《LACUNA ✰ BNHA》58: FLOSS LIKE A BOSS
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In which [name] delivers justice and lives up to her title as the peepee purger™.
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[Name] screamed as she launched towards the villain with her fist reeling back.
The man simply smirked and opened his mouth, and [Name] jumped back at the stinging sensation on her bare and exposed arm. However, not before sneaking in a punch to the criminal's nono square.
"OWWW! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" He yelled, clutching his precious goods. "THAT WAS A DIRTY MOVE, YOU COWARD!"
"THE ASSAULT OF BALLS AND ALSO NUTS ARE NOT EXEMPT WHEN DELIVERING JUSTICE TO THE LAW!!!" [Name] screeched, failing to realize that news reporters were present and this was probably being broadcasted live to all of Japan.
"[Name], y-your arm..." Tamaki said quietly. [Name] looked down to see the fabric of her cloth slightly torn. Her [s/c] skin was slightly irritated, but she would have to deal with it later.
"That's right. My quirk allows me to breathe any element or chemical combination I want from my lungs, as long as they aren't solid or liquids!" The criminal laughed evilly.
"Dude, that quirk is asscheeks." [Name] deadpanned.
"What?!" He growled, as an imaginary arrow went through his ego. "How dare you! It's the coolest!"
"Yeah okay chlorine breath," [Name] sighed, massaging her head. "Tamaki, let's just leave. This guy is just a wannabe-"
In a split second, the man had appeared in front of [Name], grabbed her wrist, and ever so gently blew a soft puff of air towards it.
"What the fuck did your stank breath do to me?!" [Name] yelled while also dragging a hoe, clutching her wrist as a burning yet numbing feeling stabbed at her under her skin.
"Relax, I just wanted to show you what my quirk can do!" He jumped back, laughing as [Name] frantically waved her wrist around in the air. "It's a chemical that paralyses your nerves! But don't worry, I made sure to pinpoint a vestigial one in your body. Just get used to that numbing feeling for the rest of your life!"
"Bruh I already experience the feeling of numbness every day of my life 😔," [Name] cried.
"Damn, that was deep. Apple music, play the Demon Slayer theme song 😔💔"
"You use Apple Music? Damn, no wonder you're facing jail time," [Name] snorted.
The two engaged in combat, both going at each other with their fists until they both grew tired, and jumped back again.
"If we're gonna plan to keep battling it out with our fists, we might as well go home. I have some important activities to pursue, all of which include my sugar daddy-"
The criminal, tired of small talk, suddenly lunged towards [Name] again, no doubt preparing to expend from his lungs the same, paralyzing chemical.
[Name] smirked at the challenge and took a fighting stance, but widened her [e/c] eyes with horror as the villain suddenly, faster than lightning, changed his course and headed straight for-
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"-TAMAKI!" [Name] yelled. Because it all happened so quick and was an unexpected change of course by the criminal, Tamaki didn't have time to dodge.
[Name] clenched her jaw and quickly launched herself forward with the help of generated energy around her feet.
Jumping in front of Tamaki's body, she grit her teeth and prepared for her life to be changed forever. In mere milliseconds, the girl wouldn't be able to move ever again. [Name] screwed her eyes shut, raising her arms to atleast protect Tamaki from the dangerous chemical.
The world doesn't need to lose a talented hero like him, but it's okay if I go, all I do is sleep and eat anyways, 😳.
"What the- KHH!"
[Name] opened her eyes in surprise to see the criminal on the ground, coughing up grains of burned plasma.
"My lungs! I can't use my quirk!" He wheezed like All for One's old ass on life support.
"Ash?" Tamaki furrowed his eyebrows. [Name] looked down to see the powdered particles covering her fingertips as a wave of exhaustion passed over her. Her body felt empty, drained of plasma particles, a signal of her quirk overuse.
"I am sleep now," [Name] giggled like a whole clown before she passed the fuck out on her upperclassman.
Tamaki's (face) cheeks went red as the crowd cheered and cameras flashed.
"What's going on? Are you two hurt?" Fatgum's voice yelled over the crowd as he dashed to the two, Kirishima behind him.
"You should have seen the way I dookied on that villain! I-" Kirishima suddenly paused as he caught sight of [Name].
"[Name]? I-Is she okay?!" He asked frantically, going slightly pale and shaky.
"She's fine. Just exhausted from quirk overuse."
Kirishima sighed with relief, smiling slightly and holding her hand, beyond happy to feel a pulse, and thankful that [Name] had lived up to her motto of "bad bitches never die."
Fatgum stared at her for a second, looking between the villain, who was out cold and laying in the middle of a small ripple of ashes, and [Name]'s clothes, which were dusty and crusty™.
"Tamaki, you got her?" Fatgum asked. The boy nodded as he carried [Name] on his back, blushing furiously at the warmth of her body and the close contact of her chest on his back and her face in the crook of his neck, but managing to stay put together for the sole reason that she was passed out.
"His quirk powered up? This drug is banned in Japan, right? The effects were short, so this must have been an inferior version made in Asia." Fatgum explained.
As Fatgum talked to the officer, Kirishima turned to Tamaki.
"Are you okay?" The redhead asked.
"This sucks." Tamaki sighed sadly. "Plus, you and [Name] had to defend me. Just like Mirio. You two always seem to shine like the sun."
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"That's not true! You're like the sun too, Tamaki!"
"In [Name]'s fight, it should have been the other way around. I'm her upperclassman, I should be protecting her, (つд`)." Tamaki looked at the ground.
"Why don't we have you all checked out at the hospital?" Fatgum said, turning towards the three after speaking with the officer. "We can stop by the agency."
After reaching agreement, they all set off towards the agency.
After a few minutes, Tamaki felt [Name] shift slightly on his back.
"Tamaki... Thank you.." She mumbled. Tamaki suddenly stiffened at the sound of her waking up, and almost dropped her there right on the spot- but thank god he didn't because that girl had lost enough brain cells for a lifetime.
"[Name]!" Kirishima beamed excitedly, walking beside Tamaki and taking her hand. "You're awake! We both kicked ass, do you know that? Why don't you let upperclassman Amajiki carry you for now, and then we'll get you checked out at the hospital!"
Tamaki watched Kirishima speak to her with calmness and reassurance. His dark eyes drifted to Kirishima's hand, wrapped in hers. His ears took in the comforting tone he was using with her, causing her to eventually fall asleep again.
I'll never be able to be that person for someone... Tamaki sighed sadly. I guess I'll just die a virgin... I can't even make premarital eye contact... 😔.
As everyone reached the Hero Agency, Tamaki set [Name] down comfortably on one of the plush couches in the lobby.
"Kirishima and I will go get everyone's things!" Fatgum quickly said, dragging the Redhead upstairs, before Tamaki could protest.
He sighed with defeat and sat beside [Name] but at a safe distance, watching her chest rise and fall, paranoid of the possibility that it may cease while she was under his watch.
That would not look good on my college resume...
"Tamaki likes boobies confirmed," [Name] gasped dramatically.
"I-I wasn't staring at your- I-" Tamaki stuttered, becoming more red than a tomato.
"Let's go!" Kirishima yelled, dashing downstairs. "These wounds aren't gonna heal themselves!"
[Name], still fatigued but walking on her own now, excitedly explained to Kirishima her fight, and he in turn, explained his to her.
"YEAH!!! And then he stabbed himself and become like, 20 times stronger!!!" Kirishima roared.
"Woah, if you did that, would you become extra hard?"
As the two kept talking to each other, [Name] began to shiver slightly due to the cold, not noticing as the night became colder.
"H-here." Tamaki said quietly, taking off his cape and wrapping it around her. "I owe you... Thank you."
Fatgum looked at his senior intern with a slightly surprised but proud expression, while Kirishima bit his lip but tried not to show his thoughts. Finally, they arrived at the hospital. After being treated, [Name] collapsed on the bed, succumbing to her exhaustion.
Somewhere in the middle, her weary eyes opened to hear Fatgum talking on the phone with who she assumed to be Aizawa.
"Yes, it was used for some reason. No, it wasn't controlled, but it wasn't as large-scale as how you said it happened before. I think if she can learn to control it, she'll be able to use it in battle... I know it'll be hard, and it'll take time to train her. But it could prove to be useful. Yes, I understand. I think the best option will be for her to try working with other heroes too. I'll speak with Endeavour, Hawks, Miruko... All of them. You too, Eraserhead, goodnight."
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"KIRISHIMA, [NAME]!!!" Kaminari screeched. "YOUR NAMES ARE ALL OVER THE NEWS!"
"HuuuhHH?!" Kirishima yelled.
"Yooo, is my fat juicy ass in the camera?" [Name] questioned, looking over Kaminari's shoulder.
"Red Riot takes charge and fights a villain by himself on the streets from the first day! And Soleilko fought a dangerous villain by herself, too while passionately yelling about male genitalia!"
"HEY POCCHARI! HOW AM I SO BEHIND YOU?!" Bakugo yelled angrily, picking [Name] up effortlessly by the collar of her shirt.
"Ochaco and Tsuyu too! It says that they're new sidekicks at Ryuku's agency! You already have fans!" Mina gushed.
"Ooh that makes me so happy!" Ochaco squealed, as she fist bumped Tsuyu.
"It says that they're cute, too!"
"Grr... *folds ears* *puts tail between legs*" Bakugo sulked in the corner.
"Don't be insecure, Bakugo! You are beautifu- AHg!" [Name] whined as she was thrown to the ground by the blonde.
"Kacchan!" Midoriya widened his eyes with concern at his roughness out of habit. [Name] looked up into his emerald eyes, but Midoriya widened his eyes, blushed slightly, and walked away.
He's been avoiding me for a while now... Did I do something to make him mad? [Name] sighed. Is he too embarrassed to be seen with me out in public? Is it my 'Floss like a boss' limited edition fortnite tshirt? Because if it is-
The female's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the slam of a door. Aizawa walked in, a dark aura around his face.
"[Name]. Why was my credit card charged $369 last night for your Amazon cart which contained mini pro hero figurines, liquid glue, and glass jars?"
"Uh.. I need them for a school project?" [Name] sweat nervously, wishing she was Mirio at the moment so she could slip through the ground.
😔.
__
hi my narcolepsy is getting worse by the day so i can barely do shit
anyways enjoy this chapter yes i know the story is going by slow but im trynna stall before either szn 5 comes out or i finish the book
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