"The way he looked at you. I got it then. He loved you, and it was killing him. He won't get over you, Clary, he can't." - Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

((just a side note: if a complete dialogue is in italics then that's Vivian's wolf speaking))

The night before the funeral I found my bed to be cold and lonely which is why I decided to relocate myself and sleep in Zack's room. My nostrils engulfed the delicate and fading hint of sandalwood in his room, and with it my brain flooded with pictures of Zack. His defined and sharp face just as handsome as the last time I saw him, his mischievious eyes twinkling and his dimple staring at me as he smiled. I missed the feeling of his muscular arm wrapped around me as much as I missed his scent. Now all that was left was a fleeting memory.

My heart ached as I realised that I would never be able to touch or hear him again. And that his over protective wolf would never be able to put his scent on me whenever an unmated male batted an eye towards my wolf or my direction.

No one could ever replace him and no one would ever will.

The Goddess works in mysterious ways. Here I am, burying my brother before he even became an Alpha. A thought so unbelievable that it never crossed my mind. It is crazy how you never know when it is the last time you meet someone. You see them and suddenly they're gone, taking a piece of you with them.

Zack's funeral service was elaborate and beautiful, exactly what my brother deserved. Every pack member loved Zack, and therefore, had a memory to share.

For my grieving heart, the pain seemed to go on forever. The petals of the flowers around the grave were an array of attractive colours; teal, emerald, ruby, amethyst, and orange, but to me they were only shades of grey.

There was not a dry eye in the viccinity. Everyone was mourning the loss of their future, something we all looked forward too.

Jonathan said a few words, reminding the pack of Zack's bravery and strength. How he was always there for anyone who needed help. How he always put his pack before everything else.

Kal, Zack's best friend, also talked about their adventures and narrated funny incidents from his life, most of which were silly practical jokes played by Zack such as changing the orea cream with toothpaste, putting blue dye in the shampoo bottle or putting a plastic wrap over the toilet seat. One particular instance that brought a smile upon everyone's face, because they vividly remembered it, was when Zack put itching powder in Kal's pants on the day of their maths final exam as revenge for asking his school crush out on prom. Throughout the exam, Kal couldn't stop itching and ultimately failed the subject.

They both were inseparable. And the day of the result was a testament to their friendship. Even though Kal failed and had to repeat maths for another year when all his classmates graduated, no one knew that Zack had also intentionally failed his exam. I remember Zack telling Kal on the day of results that he didn't want his best friend to "suffer Mr. Groff's wrath alone".

That was the type of guy he was. If he liked you, then he'd always put you before himself. His selflessness was precisely the reason why he would've been a perfect Alpha.

Mom had woken up too. She didn't say anything upon seeing me, except her arms were opened wide, and my name escaped her thin lips. I ran towards her and let my walls crumble in the safety of her embrace. We stayed like that for a while - rocking back and forth, trying to soothe each other's pain and grief. Grief which was drowning us. She held my shaky hand for the whole service.

She wasn't able to speak during the funeral since she couldn't stop crying. The only time she spoke was when they were about to close the casket. She hurriedly walked towards it and judging by her expressions, everyone thought that it would be difficult to distance her from her son. But all she did was run her fingers through Zack's hair and place a gentle kiss on his forehead, whispering four words softly, "Rest well, my darling."

I remained silent too, my jaw clenched and eyes blank, watching them lower my brother down in the ground. Nobody noticed how I was barely trying to keep myself together. Every pack member took turns with the spade, covering his grave inch by inch with dirt. I stared blankly at it, hoping that a miracle would happen and he would rise again and come back to the world, come back to us and laugh at me for thinking that he would leave so soon. But nothing happened.

After he was buried, the entire pack paid their respects by collectively shifting into their wolves - a perfect synchrony of brown, black and white, blonde, grey and deep red. It was ironic how losing one person brought all of us together.

Loud, angry howls were heard when each one of us called out to the Moon Goddess for selfishly taking away our pack member, our Alpha and then another painful howl - this time asking her to take care of him, to make sure he was alright.

That night I was unable to sleep. I tossed and turned, hoping sleep would welcome me in her arms but whenever I closed my eyes, Zack's face would wake me up. A light had been extinguished forever in my heart. Frustrated, I got up and sat on the bed. My hands viciously tugged at my black hair and an annoyed scream escaped my lips.

"Get yourself together, Vivian... Zack wouldn't want you to be like this."

I closed my eyes and counted till ten, and was about to lay down on the bed when I felt something move outside my window.

With hesitant steps, I walked towards the window but saw that there was nothing outside. I stayed there for a while, and even hid behind the curtain to see if anybody would come back but no luck.

"Maybe I was just imagining it...," I whispered to no one.

It is a windy night; must've been the trees moving or leaves brushing against the window, I thought to myself.

"Let's try to sleep again," my wolf said.

Letting out a deep sigh, I again placed myself on the bed, hoping some miracle will take place and I would be able to sleep.

I guess Moon Goddess heard me because suddenly a familiar feeling of warmth and comfort took over me as I gave myself over to unconsciousness.

And just when I almost surrendered myself to sleep, a pair of lips brushed my forehead, leaving tingles in its wake.

----

2 days later

"All done..." I whispered to the reflection in the mirror.

My black hair held back in a tight bun, my hazel eyes lacking the light it once held. There was no sign of makeup present on my face, which brought my attention to the one prominent and stubborn pimple on my cheek which had invaded my skin two days ago and refused to leave. A plain halter neck dress covered me from mid-thigh and above. As per tradition, it was white in colour.

White to symbolise new beginnings - or of wiping the slate clean, so to speak. A blank canvas waiting to be painted upon. White to represent equality, to imply fairness, purity and independence. A new chapter in history waiting to be written.

My eyes fell on the golden crown firmly placed on top of my head. A feeling of deja-vu took over me, reminding me of the last time I wore the crown and was all dressed up in front of the same mirror.

The cursed day which brought me here.

Refusing to let it ruin my mood, I closed my eyes to calm my pounding heart but sensing a familiar presence by the door, I slowly turned around.

Jonathan was leaning against the door, dressed in black slacks and a black sweater. The corners of his mouth lifted as his gaze took me in.

He stepped right in front of me and placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Your beauty bring the stars to shame," he grabbed my hands and squeezed them, his piercing blue eyes slowly getting darker, a signal that his wolf has awakened. "I know today is hard for you, but just because Alejandro is resting doesn't mean I'll let his little princess feel like she is all alone today," his thumb brushed acrossed my cheek, returning back with a teardrop. "I am so proud of the woman you've become, Vivian, and I am sure your parents and Zack would feel the same way."

Inside, the ache for Zack and my father gnawed at me but his words brought a much needed smile on my face, "Thank you," I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my head on his chest, letting his steady heartbeat soothe away all my worries and concerns.

----

When I arrived outside, I noticed that majority of the guests had already arrived, and had indulged themselves in inconsequent conversations. A few were lingering by the buffet tables. I recognized Alpha Lennon, Tyler and Josh standing together in what seemed like a heated discussion.

I averted my gaze to the other side and saw the sorrowful and miserable expressions of my pack members. This was the pack of light, the pack of positivity. A place where music escaped from every window and door, where tales of laughter and love could be found anywhere, a place which promised good times to each of its seeker.

But now, all was lost. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to fill with his voice. I could hear him teasing me like he's just a feet away; my mind filling with witty retorts I will never hear him say. I wanted to call him out softly, to see if he would step out of my mind.

I wished my father was here to occupy the loneliness that was eating me up.

"It is time, Vivian."

A firm voice brought me back. Jonathan had his hand on my back and was ushering me to the middle of the ground where an elevated stage was present.

My pack had done a commendable job at decorating the area. The whole area was a stark contrast to the feelings of the pack - illuminating and bright. My eyes focused on the twinkling lights that were strung on the trees.

With a blank look on my face, I stepped on the stage and could feel eyes carefully following my every step. The feeling of their eyes unnerved me and I almost fell had Jonathan not grabbed me at the right moment, saving me from embarrassment.

"A warm welcome to all present here. Let's not waste anymore time and begin with the ceremony."

Jonathan was brief with his words, something I adviced him on before coming outside. I wanted to be done with this as soon as possible.

Absent and distracted, I swept my gaze across the crowd which had now gathered near the stage. My eyes connected with Josh who gave me a once-over, made the 'ok' gesture and sent a wink my way. I nodded and passed him a thankful smile in return.

With every passing second, my heartbeat began to increase.

Zack was supposed to be here. It is all your fault. You did this.

"Stop it. You can't let these thoughts bring us down. You have to be strong. We have a pack to look after," my wolf answered me.

An overwhelming feeling suddenly took over me, replacing some of the fear which had left me dejected. I eased into it when I realised it was my wolf. Amidst the moment of weakness, I found tidal waves of strength pouring out from my other half, my wolf; giving me the courage to stand tall and proud.

"Vivian, repeat after me..." Jonathan's voice brought me back to reality.

It is time, I hesitantly reminded myself, trying my best to gather courage.

"We can do this."

Together?

"Together."

"'I Vivian, hereby declare an oath, that I will be an example of leadership, courtesy and respect for everyone I meet.'"

"I Vivian, hereby declare an oath," I started, my voice a bit shaky.

"Get your shit together, Vivian."

I raised my head and stood up straighter, "that I will be an example of leadership, courtesy and respect for everyone I meet."

"'That I will protect and put my pack first. That in times of fear, I will chose faith and in times of adversity, I will chose strength."

This time, my voice was loud and clear as I repeated the oath.

"'Everyday I will strive to be the Alpha who will lead the my pack towards success."

As those words escaped my lips, an overwhelming sensation filled my body. I felt an abundance of emotions running through me. The rest of the oath smoothly left my lips and ended with the following words.

"'I, Vivian, the title and responsibilities of the Alpha of North Pack.'"

Now that the oath was done, the last step was to seal it with blood.

A blood oath which is unbreakable. Once you're bound by blood, there is no turning back.

Jonathan brought a golden bowl which contained drops of each pack members blood. Shaking their hands individually was not only a long process but exchanging blood through that procedure was unsafe and unhygenic. Therefore, the blood was collected without any physical contact.

He offered me a knife to draw blood but I refused.

It was time to let my wolf be a part of this.

The stage is all yours.

I felt my skin stretching and vision getting sharper. My left hand extended into a claw, which then I used to slice my right palm open. As soon as the first drop of blood made contact with the content of the golden bowl, a loud, powerful growl escaped my mouth. Soon, all my pack members bowed their heads and tilted their necks to the side. Head bowing; a sign of acceptance and tilting of neck; a sign of submission.

I sensed my mind opening up, altering and switching the link of connection with all the pack members. As an Alpha, I was now connected at a deeper level with each of them, and they were unable to block me. I felt a multitude of emotions running through me- their emotions.

"Congratulations, Alpha Vivian." Beta Jonathan spoke from the side, his head bowed, and his neck showing.

The full moon was hanging proudly on the celestial sky; joining in the celebration of her creation's elevation, leaving everyone beguiled by its beauty.

My wolf and I were both witnessing the occasion together. I was pretty sure that my one eye was black and the other brown.

Half wolf and half human.

Together, our gaze went over our pack members, our chest swollen with pride.

At one corner we saw Josh vigourously clapping his hands and yelling my name in celebration. On his side was Tyler, his face beaming with pride and joy.

We felt powerful, unmatchable, undefeatable.

Invincible.

A Alpha.

The first in two hundred years.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my eyes connected with a familiar pair of grey eyes standing in the far left of the crowd.

A smirk graced his beautiful features as he raised his champagne glass towards me.

Ethan.

----

After the ceremony, the guests came over to me to offer their condolences and congratulations.

The crowning uplifted the sombre mood of the pack members. Jonathan thought it wasn't right for everyone to sulk when a new Alpha had been crowned, so now light music surrounded us as people danced in the middle of the ground.

"All hail, Alpha Vivian!" Josh rushed towards me and picked me in his arms.

"Put her down, Josh," Tyler scolded him as Josh gently placed me on the ground.

Passing a thankful smile towards Tyler, I patted Josh's arm, "As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, I don't feel like celebrating, Josh. It doesn't feel right."

"How about a drink, then?" Josh prompted, grabbing a drink from the nearest table and thrusting the stem in my hand while simultaneouly chugging one himself, "You Northerners do know how to make a mean drink. I've decided that the first thing I'll do when I become an Alpha is get this receipe of yours, even if I have to break the treaty or go on war."

My eyes fell on the cherry flavoured drink, staring as my mind tried to make a decision.

"One drink won't hurt, Vivian."

I raised the glass to my lips and practically inhaled the drink, not realising how thirsty I was. The liquid, satiny drink easily slid down my throat, leaving a cooling sensation behind.

"Who's going on war?" Alpha Lennon and Alpha Carlos came over and interuppted us. After talking to them for a while, I politely excused myself and went over to spend some time with my pack members.

Ashlee, Ron, Brock and Jordon - who were also my Academy classmates were standing in a circle next to the bonfire, making smores for little pups.

"Alpha," they all greeted simultanteously.

"Call me Vivian, please."

They all nodded in response. Now that I am an Alpha, they had to approach me with respect and caution which brought a frown upon my face. I wanted my pack members to think of me as the old Vivian, someone they could easily talk too and not as a scary tyrant.

"Would you like a smore, Vivian?" Ashlee asked, noticing the tension in the air.

"Sure."

Time flew as I indulged in idle conversation with them which helped end the tension that had surfaced. It felt as if I never left the pack, as if everything was alright. The boys made a few jokes here and there to tease the girls. For the first time in what felt like forever, I laughed.

But even then, I couldn't ignore the feeling of someone's heated gaze following me everywhere I went.

I turned my head to the side and caught his eyes for the seventh time tonight. He kept on staring, unashamed, his gaze selfishly raking me in. Throughout the night, he was searching for an opportunity to meet me but I kept on switching places and finding a plethora of ways to avoid him. His eerily calm and ominous demeanour was alarming and disconcerting.

My eyes lingered on his facial features. He still looked the same as before, but his black hair was a bit longer now, curling at the ends. His grey eyes now supported eyebags, and a light stubble graced his face. He looked tired.

My eyes then travelled down. He was wearing a oversized black hoodie, with loose black slacks and black sneakers.

My eyebrows creased in confusion as I noticed something bulky and weird on his hands.

I turned around and found Ashlee looking at me with her eyebrows raised, beckoning me to ask my question.

"Do you know what's that... um.."

I had no idea how to phrase my question but thankfully, she understood what I was going to say.

"Should I be honest?"

I raised my eyes, surprised at the question.

"Alpha Ethan is wearing cuffs and anklets made of adulterated silver."

A gasp escaped my lips, "What?!"