"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward" - Søren Kierkegaard

"Beta Jonathan?"

"Yes, Alpha?"

"I have to go someplace with Alpha Ethan for a while, keep an eye on the pack."

"Yes, Alpha."

"And if anyone asks..."

"Don't worry, no one will know."

This was the best quality of Jonathan as a Beta - he never asked questions or got suspicious. And most importantly, he always had your back.

"Thank you." I concluded the mind-link conversation and fell in line with Ethan's pace. We both didn't speak as we continued to walk. The quietness caressed my skin like a gentle, summer breeze. Silence hung in the air, just like a glass in mid air before it falls and shatters on the ground. This silence was like a gaping hole, urging to be filled with sounds, or words - any form of verbal expression. Having enough of it, I decided to break the peace and quiet that surrounded us.

"So...,"

I turned my face towards him and found him already looking at me. Realising I caught him mid-stare, he immediately shifted his head forward, a faint blush spreading on his face.

"So...," he started, "where would you like for me to begin?"

"Right from the beginning," his gaze fell on my lips, "How and why are we at this stage - what led to it? Tell me everything."

He nodded and turned to face the front once again.

"You must already be familiar with how long it has been since an Alpha-blooded female was born and how there was only one of them who had an Alpha as a mate, but what was never made public knowledge was the fact that she was murdered."

My eyebrows raised in shock and my brain stuttered for a minute. Murdered? I had heard stories of Eira, the last female Alpha, in my childhood and in the school through history books but always thought the cause of her demise was natural.

"Only a few know the reason behind it - her mate was an Alpha, just like us." His stormy grey eyes connected with mine, "It was a direct threat for Lycans and their rule on the werewolves which is why they decided to take the matter in their own hand - resulting in the murder of the Alpha female and her mate."

"Why didn't their packs take revenge?"

"How could they? No one had any proof of the culprits, even though they knew who was to be blamed. The history books were also altered by the Lycans so no one could ever find it out. It was then collectively decided by our forefathers to keep Lycans as far from our land as possible. They couldn't take revenge, not when there was no proof, so this was the second best option - to keep their future pack safe. From then onwards, it was ingrained in every mind that Lycans were dead, just in case there ever does come a day when another female Alpha is born, both communities would remain uninformed. All they had to do was obey the Lycan laws so there was no interruption from their part."

It took me a while to process the information that was being handed out to me.

"Your birth surprised a lot of people, according to my father," he continued, "Not only because it happened after two hundred years but because no one knew who your mate was and if it will be a threat to the rule of Lycans. Your father was fiercely protective of you, something you must've noticed. You never attended pack meetings or parties. You never left your pack, neither were the sons of Alphas allowed to enter your pack. Your dad was extremely strict about it. This was all kept under wraps; only the Alphas knew it. They couldn't risk your identity, they couldn't risk the Lycans finding out that a female Alpha was born who might overthrow their rule."

My mind travelled back to the multiple times father didn't let me attend pack meetings or join them in regular trips to other packs; how father only took Zack to the vast number of occasions that were held in other packs. He never asked me to join, and neither was my introverted self interested. There was also that one time when he pretended to be sick so I could stay home.

Now it all made sense - why he was reluctant, hesitant and overprotective.

"But your father couldn't hide you forever. There were talks about you all over the packs, everyone wanted to see how you looked like, and wanted to get a chance to know you better."

His grey eyes met mine, "I was one of them. I don't know if it was my wolf or just natural curiosity, but I knew I had to see you no matter what. There was a void inside of me, aching to be filled. I tried my best to convince father to let me join him whenever he visited your pack, or invite your family over to our pack but he always denied. It only further fuelled my thirst. I needed to think of a way to meet you. I had to see you." He stopped walking and extended his hand in front of him, "which brings us to our destination..."

I followed where his arms were pointing and looked up to see our high school.

"I knew a few people who told me that Zack was doing his studies from here. I knew your father would soon send you here too, considering this high school was in your territory, and how your brother would be there to always keep an eye on you."

My heart tugged at his words. "We'll always be there to protect you, Vivian." Oh Zack, where did you go?

My eyes took in the high school. It still looked the same as I left it. My mind took me back to the time when I first stepped in the school, the monotone buzz of several hundred voices hummed like an orchestra as the students entered, hustling and rushing down the halls. Friends welcomed each other with a hug or a friendly punch. The seniors leaned against their lockers, all proud and tall whereas the newcomers stayed in the corners, nervousness clear on their faces.

"I convinced my parents to switch my school and enrol me here even though we already had a good school in our territory. They didn't understand why I wanted this sudden change but I managed to convince them. Since this school was under your father's control, he had to approve my application. Fortunately, your father owed mine a favor so he accepted my application and enrolled me. I guess he never thought about the fact that one day you'll also be studying there.

"When school started, I used to wait everyday after school to see if you'll ever come to pick up your brother, or walk by the school itself, but you never did." A sad smile touched his features, it felt as if he was reliving that particular moment. I silently observed his face as he took a pause to gather his thoughts.

"Goddess, isn't he a sight to behold," my wolf swooned as I suppressed the need to roll my eyes.

Well, she wasn't wrong. He was handsome. Definitely. No doubt about that. None.

Unaware of the staring, Ethan took a deep breath and went on with his conversation, "I was a bit temperamental back then."

"A bit?" I gave him a look.

"Okay, a lot." He replied, chuckling lightly. The sound of his laughter brought some strange form of comfort while at the same time, made me tingly all over.

"I got involved in many fights and arguments. The majority of the students were from your pack and I was an Alpha from another pack, so just like oil and water, we didn't mix well together; it was typical male ego problems and petty fights like 'who-has-a-stronger-pack'," he scratched his neck lightly, "That day was no different. I had a fight with a class mate who undermined my wolf's power, so during lunchtime, I punched him and unintentionally knocked him out."

"You knocked him out?" My eyes widened.

He shrugged his shoulders as a boyish grin took over his face, "In my defense, I didn't even hit him that hard, it was just a regular throw. Unfortunately, one teacher caught me and mind-linked your father about how I was 'stirring up problems'. He then called me in his office to share a few words."

He shook his head gently, "I thought I was done for, that he would kick me out of the school. I waited two years, two long years to just see your face and thinking that it was going to be all for naught made me mad. So mad. All because I couldn't control my temper. I lost all hope," he walked towards me, but still remained on his side of the border. "Tell you what, I was this close to punching the teacher," he held his index finger and thumb together in close proximity.

I gave a small laugh, "Now that would've definitely gotten you expelled."

He smiled back at me.

A brief moment passed. His eyes flickered towards the ground and then glanced up to meet mine. "Can I cross over?" He asked.

I looked around the vicinity. Ethan didn't know the reason why I didn't allow him inside my pack, neither did he ask me the reason, for which I was glad. I was definitely not ready to have that conversation.

There was no one around the school. It was unanimously decided to close down all schools until the culprits of the attack were found. The only person who'd be near the perimeters would be the guards.

Realising we were alone, I nodded, which took him by complete surprise. The expressions on his face changed from hopeful to disbelief to joy.

"Finally," he said under his breath and eagerly walked forward to cross the border.

He then guided me towards the basketball court, staying a considerable distance away from.

"I still remember being so angry after the fight. I walked out from that door," he pointed to the door which attached the courtyard with the school, then moved it to point at the back court, "and kicked a basketball straight to that pole."

My eyes zoned towards the pole he was pointing towards which, surprisingly, still had a huge dent in the middle.

"That is when I first laid my eyes on you."

His eyes met mine and held for a moment that felt like forever.

"You were there behind the hoop, walking with your brother, laughing at something he said. I remember my body getting completely paralysed, all the anger inside of me washed away, and was replaced by this overwhelming sense of peace.

"You both walked neared me. Zack sent a greeting my way but I didn't give a sh!t because you were there and you... you smiled at me. You smiled and it felt as if somebody pulled the rug from under me."

He walked closer to me, and closer and closer still. I remained completely motionless, my brain not sending signals to my legs to move backwards. We were inches away from each other now. Then as if somebody dumped icy water on him, he stepped back and created a safe distance between us again.

"I had no idea why I was feeling that way. I blamed those feelings on you, thinking it was some sort of charm or attraction that came along with being a rare Alpha female. It was strange. You left me speechless, and that has never happened in my life. Ever." He took a sharp breath, "At that point, the thought didn't even cross my mind that you could potentially be my mate. The stories which we were told in our childhood, of how the mate bond felt when it was recognised was vastly different from what I felt. Also, there was no way of knowing if we were mates because both of us hadn't crossed the age of twenty. However, when we saw you, it felt as if all our problems vanished away into thin air and there was only you... in this terribly false and dark world, a beckoning light, lifting me out towards the light.

There it was, that static in the air. That crackling in the air that always happened whenever we got within a foot of each other.

Goddess, this is definitely not the time.

I guess Ethan felt the same way because he picked up the conversation from where he left.

"Amidst all that, I unintentionally lowered my walls, allowing my emotions to reach my father. He mind-linked me and asked what was happening and being the stupid teenager I was, I told him everything that happened. He would've gotten out of me anyways, you know, Alpha command and all." He shrugged, "Father immediately got suspicious and called me back home. When I told him Alpha Alejandro had called me, he thought he found out too, so fearing for my safety, he commanded me to come back. As soon as I returned to my house, he decided to call a meeting. The three Alphas were summoned, along with Jeremy, the Rogue leader. That is when I was informed of the Eira and her murder.

"My wolf suddenly got anxious when he heard you were threatened and how your life was potentially in danger. All these hints were pointing towards us being mates but the only way to be sure was to wait till you turned twenty which was quite far considering I was eighteen and you were still fourteen.

"From that day onwards, I was forced to keep you at a distance as we couldn't let anybody be suspicious about the fact that we might turn out to be mates in the near future. We didn't know if anyone was working secretly as an undercover for the Lycans.

"Each day got even worse, my wolf was infuriated with me. It hurt us to put you through all that we did, but he especially hated me for keeping you out of the loop. He locked me out for a week and only came back because he missed seeing your face."

The corners of my lips tugged up at the mention of his wolf's sweet gesture.

"Deep down, I always knew you were my mate. My wolf's possessiveness was proof enough. It was only a matter of time for you to realise that."

We were now walking outside the perimeter of the school, my mind reeling back to the old times when Zack and I used to walk back home together. How we occasionally raced each other and how he purposely let me win every other day so our wins would always be tied.

A painful groan intruded my thoughts.

I looked to the side and saw Ethan hunched over, a hand over his chest. He was breathing heavily.

I rushed over to him, "Are you okay?"

He gave a quick nod, "Don't worry. I-It is the silver. I'll be f-fine in a minute." He bit out every word between clenched teeth, as if every little sound he made hurt him.

Watching him in that state made me feel way guiltier than before. He was going through this for me.

Oh, Goddess. Couldn't you have made me a normal wolf?

I stood motionless for a minute, unable to figure out how to comfort him. I sucked at comforting people.

Thankfully, the pain was shortlived and we resumed our conversation once he got better. I didn't know if I could've seen him that way for any longer. It was torturous.

"Every Monday morning, you used to sit in that corner during your English class." We were now peering inside a small classroom from the window, "And every morning I used to bunk my class just so I could see you. It might sound creepy but watching you helped calm my wolf down. And I was getting addicted to that feeling. I had never felt anything like that before. Moreover, it was the only time I could be near you without doing something which would make you hate me even more." He had a sad look on his face now, the hurt reflected in his eyes.

"You must've heard how Zack had a fight with me when you left for the human territory."

I nodded.

"That wasn't the first time we had a fight. He once caught me looking at you from here so he punched me straight in the face and warned me to stay away. He broke my nose that day." He gently grabbed his nose with his fingers. "I didn't hit him back. I deserved that punch and much much more... I always held him in a high regard - he was fiercly loyal to you, and loved those who meant everything to him with all his might. And you were number one in all of his lists. No one was more important to him than his little sister."

My brain flooded with pictures of Zack, his twinkling eyes and roguish grin. My chest ached, but I was thankful for Ethan. His words brought me happiness, and reminded me of how much Zack and I meant to each other.

I didn't realize I was crying until he leaned forward and swiped his thumb over my wet cheeks.

"So it continued, I followed the Alphas order, and kept you at a safe distance throughout our time in school, doing everything to make you hate me so you stayed away and Goddess did I hate myself for it." He took a deep breath, "After I graduated, the Alphas agreed to not let me in the North pack until you came of age. But I found a way, anyways. I had too. You were my only source of peace.

I didn't get time to ask him about his 'way' as he moved on to the next subject.

"Then came the day of the crowning, where you had to make a public appearance in my pack. We were publically going to see each other after four years. To be honest, I was quite surprised how your father allowed you to come since all the sons of the Alphas were going to be there but I guess even he was curious to see if we were mates or not."

Ethan led us to a bench underneath a huge tree where we sat and took in our surroundings. It was inside a circular lawn nearby the school with a path around it and a central bed of shrubs. Outside of the lawn area were four tulip bush beds to fill up the square area. Father used to call mother by the nickname 'Tulip' which was also coincidentally her favourite flowers. Therefore, father made it his mission to plant them wherever he could, in every colour available. He used to tell Zach and I that "flowers bring colour to your world, just like your mother brought to mine."

I smiled at the memory.

Ethan shuffled from beside me, breaking my train of thought, "I recall myself standing on the podium, my eyes sweeping across the room, searching for you, and then came this overpowering, feminine smell. I followed the direction and it led me to you," Grey eyes connected with mine, "That's when my wolf shouted inside my mind - mate."