→ Never build your barriers too high

→ Give them a challenge but make it possible

━━━

about to prove to daddy that I was more excited, the unexpected scream of daddy cut me off. My body jerked forward, hitting the seat in front of me as the car swirled around like on ice. A sudden collision from the front of the car, followed by a large thump and the impact of the hit startled me. My body jerked forward and my forehead collided with the side window, even through my tightly strapped seatbelts of my car seat. I let out a blood curdling cry as I watched daddy slowly lose consciousness right in front of my eyes. I attempted to remove the seat belt from my body, struggling against its tight hold but I couldn't because of the crashing down damaged windows. Tears filled my eyes as I watched daddy's eyes flutter open for a second, his neck bent.

"I love you angel," he said and I cried again, screaming 'daddy' over and over again but everything was drowned out as his eyes fell. The metallic taste of blood in my mouth was nothing compared to what I felt right now, watching the only person who cared about me die right in front of my eyes. The airbag that was supposed to save my precious daddy lay then, slowly deflating. And then silence. Nothing scared me more from that scarred silence that afternoon.

If only I hadn't distracted daddy that exact moment.

I was pinned in place by the seatbelts as my little mind pushed to find a way to move. The blaring blur of lights by the police sirens and the screaming of people all around was nothing as tears fell from my eyes, watching my daddy covered in blood sit on the seat, his back sagging.

━━━

The bland smell of the hospital and it's depressing colored gray walls, complete with the constant high pitched beeping of the monitor was what I woke up to that day. Numbness spread across my body as I looked around the room and my eyes finally came to a rest on the hospital bed. My small body was sprawled across the white sheeted bed and casts and needles covered my tiny body.

"Daddy?" I called, my voice muffled and sleep dazed. A nurse pushed open the door of the tiny hospital room and her eyes widened as she saw me awake. She exited the room again and screamed something that didn't register at my numb stage and a second later, doctors in white coats rushed inside the room. They poked and prodded me but the only thing I continued screaming was for my daddy.

"Where's my daddy?" I demanded, finally getting the energy to push off one of the doctors arms.

"Honey..." the male doctor started but I didn't listen to the entire sentence. The look in his eyes, filled with sympathy, said everything.

I broke down at that exact moment, drowning out all the doctors sympathetic words, and cried, screaming for the man that made me happy.

"Daddy, daddy, come back!"

━━━

Someone shook my shoulder but I shoved them off, needing to see my dad alive. A cold substance hit me at full force, making me snap out of my dream and look around. Four pairs of eyes stared down at me, filled with nothing but concern. The boys all stood there in boxers at- I turned to the side and looked at the gray alarm clock sitting on top of the night table- 1 AM.

One sheepish smile caught my attention as I noticed Mason, holding a blue bucket. Looking down at my drenched pajamas, I glared at Mason before turning back to the rest of the boys.

"I- I'm fine," I say softly, hoping to reassure them, but even I don't sound convincing to myself as I notice the tears, still running down my face and my voice cracking.

Had I had been sitting in the front seat that day, I would not be alive at this moment. I should have been the one to die.

That thought individually was enough to set me off in another set of fresh tears. Through my blurry vision, I picked up the startled boys sitting on the bed gently around me, making it dip slightly. Caden put his arms around me, holding me and stroking my hair softly, letting me cry into his now soaked t-shirt. I leaned into him, accepting his warm embrace.

"It'll be okay, Jess, it'll be okay," he repeated. But no it wasn't. Dad was dead and it was all my fault.

"Maybe we should bring her to a physiologist?" I hear Adien murmur quietly, looking over my head at Caden.

"I'll look into it tomorrow," Caden said in a low voice, his chin moving against the top of my bed. Eli places a comforting hand on my back from his place on the side of the bed.

In moments, I was all cried out, my body unable to produce any more tears. "Hey, look at me," Caden said softly after minutes of silence. He pushed his arms that were holding me out a bit and put his hand on my chin, tilting my head up just enough so I met his eyes. "You know we love you right?" I didn't know that but I nodded, letting him go on. "And we'll be here for you but for that, I need you to talk to us."

"I'll try," I promised quietly, my voice breaking slightly. It was a promise that I would try my very best to keep but I knew it would be hard, after years of never letting anyone pass the barriers I had managed to build for myself.

"I love you. I had my doubts at first but after watching the horror movie and getting to know the different sides of you, even if it has just been a week, I seriously do love you," Eli stated, his eyes brimming with tears. I swallowed before giving him a weak smile.

Love was something I didn't expect when I first got here but I would be willing to give it a try. Even if it wasn't immediately that I was able to say that simple four letter word, one I had never used since dad passed away, I hoped it would be soon.

Maybe barriers were meant to be broken down after all.

━━━

𝘔𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸: 𝘍𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴- 𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳, 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 :)