My brow knit together, brain scrambling to catch up. "Chase?"

I was expecting to have some more time to process things before I saw him. Twenty more minutes on the drive over to compose my thoughts, formulate the right things to say and plan how to say them.

Right now, I was reeling like I was standing in the aftermath of a high-speed collision, surveying the damage left behind. Smoke in the air, broken glass on the ground and horns still blaring. I had mental whiplash from everything that had just occurred. Learning about the video, Chase seemingly having known about it but not telling me for some reason, Luke sending it to my friends and family—and god knows who else.

Protectiveness washed over me, laced with an undercurrent of sour guilt. No matter what animosity existed between the two of them before, there was no denying that it escalated sharply after Chase I got together. Did Luke circulate that video because I provoked him in our conversation just now? Was he punishing Chase because he was angry with me? My molars clenched and a dizzying anger sparked. It was the lowest of the low, even for Luke.

Placing a hand on the counter to steady myself, I opened my mouth to say something more, closing it again without speaking. A million things did and didn't make sense. Siobhan waited by the door, offering me a gentle, encouraging look as she waited for me to respond. Slowly, my ability to think came partially back online.

"Okay. Can you let him in?" I nodded to the bathroom behind me and began hobbling in that direction, trying to keep from smearing blood all over the beige carpet. "I just need to put a Band-Aid on this cut."

"Sure," she said. "We were just about to head out anyway. To get, uh, some late dinner. Right, Dal?"

His light blue eyes flicked over to her and he nodded. "Right."

It was a blatant lie. Shiv told me they were planning to stay in to have a movie marathon with Murder Mayhem films one through five. She'd hit the store earlier for snacks and they were both were clearly in veg mode. Her long espresso hair was piled into a messy bun that I thought looked cute but she would call sloppy, and instead of her contacts, she was wearing her tortoiseshell glasses, which she never wore outside the house. Plus, Dallas was in gray sweats and even I knew Dallas didn't wear sweats in public.

I felt a little bad about essentially evicting them with zero notice, but I appreciated the privacy, especially when I had no idea what was about to happen with Chase. We were either about to make up...or break up for good. I wasn't sure where his head was at in all of this. Every fiber of my being hoped I was right and that he'd broken things off so abruptly because of the video, but I still didn't know for sure.

I was scared to let myself get my hopes up, scared to assume or take anything for granted.

As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I heard the deadbolt rattle and the front door creak open. On the other wide of the door, there was a hushed exchange between Chase and Dallas that I couldn't quite make out, aside from one of the guys quietly saying, "fuck."

With trembling hands, I fumbled around in the first aid kit, tearing open a new box of band-aids and rummaging around for the right size. My thoughts circled back to the video and a sick feeling swirled in the pit of my stomach. I remembered how I scared I was when I thought the video might have had to do with me because of Luke. Now that it was real and about Chase, I was devastated, and it wasn't even about me; I could only imagine how he felt. More than anything, I wished I could make it go away.

By the time I came back out, Dallas and Shiv were already gone. Chase was leaning against the wall beside the kitchen, frowning at his phone with his jaw tightly set. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice me open the bathroom door.

I drank in the sight of him from head to toe, like he was water and I was dying of thirst. Tall frame, rumpled hair, perfect profile. A wave of heartache and longing crashed over me, bringing with it the most inexplicable urge to smile and cry all at once. All I wanted was to be in his arms with my face buried up against his neck. To touch him, kiss him, breathe him in.

I drew in a slow inhale to steady myself, taking a few tentative strides in his direction. "Hi."

Chase locked his phone and slid it into his back pocket, glancing up at me. Our eyes met and my heart slammed into my ribcage. I froze on the spot, halfway across the room from him. A handful of steps were all that separated us, but the distance was suddenly like a chasm.

He ran a hand through his coffee-brown hair, expression pained. "I was trying to call you." His eyes were so full of sorrow that it made me ache inside, and his normally golden-toned skin had a pallor I'd never seen before.

I glanced down at my phone in my right hand and unlocked the screen, scrolling through the missed call log. He did. Six times.

"Sorry, my ringer was off. I wasn't avoiding you."

"That video," he said. "It's old. From before—"

"I know."

His throat bobbed, dark eyes lingering on me uncertainly. We stared at one another for a few heartbeats, my pulse escalating with each second that passed. Adrenaline surged through my veins, kickstarting me back into action. Heart bounding in my chest, I took a step, followed by another, and began to close the distance between us.

I didn't know what my plan was. Didn't have a plan when I asked Dallas to drive me over to see him, other than making him to talk to me. But right now, I didn't want to talk.

I just wanted him.

Strong jawline tense, Chase watched me, cautious hope mingled with fear on his face. With a final step, I came to stand before him. Beneath his black shirt, his broad chest moved up and down with each breath. Neither of us reached out to bridge the remaining gap between us. Only then did I notice the blueish-purple circles under his eyes, which matched the ones beneath my own. It had only been a handful of days but neither of us looked like we'd slept in a weeks.

Everything hurt.

We weren't supposed to be apart.

My hands came to rest on his muscular shoulders, and he blinked slowly, letting out a small shudder. He was solid and heavy beneath my fingertips, the warmth of his body radiating through his cotton t-shirt shirt onto my palms. Just touching him again felt like a gift.

"Carter." I drew in a jagged breath. Hot tears welled up in my eyes, nearly overflowing.

Now that he was here in front of me, it was like I could finally breathe again, but it also made the contrast of missing him seem that much worse. I needed him. He was my home, my heart, my person.

"I'm sorry, James." Chase leaned his forehead against mine. "So fucking sorry."

He reached up, gently cupping my face with his hand and stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb. His cologne drifted over to me, both soothing me and feeding my heartache. I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the gasping sobs that threatened to break through.

"I missed you," he murmured.

"I missed you, too."

We stilled and the apartment turned so quiet I could hear the heat kick on, warm air whirring through the floor vent beside us. The urge to cry ebbed and flowed, finally fading away. I reopened my eyes, pulling back to look at him. Despite the fact that I knew I looked like a mess, he looked back at me with such softness and reverence that I could almost forget.

His other hand found my waist with a grip so gentle he just barely grazed the fabric of my grey long-sleeved pajama shirt. Every movement he made was tinged with uncertainty, like he didn't know whether I wanted him to touch me.

My hands looped around his neck, drawing him tighter against me. I tilted my head, and he did the same, leaning in cautiously. His mouth met mine, soft and questioning. With a sigh, my lips parted in response, letting his tongue slip inside. Tension melted away from my body, replaced by the feeling of everything falling back into place.

The kiss said more than words could. Making up for tears, for lost time, for thinking I would never kiss him like this again.

Grip on my waist digging in, his mouth moved against mine, deepening the kiss. Heat flooded my body and the dull ache within me exploded into desperate need. He drew in a deep breath, rough hands sliding beneath my shirt. Somehow, his fingers landing on my bare skin seemed to soothe us both and the frantic, needy edge to our kissing eased. Lips still together, we slowed down, lingering.

Slowly, he pulled back, deep brown eyes tracing my face. "I'm sorry," he said, stroking my hair. "I love you more than anything in the world."

"I love you too. But I need you to tell me what's going on."

Chase nodded, but the apprehension on his face returned. "I will."

Taking him by the hand, I tugged him over to the living room. He shuffled over to the couch at a glacial pace, clearly reluctant to begin the conversation. For someone who was usually willing to spill anything and everything, it was a marked departure from normal.

We both sank down on the cushions, angling our bodies to face one another. He tugged my legs into his lap and pulled me closer to him. I studied him, trying to keep my expression open and non-threatening.

"I don't know where to start." He looked away, shaking his head.

"I don't want to fight." I squeezed his hand, warm and comforting against mine. "I just want to know why you didn't tell me. Did you think I'd be mad at you? Judge you?"

Chase glanced down at our intertwined hands and shrugged. "Yes and no. I mean, yes. But that wasn't the main problem. I was trying to protect you."

My stomach rolled over as a flood of conflicting feelings surged within me. In all of this, he was trying to protect me? Why? And why didn't he just talk to me?

"From what?"

"From me and my dumbass decision," he muttered.

"By breaking my heart?"

His expression crumpled and he dragged a hand down his face. "No. By distancing you from this clusterfuck so you don't get brought down with me."

"You're calling the shots without me again, Carter." The words were harsh, but my tone wasn't.

"Look..." he trailed off. "Did you watch the video?"

"No," I said. I felt ill at the very thought. "God, no. I don't plan to."

"You might feel differently once you know what's in it."

James beside me, holding my hand. I definitely didn't deserve it, but I was so fucking thankful that she was.

For now, at least.

"I doubt it." Bailey's brows knit together, hazel eyes soft. "When did this happen, exactly?"

"Last April." Not even a year ago, though it felt like a lifetime ago. Or another lifetime, really. Like someone else's life. I wished it was.

"That was way before I met you."

"Yeah." I gritted my teeth, trying to find the courage to spill the ugly details, but the words stuck in my throat. Part of me was scared that the moment I did, it would change the way she saw me forever.

Her expression turned thoughtful. "The Sideline had a blind item a while ago about a hockey sex tape, but they said it was someone at Callingwood." Bailey grabbed her phone, navigating to the website. She scanned the screen, mouth twisting into a frown. "It said a girl from Callingwood. Didn't say anything about who the guy was. Or who the other person was, I guess."

"I knew about that, but I wasn't sure if you did." I rubbed her thigh with my free hand, savoring being able to touch her again.

She kept her gaze fixed to her phone, avoiding meeting my eyes. "I didn't want to bring it up because I was paranoid it might have been something Luke did without me knowing."

My hand froze on her leg. "Oh my god, that would be the end of his sorry life." Just the idea made me homicidal. If Luke actually did something like that, I'd be taking Vincent up on that hitjob immediately. Or doing it myself.

"I mean, do you think it was talking about—" Bailey faltered, seemingly unable to say out the last word.

Me.

"Maybe," I said. "One of the girls goes to Callingwood."

Her phone slipped out of her hand, landing on the cushion beside her. "One of them?!" She blinked, shaking her head. "Sorry. I don't mean to sound—to be judging—I'm just confused."

"There were two girls in the video, James."

Not sure if it was better or worse that she was hearing this from me. When Dallas said she knew, I thought she'd seen the video for herself.

Then again, if there was a video of her, I wouldn't have been able to watch it either.

"Okay." Bailey drew in a shaky breath. "Okay...okay. Can you, um, provide a little context?" She quickly added, "I don't want to know everything. Please don't give me your usual blunt honesty. Can you give me a high-level idea of what happened?"

"Well, the video doesn't paint me in the best light. I was fucked up out of my tree. This girl Nikki and I were fooling around and smoking a joint."

Her brow crinkled. "Nikki like, Kevin Richmond's girlfriend?"

"Yeah. I didn't know they were still together."

Bailey nodded, her expression neutral and demeanor way more understanding than I deserved. She was quiet, waiting for me to continue, so I pushed the words out and kept explaining.

"Then Kristen pulled out her phone and started recording without my permission. I got mad and told her to stop. She said she would erase it and she pretended to. I was too out of it to realize she didn't." I felt like a total idiot just admitting this part. How could I not have known?

"So, you were violated." Bailey's voice was skate-edge sharp.

"I mean...I guess."

"You were, Chase. Are you saying that because you're a guy or because there were three people involved? Do you think you deserved that somehow?" Her gold-flecked eyes searched mine. "You still had the right to privacy."

"That's what I thought. I guess Kristen had other ideas."

"That crazy bitch," she said under her breath. "When did you find out?"

"After our last game. Then I met with Dallas's dad to talk through legal issues. Honesty, I was going to bury it and try to find the courage to tell you once it was taken care of." I swallowed, dread surging.

"But..." She prompted me gently.

Telling Bailey this felt like dropping a bomb on her head all over again.

From Vincent's texts while I was waiting for Bailey, it didn't look like Luke had dragged her into things the way he'd threatened to. So far, it looked like he'd sent the clip to people she knew simply to make me look bad—and presumably, to put the final nail in our relationship coffin. But, somehow, that didn't make it any easier to tell her about how her world nearly got destroyed because of me.

"Luke got a hold of a copy. Told me if I didn't end things with you, he was going to send it to your advisors and scholarship committee and tell them you were the other girl on the tape. Because you can't see Kristen in the clip he has. She's just a voice on camera."

Bailey's body turned bolt stiff. "Luke did what?!" Her eyes widened and her hands balled into fists. "Oh my god, I'm going to kill both him and Kristen."

Pretty sure it was the first time I'd heard Bailey threaten bodily harm to someone else, which probably meant she'd spent too much time with me.

"I finally tracked down the second half of the clip today," I said. "It shows me calling Kristen by her name, so everyone would know it wasn't you. I figured that would take the teeth out of his threats, for the most part."

She shifted her weight, scooting closer to me. Reaching up, she stroked my face gently.

"But why didn't you just—just tell me? We could have pretended to be broken up or something? We could have figured it out." Her eyes were so wide and full of sadness that another fresh shot of regret hit me. Maybe she was right. But everything happened so fast, I wasn't thinking clearly, and my only priority was shielding her. The stakes were so high and I didn't want to gamble with her future.

"Honestly..." I trailed off. "Partly, I was afraid Luke would know. I didn't want him to derail everything you'd worked so hard for. Turns out, he did have a tail on me, so he would have probably found out if I lied. Plus, I wasn't sure you'd want to be with me once you found out, anyway. I thought you would be better off without me and this mess I'd created." The last part was the hardest to admit, but I knew I had to put it out there.

"Chase," she said. "You have to know that isn't true. There is no scenario where I am better off without you. Ever."

"Are you sure? Whether or not I agreed to being recorded, the fact remains that there's a video circulating of me getting high while having a threesome. That would be a dealbreaker for a lot of people. I would understand if that's how you feel."

I mean, it would kill me inside. But I wouldn't blame her. One bit.

"Kristen took advantage of you," Bailey said firmly. "You didn't consent to that. Imagine how you'd react to this situation if I were in your shoes."

I huffed. "I wouldn't be here. I'd be sitting in jail. Literally." I'd have been cuffed and placed in a holding cell within hours of finding out and the guy would be six feet under.

Her fingers landed on my jaw, turning my face to hers. She fixed me with a loving gaze, eyes serious.

"I don't understand how you can see that side of it and not extend the same sympathy to yourself. I love you," she said. "This doesn't change that. You're still the same person you were yesterday. Or five minutes ago, for that matter."

The more understanding she was, somehow the worse I felt.

"I hope you know I was only trying to protect you."

Bailey nodded slowly. "I see that now, even if I don't agree with your tactics."

"I couldn't live with myself if you lost out on that scholarship because you were connected to me."