I watch as Natalie's eyes water and she takes a few deep breaths, looking around the room. My heart hurts watching her and a fresh bout of self loathing crashes through me. I did this. The reason we aren't sharing this room is because of me. I know that, but it doesn't stop the ache in my chest. The longing I feel for my mate.

"Look, Nat. You can use this room if you want." I say gently. She swipes a hand across her face to stop her tears and shakes her head, walking passed me into the hallway.

"No. I'll use the one with the bathroom. Thanks." She says, making a beeline for the door.

"I'll get you some black out curtains." I tell her, knowing living with her will be hard enough, but dealing with a pissy Natalie right away in the morning is even worse.

"Don't worry about it." She snaps before she slams the door in my face. I sigh and stand outside of it, listening to her cry. My wolf whines in my head and I feel like my chest is being split open in two. She lets out another sob and I clench my fists to keep myself from barreling into the room.

"Natalie, please." I beg, knocking on the door.

"Just leave me alone!" She yells and I sniffle back my own tears.

I have no right to cry.

I walk back to my own room, shutting the door behind me and pacing the small space before I mind link my brother.

'What were you thinking, bringing her here?' I ask and I feel Eli accept the link.

'She's our mate. She should live with us.' He says and I scoff, anger welling in me.

'She's your mate. Not mine. She's made that very clear.' I respond and I can feel his frustration through the link.

'She walked in on you with another woman yesterday. Give her some fucking time to process, Jude. Besides, do you think her staying away is going to help her forgive you? Help your bond grow? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to make it fucking right.' He says harshly and I sigh running an annoyed hand through my hair.

'She wants nothing to do with me. And I don't blame her.' I say sadly and Eli sighs.

'Then move out if you want. But I'm not going to be away from my mate because of your shitty decisions.' He says a firmly and I feel even worse about putting my brother through this shit as well as Natalie.

'You're right. I'm sorry.' I tell him.

'What were you thinking?' He asks and I can tell he just genuinely wants to know.

'I don't know, Eli. It's hard to think right when your wolf won't let you sleep or eat. When all he does is shove images of your mate into your head every moment of every fucking day. Fucking someone else was the only way to piss him off enough that he would shut the hell up and leave me alone.' I seethe and my wolf whines in my head again. He knows this is his fault too.

'Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me?' He asks and a little growl escapes me.

'I don't know. I honestly didn't think you could do anything to help me. You were handling it so much better than me.' I tell him.

'I really wasn't. I was struggling too. We could have dealt with it together. But now we have a much bigger problem.' He says and I throw myself back on my bed, curling my fingers in my hair.

'What should I do?' I ask.

'Just give her some time. Leave her be. Show her you can respect her boundaries.' He says.

'Alright. When will you be back?' I ask.

'Couple hours.'

'I'll make dinner.' I tell him before cutting the link.

I get out of my bed and can still smell faint traces of Corinne. My stomach roils at the thought and I nearly vomit. I strip my bed and my clothes, throwing them all in the washing machine before I take a shower. I wish I could burn them instead. After my shower I go to the kitchen and start to cook. We had gotten all of Natalie's favorites when we went to the store a few days ago to prepare for her to come home. I hadn't planned on cooking for her under these circumstances, but wolves are very food driven.

Maybe I can feed her into loving me.

I cook her steak the way she likes it and make the mashed potatoes with her favorite garlic butter. I even bake her brownies with the caramel in them, just like my mom taught me. I hear movement from upstairs and watch as Natalie comes down the stairs, her arms crossed over her chest watching me curiously.

"You hungry?" I ask and she shrugs.

"Not really." She says and I sigh a little.

"It's your favorite..." I try to persuade her but she just rolls her eyes and walks away.

"I'll wait till Eli gets back." She says and I chase after her.

"He'll be home any minute just... wait. If we're going to live together we can at least be civil. Be in the same room. Right?" I ask and I watch as her eyes fill with tears again.

"I don't see how." She whispers and my brow furrows in confusion.

"Why?" I ask as a tear slips down her face. She wipes it away and takes a step back.

"Because every time I look at you, all I see is her on top of you." She says, her voice wobbling with emotion. All the breath pushes from my lungs and my hand goes to my chest, trying to stop the pain clenching in my heart.

"Natalie..." I say, reaching for her, but she shakes her head and backs away.

"This was a bad idea." She says dashing up the stairs.

"Natalie!" I yell this time and she stops, turning to look at me with wide eyes. I sigh again, running my hands through my hair and pulling a little as frustration takes over.

"What, Jude?" She asks, my name from her mouth sounding like music. It takes me off guard and I'm overwhelm with emotion, sinking to my knees in front of her as she walks back towards me, watching me with concerned eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I murmur, my head lowered in my hands. I hear Natalie sigh before sparks flit across my skin. My head pops up to see her hand in my hair.

She lowers herself next to me, a sad look on her face as she cups my face in her hands. It feels so good to have her touch me I close my eyes and lean in to her touch, enjoying it for as long as she will give it.

"I know you're sorry, Jude." She says quietly and I open my eyes to look at her. "But being sorry doesn't change the fact that it happened." She adds and I nod in understanding.

"Were you going to tell me?" She asks and I look at her again.

"Tell you what?" I ask and her eyes darken as her wolf presses forward.

"When I came home and recognized you as my mate, were you going to tell me that you slept with her?" She asks and I shake my head, figuring there's no point in lying now.

"No. I picked her because nobody likes her and I knew no one would believe her if she told people." I say and Natalie nods.

"Thank you for telling me the truth." She says quietly and I pull away from her, being this close to her is almost more painful than having to stay away.

"Go eat, Nat. I'll leave you alone." I say sadly, walking passed her and up the stairs.

Just as I reach the top of the stairs, I hear the door open and look behind me to see Eli walk in. He smiles at Natalie and she returns the gesture as he scoops her into a hug and swings her around.

"Hey, sunshine! I could get used to coming home to you." He says, tucking his face into her neck. A bout of jealousy flows through me, not that she is with my brother, but that I can't hold her like that. Eli must sense it because his eyes slip to me and he puts her down, kissing her cheek.

"Something smells good." He says and Natalie nods.

"Jude cooked." She says and Eli smiles.

"Good. He's way better in the kitchen than you." He teases Natalie and she gasps, smacking his chest playfully and he growls back, reaching out to tickle her. Her peals of laughter fill the space and I can't help but smile to myself at the sound. When he finally stops she takes a minute to catch her breath before her eyes swing to me.

"Come eat with us, Jude." She says and a small bout of excitement goes through me.

At least it's something.