dedicated to for the freaking gorgeous cover she made me that you can see above :)

I watched Lottie taking blankets and pillows from a cupboard in the hall near her room. She was dressed in a big shirt and a pair of trackie trousers like a normal person about to sleep. I, on the other hand, still wore my normal clothes in order to not make her uncomfortable. Even though I was pretty sure that she liked me wearing less clothes...

But that was besides the point.

"Where should I sleep?" I asked her. I reached out to take most of the pile from her arms, because she looked like she was being swallowed by the five pillows and the blankets she held.

She peeked at me from over the top of the three neatly folded blankets she held and smiled. "How do you feel about building a fort in the living room?" she asked. She raised her eyebrows and did this sweet little smile thing, and I just knew she knew that I wouldn't be able to resist that look.

"How old are you?" I asked in an attempt to show that I could hold my own against her. But let's be real, the second she smiled at me like that, I was a goner.

Lottie laughed and took my elbow, tugging me down the stairs. "Come on, tomorrow's my birthday," she sang. "Humour me!"

I let her lead me because it made her happy. She turned around and looked at me as she walked down, but then she tripped, and her eyes widened. My hands immediately dropped the pillows and grabbed her by the waist. "What the fuck!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, I didn't expect that," she breathed, clinging onto my neck like a scared baby monkey. I could feel her heart beating fast, and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"What's wrong with you?" I grumbled. The pillows and blankets were now scattered all around us, and she suddenly started laughing. I frowned and said, "I don't trust you to walk properly anymore."

"Wha-" Lottie squeaked when I adjusted her so that she was draped over my shoulder and back. "What are you doing?"

I walked downstairs and deposited her on the floor, and as she gave me a bemused look, I went back upstairs and shoved all of the things we dropped towards her. "You don't even know how to walk properly." She pouted.

"It was just a mistake!"

"First you fall on a counter, and now you're falling down stairs-"

"Benny!"

"What?"

I squatted down and stared at her. She stared back with her expressive doe-eyes, and I gave her a sort of smile and ruffled her hair. Despite the fact that she nearly gave me a panic attack, she was still fucking cute."How do we make a fort?" I asked to see if it would make her happier.

That brightened her up out of her pout and she shot to her feet, grabbing pillows at random. "Come on, then," she urged, smiling excitably.

I gathered up the rest of the blankets and followed her to the living room, wondering how on earth she could get me to do things that I really didn't want to do. She beamed at me and immediately jogged over to the biggest sofa that lay in front of the telly.

"Pass me the Winnie the Pooh blanket, will you?"

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "I like this one," I said sarcastically, grimacing at the sight of the bright pink background and mismatched orange stitching.

Lottie ignored me and took the big Winnie the Pooh blanket, draping it over the back of the sofa. She did this weird thing with the pillows where she used them as stoppers for the blanket to create this tent-like shape while I watched with furrowed eyebrows. I wasn't sure how she did what she did, but it was fascinating to watch.

While spreading some more blankets on the inside of the fort thing, she glanced at me and shook her head. "Lazy bum," she said.

"What do you want me to do? You've practically finished it all!"

"You could offer to help?" she suggested, trying to look mad, but I could see that she was holding back a grin.

I sighed and got to my knees. "Would you like some help, love?"

I didn't even know until I said it, but the 'love' slipped out so naturally that it surprised me. Lottie paused, giving me a strange look. I returned her look blankly until she just laughed nervously and reached out to grab my hand and tug me nearer.

"Come put the pillows inside while I make some hot chocolate."

It took me a while to register what she said, but once I registered it, my brain went into some sort of seizure mode. Making hot chocolate required her access to the fridge, and in the fridge was her cake, so in a frenzy, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, highly amused as I nuzzled her neck and pulled her onto my lap.

My cheeks heated slightly when after a moment's hesitation, Lottie started stroking my hair. I really liked it when she touched my hair. It felt nice, and her fingers were really gentle.

"Ben, as lovely as you are, I really want some hot chocolate."

I panicked again and clutched her tighter when she went to stand up. "Wait," I said, and paused. What was I supposed to say to stall? "Er...let me go make it." She couldn't go into the kitchen, because she'd open the fridge and see the cake.

"Really?"

I internally groaned my displeasure at the idea of having to be in the kitchen for something other than eating, but nodded my head anyway. "Yes, I'll make it. You fix up the pillows here."

"Really?" she asked again. She looked so skeptical that it made me want to laugh. She was suspicious, and I had to think of something quick.

"Lottie," I said.

She cocked her head in confusion. "Why do you want to make the hot chocolate? You wouldn't even whip the cream-"

She was getting too suspicious and it was psyching me out. "Stop talking," I muttered.

"Wha-" I cut her off by cupping her face and kissing her. She made a surprised noise and fell over, and I followed, moving my hands to her hair and hovering right over her.

When I pulled back, her eyes were unfocused and dazed and her lips were bright pink, and even though my breathing was uneven and all I wanted to do was keep kissing her, I got to my feet and ran to the kitchen. I let out a relieved breath.

Oh fuck, now what do I do?

How do you make hot chocolate?

I stood in the middle of the kitchen and scowled.

I took a carton of milk from the fridge and had to look through all of the damn cabinets just to find a mug and hot chocolate powder. I poured the milk into the mug, spilling a little, and then put it in the microwave. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" I asked myself, eyeing the buttons angrily.

"Ben?" a small voice said.

I turned around and saw Lottie leaning against the doorframe. "Hi," I said.

"Do you need help?" she asked softly. She smiled and skipped over to me when I nodded frantically.

I watched as she pressed some random buttons on the microwave that made multiple beeping noises that I didn't understand. "How are you doing that?" I asked.

"How am I heating up milk?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. She took her mug out of the microwave and laughed that lovely laugh of hers. "You're seriously hopeless. How are you living by yourself?"

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but laugh with her. "Clark's the next Masterchef, Lottie."

Once she'd made her hot chocolate, she took my hand and took me back into the living room. Her hand was really warm from holding her mug, but mine was probably even warmer from nerves, not to mention disgusting and sweaty. She either didn't seem to mind or didn't notice it. She stopped us in front of the fort and knelt down to prepare to crawl inside.

"Lottie, I don't think I'll fit in there," I said. The blanket creating the fort wasn't all that large, and I wasn't sure how I felt about sleeping while Winnie the Pooh's enlarged face stared at me.

"Don't be silly, you will," she said, beckoning to me.

We stared each other down for a minute until I groaned and crouched down so I could sit beside her.

The inside was dark, and all I could make out was the shape of Lottie's body and the giant smile on her face. "Isn't this fun?" she asked.

I leant back against the mounds of pillows. "If I'm being honest, not really."

"I knew you'd say that," she said. "Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

I looked at her hopeful expression and felt myself crumble into a pile of lame Ben crumbles. "Okay," I said, and had to take a deep breath when she cheered quietly.

"Give me a minute." She crawled out of the fort thing and I could hear her pattering away. I sighed and then sat up, pulling off my shirt, socks and belt.

I wanted to be comfortable, for Chrissakes.

I closed my eyes and relaxed against the pillows and blankets. It was actually really comfortable, but I still felt like a giant in a baby's house. But it made Lottie happy to do this, not to mention it was her birthday tomorrow.

And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we got to sleep beside each other. Nothing at all.

"What shall we watch?" I heard her say, and I grunted in response. I felt her lying down beside me, and then she jumped up. "You took off your shirt."

I opened my eyes and balanced myself on my elbows. "Keen observation, Lottie," I said. "Does it make you nervous?"

I couldn't really see her expression in the dark, but she coughed a little, and the shining laptop I saw in her hands shook. "No," she said, laughing. "You're very fit, and I know that already."

I bit my lip to keep in my smile as she plopped down beside me. She didn't even flinch when I rested my arm under her neck and pulled her head onto my chest. She even snuggled closer, which made me nervous because I worried she could feel how fast my heart was beating.

"My dad leant me his laptop," she said, opening the lid. "What do you want to watch?"

"Whatever is available," I said vaguely. I rested my cheek against the top of her head and closed my eyes. Her hair was so soft, and was funny to feel because of the mound of curls and waves.

I shifted my body so that it was slightly turned towards her, and she giggled. "You're tickling me," she whispered.

"What am I even doing?"

"Your chest needs a shave, you're gross."

"I'm not gross, don't be rude."

The artificial light from the laptop illuminated her face in a slightly creepy way, but she still looked absolutely beautiful. Even when she wrinkled her nose in disgust like that.

"You need to wax your whole body, I bet, you hairy bear," she teased, making me want to laugh. I watched her log into Netflix and browse the different films.

I scoffed. "I'm gorgeous the way I am."

"Okay," is all she said. There was this extremely cheeky grin on her face, and I just wanted to poke her dimples.

"Let's watch that," I said, pointing at the screen randomly.

"You want to watch a cheesy horror film?"

I pursed my lips. "Why not?"

"Aw, Ben, is it going to scare you? Do you want me to protect you?" Her tone was completely serious, but she couldn't last even two seconds before she started laughing.

"Brat."

"You love it though," she laughed.

My whole body seemed to fill with an unbelievably overwhelming sense of compassion for the girl in my arms as I listened to her giggle, and it made me realise that I hadn't told her yet. Suddenly, my hands started sweating and I found it hard to breathe, and I wasn't sure whether I was just having issues or I was losing my voice.

Lottie had started the cheesy horror film I had picked and positioned the laptop so that we both had a clear shot. "If you get frightened, just let me know. I'll hold your hand."

"Who wants to hold your grimy hand?" I mumbled, still thinking about when I was supposed to tell her how much I adored her.

She craned her neck so I could see her wink at me. "You do, Ben."

Well, she wasn't wrong.

We watched that stupid, not at all scary film from start to finish, and I'll be honest. I didn't think Lottie was the type to criticise how weird paranormal ghost things killed their victims, but she was. I thought she'd get scared, but she didn't, just pretended to throw up on me.

"That was gross," she said in a sleepy voice, yawning into her hand. "Too much blood, right?"

"Right," I agreed.

"I didn't know ghosts could hold knives."

"Me neither."

Lottie closed the laptop and yawned again. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

She snuggled close enough to me that I could feel her light breathing on my chest. "You're just being quieter than usual."

Sorry, I was just trying to figure out how to confess my love to you. "I'm okay," I said. "There's nothing the matter."

"Ben?" I heard a few minutes later. Her voice was soft and quiet, and I almost didn't hear her.

"Yeah?"

She patted my chest and sighed tiredly. "I just wanted to remind you that I think you're lovely. Don't think any different."

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out four times. "I love you, God, I really, really love you," I said, the words tumbling out of my mouth in a rapid, garbled mess.

But she was already asleep.