– SOLOMON'S DENIAL

blood. blood was everywhere. the moment jeongguk's eyes opened, crimson is what enveloped his vision. what is happening? was the first question that entered the man's thoughts as he couldn't put the pieces together. eyes roaming through his surroundings and body, he noticed how his hands were even covered with blood. what the hel— thoughts running into turmoil, even before he could process further, a whimper broke his trance.

shiver running down on his spine, the way the voice tickled his ears made him feel goosebumps crawl under his skin. "jeongguk" the voice, the way the hymn rang in his ears made his heart drop.

eyes widening and head immediately snapping on where the voice was coming from, his heart almost popped out of his chest. "n—no" eyes immediately growing glossy as his insides felt like it was being ripped into two, jeongguk almost died at the sight.

white torn dress stained with blood, wounds surrounding her porcelain skin and hair disheveled as it was cut short. a trembling woman trying to cover her exposed body was looking at the man's eyes as piercing as daggers. "j—jiho" he'd choked at the name, leaving a bitter aftertaste. hurrying to aid her, jeongguk panicked as he kneeled beside her, "j—jiho what—" happened. words failed him as before he could even speak, the woman pushed him away.

"this is because of you." shaky voice as tears spilled on the woman's orbs, jeongguk saw the way the woman held hatred in her eyes. "what do you mea—"

"you said you'd protect me, you said you'd never let him near me. you said you'd keep me safe! you're a liar! you're the worst! you let him rape me! you broke your promise, you hurt me once again. you let jin touch me! you're just like him – you're a monster! you didn't even think of me just because you were fucking somebody new! you're just like—"

eyes fluttering open as his eyes were welcomed with the familiar sight of the master's bedroom; jeongguk found himself catching his breath as tears soaked his brown orbs. a dream. a dream, i—

having no second thoughts, his body immediately moved on its own. jiho, jiho, jiho. as if a trigger was pulled in his system, the man hurriedly sttod up, leaving the bedroom as he tried to find his wife in their humble home. where, where, where are— eyes searching and heart wildly hammering inside his chest, jeongguk searched as his mind go into turmoil almost having panic when suddenly, he heard the giggles.

when he heard the giggles, that was the only time his nerves seemed to calm down.

feet slowly trudging on the kitchen, the sight that unfolds left him frustrated. a smiling jiho feeding their son, warmth radiated on the area.

jeon jeongguk was conflicted.

finally recalling the events of yesterday night as his terrifying dream ceased to exist in his thoughts, the man put two in two in pieces. eyes wide awake as his gaze lingered on the white and plain ceiling while he hid behind the door, hid in jinyeon and jiho's eyes, the man's thoughts were a whirlpool of confusion, frustration and denial.

yesterday night, jeon jeongguk felt his heart ripping into two when he saw how kim taehyung nonchalantly barged inside his house as if it was his own home, leaving jeongguk dumbfounded. the other man brought his wife, home. entrapped in taehyung's securing arms, jiho peacefully slept in the said man's grasp. the woman was flushed against taehyung and jeongguk was utterly and completely clueless - being shocked was an understatement.

eyes wide and with a heavy heart hammering on his shaking body, jeongguk remembered how he didn't know how to properly react to the scene unfolding. taehyung was holding his wife as if jiho was a precious gem taehyung owned and he, himself wasn't deem worthy of even holding her.

she was held by him, again. taehyung held my wife.

now, seeing the woman in flesh, jeongguk was having ridiculous thoughts. wanting to storm into the woman's side in the dining area, jeongguk had the strongest urge to cuddle in her arms and hide his worried state to jiho. the man wants to succumb into the warmth, let his body be surrounded on jiho's comforting presence. every gut inside his body were screaming to follow what his thoughts was yearning for but, like the fool that he is, he chose to push the thoughts away and dismissing it as the after-effects of his scary dream. fool.

feet finding its place on the cold floor in the master's bedroom, jeongguk decided to take a bath to cool his thoughts. wanting to wash away the lingering negative and unnecessary feelings inside his system, the moment he stepped out of the steamy bath, he realized that nothing has even changed.

hollow, empty and lonely. sighing with a years' worth with a wary heart, he sat himself on the queen-sized bed. jeongguk let his eyes trail on the space beside him where jiho used to lay. she's gone. eyes stinging with an unknown surge of tears, his sight was welcomed with a well-kept bedding and any traces of jiho's warm body sleeping beside him was clean and spotless.

the man had a rough night yesterday.

thoughts slipping once more on the events yesterday, a deep sigh escaped on his lips. leaving early on office yesterday, jeongguk was ecstatic on coming home to see jiho. an unusual feeling of wanting to see her lingers in his heart, but only heartache seemed to envelope his system when the empty manor welcomed him. despite what happened, the sadness seemed to dissipate a little when their son came home and the feeling of seeing jiho was back again.

but boy was he in for surprises with taehyung's unexpected presence.

yesterday night, jeon jeongguk found himself having a hard time to breathe. waking up in an ungodly hour because of jiho, the man couldn't find the courage to stomach the whimpering noises that escaped on the woman's lips - even through her deep sleep. the cries that escaped on the woman's lips were like poison against his heart, leaving him bleeding and torn.

his eyes now focusing on the white sheets as reality pulled him, his limbs tried to feel the warmth that used to envelope on the cloth. jeongguk silently laid himself on the mattress. jeongguk smelled the lingering sweetness of lavender, futilely reaching out to cup the pillow of jiho and embracing it, he hummed a whimper as his tears flooded.

today's day eleven of fourteen and i should be happy, excited or even ecstatic but . . but –

yesterday night, jeon jeongguk couldn't fight the urge to entrap jiho's frail and weak body against his. the man found it hard to control the treacherous and unconscious tears erupting on his eyes as he desperately sought for the warmth in jiho's body. he was scared of being busted but he couldn't fight the way how his body moved on its own.

what i'm feeling is wrong. this is wrong, we're about to get divorced and i –

at the peak of the sun shining, on five o'clock, the man abruptly woke up from a well-deserve rest. jeon jeongguk found himself desperately shushing his tears once again as he found jiho sleeping peacefully, cradled in his arms. disbelieved. jeongguk couldn't believe if everything that was happening at that time were only a dream. badly not wanting to let go of jiho in his tight embrace, he could still remember the way the clock stroke five thirty. the feeling of getting caught was making him anxious but he didn't care, the woman just felt like his home.

jiho fits perfectly in the gaps of my body.

the urge to stay with the woman for the rest of the day ate him but the moment jiho stirred, his scared heart decided to let go with a hesitating conviction.

gathering all of his strength, he dutifully sat up on the soft mattress and got ready for the day. after dressing up, he weakly trudged his way to the halls until he found himself dumbly standing and hiding to observe, again. now, jeon jeongguk found it hard to understand what was happening to him.

he watched, eyes fixated on the scene of jiho animatedly kissing raspberries on yeon. he stood silently, founding it no appetite to eat anything even as his eyes lingered on the delicious breakfast. he drank the way how peaceful his wife and son looked against each other - the guilt eating him into two.

get yourself together, jeon.

he was dressed, already ready for work. he was just letting the time pass as he await for the usual routine he and jiho are about to act in front of his son - the dreadful carry me to out of the house.

"papa, it's time to carry mama" the little man was smiling fondly at his father, jinyeon picked his bag as he stared with big and hopeful eyes. the son was the first to notice the man's hiding presence. conflicted. jeongguk felt thorns prickling the insides of his throat before mustering a quiet and timid, "yes, honey . . . it is"

as if on cue, jiho suddenly became close within his reach. the sweet scent of lavender enveloping his senses made his heart twist and churn into painful ways possible. lips instantly becoming dry, the proximity of their skins almost touching made him crave of embracing the woman for the whole day, only to never let go. "papa, give me your bag so you could carry mama" flinching at the voice as it pulled him from a deep trance, jeongguk nonetheless obliged to his son.

"put on your best smile" soft whisper escaping on jiho's lips against his ear, once her lips could almost touch his skin, the exact opposite of the action is what he wanted to do. but, what choice does he even have to refuse? nodding timidly as he started lifting the woman carefully, he slid one arm under the woman's thighs and the other supporting her small back. letting her body press closer against his, jeongguk felt the dams in his eyes almost erupt into a flood the moment their skins touched, the moment jiho let her head rest on his shoulder.

light as a feather, jeongguk felt how lighter jiho had become. pushing the storm inside his system, jeongguk pulled himself together as he tightened the embrace, the sudden feeling of jiho slipping away and breaking like a porcelain glass made its way to his heart.

"just like a king and queen" the comment from yeon made his heart falter, feeling the sour aftertaste of his wrong deeds. no, i'm not a king. nowhere close to it.

jeongguk padded down the hall while keeping the sturdy grip on the woman, jinyeon led the way until they reach the front door of the house.

already? a question that surprised him, popped inside his mind as he thought how fast the trip he had with jiho resting in his arms.

"have a good day, sweety. i hope the best for your last day in exam" jiho murmured, indicating that jeongguk should already put her down from his hold but, hesitation crept out in his skin as he made her body closer to his.

"i'll do my best mama"

it was the last day of the three days exam that would decide if jinyeon would end the school year with flying colors or not, to say that jiho was kind of nervous was an understatement.

"papa" badly not wanting to let go of jiho, jeongguk had no other choice but to put her down as jinyeon reached for his father, wanting to have his goodbye kiss from jeongguk.

"yes, my little monster?"

kneeling on the ground, to meet his son on eye level, jinyeon placed his little arms on his father's neck to hug him tight. the action made jeongguk's inside swell with an insurmountable feeling of fondness. "i love you, papa" at the mention of those words, the soft hands that clung unto him tightened. the man became confused.

cupping the little face of his son, the pouty and unmistakably glossy orbs of jinyeon made jeongguk worried. the man was just about to ask what was wrong but, jinyeon seemed to beat him from it.

"please, don't leave us" teary eyes looking up to him, the voice made was barely above a whisper, the words of his son made his eyes widen whilst his breath caught up on his throat. the man found no words to speak.

"honey—"

"mama, let me give you a kiss too!" as if dodging what was bound to be asked to him, jinyeon reached out for his mother and stood on his tippy toes to give his mother a sweet kiss.

"take care mama, papa"

waving away, a small smile graced the little boy's lips, he slowly paded on his school bus, still leaving jeongguk wondering and confused. once jinyeon was sat comfortably on the bus as it drove to his school, the cold aura surrounding the two adults became unbearable to take as they padded to the house.

"lilia, came into our office yesterday" breaking the ice, jiho spoke before she trudged inside.

what? "wait, what do you—" jeongguk touched her arm, taking a hold of it but, the action only seemed to fuel something inside jiho.

gazes meeting one another, the hatred in jiho's eyes made all of jeongguk's words falter into nothingness. "next time, tame your lover and tell her to mind her own business"

lover? the word weirdly made him weak as if what jiho had spoken were a bunch of false accusations, "i—"

"thanks to her, the precious partnership has been called off, jeon"

panic rising on his features, jeongguk couldn't help but blabber. called off? no, that can't be. "you can't be serious, there—"

"please, don't act so shocked, you finally got rid of me. even after the fourteen days ends which is three days from now, i'd be completely out of your sight, forever. congratulations" a painful smile painting her beautiful lips, jiho peeled jeongguk's skin against hers.

the statement made his eyes water, as if the words spoken to him were daggers stabbing his heart over and over. "i'm not. i didn't, like look—" closing his eyes to tame the way he unravel, the words he had wanted to speak seemed so futile to utter as jiho climbed her way to prepare for the day, not even giving attention to what he was supposed to say.

don't say that, i'll still want to see you.

with a shaky breath and blurry vision, jeongguk went to his office with a heavy heart. thoughts where everything went down with their relationship seemed to cloud his thoughts and once again, the man wasn't able to focus on his work. newsflash sherlock, you cheated.

get yourself together, you're almost there. you're almost there before you're free. pull yourself together, jeon. you don't love her, anymore. jiho, jiho is—

welcome to denial's club, jeon jeongguk.

──── ∗ ⋅ ❄ ⋅ ∗ ────

there's a saying that jeongguk used to love by heart — the kindest hearts who shines the brightest smile has hidden the most unbearable pain. the man used to take the passage close to his heart as he always associated it with jiho's personality. back when he was the smitten jeon jeongguk, he realized how true the phrase was the moment jiho came in his life. although, as jeongguk delve into the world of infidelity — the important passage seem to slip away in his thoughts, too. well what better way to recall things?

have a taste of your own medicine.

in the case of jeon jeongguk he might have learned the lesson a little way different.

jung hoseok. the name was usually associated with sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and anything but warmth. if the sunshine family was dubbed as the warmest trio — jimin being the moon, jiho being the spring that warmly wraps you into peace then, hoseok was the epitome of the sun itself. the man was everybody's friend as unlike the ji-siblings, he was more approachable and no one, no one ever saw the man angry. the man wasn't easy to be upset hence, no one has ever made him fume.

i repeat, no one.

it was around eleven hundred when jeongguk finally had the will to let the gears in his mind work and try his best to push the thoughts of jiho's words in the back of his brain. he hadn't met namjoon yet and he was still trying to piece the words on how to break the news that the VANTE corporation doesn't want partnership, anymore. he refused to talk to lilia for the rest of the day, mainly because he was pissed with her too, damn her and her harsh actions.

long story short, jeongguk was finally working and he was finally able to think straight without pondering the words that escaped on jiho. he was reviewing the third project proposal when a direct call on his phone rang on his ears. looking at the smartphone, it was a direct call coming from yugyeom.

"jeo—"

"jeongguk, prepare yourself." a timid answer. yugyeom rarely cut through his phrase even more so use his name in work. the two were bestfriends and as much as yugyeom harbored hard feelings on him because of his infidelity, the other tried to keep things professional. jeongguk could still remember the way yugyeom reacted a few days ago when he caught lilia making out with him inside his office.

"i can't believe how disgusting you two are, the worst. i always knew how a slut lilia was but of all people, if all people to do this — what a joke! this is how you repay jiho for everything, jeongguk!?" shaking his head in disbelief, yugyeom's eyes was full of hatred. "you're not my bestfriend anymore, now the pieces finally fit together. i get it. the reason why jiho wasn't coming here anymore is because she knew, she knew you're cheating on her! you're a fucktard! how can you stomach doing this! how about jinyeon?! how about your son!? fuck you, i hope your fucking dick gets cursed!"

the words sting, yes and he even begged the other to forgive him but only a tight square punch and hateful eyes is what jeongguk got. "don't touch me, man-slut. why don't you go continue your business in your office? i bet that's why you're always seeking out the leech. fuck you, i can't believe how a fool i am to not notice. now, i feel like i'm the worst friend for jiho. fuck you, you can terminate me for all i care, i don't give a single fuck"

the two has never been the same and everything around them has been just stiff. the playful teasing with each other ceased to happen and it was replaced with sarcastic comments.

("isn't lilia best to work with you? i bet you'd have so much fun with her instead. while you two have fun, somebody's hurting") he couldn't make it in himself to be mad, yugyeom had every right to act that way.

slipping out of those thoughts, jeongguk could hardly process yugyeom's warning when somebody already entered his office.