******

"I think she wanted to die!"

No. It couldn't be.

"She wanted to be hit!"

No. Stop. He ordered his brain to shut up.

"She wanted to die!"

"No!" Aamir shouted, springing off his bed in frustration holding his throbbing head in his hand. This was not a time to be nursing a headache. This was not a time to be having a war with his mind either. His bedside clock told him that it was three AM. Three hours till Mayra's surgery. Three more hours to stop the madness.

But he knew he couldn't stop it. Arriving at the decision had been hard enough. It had taken several hours of anger, frustration, second-opinions from many other neurosurgeons, rounds and rounds of coffee, tears and words of hope for Aamir to agree that he had to make this choice, or rather accept the fact that he had no choice but to accept this option. He had consented to the surgery last night and since then his heart was beating rapidly in his chest and his mind kept repeating the truck driver's words to him over and over again.

He got up and walked over to the closed doors of his balcony and opened them. Cool breeze brushed his face as he stepped out in the open. This was Mayra's favourite spot in the entire house. He would often find her here, reading, praying, doing some daily work or just sitting here staring into space, her cup of tea long forgotten.

He sat down and closed his eyes. He wanted to think of those few moments when Mayra had been happy. There had been very few of them but they were there and he remembered them vividly for her dazzling smile was not easy to forget.

The first time had been two days after their wedding. The entire family had gathered in the living room and Mayra was bringing afternoon tea for them. He remembered how disgusted he had been at the sight of her, how his heart had cursed her for being the shallow, cold hearted and loose-charactered woman that he thought she was for being involved with Jaffar. Gently she placed the tray at the table and made tea for everyone and served with biscuits. Faiza and her elder sister Fariha had been there. Fariha's two year old daughter, Amina, had grabbed a biscuit and perched herself on Mayra's lap, much to everyone's surprise. Then Mayra and Amina had dipped biscuits in their shared cup of tea and Amina ate them, smudging the moist biscuit on her face. Mayra had laughed then. For the first time Aamir had seen her laugh as she she cleaned Amina's face with a tissue. He was mesmerised as her entire face changed from gloomy to something so beautiful and captivating. A beautiful married woman, with a child in her arms, his heart longed to see her holding their own child someday. He was gawking at her openly and when his sister Zara jokingly commented that he was acting love struck, he slammed the cup down and left the room leaving everyone confused and Mayra scared.

The second time was when he had just returned from office and walked past his parents room when he heard her laughing argument with his father.

"You must drink this Papa!"

"Mayra, I'm not a child, beta! Why should I drink milk? It's disgusting!"

Mayra had laughed at her father-in-law's childish attempt to persuade her and replied, "because you need calcium. Mum told me. Drink it up Papa, and the whole glass. Come on. Come on!"

Aamir had watched amazed as his father did as he was told when all of their efforts to get him to drink his milk had been a waste.

Finishing his glass, his father made a sick face and commented, "Yup, absolutely disgusting!"

Mayra giggled, her soft laughter sounded like a wind chime ringing in the gentle morning breeze. As she was about to leave the room, his father had stopped her with a question, "Is he keeping you happy?"

Mayra and Aamir both knew who he was talking about. Mayra turned to the concerned old man and with a smile answered his question, "I'm very happy here."

All three of them had known how she had deflected the question and chose not reveal the true status of her relationship with the man who was her husband. She walked out with a small smile on her face but as she saw Aamir her smile had vanished instantly, she lowered her gaze and murmuring a soft 'Salam' she had walked away.

"I'm very happy here."

Of course she was lying, Aamir thought rubbing his throbbing temples as he gazed at the moon. There was no way anybody could be happy when they were being bruised and hurt every night. When the person they loved chose to act as a crazed monster, there was no way you could be happy.

It was a full moon night, he realized suddenly as he gazed up at the sky. His wedding night had been a full moon night too. The night when their lives changed forever, they were bound to be together as one - man and woman - in the ties of love, trust and respect. But their marriage hadn't started with that at all. He had loathed her, his respect for her shattered and no way for him to trust her. There was no love. He had wanted to call the wedding off, but it had been too late. The ceremony had been complete. They were already married when Jaffar had come up to him.

"congratulations, bro."

Aamir smiled at the stranger. He had been married for an hour now to the beautiful woman on the other side of the partition where the women were seated. He was dying for a glimpse but he knew he would only get that after the guests left and it would be time to head home.

"Thank you. I'm sorry, I believe I'm at a disadvantage." he replied to the man softly, while shaking his hand.

The stranger laughed heartily as he said, "trust me, you don't want to know who I am."

"Excuse me?"

The man pulled him to a corner and whispered in Aamir's ear. "I'm sorry I'm late. I should have reached earlier to stop the wedding."

Aamir pulled back angrily as he glared at the man, "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Mayra isn't what you think she is." He sighed. "Mayra has been my girlfriend for a year now and.."

"Shut the hell up!" Aamir growled as he grabbed the man's collar. Unaware of the attention he was drawing he dragged him to a sideroom and threw him inside and proceeded to lock the door.

"Hiding me here won't change the truth."

"Who the hell are you? And why are you talking crap about my wife? Speak the truth or I swear you won't walk out of here alive!"

"My name is Jaffar. I studied in Mayra's college. I was her senior. We met about a year back during our annual festival and got on from then. She has been my girlfriend and I wanted to marry her, but her parents refused. I don't blame them. They did it because Mayra being the little bitch she is wanted a rich husband. She wanted the life of a queen, something I could never give. She toyed with my feelings, and now she is about to destroy your life."

"I don't believe you!" Aamir shouted at him. "What is it you are after? Trying to get some money out of me, is that it? You miserable piece of scum!"

"I'm not going to take a penny from you. That should clear your doubt of my intentions. As for proof, see this" Jaffar threw photographs on the table which stunned Aamir into immobility. Slowly he picked them up and saw each one. Several were of Mayra and Jaffar seated together and laughing with a bunch of friends. But one was of Mayra and Jaffar, close up, as they were about to hug.

"I have emails and messages too if you want. Our friends were aware of our relationship. Why do you think her parents were in a rush to get her married? Its because I had threatened to expose her intention to you. I'm sorry I'm late. You could have called off the wedding if I had arrived sooner.."

Aamir didn't even hear the remaining of what the man said. Disgusted, angry and heartbroken he stormed out of the room. Khalid met him on the way out asking him if he was okay, and where he had gone off to. Muttering an "all right" he stormed to the stage to take his seat, hating the woman who was his bride, and swearing to all that he held dearly, he would make her pay.

The throbbing in his head had become a violent pounding by now. How could he have been so stupid? He was an educated, sophisticated and urbane man, his company's Managing Director, and how could he have overlooked that those photos could be computer-generated? How could he have blindly believed what that man said without giving Mayra a chance to explain? How could he have turned violent? Sure he was a short-tempered guy, got angry pretty easily but that never caused him to hurt anyone before.

Then why Mayra?

God, he hated himself so much. Even if Mayra had been guilty, were his actions in any way justifiable? Could he ever forgive himself for what he did to her? Would she ever forgive him?

Never. He knew she wouldn't. He had hurt her too bad. Cut her too deep. He had turned her every dream into a nightmare. Every single dream that any ordinary girl would have, of a married life, of a husband, of starting her very own family. Her own small world in the big scary world outside. Her safe haven.

He had, in Mayra's own words, cheated her of everything she had a right to expect. Mayra's words played back in his head, over and over again.

27th August, 2012.

Dear Diary,

Last night was meant to be the start of my new life. Last night was meant to be a dream. Last night was meant to be so special. Last night will always be my worst worst nightmare.

Forever.

I will never forgive Aamir for last night. I will never forgive him for all that he cheated me of. For every hurtful thing he said.

At my home my parents had left me alone to dress up, wear my attire and jewellery. My dad upon seeing me all dressed up as a bride walked away muttering "good riddance" and my mom scolded me for not walking faster instead of telling me that I looked good. There were no tears of sadness. I hadn't expected any.

The Nikah had been simple enough. Few older aunties came up on stage to bless me, but never my mum. When it was time for me to leave and I saw Aamir coming towards where I was seated, I swear I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. i was a nervous wreck. Before letting us go, it was customary for the father of the bride to place her hand on her husband's, and tell him to take care of her. But my father just stuffed my hand into Aamir's and walked away. I was sitting there in shock as it was the first time I was touching a man, but then Aamir suddenly gripped my hand so tight I thought my bones would break. Tears were running down my cheeks and everybody thought it was the bride crying over having to leave her family behind.

In that moment, I was crying, for the fear of losing the comfort of my previous life, leaving my parents, and over the reasons why Aamir was crushing my hand. I was scared to death.

The ride home had been silent. Aamir let go my hand the instant we sat in the car, didn't touch me or look at me again. The moment we reached home, Aamir whispered something in his mother's ear, and she immediately instructed his sister to take me to our room.

I was so nervous and scared. I was on my own. I needed someone to tell me I was going to be okay. I needed someone to tell me that everything was going to be fine. I never felt so alone in all my life.

Zara took me to Aamir's - our room- and I sat upon the farther edge of the bed, my back to the door, trying to pull myself together. I heard the door open and close as Aamir walked into the room and locked the door. My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I wondered what he was going to do. And what I should probably do as his bride.

Little did I know.

I was mid-thought as two strong hands pushed hard at my back and I fell down from the bed. Horrified I turned around to see Aamir standing by the bed with a look of such utmost rage and hate filled in his eyes that I momentarily forgot the pain in my now pounding head.

"Aamir?" I whispered.

"Don't you dare take my name from that filthy mouth of yours, you filthy bitch. How dare you sit on my bed!" He shouted at me. I stared at him stunned as he paced the room. I knew I was crying, but I couldn't move, not even to wipe my tears. I stared at him dumb while he walked around angrily. Suddenly he turned to face me and said. "You think I will treat you as my wife?You think I'll give you a penny of my money? You think it's so damn easy to exploit me, you gold-digging whore?"

"What are you saying!" I managed to scream back but the way his eyes snapped to mine and he came at me, I crawled back to a wall, but in a flash he was in front of me, his hand fisted in my hair as he pulled me up and threw me across the room. I hit the opposite wall directly on my head. I was bleeding by now. I slumped to the ground as he walked over and kicked me in the stomach.

"Open your mouth and I'll kill you bitch! You. Are. Nothing. To. Me." He said in between kicks to stomach and side.

Finally, he walked away. I lay on the floor of my new room which was decorated with candles, rose petals, flowers and a bruised and bleeding bride on the floor.

My life was destroyed this night.

"Our life was destroyed that night." Aamir whispered to the quiet of the night as he wiped the tears off his face and headed inside. Pulling out a prayer mat he went down in prostration and cried. Begging. For forgiveness and for Mayra's life.

When he lifted his head off the ground, and knew that it was time to get to the hospital for Mayra's surgery, he was ready.

********

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Firstly, Love you guys for the comments and votes! Thanks so much! It gives me such a boost to write. I'm craving your words even more now!! Plz continue to comment and vote!! Means a lot to me!!

God, the parts where the memories are. those are the hardest to write. I write and rewrite and rewrite again before I publish a chapter. Want to make it long and nice. Especially for you guys!

Hope you guys like this peek into Aamir and Mayra's life. (Pretty sad really. But so so common, unfortunately!)

Love you guys!!

CrazyPunter