《Your Guide to Writing the Perfect Story》How to Write Romance

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I've been looking forward to this chapter. It's become a trend in practically every genre there is to have some sort of shape or form of romance. That doesn't make it cliché or typical because people have come to expect it; many are disappointed when there isn't romance. I'm not a psychologist so I can't explain why we like to read romance, but the fact remains. Since it is such a key part of most stories, I've decided to include a little chapter on what makes a good romance.

The first thing you should know about writing any romance is not to rush into it. Give your readers time to get to know both characters and see how they interact first. They shouldn't be getting together for long after people start shipping them, much less before. I like to say that a romance is only good until the first kiss. The reason why is because as soon as that kiss happens it confirms that the writer has plans for them. It takes all the fun out of the guesswork and satisfies our curiosity. You never want to satisfy a reader's curiosity until the very end.

The slower the burn, the better the romance. You should build so much tension that your readers will be bursting at the seams when the two finally do get together. And once the two characters do eventually get together, they shouldn't be busting out the "I love you"'s two weeks later, even if they have loved each other for a long time. Don't rush the relationship once it begins. Let it develop slowly but surely. Something to note is that the lack of a build up towards a relationship that starts before the book begins is the reason why they don't emanate as much with readers.

Oh, and just a tip, but I personally hate when writers make such a big deal out of saying "I love you" in books, which happens in practically every single one. Sure, I get that it is kind of a big deal and definitely overwhelming realizing that you are in love with someone, but it starts getting eye-roll worthy after a while. It's fine for someone to believe telling someone they love them is a big step and a huge confession for them but once they start saying "I love you" after every interaction, I want to choke them. We got it the first time. The phrase tends to get over-used and it makes your story lean towards the sappy side more than the romantic side on the spectrum, which you don't want. Say it once and leave it be. The reality is that once the words have been spoken, the readers know that the two people really do love each other. We don't need ten more reminders. Call me a grump if you want to but there's a time to draw the line.

I said to draw out a romance as long as possible before making it real, but there will come a time when you need to let the romance happen. How do you prevent it from becoming boring? Well, conflict is a good place to start. Realistically, all relationships have their issues so your couple should, too. That includes both an internal conflict and external conflict.

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At least one of the characters should be concerned about the consequences of having a relationship with the particular person and they should struggle with that. It could be because they are afraid of having their heart broken, the relationship will distract them from what they want to achieve, sometimes even preventing it, or they think that keeping someone close will put the one they love in danger. Those are just a few ideas. Another internal conflict stems from the belief that two people aren't supposed to be together, because of some circumstance. This is most commonly referred to as "star-crossed lovers". The reason why it is seen so commonly is because it works. You don't have to have star-crossed lovers but you should think about it and decide whether it fits your story.

The other type of conflict I mentioned was external conflict. This can be created from different viewpoints or values/loyalties between your two lovers. Like it or not, but they have to disagree and not just once in a while -- a lot. If they don't your readers will get bored; the relationship will be too stable. Sometimes the arguments even come from one person caring too much about the other that they are becoming overprotective. Although I don't suggest playing that card -- it always ends in your readers get pissed off at one person. The point is, try and keep your lovers in conflict with each other most of the time with a little bit of sweet and romantic moments in between so that we don't stop rooting for them.

The third tip is about differences. I mentioned this in my chapter about writing good love interests. I'm just going to quote what I said there for you because it basically follows the same general idea.

"Just because two characters love each other, doesn't mean they are each other. All characters should be distinctly unique, especially those as important as these two. If they are different, more interesting situations and conflict can be created from it. Ever heard the saying "opposites attract"? Keep that in mind. Many people see only flaws when they look in the mirror. Don't let your character look at their lover and see themself."

That pretty much sums up why they need to be different. And don't forget that differences create conflict.

Sweet beats sexy. I'm going to assume you aren't writing erotica, so you should probably think about that. It's always the sweet and romantic moments that we remember the most and the ones that make us smile, not the sex scenes. In fact, usually those scenes end up taking away from the novel because it makes their love seem like lust, even if it isn't. If you don't know how to write them well, don't write them at all or fade to black before they begin.

For people to love your couple, they have to learn to love both characters individually first. That means that both must have their own motives, their own flaws, their own backstory and, most of all, they should be three-dimensional. Your characters have to be likeable and don't forget that not all likeable characters have likeable personalities in real life, but they love each other, with all their imperfections, anyway. See my chapter on writing good love interests and 3D characters for more information on how to do this.

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"The first is understanding. This is because of shared experiences and the love interest's past. They should be able to or at least try to understand what their counterpart is going through. There should be empathy there.

The next is trust. This is one that definitely needs to come with time. As it goes on, both people in the relationship should learn to depend on and trust the other. It's one simple step to every formula on creating great romantic relationships.

My third is a very important one and something I feel very strongly about. Women are not inferior to men and should not be treated as such. There should be respect on both sides of the equation, not just the female respecting the male. And the man (remember that this still applies to same-sex relationships) should not assume he is superior. If he does, it's an unhealthy relationship, which isn't something I personally would care to read about.

The last necessity is support. Even if they don't always agree with each other, these two should come around in the end and support the other's decisions or help support them with whatever they are going through. In the end, they should be a shoulder to cry on."

You may have noticed that this chapter covers a lot of the same things from my chapter on love interests. This next tip is something I talked about under that chapter as well, which is sacrifice. Both people in the relationship should be willing to sacrifice something big, maybe even their own life, in order to protect the other. That's how deep their love should go for each other. This should come up in your story at some point. Sacrifice is a huge theme in almost all successful novels with romance.

Don't be gross in your love story. This kind of falls under the "sweet beats sexy" category. Remember that unless you are writing erotica, it can afford to stay off the page. We don't need nasty descriptions of your fantasies. I don't believe it's necessary for me to elaborate.

The plot of your story should be your top priority, not the romance, unless you are writing a romance novel. Remember to focus on the goal in mind. Your readers may want romance, but too much of it can ruin a perfectly fine plot. Your readers need a break. Romance should be a sub-plot. Think about the theme of your book, of your protagonist's platonic relationships, and what the novel is really about. Even in a romance novel, there should still be a break for that other good stuff. Readers should have time to breathe. The romance shouldn't become your story; it should just be an element. I talk more on this in my chapter "Love Triangles" so feel free to take a look.

Don't make your protagonist weepy. There is honestly almost nothing that makes me hate a character more. Your character shouldn't rely on her lover to function properly (assuming it's a girl). Let her pick herself up, move forward, and do something on her own, even if she doesn't have anyone by her side to support her. Crying is okay once in awhile and is actually very good to use sparingly because it represents very powerful emotions, but enough is enough. When characters start getting sorry for themselves and weepy it will piss your readers off, guaranteed. Pick them up and force them forward. The romance shouldn't control her if something goes awry. If you can keep your protagonist strong through the rough patches, they will gain much more respect from the audience.

My next tip is to try and avoid getting sappy as much as possible. Earlier in the chapter I talked about the over-use of "I love you". I think I made myself pretty clear so I won't bore you with that anymore. There's a fine line between romantic and sappy; if you cross it, you'll know and if you don't someone will probably point it out to you. If writing a romance, consider getting a friend to read over your work and tell you if something seems melodramatic or sappy.

This tip should be simple enough. Avoid clichés in romance. There are so many it's ridiculous. If you are unclear of some examples, just search it up and you'll find many results. Avoid them as much as possible. Try and make your particular love story different from others -- those are the ones that stick with us. They make as swoon, laugh and cry. Write one of those. The kind that will surprise readers and make them happy at the same time.

The final question: why? Why does so-and-so love so-and-so? Why would they do anything for the other? Why do readers want to root for them? Why, why, why? Why do they connect? Make sure there is always a reason behind a relationship that explains why two people connect so much and why they love each other. It shouldn't be because he has abs or she has the nicest hair and does her make-up just right. It shouldn't be superficial.

That's all, my friends. I hope this helped you out! I'm looking forward to reading some top-notch romance novels!

Again, I'd love to hear what you have to say. Please comment below. Thanks, as always, and I hope you'll continue reading!

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