A/N: for some reason, this chapter was extremely hard to write, but I hope you like it! And dedicated to this fabulous girl who made the cover on the side :D

Chapter 22: Sour as a Tamarind

As we got closer and closer to our destination, I was trying to think of what drug I must've taken that would've made me be stupid enough to agree to this.

I didn't want to be anywhere near those people. There was a reason I left, and even though it wasn't of my own free will at the beginning, it made me happy to leave. But I was happy without them.

Fuck. I wasn't even sure if I knew what 'happy' was anymore.

A small squeak had me glancing to my left, where a sleeping Lottie sat. I frowned. She may act like she did, but did she really know how to be happy?

In her sleep, her nose scrunched up and her forehead wrinkled worriedly. A gasping noise escaped her mouth. I wondered what was the matter. Was it her mother? Her father?

"Lottie," I said to myself. I liked saying her name. It reminded me of things I used to forget. It reminded me of determination and stubbornness and friendliness. It reminded me to be kind.

She moaned in her sleep, almost like she was in pain, and, as if by second nature, I reached out and grasped her hand in mine. It was small and soft and warm, and when we made contact, she let out a tiny sigh and relaxed.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm sorry, Lottie."

My phone rang at that moment, and I scowled. I wanted to just be alone for a while. I wanted to just soak in Lottie's company. But fuck if I could.

I connected my phone to my car and pressed 'accept call.' "Ben," came Archer's voice, all staticky through the speakers.

I sighed. "What's up, kiddo?"

"We're almost there. Are you ready?"

No. I wasn't. "Yeah. Don't worry about me, buddy. I'm fine."

I heard Archer let out a relieved sigh. "Okay."

I knew the kid was still worried I would leave him again. "Hey, don't worry, Archer," I said. "I'm still going. Besides, Lottie would get really upset if I turned back."

"Lottie?" he asked, confused. "Oh, your Lottie. The Lottie who is your Lottie and only your Lottie, but is everyone else's Charlie."

"Oh shut it," I said quietly. Lottie stirred next to me, but I didn't want to her to be woken up.

"Chill oooout, Ben. I had no idea that she already had you at her beck and call. And you're not even shagging, are you?"

"Jesus Christ, kid, keep talking and I'll feed you worms, got it?"

"Yeah, but Lottie might get upset, won't she?"

I huffed in frustration and ended the call. Lottie wasn't controlling me. I glanced at her and her slightly heaving chest. She was one of the only people who didn't try and change me.

I glared at the roads that were taking me back to the place I never wanted to go back to. As I drove, the farmland that enclosed the roads was soon replaced by buildings. It occurred to me that Lottie should be briefed before meeting my parents. I didn't want her to get hurt by their callousness. I wanted to make sure she understood that what they said didn't matter.

I removed my hand from her tight grip and shook her shoulder. "Lottie," I said loudly. "Lottie, wake up."

A slow groan escaped her mouth and she jolted up, rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes. "Wha-" she said, her voice thick and fatigued. "Benny?" She glanced around quickly, and upon seeing me beside her, she relaxed.

I held back my amused smile at the sight of her tangled hair. She looked like a doll, but I knew she needed to clean up before she met my parents. "We're almost there," I informed her, my hands unconsciously gripping the steering wheel tighter.

She yawned and stretched her arms, and I almost laughed, because she couldn't even yawn like a normal person. She yawned like a panda. "Okay, Ben," she said agreeably.

I gritted my teeth. I'd have to tell her someday, wouldn't I? Just suck it up, Ben. Tell her. "Er...Lottie?"

At my tone of voice, her head popped up and she furrowed her eyebrows in concern. It baffled me how quickly she could detect sorrow in somebody - even before they could themselves. "Yes?"

I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second. "Er, there's probably something you should know about my parents." She remained quiet, but urged me on with a soft touch to my forearm. Why was this so hard to say? "They disowned me," I said quickly. The words felt like tar in my mouth.

When I didn't hear anything from Lottie, not even a gasp like I expected, I looked at her. My eyebrows raised when I saw that her face had turned a bright red - she wasn't blushing, she was...angry? Her fists clenched, and it reminded me of that time in her bakery, when Mrs. Wellington had come and Lottie had sent her away.

"Lottie?" I said worriedly. She looked like she was about to explode, to be honest. "Lottie..."

I had to look back at the road, but I heard her take in a shuddering breath. "Disowned," she repeated.

My jaw clenched. "Yeah," I said.

"Is there a reason, or do they simply not see what a stud of a son they have?"

A small smile quirked up my lips at her words, and it shocked me. She knew exactly what to say. "Three years ago," I said, "I told them I didn't want to inherit my dad's company - I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I didn't want to become my dad. And so they thought I was just wasting my life and was a screw-up and would never do anything good with my life. So when I didn't change my mind and started getting into trouble, they told me I could either get out, or I could follow in his footsteps."

I wasn't sure why I was telling her. We hadn't actually known each other for a long time, but she'd already made me more comfortable around her than I could remember being around anyone, besides Clark.

"I don't mean any offence," she said, "but I'm not really 'feeling the love' towards your parents." She shook her head. "That's such a stupid reason, Ben, seriously. Disowning you for that? Stupid. You're their kid."

I chuckled. God, that was what she did to me - she made me laugh. She made me happy. Even when she was insulting someone, she seemed kind. If that was even possible.

"Aw, yay," I heard her say, and her finger poked my bottom lip. "I love it when this happens."

To cover up the fact that my cheeks were heating up, I cleared my throat obnoxiously. "Anyway. They're not going to be happy to see me, so I'm just warning you. And they're extremely posh, so they might also take stabs at you. Don't take it to heart, okay? Because I know that nothing bad they're gonna say to you is true."

Without replying, Lottie loosened one of my hands from the steering wheel. "Relax, Ben," she said. "You're hurting yourself."

"Promise me you won't mind what they think of you, Lottie," I said, even as I turned to mush from her light touch.

"Ben, you keep smoothing down your shirt and patting your hair. If anything, you're the one who minds what they think."

I scowled. "I do not."

"You are. You've been doing it the entire car ride. Relax, Ben. You're a wonderful person, and they should know it. You are better than anything foul they're going to say to you, okay? Don't worry about me."

My mind raced at her words. Every syllable was punctuated with a sincere tone, and I knew that she thought what she said was the truth. But was I really? Was I really a good person? I couldn't believe that.

"Benny!" she exclaimed. "Stop that!"

I wrenched my eyes off the road for a second so I could look at her. "Stop what, Lottie?" I asked.

"Doubting yourself. Stop doubting yourself."

Goddammit. God motherfucking dammit. Why did she have to do that? Why did she have to know me better than anyone ever has in the span of a few simple weeks? "Jesus Christ, Lottie. Have you ever considered being a motivational speaker?"

She laughed. But even her soothing words and vote of confidence weren't enough to hold back the nerves that began to settle in my stomach as we got closer to my parents' mansion. "Hey, Ben," Lottie said, five minutes later.

Images of my parents kicking me out swirled in my mind, and I had to force myself to reply. "Yeah?"

"I'm here, okay?"

"I know," I said. I knew I'd feel embarrassed later because of how needy I'd projected myself to her, but as of now, I was grateful for her. I glanced at her and felt myself slightly comforted at the sight of her closed eyes and calm expression. God, she was heaven-sent.

"We'll do this together," she said.

"I'm grateful for you," I whispered low enough that she wouldn't hear me. "I'm very grateful that you're in my life."

***

Precisely twelve minutes later, my car rumbled to a stop behind Archer's. Lottie and I got out and approached him. He was busy carrying the cake.

I swallowed when I looked at the large, white brick mansion and the unnaturally green lawn surrounding it. Everything was how I remembered. Nothing had changed. My stomach churned and I froze mid-step. I couldn't do this. I had to go back. They didn't want me here.

A hand touched my elbow. "Ben," Lottie said, her tone more caring than I could've imagined possible.

I breathed out. "Thanks for coming, Lottie," I said.

"You're welcome!" she exclaimed, smiling at me reassuringly. My heart rate decreased as I looked at her, and I felt more calm.

"Ready?" a voice said from behind us.

I took a deep breath to compose myself. "Hold on," I said. I combed my fingers through her wavy brown hair, untangling the snarls and smoothing down loose hairs. As much as I thought she was beautiful, I wanted there to be as little snarky comments directed towards her as possible.

She smiled her thanks and I nodded.

"Now let's go," I said. Archer grinned at me and bent his head for us to follow him. I pulled Lottie to my side and rested my hand on her back. Touching her had a calming effect on me, and it made me feel better about entering the dragons' lair.

"As soon as you want to leave, just say the word," Lottie said to me.

"It'll be fine," I said. She nodded and patted my cheek and told me she was proud of me. I felt like a little puppy from all her attention, but to be honest, I didn't really mind.

"It will be fine," she repeated.