today is the day that my life could be over, forever. i'm 18 so i would go straight to jail. my lawyer is trying to get me to plead insane but we both know i'm not mentally ill. it's just an obsession. i cant help what i like or who i like. it's not a crime to be in love is it? in my case, yes. yes it is. i am so crazy in love that it's about to cost me the rest of my life. i would do anything for this girl. even kill for her. but that still doesn't make me sick, or crazy.

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i woke up early this morning. my parents made finn and i breakfast before we had to get ready for today. honestly, i don't know how this is gonna go or what's gonna happen at all. i was so confident that we were gonna win but now i'm not so sure. why? i don't know. he's a white, 18 year old. does anyone really believe a girl over a white man? no, not really.

i went to my bathroom to finish my makeup. i see the door open in the mirror and finn walks in. he wrapped his hands around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder. he turned me to face him and kissed me on my forehead. "you're going to do great today." he said. i placed my hands on either side of his head and pulled him in closer to me.

"i know i am. we all are. me, you, jack, and soph can really end all of this. since you guys are gonna be called up to the witness stand i just want you to know that you have to be completely honest about anything they ask you. and i mean anything finn." my hands fell off his head sliding down the front of his chest. i turned back to the mirror to finish my makeup.

"i know, my parents have telling me things to keep in mind. i'm pretty sure i know what i'm doing. i just don't want to say the wrong thing you know? like what if they ask me if i was there the night you were raped y/n? and when i say i wasn't there, are people going to think i'm a terrible person for not being there? we're practically dating and i wasn't there when you got raped, i mean that sounds pretty fucked up." he said starting to breath heavily. "finn finn finn, stop. you didn't know. i didn't know. how were any of us supposed to know that was going to happen? i'm asking you again and for the last time to stop blaming yourself. please finn. all of this is going to end today's bf we don't have to worry or talk about it EVER again. got it?

i love you okay? the fact that you weren't there cant change that. nothing can ever change that.

i love you finn." i said. finn again, wrapped his arms around my waist from the front and kissed me. ugh, it just feels like fireworks everytime. "i love you too y/n. and i promise i will never let anything or anyone hurt you. i care about your feelings more than mine.

[for the tate/ahs fans ahahah]

we got in the car, my parents in the front and me and finn in the back. finns parents and his brother were also coming. sophia and jacks families are coming as well. i don't know if i'm truly ready for everybody to know what i've been going through the past few months.

we got to the courthouse and i felt like i couldn't move. finn got out first then walked around the car to open my door for me. whatta guy ya? i linked my arm with his and we walked in together with my parents behind us. when we got in i said my goodbyes to finn and my family and went to get ready with my lawyer, kate.

after an hour me and kate went into the actual court room and took our seats. my parents, finn and his parents, jacks family and sophias family were sitting in the first two rows right behind me. i talked to them for a couple minutes until i heard the gavel. holy shit. before i turned back around, finn grabbed my hand and kissed it. i love you. i'm right here. i smiled and took a deep breath. i turned around feeling like i was literally about to throw up. i saw a door open to my left and saw a couple cops walk in with wyatt in handcuffs right behind them. we made eye contact for a split second before i had to turn back to finn. i couldn't do this. i know finn is right behind me but it still feels like im so so far from him. my eyes started watering before kate turned to me and finn. "y/n, you are so strong. you can do this, i promise." she said. she put her arm around my shoulders and turned me to face the front of the courtroom, to face the judge. i looked back to my left and saw wyatt already staring me down. he smiled and waved and i whipped my head around so fast to kate. "i cant even face him, how am i gonna talk in front of all these people while he's just here?" i said. my hands started shaking. i felt a hand on the back of my shoulder, i knew it was finn and instantly felt safe.

i heard the gavel again.

"all rise" she judge said. everyone stood up and then sat down again. the judge started... "mr. oleff, how do you plead?" wyatt stood up and said "not guilty". my heart dropped but it was also kind of expected. but i'm really glad he didn't plead insane. now he can actually go to jail and i won't have to see him again. ever.

"hello everyone. today i would like to start with my client, y/f/n telling her side of the story. the judge nodded giving another nod to kate. i stood up and walked up to the stand. i put my hand on the bible and repeated what one of the cops told me too. "i swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth." i said. i then sat down and looked up at finn. he gave me a thumbs up and whispered "you got this." i smiled before the judges asked me to start from the beginning.

on september 16th, me and my friend sophia lillis went to a party.

"and who was at the party?" wyatts lawyer asked me. "kids from our school, mostly from our grade." i said. "continue." the judge said. "we, well i, started drinking a little and got drunk. but not drunk to the point where i couldn't see or couldn't remember anything though. i remember that i started getting a little tired until i almost fell. but he caught me. i'm guessing i fell asleep or dosed off in his arms for at least a minute because the next thing i knew, i was in a room... on a bed." i took another deep breath before i looked back up. not at finn though. but at jack. jack could tell i really wasn't doing okay. i mean i know all our families knew it woukd be hard but i knew jack can just see that i'm struggling.

"i remember i went to get up but i got pinned down and couldn't move. i started to say no and i also remeber screaming for help. but nobody came. i felt so alone and i knew what was going to happen next. no matter how much i screamed, cried, and kicked i couldn't stop it. i couldn't stop him." again, i looked up to see my parents holding each other. i know they feel guilty. they're never in town so how were they supposed to know? and i know they blame themselves everyday. "he pinned me down so roughly that my wrists began to ache. he ran his hand up my thigh getting closer to my underwear. i kept screaming and crying but i couldn't hear anything. i coudmbt hear the music or the people talking anymore. i was scared. then he pulled my underwear down and my dress got lifted up. then i fell asleep. i don't know if i blacked out from drinking or passed out from pain that i hadn't even felt yet. i remember waking up and i was all alone. i felt so- so gross and violated. but i still do. i still feel that way to this day. anyways, i walked out of the room in fear, i was hoping he wouldn't see me. i walked over to sophia and asked to go home. she wasn't drinking by the way, she know she was driving. just wanted to clear that up before anyone made any assumptions." i looked over to sophia as she had a hurt look in her eye. everybody blames themselves. everybody.

the judge looked over to me.

"now y/n, is the man who did this to you in the courtroom today?" he said. "yes- he is." i said with a shaky breath. "can you please point to him." the judge said turning to wyatt. i looked up and raised my hand and made direct eye contact with him. i then pointed to him. "wyatt oleff" i said.

hey guyssss, 5 k READS WHATTTTTTTTTT??????? i love you guys thank you so so much. part two of the trial will be out next saturday. i know it's a little long but i hope you guys like!!

not proof read.