《LACUNA ✰ BNHA》65: HACKING SKILLZ
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In which [Name], Tamaki, and Kirishima successfully (?) infiltrate the villain hideout.
warning: this chapter kinda shit lmfao plz read a/n at end
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walking down the street with her hands in her pockets.
Tamaki, Kirishima, and [Name] were currently "sneaking" to the location specified in their mission details. Tomorrow was a big day-- The heroes were planning on taking down Overhaul and the Shie Hassaikai.
However, the current trio had been handpicked for a small, last-minute scouting mission to casually examine a suspected temporary villain hideout, and see if they were going to be involved with what was happening tomorrow.
"You know what's not fair? I've been getting paid $1 less than you on every paycheck! What are you doing that I'm not?" Kirishima yelled loudly.
"It's because I'm built different," [Name] smirked. "Just kidding, my secret is... I bribe Fatgum with candy on every patrol."
"That's dishonest! Not manly at all!" Kirishima gasped. "Besides, what do you even want to do with that much money?"
"Oh you baby bitch," [Name] rolled her eyes with a smile. "Also, I don't know, I'd probably buy a bra for Bakugo or some shit. Oh, fuck, a Dunkin Donuts- can we go get the Charli?"
Tamaki turned around, a vein popping out of his forehead.
"Jeez, we're supported to be QUIET here! I already KNOW the villains can hear your loud asses from a mile away! And god, [Name], the Charli? Do you WANT your a-hole to be ripped apart?" The purple-haired boy threw his hands up in the air with frustration.
[Name] and Kirishima stared back at their upperclassman, eyes wide.
"Uhh... I mean, p-pwease be quiet guys, *shy boy uwu*" Tamaki blushed, turning around and going back.
"I can't tell which one of those sentences was worse..." Kirishima cringed. Needless to say, the rest of the way to the hideout was quiet asf.
_______
"Okay. Everyone get in place or I'll rip your kneecaps off..."
[Name] gulped quietly as she peaked around the corner to see a tuft of faded blue hair in the room across from her. Her muscles were tense as she sweat slightly, face pale.
She was staring right at a room full of villains... In maid dresses and cat ears.
Kirishima had one hand tightly gripped around [Name]'s waist. With [Name]'s hair up, she could feel his warm breaths fan out across her neck as she shuddered in his arms. Kirishima's heartbeat pounded against [Name] as his frozen chest muscles pressed against the girl's upper back.
How did the two get into this awkward situation? Well, Tamaki told [Name] and Kirishima to stand outside the shady ass building while he sneaked inside and bugged the villain's back rooms with mics that could pick up sound. However, the speakers began to malfunction.
So, here [Name] and Kirishima were, hiding out in the warehouse room across from the very one where Shigaraki and his team were plotting some kind of diabolical plan. Of course, [Name] just had to go and almost step on a loose floorboard, which would have called attention to the two students, so Kirishima had grabbed her before she could-- and here the two were.
As for the maid dresses, that part was still unknown.
Kirishima let out a soft sigh as he let go of [Name], after the girl balanced on her own two feet once again.
"Thanks Kiri," [Name] whispered to him. "You can let go of my leg now."
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"What?"
"I said, let go of my leg-- It tickles--" [Name] snorted, trying to hold back laughs.
"I'm not touching your leg--"
[Name] widened her eyes and paled as she looked down and saw something that made her heart drop-- A cockroach, twerking its way up her leg.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIT! HELL NOOOO!" [Name] screeched bloody murder. "NOT A BITCHASS BUG CRAWLING UP MY LEGGGG!"
"Nya~ what the hell was that?" Shigaraki asked, widening his eyes and pounced to the doorway, his cat ears twitching.
"[Name]!" Kirishima widened his eyes and grabbed the girl, frantically looking around. He saw a closet and quite literally chucked the girl inside, waddling in and squishing inside with her.
"So,,, aha,,, 7 minutes in heaven 😏 ?" [Name] smirked. Kirishima just flicked her nose lightly and glared at her.
"Maybe later, [Name].."
"I guess he doesn't want that WAP 😔 " [Name] said sadly, as she sat down. "Ow!"
"What?" Whispered Kirishima.
"There's something really hard under my ass!" [Name] whined.
"I really wish you didn't say it like that," Kirishima grumbled, blushing slightly. [Name] reached under her glorious cheeks and produced a computer from under where she was sitting.
"Did you just pull a computer out of your ass?"
"I wish, but nah, I think it's Shiggy's," [Name] snickered. "Just look at this Fortnite background! Oh my god, why is he on wikifeet-"
"[Name]... They're getting closer..." Kirishima paled, as the footsteps of the villains running around began to get louder.
"Yooo, c'mon let's play some Roblox while we wait," [Name] said, logging into Shigaraki's account and buying an immense amount of Robux with his credit card. "Dude, look, I found musty and dusty's social security number! I'm gonna use this to commit tax fraud la--"
"[Name], we need to find a way to get out of here," Kirishima sweat nervously as he cutely tugged at her sleeve.
"Hold on-- OH SHIT! A FREE FUCKIN IPHONE 13?! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!" [Name] yelled, spam clicking on the shitty neon ad with comic sans text. It was obvious the ad had a ton of viruses, atleast to someone with common sense.
"[Name], don't tell me you click on those types of ads! Your computer must be filled with viruses!" Kirishima hissed.
"Not my computer, not my problem," [Name] smirked as she pulled up some complicated looking computer application on Shigaraki's old laptop.
"Ok nerd," Kirishima rolled his eyes. "But we still need to find a way out of here, this is no time for computer programming--"
"And done!" [Name] smiled proudly, closing the laptop. "I just hacked the shit out of this warehouse."
She pulled out her phone and suddenly, 'WAP' began to blare on the speakers.
"FUCK!" Shigaraki yelled from the next room over, slamming his hands over his ears, as the entire room burst into chaos.
"Gaw damn, this is my new religion," [Name] said, bowing on the ground to Dabi shaking his juicy ass to the WAP dance in a maid dress and cat ears, while Toga, who was in a tuxedo, threw money on him.
"I WANT YOU TO PARK THAT BIG MACK TRUCK RIGHT IN THIS LITTLE GARAGE!" Twice sang along with passion, tears in his eyes.
[Name] grabbed Kirishima's hand as the two dashed out the door and hung around the side of the building, closely listening in. The villains failed to notice the two as everything went to hell.
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"Quick! See who connected to the Bluetooth!" Shigaraki hissed at Kurogiri.
"Uh... Dabi'sjuicyleftnut's IPhone?" Kurogiri said slowly, looking around the room.
"...[NAME]!!!" Shigaraki cursed the heavens, dashing to his large and epic gamer computer setup with a rainbow LED keyboard.
"THIS BITCH HACKED EVERYTHING!" Shigaraki wailed. "HOW WILL I COMPLETE MY ANNUAL TEA PARTY AND PLOT TO DESTROY THE EARTH NOW?!"
"Damn.. they weren't doing anything illegal? Now I feel bad," [Name] said sadly, as Kirishima slapped his huge coochie clencher hand over her mouth to shut her up.
"SHE HACKED MY COMPUTER TOO? AND THE OFFICIAL LEAGUE OF VILLAINS WEBSITE!" Shigaraki leaned over the computer angrily.
"Yoo, is that a sexy Naruto game hentai ad?" Dabi poked at the screen.
"GET RID OF THIS!" Shigaraki commanded, as Kurogiri nodded.
NO, WAIT!" Spinner begged. "CLICK ON IT! I NEED TO SEE THE SEGGSY MILFS LOCATED 3 MILES WITHIN ME!"
"Sent outside for being horny." Shigaraki glared, pointing towards the door.
"Just like half of you fanfic-reading motherfuckers," Dabi purred, staring at the camera like he was in The Office.
"Yes sir," Spinner said sadly. Kirishima grabbed [Name]'s hand and dragged her behind the adjacent wall as the lizard-man opened the door and walked outside, fluffing out his maid dress with anger.
"Stupid tea party--" Spinner glared, and then suddenly straightened up, eyes wide. "Shit! WHO'S THERE!"
"It's me." [Name] leaped out from behind the wall, kicking the villain straight in the face. "I'm the milf."
"Nice one, [Name]!" Kirishima grinned, giving her a thumbs up.
"C'mon, Kirishima! We gotta get out of here before all the kpop fans arrive! I gave them this address and told them their favorites would be here!" [Name] grabbed Kirishima's hand as the two ran off into the sunset, somehow forgetting about Tamaki who was still somehow in the warehouse's attic.
_______
The three students had successfully escaped, and were now walking through town to find a place to eat, laughing at Shigaraki in a maid dress in the midst of numerous fancams plastered all over Twitter.
They had also gotten a chance to do some shopping, conveniently. [Name] was wearing a white and pink plaid skirt with a cinnamoroll crop top. Kirishima wore black sweats, a hoodie, and Nike shoes (drip too hard) while Tamaki wore a soft boy teddy bear collared sweatshirt and jeans. And yes, [Name] had gotten a chance to buy Bakugo his bra.
"Kid, you're already done with your mission?" A cheerful voice said from above, accompanied by the gentle flapping sound of wings.
"Hawks!" [Name] said excitedly, pouncing on him and hugging him, almost causing the chicken-man to fall over. The two began to catch up excitedly.
"Since when were they that close?" Kirishima pouted, turning towards Tamaki. The purple-haired boy could only shrug, but he looked a bit upset too.
"Calm down boys, I'm not interested in your boring little harem. Like I said, I'm too old, and too cool for this nerd." Hawks laughed heartily, causing the two high school students to blush and look at the ground. "Now, how about I treat you guys to dinner?"
That proposal led to Tamaki and Kirishima awkwardly sat across Hawks and [Name], the latter now yelling at Hawks for posting thirst-traps on straightok.
"Hey kids, want some wine? I won't tell anyone," Hawks basically yelled to the entire fucking world, pushing the glass of red liquid towards [Name].
"WHAT?! DO NOT GIVE HER WINE!" [Name] heard a voice scream from Hawk's pocket.
"Hey, why is your ass speaking to me?" [Name] said with a 'no thoughts, head empty' face, truly believing she had ascended consciousness.
"Oh, must have butt dialed Aizawa, haha. Don't worry old man! I'm not giving her too much, just one glass!" The blonde laughed heartily, hanging up as Aizawa's screeching was cut short.
The winged pro hero then suddenly turned to [Name], a serious look on his face.
"Hey baby bird, take off your shirt."
"WHAT?!" Kirishima spit out his drink, quickly putting his hand out in front of [Name].
"S-Sir, that's inappropriate!" Tamaki paled.
However, [Name] was already digging through her bra, finally pulling out a feather, as Kirishima looked on with confusion and Tamaki nosebled a little bit.
"Here," Hawks said. He handed [Name] a thin chain. "I know your mission's tomorrow kid, so I'm giving you this chain. Attach it to my feather. Keep it. I know taking down the Hassaikai's gonna be hard and scary.. But I believe in you. And I think it's best you keep my feather on a necklace."
"Do you doubt my combat skills?" [Name] huffed, but couldn't help smiling lightly. "Thanks, Keigo. Finally, I don't have to stash it away in my bra. Do you know how awkward it is to explain to people why my left boob keeps moving and is bigger than the right one?"
"No problem, kid. Stay safe, okay? Tomorrow's a big day for you."
Indeed it was. Not only did it decide the fate of a little girl's life, but it decided the safety of society as a whole.
Well, I guess I better not fuck it up, [Name] sighed, inhaling her [f/f] with a slight twinge of anxiety, but mostly bad bitch energy.
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hello everyone! sorry for my absence! this time of the year is always busy and i'm having a very hard school year!
also, thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! everyone's love made me so happy! i'm now 17, only one more year till i'm moving out n going to college hehehe excited
anyways, idk what i'm going to do with this book, honestly. i'm not much motivated to write mha anymore, as i'm more into new things like attack on titan and devilman crybaby (HELLO IM IN LOVE WITH AKIRA FUDO!!!)
but yeah. i'm not discontinuing it or anything, i just feel like i'm letting a lot of people down bc i don't write much anymore, and when I do, it's kind of shitty (atleast by my standards, so please understand that i'm not fishing or anything. i truly just have no motivation for mha anymore). but yes i'll figure something out because i hate leaving books without finishing them!
thank you for all your support!
-love, bella
edit: so i know i have a lot of new readers, and i'm sorry you have to see me lose motivation at this point in time!
but I'd just like to plug my discord server bc its gotten kind of inactive and i'd like to revive it!
https://discord.gg/9PHkxsw
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