《The Untended Endearment》Hidimba
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Standing in front of the large rock throne surrounded by the lush greeneries and tall mounted trees she could almost feel her son's high pitched voice ordering the workers to collect the good quality of fresh fruits and roots for storage so that they last long. Rains will start soon and they will depend on this for livelihood. Rains always made it difficult to look out and hunting of food generally come on a halt in these times. The jungle is always a difficult place to live but the continuous pouring of water turned it into a pure mess.
Her brave son being the king will generally look after the troops working on the arrangement of filling storage. He leads the troop going for a hunt. But this year he is not here to prepare and instruct everyone.
His grandson's enthusiastic smile crossed her mind making her chuckle painfully. He always loved this time of year where he got a chance to accompany his father on these hunting trips. He was a skilled warrior almost perfectly brilliant with the arrows. He never loses his aim. He can punch every leaf on a tree with a single arrow making the whole country feeling proud of their prince.
This time he is not here to hunt tigers and dears excellently and returning with his enchanting tales. Her heart ached for her kids. They loved to travel to faraway places to search for their purpose in life. This search leads them on a journey for never returning to this disastrous war and she lost them forever. Her daughter in law can't handle it and died due to shock and trauma.
They got sacrificed in a war fought to avenge an empress honor that her family and loved ones put at stake and failed to protect. Millions of families got sacrificed for a woman who got insulted by her family members. Dharmayudh they called it a war fought to establish Dharma in Aryavrat but what she failed to understand is who committed Adharma she or her children?
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Deep down she holds herself responsible for it. If she fought harder to stop them from leaving but they went to fulfill their responsibility of a son towards their father. A father who never fulfilled his responsibility but again they are not responsible for her weakness that leads them to their deaths. A weakness which is known as love, falling for someone forbidden, someone who is never going to be her. She still remembers the moment her eyes fall on him.
She was just searching for food and they along with their mother were stuck in this illusionary forest. She manipulated them but falls for him in this process. She told him the entire truth which results in his brother's death. Not that she regretted in return of her loss she got her true love which actually was never her and she is realizing it now.
She promised to let them go set them free of every relation, promises, and responsibilities. She fulfilled her promise set them free and they left for never returning. She regrets each moment now reminiscing them is suffocating her. In all these, she never got a single letter, a short term visit. She didn't even get an invitation when her husband along with his brothers establish their kingdom. She never got a chance to participate when they performed the Rajsuya yagna where kings from the whole Aryavrat were present.
Not that she want to any position or a part in their lives never she don't have any intention like this neither she wanted any recognition. She is happy in her home and life but a invitation will made her feel like wanted and loved.This feeling of being neglected will lessen a bit. The pain and wound of years of loneliness will maybe heal a little but........
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Now she wondered did in these years she ever crossed his mind. Anyone ever mentioned her in these passed time. The more she is thinking about it now the answer gets clearer. She kept her words by setting them free but what about his responsibilities as a father and a husband. He never performed a single of it then he has no rights to claim also. Tears slipped out of her eyes when the realization of struck her hard.
She came out of the trance when someone kept a hand on her softly. She turned back wiping her tears. There stood the wife of her grandson. The poor girl got punished due to her mistake.
"Sorry my dear you have to pay for my faults" she spoke painfully ruffling her hair affectionately.
"No grandmother it's all destiny. None of it is your fault" she replied genuinely. Though she knew a mother's heart can never understand and accept this as destiny.
"It is my dear and now when I am thinking I am not able to decipher whether it worth it or more precisely he. What I got in result negligence, no consideration, the untended endearment for a whole life. Yet why would he or anyone need me for? Kuru clan got the fire born princess as their elder daughter in law. He got the world's most beautiful woman along with another beautiful princess as his wives. Where would I fit in all these? There is a reason I was never recognized and remembered because I was never needed. I was and always be an uncultured demon a misfit for their cultured royal lives" she laughed bitterly.
"Not at all grandmother you can never be a misfit. Who told you that you don't deserve this?" She asked shocked.
"I knew this always. I was aware of my life still i chose it. There are beautiful cultured princesses to choose from. Where would I stand in front of them? There is Panchali in all her glory failing the word perfection with her qualities. In which aspect I would ever stand in front of her?" She chuckled painfully.
". You gave your rights, position, recognition, your whole life along with your children. If it doesn't make you stand high in front of her than certainly equal to her. You sacrificed everything getting nothing while her every sacrifice is returned. And yes about being cultured you are far more cultured. About beauty you are unique in your own way. They don't deserve a strong woman like you as a part of them" replied the young girl proudly.
"Queen mother it's time our hunting troops are here waiting for instructions" a servant called interrupting them.
"Ask them to wait and maintain decorum I will join them soon" she stated confidently. She smiled at the young girl cleaning her face motioning to join the meeting.
"Everyone listen carefully since your king is not here I am taking charge for now" She continued instructing everyone confidently with utmost grace. Her administration qualities are impeccable since beginning. And once again everyone left awestruck with their queen wondering whether she is a demon or a fallen angel.
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