"Are you ok?" I ask Alex for at least the third time today, right before he has to take the stage. I take his face in my hands to thoroughly inspect him, using my thumbs to caress the dark circles under his eyes that are now masked by makeup thanks to Shay.

I can tell this leg of the tour is taking a toll on him with days off hardly existent. I can see exhaustion slowly taking over him—though he'll never admit it, not wanting to disappoint anyone. Especially Chris.

"I'm fine, Joss." He gives me a weak, tired smile. He can't even fake a smile anymore, and his voice is starting to get rough, strained.

I let out a disheartened sigh, wishing he would just admit defeat.

"I'm cancelling your workout and interviews for tomorrow. You need rest," I announce, already reaching for my phone to make some arrangements. I don't care how mad Chris may get, I can't have Alex getting any worse to the point where he can't do shows anymore.

"No," Alex says quickly, grabbing my hands and placing them back on his face. He turns his head and presses a feather light kiss to one of my wrists, and for just a moment I see a bit of life light back up in his eyes. "I'm ok. I promise."

"Alex," I warn wearily. "Don't lie to me. It's written all over your face that you're exhausted."

He lets out a sigh, closing his eyes and dropping his head. For a moment, just a moment, I really think he's going to surrender.

"I'll let you cancel the workout, but not the interviews or anything else. I can't let other people down."

"You will not be letting anyone down. Alex—" I'm cut off by the lights in the arena dimming, causing high pitch screams to flood throughout the area.

He pulls me in for a quick, tight hug and kisses the side of my head before running up the steps to the stage.

With a huff, I walk out to the soundboard to watch the show, only managing to keep my cool for thirty minutes. After the fifth time Alex's voice breaks, I can't stand it any longer. He's just barely carrying a tune, and notes I know he can hit in his sleep look like a struggle for him.

Gritting my teeth, I march backstage down numerous halls to find Chris, eventually finding him in an empty room shuffling through some papers.

"Chris," I say, walking into the room. He looks up at me, shock evident on his face. "He needs to slow down. He's killing himself out there."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Alex. Do you not hear him out there? Have you not seen him? He's exhausted, and it looks like he's about to collapse any second. I'm canceling his interviews for the rest of the week."

"Excuse me?" Chris says, eyes narrowed. "Alex is fine. Until I hear it from his mouth that he's not ok, you are not to change anything."

"But that's the thing! Alex won't say anything because he doesn't want to let anyone down. He—"

"Like I said," he cuts me off, "until I hear from Alex, there's no need to do anything." He's not listening to anything I'm saying and goes back to the papers in his hands.

Fuming, I bite my tongue, knowing I'm not going to get anywhere with him. A wall would listen to me better than him. Turning on my heel, fists clinched, I go back out to the arena and force myself to watch Alex suffer, inwardly cringing every time he struggles.

"Fuck!" I hear Chris yell from the front of the bus, jolting me awake.

I quickly scramble out of my bunk and cautiously peek my head into the front lounge. Chris is pacing while viciously tugging at his light brown hair, and Alex is seated at the small table, head in his hands.

"What's going on?" I dare to ask, slowly stepping out of the bunk area and into the front lounge.

Both of their eyes snap up to look at me, their gazes utterly different from each other. Chris's eyes are hard and threatening while Alex's are glazed over and desperately trying to stay open. Alex looks like complete hell, hair disheveled, skin pale, and eyes full of misery.

"His voice is shot!" Chris roars, slapping his hands down onto his thighs. "I don't know what we're going to do. It's a sold out show tonight and—" He's cut off by his phone ringing. "What?" he barks, picking up the call and going off on someone, but I drown him out.

"Hey," I say softly, taking a seat across from Alex at the table and placing one of my hands on top of his. I search his eyes only to come up short, no emotion behind them whatsoever. "What's wrong?"

"I'm... tired," he says. His voice so strained and airy I can hardly understand him.

He tiredly closes his eyes and leans down to rest on top of the table, his head on top of our hands.

I let out a sigh, knowing I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. As much as I want to scream at the both of them right now and say I told you so, I bite my tongue, knowing it won't solve anything, now.

"I know, bud." I try to comfort him, soothingly running the fingers of my free hand through his unruly hair, feeling bad for him.

"Joslyn," Chris says, hanging up his phone and angrily pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need you to get him in to see Dr. Lance ASAP," he says, referring to Alex's vocal doctor back in New York. "You're going to have to take him while I stay here and try to fix this mess," he growls, going to the back lounge to make more phone calls and arrangements.

"Alex," I say, hooking my finger under his chin to make him look up at me, and eventually he opens his dull blue eyes. "We're going home. I still need to arrange flights and everything, but in the mean time, I need you to get some rest, ok?"

He nods, lazily getting up and going to his bunk while I get to work making arrangements and packing.

Walking down the hall, I pull my keys out of my bag, finding the spare key to Alex's apartment next to the license plate keychain he got me for my birthday. Even though I insisted on giving him back his key after I decorated his apartment, he made me keep it in in case of an emergency.

Opening the front door, I carry our luggage in and set it off to the side as Alex kicks off his shoes by the door and moseys to his room. I hear the mattress creak under his weight, and I sigh in relief that he's finally going to get some decent rest. He slept the whole plane ride but was uncomfortably hunched over so he could rest his head in my lap.

Walking over to the kitchen, I open the fridge to get him a bottled water, but it's completely bare due to him being out on tour. Instead, I walk over to grab a glass out of the cabinet because I don't want him getting dehydrated.

"Joss," I barley hear Alex's broken voice down the hall and over the sound of the tap running. I mentally scold him for calling out.

"I'll be right there, baby," I say, the pet name accidentally rolling off my tongue.

After filling up his glass, I make sure to grab my phone and laptop because knowing Alex he'll want me to stay with him and play with his hair to help him sleep. When I walk into his bedroom, he's laying across his bed horizontally, feet dangling off the edge. As soon as he hears me walk in he opens his tired eyes and pats the space near his head.

I set my things on his night stand and he raises his head for me to slip into his bed. Climbing in, I rest my back against the headboard and he settles himself on my lap. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I can't help but get lost in my own thoughts, worrying about what's going to happen next.

Alex is scheduled to see Dr. Lance tomorrow, and who knows what he'll say. I just pray that Alex is ok and nothing is permanently damaged. I could care less about him having to cancel more shows at this point, he could cancel the rest of the tour for all I care. I just want him to be ok.

Lost in my own head and thinking of plans all the way to Z, I feel Alex shift in my lap, rolling over on his back to look up at me. His eyes are full of concern and questioning, reading my mind. He reaches up and cups my cheek in his hand and I try my best to give him a convincing smile.

"It's going to be ok," I say, not sure if I'm trying to comfort him or myself more. "We'll go to the doctor tomorrow and get everything figured out." I plunge my fingers back in his hair and rest my head back against the headboard, thinking of all the possible scenarios that can go down tomorrow.

Consumed in my own thoughts, I don't realize that Alex is snaking his hand up to cup it around the back of my head, pulling me down towards him as he leans up on his elbow. It's sort of an awkward angle, but nonetheless, my heart leaps out of my chest when he presses his lips to mine.

My body feels hot all over and every inch of my skin is tingling. His lips feel so perfect against mine, and the kiss is so raw and full of passion that it makes my head spin. It's surreal that months of built up feelings and tension are finally being poured out and expressed.

But this shouldn't be happening.

I quickly pull away, and Alex falls back onto the mattress near my legs. "I-I have to go," I whisper, scrambling off his bed and heading for the front door.

"Joslyn," his hoarse voice calls after me, but I keep going. Just as I'm about to reach the front door, he grabs me by my wrist and spins me around to face him. His face is full of concern and hurt, and his mouth is open like he's about to say something, but nothing comes out.

"It's ok, Alex," I say, wanting to save him from a speech to explain himself. "I get it. You're tired and I'm just... here."

"What? No, I—"

"Let's just forget about it."

"Forget about it?" he asks incredulously. "Joslyn, I can't. I won't. I don't want to."

"Well, you have to because you and I," I gesture my hand between us, "we can't happen." I say, trying to keep my voice even.

"Why not?" he asks, starting to get angry.

"Because I work for you!"

"So!"

"So? That can get really messy, really fast. What happens if we break up?"

"We wont, but I think we're both mature enough to still be able to work together if we do."

"But what if we're not?"

"Then... then I'm sure I can find someone else you could work for."

I know he's only trying to think logically, but the way he's able to think of how to get rid of me so easily stings.

"Still, I've been down this road before, Alex. It doesn't last. Once the tour is over, it won't work. We'll both end up going our separate ways."

"Who says I'm going anywhere?"

"Alex." I huff, wishing he would just drop this conversation.

"No, Joslyn. I care about you. Hell, I'm in love with you and I know you feel the same way."

He's not wrong.

"Still, Alex, it'll never work. I'm not like you. You can seriously have any girl you want, and you need someone that understands you and can keep up with your lifestyle."

"I don't want anyone else!" he yells, his voice cracking so bad it makes me flinch.

"Please stop talking," I beg, wishing he would stop straining his voice even more.

"No! Joslyn, don't you understand? I want you! I need you! You're the only one that understands me. You're the one that cares about me and treats me like a human being. Do you know the last time someone genuinely asked me how I'm doing? Or asked me what my favorite color is outside of a fan at a Q&A? I can't even tell you the last time I had someone to call my best friend."

I stand here completely stunned, not knowing what to say.

"Please," he begs, stepping forward and cupping my face in his hands, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Please just be with me."

"Alex," I say with uncertainty. As much as I want to be with him, I know the consequences. And there are a lot of them.

"Please," he breathes out, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to mine.

I let out a shaky breath, making up my mind. "Ok," I whisper and his eyes fly open, a boyish grin spreading across his face. "Ok. But, can we just keep this a secret for now? Just between you and me?"

He looks conflicted, and he opens his mouth to protest but quickly closes it when he looks into my eyes. "Ok." He nods, a smile slowly creeping back up on his face. "Whatever you want."

"Thank you."

"I love you," he says, leaning in and kissing my lips.

"I love you, too," I admit when we pull away, breathless. "Now will you please shut up," I beg, not wanting him to damage his voice anymore.

He smirks, waggling his eyebrows. "Only if you make me," he says before hotly landing his mouth on mine.