imagine. it's been 3 days and to

y/n, her life is ruined. her life is damaged. she is damaged. some people may say or think, "if that happened to someone, why wouldn't they tell someone" or "just tell somebody". it's not that simple. it's really not. and of course there are the people who say things like "well what were you wearing" or "were you drunk?" or "you probably didn't even say no". it's things like that y/n is worried about. scared nobody will take her or her situation seriously. scared even people close to her won't take her seriously.

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i texted sophia when i woke up asking if i can stay at her house for the night. i don't want to be alone. i cant be alone. he might be coming for me. of course she said yes, so i grabbed my charger and backpack, got in my car and drove to sophia's. i stay there all the time so i have a few clothes there and a toothbrush so i never pack anything. i got to her house frantically knocking on her door. finally opening, i see sophias mom, Winona. ugh i love her, she's the sweetest person ever. as soon as she saw me she let me in. we exchanged our heys and hellos or whatever and then i gave her a big hug and then headed up to sophia's room. "hey, why did u wanna stay the night? it's 11 and i thought you were upset. is everything okay?" she says giving me a hug. "i'm sorry soph, i know it's late but i'm just scared he's gonna- i mean i'm just kinda uhh, missin my bestfriend ya know?!" wtf wtf wtf, i almost said something holy shit. "y/n what do you mean?" giving me a concerned look, shit. she heard what i said, im such an idiot. i need to tell her. she's my bestfriend, i have to. i was about to tell her but then my eyes started watering. oh no, i don't wanna cry nooo please not now. "soph i need to tell you something. it's important. i'm sorry and i don't want you to be mad at me or look at me different i didn't do anything-" i completely broke down. "awww y/n it's okay, you can tell me anything, i won't be upset with you i promise." she says getting closer to me, wrapping me up in a blanket. "soph, something actually did happen at the party. i- i um. i was r-r-raped." wow. i told her. she looked up at me, staring. "y/n, i-i don't even know what to say. are you okay? why didn't you tell me?" sophia started crying and seeing her cry made me cry even more. "y/n you have to tell the police. and maybe even finn and ja-" "NO SOPHIA. I CANT TELL THE BOYS. I CANT. WHAT IF THEY LOOK AT ME DIFFERENT OR DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME ANYMORE-" i dropped to the floor, still crying and going ballistic. i'm losing my mind.

i'm losing myself.

sophia sat on the floor propping me up, hugging me the tightest i've ever been hugged.

it's true, i really am losing myself.

and i want to tell the boys, but i can't. what if they think i'm a slut or a whore or- ugh i don't know. i just wish i didn't go to that stupid fucking party. everything is ruined. my mind is no more.

i feel like my life is no more.

finn and jack.. i cant tell you, but i want to. if you ever find out. please still be my bestfriends.

hey guys, kind of a short chapter but a sad, meaningful one. i'm sorry if this triggers anybody or hurts anyone. i love you all and thank you for reading.