunned by his unbelievable confession of love, wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him so hard that she'd squeeze him. The rational part of her mind that had been toughened by abuse wouldn't allow her to do that. So she chose the middle option.

She wiped her tears and moved ahead, aware that Aamir was watching her like a hawk. She gave him a small smile and said, "we should go for dinner."

Aamir's face broke out into a huge smile and he took her hand into his own and they both headed downstairs.

*****