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"Wisten to me! Twinkie Twinkie wittle star. Howwa wonder what you are. Up abba the world so high. Wike a dy-man in the sky. Yay!"

Mayra smiled and clapped along with the adorable four year old who adamantly refused to leave her alone. Amina had barged into the room, had Aamir listen to her proud achievement of a nursery rhyme ten times straight till his eyes were begging Mayra to save him.

Mayra pulled the little bundle of cuteness and energy on her lap and requested for a repeat performance and Aamir, ever so grateful to Mayra, made a run for it to the office for a post-lunch meeting.

Mayra smiled at her and hugged her tightly to her chest. Amina looked at her with so much love and adoration that Mayra felt herself tearing up. It wasn't everyday that people looked at her like that, with love. They looked at her with pity and with guilt. And she hated that.

She had some pride too, even if most of it had been demolished during the two years of her marriage. She had a sense of self-respect and honour. She held her head high.

Now she had been reduced to a helpless beggar, an impoverished leper, who turned to her husband to fulfil her needs. So helpless was she, that even though her husband had been the vilest of abusers, she was still living with him, pretending - for the sake of her own sanity - that her life was fine.

But it was not fine. It had become a joke! She had merely graduated from being Rizwan Khan's daughter to being Aamir Hassan's wife. The real Mayra had been lost somewhere in that transaction. The worst of it all was that she feared her identity was lost permanently, and that there was no chance of getting it back. That would kill her. There would be nothing left worth fighting for, worth living for.

Amina's baby voice cut her thoughts. "Mami?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" Mayra looked at the cute kid staring at her with big eyes.

"I wove you, Mami."

Mayra hugged her fiercely and whispered, "I love you too, my princess!"

Amina played with a lock of her hair and said, "When you were sick and mommy said that you had a tummy ache, Amina was very sad. Now you are ok, and Amina is very happy!"

Mayra looked at her puzzled. "Tummy ache?"

"Yeah!" Amina nodded her head enthusiastically, her pigtails bobbing up and down. "Mommy said that you were having tummy ache just wike Amina has tummy ache when Amina eats too much candy."

Mayra smiled at the innocent description and said, "but now Mami doesn't have a tummy ache. Mami is fine."

"Yay!" Amina clapped and kissed Mayra's cheek.

Mayra played with her and listened to her babble till she fell asleep, out of exhaustion, cuddled to Mayra. Gazing at her peaceful and innocent face Mayra thought of how precious she was. How precious daughters were.

All daughters, except her.

Her own parents refused to believe her when she told them the truth, they believed Sameera instead. How could they? But Sameera had those photographs. The ones where she appeared to be really friendly, way too friendly, with Jaffar. It was only natural that they doubted her, but to accept doubt as guilt and to convert allegation into conviction, no parent should do that to their child.

Mayra thought hard, what would she have done, were she in their place? Would she have sided with her daughter or would she have believed those photographs?

She sighed and leaned over to the side table to pull out the only photograph of her parents she had. It was a beautiful picture and it held beautiful memories. Mayra had clicked that photo, on the occasion of her parents' twentieth wedding anniversary. The family had chosen to have a quiet dinner at a five star hotel. Mayra had been really happy with that. She didn't like huge parties. They meant a lot of strangers and she would have to be polite and talk to them. This was much better.

She coaxed and cajoled her mum to stand next to her dad in front of the magnificent lobby and clicked that picture. A moment of joy, a piece of heaven itself, which was the smile on her parents' face and the happiness in their eyes, captured for all eternity.

In her darkest of times, Mayra clutched on to this one memory. It symbolised for her a time where she could talk to her parents about anything under the sun and they would solve all her problems. When she desperately needed them the most, and when they had turned their backs to her and pretended she didn't exist, she spoke to the photo instead. She spoke to that happy memory, laid out all her pain and suffering to that one moment of bliss. She spoke to an illusion. She hoped for a miracle.

Time after time when she called her parents to talk to them, they would slam the phone down at mere sound of her voice when she had barely said, "Salam." Eventually she gave up but her heart ached for them all the time. Her parents were her entire world, she loved them more than anything else. Overnight all that had changed and she had been purged from their lives. Reduced to nothing.

Now, however, times had changed. And boy had they changed drastically. Her parents were craving for their daughter. They wanted to be a part of her life again and they wanted her to open her arms to them.

She hated it when they apologized to her. She hated hearing them say sorry. They were her parents and she respected them far too much to have them humbly apologize to her. Yet the fact remained that what had happened was too harsh a reality to ignore.

She just wasn't ready to talk to them. For two years she had tried and tried till she perfected herself over the instructions her mother had given her the night before her wedding.

"I'm going to say this once, so you better listen to it closely. You are not a part of our lives anymore. Tomorrow, we will be relieved of the responsibility to care for an unworthy and despicable brat like you. Tomorrow, the last ties between us will be broken.

You will not talk to us, you will not call us. We will not be a part of your life. Whatever issues arise at Aamir's house, you will deal with them on your own. We will not come to that house and you will never set foot in this house again.

And, I swear Mayra, if you so much as look at me, or force me to look at your face, I swear you will be the cause of my death! Remember that!"

It felt as though a red hot knife had been plunged into her heart. She never had anyone but her family, and she had lost that too. That night she had listened to those instructions with her head lowered, tears streaming down her face and falling over her henna decorated hands. She couldn't wipe her tears then and the feel of that salty water still lingered in her eyes which bore the shattered remains of the illusion of a family.

A soft knock sounded at the door and Khalid peaked inside. "May I come in, Bhabhi?"

Mayra's face instantly hardened into an emotionless mask at the sound of her brother-in-law. She straightened herself and gently lay Amina on to the bed. Turning slightly towards the door, she nodded curtly, permitting the man to enter.

Khalid, however remained at the door as he sensed her discomfort, and said, "Faiza's downstairs and we're all watching the videotape of her wedding. We just wanted to know if you'd like to join us?"

Mayra shook her head and turned her gaze away.

Sighing, Khalid took two steps forward. "Bhabhi, I'm really very sorry. I know that I've been terrible to you and whatever I said to you was simply unforgivable. I had no right to speak to you like that. I was so distraught at seeing my brother like that and when Fariha Aapa and Ruqsana Aunty kept going on and on about how you were a bad wife, I just accepted that nonsense. Believe me, I've learnt my lesson, and I'll forever be grateful to you. It's because of you that I have my brother back, even though he hates me now for the way I treated you.

"Please forgive me, Bhabhi. I really am very sorry."

Khalid lowered his head and walked out of the room and shut the door behind him, leaving Mayra to her own thoughts again.

She knew one day she would have to face Khalid and that he would eventually apologise, but the hurt and the harsh words didn't allow her to forgive him.

She wanted to scream in agony.

What on earth was happening to her! What kind of an awful position was she stuck in? Aamir, her parents, her brother-in-law? How many people was she required to 'forgive'? How many memories was she required to bury before she could move on?

Why was her life so miserable!

Tired of sitting around and allowing a headache to build, she went downstairs anyway, after rousing Amina. She climbed down the stairs slowly with Amina in her arms and entered the noisy living room. Khalid smiled at her in relief but she looked away and took a seat next to Faiza who greeted her warmly.

They all sat together - Faiza, Khalid, Zara, Fariha and Rafia - and watched the tape together.

One shot captured Aamir in his wheelchair and a serious Mayra fussing over him, feeding him the soup she had made for him and packed in a tiffin box, and wiping his face repeatedly, as the soup dribbled down the side of his mouth, lest he spoil his clothes.

"Bhabhi you look so beautiful!" gushed Zara.

Mayra's cheeks pinked when Faiza nudged her and Rafia said, "the way you took care of Aamir that night truly left all the guests speechless! Every single person that night kept coming up to me and telling me how lucky I was to have such an amazing daughter-in-law. Even Irfan's parents!"

Faiza nodded at the mention of her in-laws. "They still do. In fact even Irfan keeps saying that Aamir is so lucky to have Mayra in his life."

Fariha snorted and rolled her eyes.

Annoyed at her sister's rude behaviour, Faiza narrowed her eyes at her. Everyone was annoyed. It was high time that Mayra had been shown the gratitude and respect she deserved.

Fariha met her sister's glare head on and said, "whatever."

"No!" snapped Faiza, pausing the video. "Its not whatever! Its supposed to be, 'I'm sorry Mayra for all the bad things I did to you!' Enough is enough Aapa. Can't you see how much we have hurt her? How much we have hurt Aamir in the process? For God's sake, just stop it already!"

"Shut up Faiza!" Fariha shot up. "Stop being a fool. We did whatever was best for Aamir. We did it to free him of this .. this bi..woman! It was for Aamir's happiness! Which was with you!"

"It was never with me!" Faiza shouted back. "How blind can you be! Aamir was never mine, or he would have married me ages ago! He chose Mayra over me! Nobody forced him! How can you blame her for that!"

"Stop talking nonsense Faiza!"

"No!" Faiza yelled back. "I'm talking absolute sense! We've held this ridiculous grudge against Mayra for far too long! It's absurd and its unfair. The things we've done to sabotage their relationship disgust me! I can't believe I was a part of that crap! If someone did that to Irfan and me, I would kill them! I have no idea how Mayra could take it. And you know what Aapa? I'm glad I never got married to Aamir! I'm glad because I wouldn't have been able to live with an abusive man. I'm so glad for Irfan because he doesn't even raise his voice at me, let alone raise a hand!

Whatever stupid grudge you and mom have against Mayra, just let it go, because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have been here!"

Mayra's gaze snapped to Faiza's and Fariha instantly picked up that piece of information that Faiza had unknowingly dropped in her angry tirade. "What do you mean?" Fariha said, her voice now calm but dripping with anger at her sister. "What are you hiding from Mom and me?"

Faiza paled at the murderous expression on her elder sister's face. She couldn't believe she had let that slip.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Nothing!" she said, and in a mad rush she picked up her bag and made a run for it, dodging all of Fariha's attempts to stop her.

Everyone stared at Fariha as her sister fled the room and an ominous silence enveloped them all while Fariha turned to glare at Mayra.

"What did she mean? What the hell are you up to?"

Mayra rocked a scared Amina back and forth in her lap and looked at Fariha, "I don't know."

"Liar!" she shouted. "Tell me the truth!"

"Fariha Aapa, please stop it," Khalid tried to intervene, much to Mayra's surprise. When that didn't work he tried to change the topic, "bedsides, look, you're scaring Amina."

That somehow seemed to make her even more angry and she yelled, "Amina! Come here right now!"

When Amina hesitated, Fariha herself yanked Amina from Mayra's arms and scolded her daughter, "you'll never play with her, understand?"

Amina cried and cried and looked longingly at Mayra but Mayra stared back helplessly at her. There was nothing she could do except watch sadly as Fariha dragged her daughter away.

After both sisters had left, Mayra sagged back down in her seat and wondered, how many more lives were going to be ruined by that one secret.

How many more relationships was the shadow of Jaffar going to destroy.

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